Pack Poisoned, page 10
part #2 of Thrown to the Wolves Series
While Boden has a permanent scowl etched into his face as he contemplates if he can get away with eviscerating me without upsetting Sabrina, Slade releases a long breath before plastering his diplomatic mask on. “About last night.” When I only raise an eyebrow, unintimidated and waiting for him to get to the point, he surprises me by saying, “Why do you think she wouldn’t shift?”
It’s like he dropped a match, the simmering annoyance in my veins lighting up in response to his words. I can’t stop the low growl of annoyance that slips out, so I turn away from both of them, pacing the room. I have enviable control over my wolf compared to most of the men suffering back home, but right now, I have to grit my teeth at the violent impulses assaulting my better judgment.
I’m better than this.
But I know how to deal with a caged beast, not a semi-feral loose cannon that could make grown men piss themselves. He’s not an aching void in my chest anymore, he’s everywhere; integrating himself throughout my system, spreading like poison. It’s overwhelming, my impulses right now a watered-down version of those from last night, making me feel less human by the minute.
“The twins haven’t shifted yet,” I muse aloud, leaning into my instincts and attempting to see things through his point of view rather than mine. “And we needed that last push from her to make the shift happen. Maybe she was worried that her shift would draw theirs out and she wouldn’t be able to help them if her wolf took over?”
Slade mulls it over. “Her wolf was running the show for the majority of the evening. Maybe the three of us were a test run to make sure that she could keep us in check?”
Boden leans against the wall with his arms crossed, jaw clenched. “She only planned on you two. When she came to me and Cin, she did this thing like she was looking inside of us and asked if we wanted to wait for another night. But after she bit me, she paused at Cin and declared him not ready yet. A lot of things were crazy last night, but I swear, she was looking at him like she thought he’d stab her in the back the second it was turned before sending him away.”
We all stand in contemplative silence, the energy in the room growing increasingly tense. No matter what theory I can drum up, it isn’t good, and all of them circle back to the same terrifying line of thought. She’s an alpha, through and through, but an untrained one that’s figuring everything out on her own. If I were her wolf, surrounded by the likes of us, I’d start off with a powerful display as well.
Alpha personalities are fantastic at coping mechanisms and compartmentalizing. We have a tendency to self-sacrifice rather than self-destruct, and put everyone else’s needs before our own without ever letting them know we’re suffering. We’re our pack’s emotional crutch and safe space, so we’re good at concealing what we’re feeling so we don’t inconvenience or burden others.
If she’s actually scared of us, we wouldn’t know.
As I meet Slade’s eyes, I find the same fear in his, and I tip my head in respect. To let me see that... he may hate me, but he acknowledges that Sabrina has made us a pack, even if it’s a hot fucking mess of one with the hierarchy shot to high Hell with three alphas involved.
He clears his throat, not meeting my eye. “Before you go getting excited, I feel you should be aware; she has a birth control implant in her arm. I’m sure she’ll bring it up eventually, but we haven’t mentioned it per se, since...”
“Since you dug into her files and haven’t brought that up to her yet?” Scoffing, I shake my head. “I get it, don’t worry. I won’t say anything or get my hopes up. Probably for the best right now, anyway, while things are so... new.”
Our heads snap up at the sound of soft footsteps in the hallway, and it takes us all by surprise, side-eyeing each other to assess their reactions. Heightened senses are something we’re used to dealing with come sundown, usually sleeping through the worst of it at night; not experiencing that state constantly. It’s going to make being in a city pure agony during the day.
Our entire existence has been optimized to make our lives as hellish as possible with the exception of the one bright spot, our saving grace that makes it all worth enduring; Sabrina.
Cheeks flushed, dressed in a soft blue, airy sundress, our mate steps over the threshold. Damp hair hanging loose around her shoulders, small rivulets of water trail down her collar, the thin straps leaving ample skin on display despite the modest cut. I track each drop as if it were the last trace of water on earth and I were a step away from death, imagining tracing the path with my tongue.
Fuck, she was made to bring men like me to their knees. The picture of innocence without even trying, bringing every protective instinct to the surface, while her vanilla and espresso scent has my mouth watering, desperate to tear that dress off of her with my teeth.
She might be an even bigger threat than I am, but it’s hard to remember that when she’s standing there freshly fucked and practically glowing. When she’s shyly looking between the three of us, making me want to wrap her up in a blanket and tuck her away from the world so it can’t touch a hair on her perfect head.
“Are you guys coming with me to work again today?” She rubs the heel of her hand over her chest and a matching ache blooms in mine. “Not sure if it's a wolf thing or you just made a good impression on my vagina, but if you aren't busy, I’m not opposed to a little overbearing hovering, even if it’ll piss off Jonathan. Want to come?”
Always want to come when you're involved.
“Absolutely,” Slade declares smoothly, crossing the room to kiss her cheek. “Give me fifteen minutes to gather what I need and transfer some things to my phone?” She smiles, and with a quick peck on her lips, he's out the door.
Bo leaves his brooding post to cup her jaw, staring at the girl like she hung the moon. “Is that even a question? Of course I made a good impression on your vagina.”
She bursts out laughing, rising up on her toes as he bends down to kiss her. “Cin’s rubbing off on you.”
“Not the only one he’s rubbing off on,” he mumbles, grinning as she blushes a deep crimson.
Fuck, if she doesn’t kill me, the perpetual hard on will.
“I’m going to have to take a rain check, angel.” Crossing the distance between us, I drop a kiss on top of her head so that I don’t wind up throwing her back on the bed. “I’m going to take Hunter and Kaige to do some recon on the surrounding packs. I didn’t like what I saw when we arrived, and from the sound of things, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. If we’re sticking around for nearly a month, we need the full picture of what we’re working with so we can prepare.”
A worried crease appears between her eyebrows that I itch to smooth away, a low whine stirring in my chest at the sight. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? There’s only three of you, and-”
Unable to stop myself, I tug her away from her beta bodyguard, cupping the back of her neck and resting my forehead against hers. “You said there was something wrong with the wolf that attacked you. I intend to figure out what it is.”
Her voice is soft. “Maybe it was my fault. Now that we saw what I did to your-”
I cut off that line of thinking with a hard kiss and a fierce declaration. “You do not corrupt whatever you touch. I’ll be fine, so you just worry about kicking this project’s ass. You have five mates, beautiful.” As she opens her mouth to object, I press a finger to her lips. “Because anyone with eyes can see that the quiet twin is yours already, no mark necessary. So as I was saying, you have five mates that have all grown up dealing with the intricacies of pack drama. Let us handle this part. That’s one of the only two things that make any of this wolf nonsense bearable; the fact that we’re not in it alone.”
“And the other?” she whispers, a guilty edge to her voice.
“You. You’re everything to me, Sabrina, and I plan to prove it by any means necessary.”
***
“Why the hell have they put up with this shit?” Hunter’s voice drifts through the phone, as harsh and condemning as usual.
I hold it away from my ear, grimacing at the sensory overload. The crowd is thick this time of day, and the steady thrum of chatter mingles with car horns blaring, the ungodly loud screech of brakes, and the scent of pollution. It isn’t even that large of a town, but a constant state of heightened senses is a brutal adjustment, let alone being away from Sabrina is making me irritable.
“Their pack was what, nine people before we arrived? Three of which were women? It’s a miracle they’re even alive.”
My target takes a left turn and I make a point of waiting a minute before following. It’s not like it’s any effort to find the beta I’m tailing in a crowd, so as long as he doesn’t pick up on the fact that he’s being followed, this is seriously one of the easiest jobs I’ve done in my life. It’s kind of pathetic, in all honesty. The man’s so cocky he isn’t even attempting to sneak around.
Hunter scoffs. “There shouldn’t be any women in a pack that small. We should just slit their throats and be done with this charade, get your mate back home where she belongs.”
Leaning against the side of a brick building, I do a cursory scan of my surroundings, but nothing is registering as even worth noting. Sarcasm dripping with every word, I drawl, “I’m sure Sabrina would take that so well, she’d throw her panties at you in thanks.”
“I’m not after your mate,” he bites back. “But she’s safer back home than around these animals.”
I perk up at that, not calling him out on either of the blatant lies. “You figure out what Callahan’s into, then?”
A grunt. “Nothing exciting. Loan sharking, mostly. Embezzling. But there’s something about these guys that doesn’t sit right with me. They remind me of,” he trails off as I round the corner and return to stalking the Stonewood beta.
“Wilder’s pack, yeah. Me too. Can’t put my finger on it exactly, but it’s something in the eyes, I think. They aren’t like the typical posturing assholes with overinflated egos, they’re-”
“- cruel. The sort of men that take pleasure in hurting people.” He’s gone quiet, and I clench my fist, reining in the fury that always threatens to spill over when we get too close to this topic. I’m half convinced that I might actually shift in the middle of the damn day with the force building in my chest.
“We do whatever we need to, Hunt,” I whisper, stomach flipping uncomfortably. “End game, remember?” I watch the beta take a seat at a small, wrought iron table outside of a cafe and slow my steps, scanning the area to see how close I can get without being seen. “You know, we could just ask Slade what sort of shit these guys are into and save ourselves a few days’ worth of work.”
“I’m not asking that son of a bitch for jack shit,” he snaps, back to his usual self with the deflection, and I roll my eyes as I circle around behind the cafe. “You’ve gone soft on the guy now that you got your dick we-”
All amusement instantly drains from my face as I go cold. “If you finish that sentence, I promise that you will regret it.”
Hunter releases a slew of self-deprecating curses. “Sorry, man, I’m just-” he growls, the sound of something being hit thudding over the line “- I’m tired. Really fucking tired, but even more so after last night.”
I pick up on a familiar voice and stiffen. “Got to go.” Hanging up without another word, I tuck my phone in my pocket, slinking closer. From this angle I can’t see them, but if I concentrate, I can tune out most of the chaos around me into white noise, honing in on their conversation.
“What do you mean, five weeks?” Jackson Stonewood’s voice drops to a scathing whisper and I strain my senses, unable to get any closer without being in their line of sight.
“This can’t be shocking,” Adrian says nonchalantly, as if the beta couldn’t tear him apart in the blink of an eye. “Until she’s under their protection, the boss doesn’t want to take the risk of Brent getting... overconfident again.”
What the fuck?
“That had nothing to do with her,” Jackson snarls. “She wasn’t supposed to be in the house.”
My eyes widen as it clicks. Brent, the Stonewood alpha. The attack on the Hawthorne house that left Sabrina’s leg a mess. Several days passed before we got shit squared away at home so that we could make the trip out here, and from what I’ve pieced together so far, it sounds like Sabrina was at her apartment when shit went down until Slade dragged her right into the battlefield rather than leave her alone and unprotected in a bid to save his sister. An impossible choice, and every option was the wrong one. I can’t swear that I’d have done any better if I was in his position.
“Regardless, it happened,” Adrian retorts. “And he isn’t happy. So you’ll wait, or he’ll find new buyers.”
A sharp smack of a hand slapping down on the table that groans under the pressure. “This is bullshit!”
“So’s life,” Adrian deadpans. “Deal with it.” I can envision his smug smirk and shrug as he adds, “Or don’t, doesn’t affect me one way or the other. You’ll get your shipment after the girl’s back where she belongs since it seems Brent can’t control his pack.”
The sound of a metal chair scraping against the concrete makes my ears bleed, but I force myself not to flinch away, unwilling to miss anything. A blessing and a curse, I get my wish.
“The Hawthornes are the only things keeping her here, yeah? So if they weren’t in the picture, you’d put her on a plane sooner?”
Adrian takes a minute to mull it over before carefully stating, “The girl cannot be injured, that’s non-negotiable. But theoretically... yes. Though fair warning, there are a few additional guests in the house these days that’ll make things more difficult.”
I have to bite my tongue to stay silent, to keep myself from going over there and beating the ever-loving shit out of that sniveling excuse of a man.
“Not a hair on her pretty little head,” Jackson purrs. “You have my word. The rest?”
An ominous chill slithers down my spine as Adrian agrees with far too much enthusiasm. “Are free game. Have at it.”
Chapter 7
Sabrina
“That’s it.” Jonathan closes his laptop with a sharp snap, scooting his chair back and yanking his bag off of the floor. “Reid, I love ‘ya, man, but your brothers and their drama is another beast entirely.”
You don’t know the half of it.
“I’m going to work from home until you get your shit squared away. Any problems with the system you can call so we don’t have to play email tag, but this is a little much, even for me.” He gestures around the table, where Slade, Bo, Reid, Cin, and I are sitting. “We all know that investment line was bullshit, and I’m betting it has something to do with your dating debacle.”
Shooting me an apologetic look as he slings his bag over his shoulder, he heads for the door. “No judgment, Sabrina, you do you. Hell, date ‘em all, for all the fucks I give. But for dudes that are apparently cool with sharing, I don’t see why they’re so possessive that you can’t even work without an entourage. Props to you for putting up with that overbearing shit, but I’m out. Call me if you guys run into a glitch.”
And with that he disappears, leaving me grimacing and embarrassed. Not so much about the multiple boyfriend thing, I’ve come to terms with that, but the fact that he’s sort of... right. For so adamantly living my life avoiding falling into the trap of codependency, I’m drowning in it now. I’m not stupid enough to want to send them away after the shitshow that happened at their place with the other packs, and the events of last night that I’m half convinced were nothing more than a nightmare, but it really is pretty ridiculous that I need four of them sitting with me while locked away on one of the highest floors of Byte-Ware. If someone were to break into the building, I’m sure an alarm would sound long before they made it this far, and even if they did, I’ve got Reid. I get Slade or Damian insisting on staying as well, seeing as I’m sort of a wild card, but Boden and Cin as well are overkill.
“He’s got a point.”
Cin and Bo turn to glare at Reid like it’s his fault for not controlling his employee, or whatever ridiculous nonsense they’ve got going on in their heads. As they start bickering the way only brothers can, Slade meets my eye from directly across the table. Nothing really needs to be said, an understanding passing between us that’s as easy as breathing. He feels like home, safe; mine.
And it makes me want to throw up, because the fluttering in my chest is positively thrilled knowing all I’d have to do is say the word and he’d make whatever I wanted happen.
I don’t want sex slaves, or people that would jump to do my bidding. I want them, not what they can do for me. The writhing in my chest intensifies, an alien sensation akin to a parasite that makes me queasy to think of squirming around inside of me. Not like I don’t love their attention, but with the way she revels in it, it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong by being happy with them.
I’m going to go mad, and it’s only been a couple of days; especially if I keep pretending that everything’s going to be okay. How the fuck the guys have dealt with living like this their entire lives, I have no idea. But if there’s one thing my mother was good for, it was teaching me to identify where my limits are and then pushing past them. Burning out? Exhausted and want to curl up in a ball and cry? Too fucking bad. Breakdowns achieve nothing, simply waste time better spent coming up with solutions to the problem. It’s why half the time I get so hyper-focused on things that I forget to eat or sleep, not wanting to let anyone down, even if that person’s me.
I can’t let myself fall apart when I have too many people that need me to hold it together.
Just like Slade and Damian. Does that mean that my personality might not really be mine, but... hers? She may have been sick, but she was still there my entire life, possibly influencing my thoughts and behavior in subtle ways.
If I strip away everything about me that I can attribute to her, is there even anything left?
