Rise in Arms, page 20
part #4 of Blood Brothers MC Series
I slide off the bike and place my shades on the seat. Suddenly feeling nervous as hell, I take a few steps, then stop still at the driveway. What if she tells me to leave? What if she’s not here at all? Well, the only way I’m gonna find out is if I go and knock on that big, wooden front door.
Taking the last few steps up the driveway, I stand in front of the door. I inhale deeply then knock a couple of times. Nothing. I notice a doorbell to one side, so I ring that instead.
Finally, footsteps approach, and a voice rings out, “I already said I’m not hungry, Mrs. Loft.” Thank fuck, she’s here. I don’t respond, and then I hear the door unlocking from the other side. I prepare myself for what’s about to come, but then almost wish I hadn’t, because when she opens the door, the look on her face is not surprise, or excitement, or even happiness—it’s a look that screams You shouldn’t have come!
“Kane? What the hell are you doing here? Please leave.” Charity goes to slam the door, but I stop it with my boot. She sighs and looks up at me, her expression void of any kind of emotion. “Please remove your boot,” she says, her voice robotic and dull.
“Not until you explain why you left.”
She crosses her arms over her chest; she’s wearing a pink sweater with blue jeans, and she looks beautiful. “I have nothing to say to you, Kane. I’ve already explained.”
I step forward, and her eyes widen. “Let me in, Charity. I’m not leaving till you talk to me.”
“But I don’t want to talk to you. Please just leave me alone,” she pleads, her eyes now filled with unshed tears.
I scratch my three-day-old growth and think about what to say or do to get her to listen to me. I can be forceful, but forceful is not what she needs right now.
“Look, I know you’re hurt and in pain, but I want to be here for you, baby,” I say, stepping closer and cupping her face with my hands. Tears fall down her cheeks, and I hate that I’ve made her cry. “Please let me in, let me share your pain with you. You don’t have to be alone right now.” She begins to sob, and I pull her into my chest, cupping the back of her head. “Shush, it’s okay, baby, let it out.”
She continues to cry, then when I least expect it she pushes away and wipes at her eyes with the back of her sleeve. “No… I’m sorry, Kane, but you need to go. Thank you for riding all the way here to check on me, but I’m fine. My parents will be here in a couple of days, so they’ll be around to look after me.”
Her eyes look everywhere but at me, then finally settle on a spot on the ground. Everything in me is telling me to push my way in and force her to talk to me, because at the end of the day, I want her. I love her, and it kills me to see her going through this pain alone. But I don’t know what else I can say to get through to her. It seems she’s made up her mind and isn’t willing to budge.
“So, this is it? Just like that, you don’t want me anymore?” Feeling my stomach drop at those words, I take in a shaky breath.
She finally looks up, pain etched in her face. She cares, I know she cares, but right now her pain overrides anything—or anyone. Including me.
“Yes, Kane, this is it. I already told you back in New York that I don’t want to be with you, so please, will you just let me be. I’m sure you and Honey can pick up where you left off.”
Those words hit me like the lash of a whip. How could she think I’d go back to how things were, after meeting someone like her—making love to her—and knowing deep down now what love really feels like. Even the feelings for Jasmine I’ve carried around all this time are nothing compared to what I feel for Charity. I’ve never experienced this before, being so hung up on a girl.
I step back, a pain washing through me that has nothing to do with the bruises I still carry from my fight with Blake. She’s done—doesn’t want me. I have to deal with that. I move closer to her once again, and she steps back. I grasp her face in my hands and press my lips to hers. She doesn’t respond or open up, and the rejection stings. I don’t give up, though. I lick at the seam of her lips and bite down on her bottom lip, and finally she opens her mouth. I treasure the moment—I need to remember her taste, her warmth, the way her body feels against mine. My tongue seeks out hers, but she’s strong, she’s holding back. I wrap my arms around her and slide my hands down her back, resting them on her ass and pulling her in closer to me. I don’t hear her familiar sigh, or the sounds of longing she makes when I touch her; I hear nothing, and if that isn’t a cockblock, then I don’t know what is.
I pull back. Her lips are glistering from our kiss, but she doesn’t say anything. Tears well in my eyes but I don’t let them fall—I’m a man, the last thing I want is to break down in front of her. “Okay, baby, I’ll go. I’ll leave if that’s what you want.”
She looks into my eyes then nods. She whispers, “Thank you.”
I lean down and kiss her, needing one last taste, then pull back and drop a kiss on the top of her head. I turn around, not looking back because if I do, I’ll barge through that door, I know it. The sound of the door closing reaches my ears, and when I reach my bike I straddle it, place my shades on, and drive to the only place I know where I can dwell in my sorrows. The local bar.
I wake up to my phone ringing, and turn over in the dead of the night to find my cell beside me lighting up, indicating a call is coming through. Shit, what time is it? I sit up and grab my phone; it’s 2:00 a.m. Immediately thinking it’s my parents, I swipe the screen, and yawn as I answer the call.
“Hello?” My voice sounds drowsy, and I blink a few times, trying to wake myself up.
A deep voice says, “Hello, is this Charity?”
I can hear music in the background, and what sounds like men shouting. “Um, yes, who’s this?”
“I’m Tim, from Pete’s Bar downtown. I have a guy here that’s drunk and refuses to leave. He’s been talking about you all night, so I found your number in his phone and was hoping you’d come and pick him up.”
Kane? It’s got to be Kane!
Suddenly feeling wide-awake, I jump out of bed and switch on a light. “Do you know his name?”
“Nope, won’t tell me, but he’s wearing some leather vest that says Blood Brothers on it. He must be in some biker club or something, so don’t feel like you have to—”
“Yeah, I know who he is. I’ll leave now,” I say, rushing to the bathroom to get ready.
“Thank you. And Charity?”
“Yeah?” I say distractedly, looking around for my toothbrush.
“Give the guy a break. He loves you, you know.”
I run my free hand through my hair and sigh. “Tim, thank you for the advice, but you don’t know what’s going on.”
Tim chuckles on the other end of the line. “I know that he loves you, and how all night he’s been down in the dumps, saying you love him back but won’t give him another try.”
“I’ll see you soon,” I mutter, ending the call. Who does this Tim guy think he is, meddling in my affairs? And Kane? What the hell? What’s he doing still here, and at a bar getting drunk of all things. Could he really be in love with me…? It doesn’t matter, I tell myself, because it would never work. I can’t be in a relationship right now.
I quickly jump into my parents’ Mercedes and start it up, then let it run for a while, knowing that it’s been in the garage untouched for three weeks so far, while they’re on holidays.
Driving down the highway, I start to panic. What will I do when I get there? Do I take him to a hotel, or back to my parents’? Listen to yourself, Charity. The man helped you when you needed him, the least you can do is return the favor.
I park my car next to Kane’s bike when I arrive at the bar. My dad used to come here on Friday nights to watch a game with his buddies, and my mom used to complain each week about him going out drinking. I didn’t mind—the man works hard as a professor at a local college, and he needs a break, time to chill with his friends.
Opening the door to the bar, I search around for Kane as soon as I step inside. The bar’s quiet now, a jukebox playing softly, and there’s only a handful of men still hanging around. I spot Kane almost immediately, sitting on a stool with his forehead resting against the bar top. The guy behind the bar looks up at me, a relieved look on his face, then points down to Kane. I nod and begin to walk toward him.
Once I reach him, I can hear snores coming out of his mouth, and I realize he’s asleep.
“Here, I’ll give you a hand,” the man behind the bar—Tim, the overstepping barman according to his name tag—says.
“Thank you, that would be great.”
Tim throws the dish towel he’s holding over his shoulder then walks around the bar, stopping on the other side of Kane. “Come on, buddy, time to go home,” he says, squeezing Kane’s shoulder firmly. When Kane only responds with a grunt, showing no signs of moving, Tim lifts him off the stool, pulling Kane’s arm around his broad shoulders, and walks toward the exit. I quickly catch up and open the door for him. Noticing he’s struggling with Kane’s dead weight, I take Kane’s other arm and drape it around me, leading the way to my car. The smell of whiskey pours off Kane, mixed with a hint of his cologne, and I hold back a moan at its familiarity. I unlock the car and leave Kane with Tim for a moment to open the door. Tim places him as best he can in the passenger seat, and I quickly put the seat belt on him.
Kane opens his eyes a sliver at my touch. “Charity? Charity, you came back for me. God, I love you. Did I tell you how much I love you? So, so, much, baby.”
I hear Tim chuckle behind me. “See, Miss? He’s been saying that all night.”
I click the belt in, and I’m about to stand when he reaches out and pulls me close, holding me to him. “Don’t ever leave me, baby, I need you.” Then light snores come from his mouth again as his grip loosens and his hands fall to his sides.
“Come on, Romeo, let’s take you home.” I make sure he’s fully inside the car before standing and shutting the door. I turn to Tim, thank him quickly for everything, then get in the car, deciding to take Kane back to my parents’ house.
When we get there, I start to wonder how in the hell I’m going to get him inside on my own. Shutting the garage door, I hear him stir. He opens his eyes and looks around, then his gaze comes to rest on me. “Where…? Where are we?” he asks, rubbing his face with his hands.
“We’re at my parents’ house, I picked you up from the bar. Tim gave me a call,” I add to answer the next question I assume is coming.
He looks confused, though. “Wait, who’s Tim?”
I smile despite how exhausted I am. “The barman, the one who served you drinks all night. What were you thinking, Kane?”
He sighs, and his head falls back against the seat. “I just wanted to….”
“You wanted to what?”
He turns toward me, his eyes filled with a sadness that makes my breath catch in my throat. “I wanted to forget you.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, hating myself for making him feel that way. The guy took me in, even fought Blake for me, got rid of him and out of my life, and all I can do is hurt him.
Not able to deal with the look of grief on his face any longer, I open my door, and walk around to his side to open his. I help him get his seat belt off, and he turns toward me and starts to stand but wobbles on his feet. “Here hold on to me.” I put my arm out to him to grab hold of. He takes it, putting most of his weight on me. I don’t know how I manage it, but I get him into the family room, where I let him fall onto the couch. “I’ll go get you some coffee.” I go to turn away, but he keeps me still by pulling on my arm. I turn back to him. “What is it?”
His green eyes look deep into mine, his scruffy jaw making him look unbelievably sexy, and those lips… God, his lips look perfect.
“Thank you,” he says, and I smile.
“You’re welcome, Kane. Now, I’ll go fix you some coffee, then it’s off to bed.”
He grunts, then his head drops between his legs and I hurry to the kitchen, returning with a glass of water. “Here, drink this, your coffee is almost ready.”
He looks up again and takes the glass of water out of my hand. “Thanks.”
I watch him swallow every bit of water, and I find my gaze transfixed on his throat—even the way he swallows is sexy. He hands the empty glass back to me then removes his cut, placing it on the couch beside him. He’s wearing a fitted V-neck white Henley—delicious—and I don’t realize I’m staring until he says, “Babe, you okay?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah. I’ll just… go get you that coffee.”
He smiles as if he knows he’s getting to me but doesn’t say anything. It was pure torture not kissing him back before, but it needed to be done. I needed him gone. But right now looking at him this way, makes me realize how much I’ve missed him.
I return with a strong brew in hand and leave it on the coffee table in front of him. “It’s hot, make sure you drink it. I’ll go get you some blankets so you can sleep here on the couch.”
He looks down at the couch and pushes his hands down into the cushions. “Looks comfy, thank you, but I can go and stay at a motel if you prefer. You don’t have to do this, Charity.”
I wring my hands in front of me, knowing that I should drive him to a motel, but at the same time wanting so much for him to stay. “No, it’s the least I can do for you.”
Before he can reply, I walk to my parents’ linen cupboard, where I know my mom keeps all the spare blankets, sheets, and pillows. I grab one of each, then walk back to the couch and stop in my tracks when I spot Kane removing his shirt. He’s now dressed only in light blue jeans and revealing his perfectly muscled chest and back. He throws the shirt to the ground then removes his boots. Trying to act unfazed by it all, I head over to the couch and move his shirt to an arm of the couch, then place the sheet over the cushions. When I stand, he’s unbuckling his jeans, and is about to remove them when I shout, “Stop!”
He freezes, his eyes widening. “What? What’s wrong?” He’s swaying on his feet so I move closer and hold him upright, then help him sit back down. His fly is undone, and I can see his black briefs low on his waist, his happy trail leading my gaze from his belly button to under the seam. Sweet Jesus.
“Drink your damn coffee,” I say determinedly, waving at the coffee still sitting untouched on the table. “It’s going to go cold.”
He takes a sip and scrunches up his face. “Shit, woman, this is strong.”
“Yeah, well, you need it. Okay, so here’s your blanket and pillow—” I lay the pillow down at one end of the couch. ”—and if you’re okay and don’t need anything else, I’m going to head to bed, it’s been a long night.” He takes another sip, wincing again at its taste. He hands the cup back to me then falls onto his back, shutting his eyes. “Kane? You need anything else?”
His hand moves up to cover his eyes, and I watch him for a few minutes—the way his mouth opens with each breath, his chest rising and falling, all the way down to his open jeans, the bulge of his cock standing out underneath his briefs. I lick my suddenly dry lips—what I would do to have one more taste of him. But I won’t. I won’t let myself fall for him again. I can’t. Right now, my heart is broken, and there’s no room for anyone or anything else.
I gently place the blanket over him, then turn off the light and head upstairs to my room. Removing all of my clothes except my panties, I slide into my childhood bed, no energy left to even shrug my favorite sleep T-shirt on. Once my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light.
I wake up to a sound in my bedroom and open my eyes, my heart pounding in terror as the silhouette of a person standing at the end of my bed comes into focus. I freak out and sit up, about to scream, when Kane’s familiar voice says, “It’s only me.”
With my hand clutching the sheet to my chest, I say, “Kane, what are you doing here?” I look to the left of my bed, the alarm clock on my bedside table telling me it’s close to 5:00 a.m. “Kane, it’ still early out, go and get some more sleep.”
I hear him scratch his jaw, the familiar sound of his whiskers against his nails calming my breathing a touch. “I can’t sleep, babe.”
“Why, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” I let go of the sheet a little but still manage to cover my breasts. Why the hell did I get naked tonight?
His jeans are gone, and he’s standing there in just black briefs. He walks around the bed toward me then sits down on the edge. His hand comes out and he runs the back of his knuckles down my cheek. “No, not sick, babe,” he answers. His eyes are shining with the small amount light that’s coming through my window.
“Do you need some Tylenol?”
“Already had some, found it in the bathroom cabinet.”
“Right,” I mumble, unsure what to say next.
“I can’t sleep because I know you’re here in this house, and I want to be with you.”
My body shivers, yet the longing his words bring out in me has me all hot and bothered. “Kane, please don’t do this,” I beg, needing him to be the one to leave, because I’m not sure I can turn him away this time. I know I act all tough, but the truth is that I do love him—I love him so much it hurts, and right now I need him. I know I do. I just…. I think he deserves more, someone who’s not broken inside—someone who can be happy and wild and free. But that’s me, at least it used to be, and maybe one day I’ll get it back, but for right now? I think keeping to my own company is the best option.
“Please, baby, I don’t want much, I just need to lie here with you. Please, will you just give me that? Let me hold you. I need you, I’m hurting too.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, contemplating his offer. What’s the harm? It would be nice to snuggle with him.
“Okay, “I say, defeated. I turn the blankets down and shuffle over. He slides in and covers us both, and I lie on my side, my back facing his chest. I hold my breath when his arm wraps around my body and brings me in closer to him. He tucks my head under his chin, and it’s not long before he’s fast asleep, his breaths coming out slow and even, and with the warmth of his body surrounding me, it’s not long before I’m fast asleep in his arms.
