Protecting Kai (True Mates Book 3), page 12
“After we eat, I’ll show you another chord since you’ve gotten those down lightning fast,” Cole interrupted his thoughts, and Kai started.
Cole set a plate on each side of the small table and beckoned Kai to come sit. Kai stood, set the guitar down beside the couch, and walked over to find Cole had made sandwiches. Potato chips filled a medium bowl for them both to take what they wanted. He sat in the chair across from Cole and scooped a handful of chips onto his plate.
“You think playing music is for you, kit?” Cole asked and took a bite of his sandwich.
Kai picked up his own, cradling it in his hands. “I don’t know.”
“You’re really good,” Cole commented.
Kai shrugged.
“If it isn’t something you enjoy, we can always try something else.”
Instead of replying, Kai bit into his sandwich and chewed, slow and calculating. He didn’t want to answer Cole because the same resentment from earlier was rising in his chest. He had no idea what words would come out, and he didn’t want to hurt Cole. The thought of worrying about Cole surprised him. His fox chirped in agreement, and Kai ignored it. He’d only been around Cole for a few days, but he could sense something inside him changing. Did he react to Cole because of the mate thing? Kai almost gnashed his teeth together. Fear had been a constant thing in his life. He knew fear. These new feelings constantly bombarding his senses since he’d met Cole he didn’t understand. They made him uncomfortable and distressed.
Cole set down his sandwich. “Is everything okay, Kai?”
“I’m fine,” Kai snapped.
Cole raised his eyebrows. “You don’t seem fine.”
“What would you know?” Kai snarled, dropping his sandwich on the plate.
Sighing, Cole said, “I thought we were finally getting somewhere, Kai. What happened?”
The bottom of the chair legs scraped the floor as Kai stood and started restlessly roaming between the living area and the kitchen. Cole didn’t ask again but waited for Kai to answer. Kai hadn’t a clue what to tell Cole. He didn’t understand it himself. Tension spread across his shoulders the longer the quiet continued. He ran a hand through his hair, fingers brushing the collar on his throat. It reminded him of the scars beneath it and Kai stopped near the couch. “Why?” he whispered.
“Why what, kit?” Cole prodded.
Wrapping his fingers around the top of the cushion nearest him, Kai shook his head. He didn’t know.
Cole stood and walked to Kai’s side. He placed a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Talk to me, please.”
Kai heard the imploring in Cole’s voice. “I don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
Wrapping his arms around his waist, Kai stared at one of the pictures on the wall. “Anything. These things I’m feeling. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Cole reached up and touched Kai’s cheek, work-roughened fingers sending tendrils of heat through Kai’s veins. Kai shivered.
“What are you feeling?” Cole asked, voice raspy.
“So many things,” Kai murmured. “Warm inside, as if I drank something hot. Uncomfortable. Angry. Scared. I don’t know. Some things I’ve never felt before.” He sat on the arm of the couch, not releasing his death grip on the cushion.
Cole crouched in front of him, looking up at his face. “Take a deep breath.” Kai complied. “Good. Now stop thinking, Kai.”
Kai gave him a skeptical look.
Chuckling, Cole patted his knee. “Sometimes it’s hard to shut off your brain. Try. The more you think, the more you go in circles. Believe me, I know. Enjoy being here in the moment. The past is over and the future is unknown. Today is the only thing you can control, Kai.”
Kai stared at him, his words very close to the thoughts he’d experienced mere moments ago. “Do I?”
“Do you what?” Cole frowned.
“Have control?”
“Of course you do,” Cole replied, confused. “Is there a reason you think you don’t?”
Shrugging, Kai cast his gaze to the side. Silence met his gesture, and when Kai glanced at Cole he saw what appeared to be pain. Kai’s breath caught, and guilt flooded him. The pain vanished when Cole realized Kai was studying him. Cole stood and moved to stand near the window. “You feel I want to control you.”
It wasn’t a question. Kai didn’t know how to answer without hurting Cole again, but his silence seemed to be what Cole expected. Cole remained turned away from Kai for several minutes, quiet and brooding. Kai wondered if Cole would speak to him again. His fox trilled at him, actually furious with him over his treatment of Cole. Shame bit deep. How could his fox expect him to be okay with everything when he’d only known Cole for a matter of a few days?
“I need to go for a run,” Cole said in a flat tone. “I hope you’ll join me, but I won’t make the decision for you. It’s your choice.”
Kai flinched at Cole’s words. They hit him in the chest—hard, tiny arrows stabbing his heart in painful bursts. He tried to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. Cole didn’t even glance his way as he strode around the couch and into the hallway. Kai hesitated for a few breaths and followed behind. The door at the end was just closing as Kai reached it.
Cole had already shifted when Kai stepped outside. He didn’t wait for Kai, loping off toward the woods. The moment Kai released his human half and became his fox, a sad cry echoed off the buildings and into the trees. Kai worked to keep himself in check as he followed Cole.
Chapter Nine
GODS, IT felt as if his chest would cave in any minute. The sheer mountain he needed to scale in order to reach Kai’s heart loomed over him taller than the trees high above him. Cole struggled with his wolf, especially when he heard the scream of Kai’s fox. The desire to return to Kai’s side deepened his pain, but he couldn’t give in. At every turn Kai stabbed him, not literally, but sometimes Cole felt the urge to check for a deep gouge where his heart beat against his rib cage.
Leaves crackled behind him, and Cole knew Kai had followed. It gave him a momentary sense of pleasure, one which he shoved away, refusing to give in to the hope he’d been foolish enough to let blind him. What had he expected? Kai didn’t even know him. He’d met Cole less than a week ago. Yet somehow he’d thought the mating bond would make a difference. How could he have been so naïve? Cole shook his head and caught the scent of a rabbit. Feral instincts kicked in, and he spun on his hind legs, darting after the furry creature. Thoughts of Kai faded behind the glory of the chase. He raced through bushes and around tree trunks, twigs snapping, branches scratching over his body. The smell of fear from the hare only further incensed his wolf. His teeth snapped shut, and the sound of bone crunching echoed through his skull. The delicious taste of blood slid over his tongue, and he lay down where he was, heaving yet victorious.
Cole remained conscious in his wolf form, but allowed his wolf control for the time being. When Kai appeared from between two trees, his wolf scented the air, and Cole could sense his wolf’s immediate desire, his own buried in there with it. Cole struggled to regain power, ignoring the intense urge to say to hell with it and let go, allow the mating to happen no matter what Kai wanted, but he knew he couldn’t take away Kai’s choice. It would make him no better than whoever had abused and tormented his mate before. Instead, Cole severed the rabbit in half and picked up part of it. He crept toward Kai, placed the hare on the ground in front of him, and returned to his own meal.
He watched Kai sniff the offering and then sit down on his hind quarters, tilting his head to the side in a quizzical manner. Cole realized Kai had no idea what to do with the rabbit. Even his fox’s instincts were stunted. Grunting, Cole bit into the meatiest portion, holding the animal in place with his paws, and tore away a piece to eat. Kai’s eyes widened and Cole saw disgust overtake Kai’s features. He took another bite and another until the only things remaining were bones and some fur. His wolf gave a huffing laugh when Kai pushed the other half toward him with one delicate black paw.
Ignoring the kill, Cole stood and approached Kai. Cole bumped against him, rubbing his neck along Kai’s. Joy struck him as Kai returned the affection, an almost purring sound issuing from the fox’s throat. Cole nipped playfully at Kai’s ear, licking the nonexistent wound when Kai growled. The smell of Kai’s fur, the feel of it on his, made him long even more for the day he could call Kai his own. He wanted nothing more than to have his mate by his side, loving him. The unwanted thought of what his life would be like if Kai left at the end of the month crowded into his mind. Everything would become dull, gray, ugly. Could he stand to let Kai go? He couldn’t keep Kai locked away, not after what happened to him before. The scars on Kai’s neck stood out in all their garish ugliness, and Cole knew he could never imprison his mate. If it came time to let him go, he would. He could do nothing else.
He shoved away any thoughts of Kai leaving and lapped at Kai’s muzzle before he turned and trotted a few feet from Kai. Stopping, he glanced over his shoulder, tossing his head as though to say follow me. When Kai stood, Cole danced several more feet from him, and each time Kai advanced closer, he would dart away again. As soon as he saw the light of understanding on Kai’s face, Cole spun and dashed through the trees, satisfaction creeping in when he heard Kai pursuing him. Every thousand yards, Cole would stop, allowing Kai the chance to catch him, only to flee at the last second. He led Kai on a merry chase for several miles. Pure happiness sang through his blood. When he’d found Kai in Phoenix, Cole had believed he might never get this time with Kai. The damage to Kai’s psyche and body made him skeptical of even getting close enough to fight off the demons haunting Kai.
Finally, not far from the pack manor, Cole allowed Kai to catch him, panting in pleasure as Kai tumbled him to the soft leafy floor of the forest. He lay pinned beneath Kai, letting Kai remain in power. Surprise shafted through him when Kai leaned down and lapped at the fur along his throat. Cole couldn’t stop the low sound his wolf issued or the reaction of his body. Kai rocked against him and Cole squeezed his eyes shut, close to losing control of his wolf. When Kai repeated the action, Cole rolled them, forcing Kai to hold still. It took every ounce of his willpower to control himself and his wolf. He shifted, knowing he couldn’t hold on much longer in animal form, his instincts too strong. Once human again, Cole threw himself off to the side of Kai, chest heaving from lust and exertion.
A flash of light behind his lids alerted him to Kai shifting. “Cole?” Kai queried softly.
Cole kept his eyes closed and threw his arm over his face, hiding the sheer desire raging through him. His cock made a hard spike within his jeans. There could be no mistaking the bulge pressing at the fly and no way Kai couldn’t smell the tangy scent of salty liquid dampening his briefs. A groan broke free when Kai laid a hand on his chest; the heat of his palm burned Cole through his shirt. “Don’t,” he rasped between clenched teeth.
Kai removed his hand. “What’s wrong?”
Good gods. Cole wanted nothing more than to beat the everliving shit out of whoever had kept Kai locked away from the world. For Kai to not understand what was happening to Cole was pure torture. “I need a minute.”
“Are you hurt?” Kai asked, concern evident in his voice.
Cole gave a mirthless laugh. If only it were something that simple. “No.”
A frustrated sound came from Kai. “Then why can’t I touch you?”
The thin thread holding his sanity in place snapped. Cole dropped the arm covering his face, opened his eyes, and grabbed hold of Kai’s hand, dragging it over the harder than steel prick beneath his jeans. “That’s why,” he growled.
Kai started in shock, eyes widening. Cole sneered and released his hold on Kai, expecting him to withdraw from him as if on fire, only to jerk as Kai flexed his fingers along his cock. Cole sucked in a deep breath. “You have to stop.”
“You’re hard,” Kai murmured, contracting his hand once more.
“Fuck,” Cole snarled and thrust his hips upward, grinding against Kai’s hand. “I need you to stop, Kai.”
“Is… is this because of me?” Kai whispered.
Cole couldn’t take it anymore. He rolled to his feet and faced away from Kai. “It’s always you,” he replied.
“Always?”
Kai either couldn’t understand what his words meant, or he wanted to kill Cole. “I think we should return to the house. It’s going to get dark soon.”
Cole heard the sound of leaves being crushed beneath paws before two wolves, one dark as night and the other golden blond, crashed through the underbrush to come to a shuddering halt in front of him. Kai let out a terrified noise and scuttled away, stopping only when he hit the trunk of a tree. The blond shifted right away, and Nick stood in its place. “Cole, hey. Didn’t know you were out here.”
Raising an eyebrow, Cole replied, “What are you doing in this neck of the woods, Nick?”
Another flash of light bounced off the trees. “We were just out for a run after visiting your father,” Thayne drawled, throwing an arm around Nick’s shoulders, very obvious in his intent of showing his possessiveness over Nick. Cole would have smirked if he could have drawn up the ability to.
Nick smiled at Kai. “Hey, Kai. It’s good to see you out. You’re looking a lot better.”
Cole glanced over and saw Kai staring in fear at Thayne. He supposed if he didn’t know the stupid jackass and he’d had the same kind of past as Kai, he probably would be just as afraid. “Kai?” he prodded. “I’d like you to meet Nick’s mate, Thayne.”
Thayne frowned. “What’s wrong with hi—ooof!”
Nick’s elbow cut him off. Thayne rubbed the offended spot and glared at his mate. “What’d ya do that for?” he demanded.
Cole approached Kai and held out his hand. “Come on. He won’t bite. I promise.”
Kai took Cole’s outstretched hand. Cole helped him to his feet and led him closer to the other two, engulfed by sadness when Kai crowded further into his side, one slender arm snaking around Cole’s waist. Any other time, Cole would have rejoiced in Kai’s embrace, but he knew the only reason Kai wanted to touch him now was out of fear. It left an acrid taste in Cole’s mouth, and he gave Nick a strained look, answering the sympathy in his friend’s gaze. “Thayne, this is Kai, my mate.”
Nick must have explained the situation through their bond because Thayne gave a softened smile at Kai. “Hello, Kai.”
Kai nodded, but didn’t say anything, studying Thayne closely, wariness in his eyes.
“What brought you to the manor?” Cole asked.
“Your father wanted to talk to me,” Nick said.
“About what?”
Nick hesitated.
“Nick? What’s going on?”
Nick sighed. “He wanted to talk to me about what’s going to happen if you aren’t able to go to the summit.”
Kai stiffened at Cole’s side. “What do you mean?”
“I’d rather you talk to your father, Cole,” Nick replied. “Please.”
Scowling, Cole demanded, “Why can’t you tell me?”
“Because he asked me not to.”
“What the fuck, Nick?”
Thayne snarled and stepped forward a bit. Nick placed a hand on Thayne’s chest. Thayne quieted down, but he kept a tight hold on Nick’s shoulders. “You know I cannot go against your father’s command, not until you are Alpha, Cole. All I can tell you is he understands your position and doesn’t want to force you to go.”
Cole wanted more than anything to smash his fist into the nearest tree but restrained himself, knowing it would only terrify Kai. “I see.”
Nick gave a wry twist of his lips. “Maybe you should talk to him tomorrow, Cole.”
“It’ll have to wait until after my meeting with the representative from Bryson’s Market.”
“You still need me for tomorrow?” Nick asked, indicating Kai with a minor flick of his head.
“As long as it isn’t going to interfere with your work,” Cole said.
“Ryan can hold down the fort for a couple of hours.”
Cole saw the distaste on Thayne’s face at Ryan’s name and hid a smirk. Even though Thayne had no reason to be jealous, he couldn’t seem to stop from wanting to smash Ryan into pieces. “Thanks, Nick. I’ll see you at eight.”
“Sure thing, Cole. We need to get going, though. Have a good evening. It was great to see you again, Kai.” Nick smiled at Kai once more.
Cole sensed Kai’s small nod, and they both watched as Nick and Thayne shifted once more. The two wolves dashed into the trees and disappeared. Cole couldn’t help but notice Kai didn’t let go of him even after they were gone. “What is Nick helping you with?” Kai finally broke the silence.
Knowing Kai would be angry if he thought Cole didn’t trust him, Cole gave him a half-truth instead. “I asked Nick to keep you safe while I’m gone.”
Kai jerked away from Cole, mouth tight around the edges. “You asked him to babysit me?”
“No!” Cole exclaimed. “I just want him there to watch over things, to make sure nothing happens.”
Kai scowled. “Afraid I’ll run away again?”
Cole sighed and ran a tired hand over his face, a headache throbbing behind his eyes. “No.”
“I don’t need him there.”
Cole wanted to snap at Kai, but he held his tongue. “I know you don’t.”
“Then why is he going to be there?”
“Are you afraid of Nick? He’s my best friend, and I would trust him with your life. He already knows you’re a fox shifter, and—” Cole stopped abruptly, realizing what he’d said. He’d promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about Kai. But when Kai didn’t react, probably because he was too wound up about the babysitting issue, Cole went on. “If you don’t want Nick here then would you be more comfortable if my mother came to stay with you?” Cole asked.
