“Not for you.”

  “Oh, yes—for me,” Devon said. “Why do you think I always want to have it when we go out?”

  Carrie looked up at Devon curiously.

  “I can’t make a pizza to save my life,” Devon said.

  “You don’t have to try and make me feel better.”

  “I’m not,” Devon said. Carrie’s eyes opened a touch wider. “Well, I am, but I am also telling you the truth.”

  “You can’t make a pizza?”

  “Did you try to make that dough yourself?” Devon asked. Carrie nodded. “There’s a reason Pillsbury’s got their dough boy, sweetheart.”

  Carrie’s lips curled upward at the sound of Devon’s endearment.

  “What?” Devon asked.

  “I’m sorry that I ruined dinner,” Carrie said with a sigh.

  “You didn’t ruin anything.”

  “Are we looking at the same thing?”

  “Science experiment?” Devon quipped.

  “That might be more edible.” Carrie hung her head.

  “Carrie, I don’t care about dinner,” Devon said. She leaned in and kissed Carrie soundly.

  “Devon…”

  “Too much?” Devon guessed.

  “No,” Carrie answered honestly. “And, that is why it is.”

  “Is that Jedi speak?”

  Carrie chuckled. She placed her hands on Devon’s chest. “I already ruined dinner…”

  “You think your pizza heralds doom for us?”

  “Us? Is there an us?”

  “I’d like to think so,” Devon said. “Did I not make that clear? I haven’t; have I?” Carrie smiled. “We are on the same page,” Devon said. “I don’t want you… I mean, I want you, but I don’t want you to…”

  Carrie silenced Devon with a kiss. “I understand.”

  “So? How about a new plan?” Devon suggested. “Let me see what we can do about salvaging dinner.”

  “You would need Christ himself to resurrect that,” Carrie pointed to the sloppy mess that was intended to be their dinner.

  “Use your Jedi powers and order us one to be delivered,” Devon cracked. Carrie laughed. Devon kissed her on the forehead. “Come on, pizza and Star Wars. Perfect first date with my girlfriend.”

  “Are we going steady now?” Carrie grinned.

  “Hey, I almost wore that sign that kids made me.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Carrie asked.

  “Still can, if…”

  Carrie kissed Devon. “I already got the memo.”

  “Good. Order our salvation. I’ll find the force,” Devon said and headed back to the living room.

  Carrie grabbed a few menus from a drawer. She picked up the house phone and laughed. “I should probably program these in now.”

  ***

  SIX DAYS LATER

  “You must be excited to see everyone,” Devon said.

  Carrie’s head was resting on Devon’s chest. Devon felt Carrie’s grip around her middle tighten. They had opted for a quiet night at Carrie’s house—no pizza. Devon had brought dinners over from the restaurant. They had retreated to the living room after their meal to watch a movie. Carrie had clicked it off less than fifteen minutes in, telling Devon that she didn’t want to waste the night watching movies. She wanted to talk to Devon. Most of the night had been spent laughing in between tender caresses and soft kisses. Carrie was tempted to ask Devon to stay the night.

  “I am,” Carrie admitted.

  “But?” Devon asked. Carrie sighed. Devon kissed her on the temple. “I’ll miss you too. You miss your family. You won’t even have time to think about me,” Devon offered.

  Carrie pushed herself up to look at Devon. “I won’t miss all the pizza.”

  Devon thought her heart might burst as she looked at Carrie. She felt Carrie’s breath on her face and in another instant, Carrie’s lips were pressed to hers. Devon lost control of her hands. She had never wanted to feel another person so desperately. Her hands moved along Carrie’s sides sensually, gradually down her back, and up again. She heard Carrie moan into her mouth. Carrie’s lips strayed to Devon’s neck, and Devon groaned. She cautiously pushed Carrie away. The fear in Carrie’s eyes nearly crushed her.

  “If I don’t stop this right now,” Devon said. “I won’t be able to.”

  Carrie sighed and closed her eyes. “I’m not sure that I want you to stop it.”

  “Carrie,” Devon’s voice trembled. “You have no idea how much I don’t want to stop.”

  Carrie sighed again.

  “I don’t want to make love to you the night before you leave for two weeks.”

  “Dev…”

  “I can’t explain it. I just…”

  Carrie opened her eyes. She smiled at Devon. It was the craziest thing; Devon’s words were exactly what Carrie wanted to hear. Those words also made it infinitely harder to allow Devon to leave. “Who knew you were such a romantic?” Carrie teased her girlfriend. She kissed Devon sweetly.

  “I probably should go,” Devon said sadly.

  “Don’t… Devon, I know you are right. Just… I just…”

  Devon pulled Carrie back into her arms, and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch to cover them. Carrie’s head took up residence on Devon’s chest again while Devon stroked Carrie’s back. Devon let her eyes fall shut. She felt Carrie’s breathing even out, their breathing rhythmically timed. Devon felt her truth finally take shape clearly. Her eyes opened for a brief second. She looked down at Carrie sleeping against her. “I’m in love with you,” Devon kept the words to herself. She closed her eyes again in silent resignation. “God, help me, I am so in love with you.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Aunt Carrie?” a voice called for Carrie’s attention.

  “What’s up, Grayson?”

  “Want to see what I built?”

  Carrie smiled at her nephew. He had just turned eight, and he was addicted to two things: Harry Potter and Minecraft. She wondered if he would be the one to foster a brand new gene pool in their family. Perhaps the next generation would be named Hermione and Harry. That would just burst her father’s bubble wide open. Carrie snickered at the thought. “Sure,” she said.

  Grayson led Carrie to his bedroom. Carrie pulled a chair up beside him and looked intently at the computer screen as he began to point out the various parts of the building that he was creating. She smiled, nodded, and asked questions occasionally; trying with everything she had to concentrate on her nephew’s creation. She adored Grayson, and he held enormous affection for her. Ford called Carrie every couple of weeks to check in. Grayson often wouldn’t wait that long and would coax his mother into calling his aunt at her office. Ford and his wife, Donna had finally given Grayson a supervised email account. Carrie had seen glimpses of Grayson’s Minecraft creations as they evolved through the months. He loved to send her snapshots of what he was working on. Carrie would take a goofy picture of herself doing something like trying to build a house with notepads and send it back. She missed Grayson. Right now, she was missing someone else.

  “There you two are,” Ford popped into the room. “Ah, I see you have taken a tour of the castle,” he pointed to the computer screen.

  “I have. It’s grown,” Carrie commented proudly.

  “Yeah,” Grayson agreed. He turned to Carrie and smiled. “I’m gonna build Hogwarts next.”

  “Hogwarts, huh?”

  “Yeah. I’ll show you later. Some people have done it already, but I’m gonna make it the way it is in the books,” Grayson explained.

  “You will be doing a lot of mining then,” Carrie replied.

  “Yeah…”

  “Mom’s looking for you,” Ford told his son.

  “I put the dishes away,” Grayson commented. Carrie snickered.

  “I can see that,” Ford said, taking in the glass and bowl that sat on his son’s desk.

  Grayson huffed, picked up the offending items, and looked at Carrie. “I’ll show you later,” he said.

  Carrie winked at her nephew. “I will be here,” she promised.

  “Mom!” Grayson called out through the house.

  Carrie shook her head. “He is just like you,” she laughed.

  “Minus the Minecraft,” Ford agreed. He took a seat on the edge of his son’s bed. “Are you okay?” he asked his sister.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You’ve been quiet all day.”

  Carrie smiled and took a deep breath. “Guess I have some things on my mind.”

  “Problems at the firm?” Ford wondered.

  “Unless you mean trying to corral Darlene, no.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  Carrie shrugged. “She’ll never change,” Carrie chuckled.

  Ford narrowed his gaze in concern. Carrie was usually animated during her visits. She had seemed introspective that last couple of days. She was Carrie, but she was Carrie light. “Carrie?”

  “It’s nothing,” Carrie dismissed his concern. “It’s just strange, I guess.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t know,” Carrie began. She moved from the chair she was occupying and flopped down into her nephew’s bed next to her brother. “It’s like… How do I explain this?” she asked. “Every year, I look forward to coming home.”

  “And, this year you didn’t?”

  “No, it’s not that. I am happy to be here with you. You know that. I hate that we are so far apart.”

  “I know, me too.”

  Carrie sighed. She smiled weakly at her brother.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” he asked.

  “A lot, actually,” Carrie laughed.

  “Well?”

  Carrie chuckled and followed with a heavy sigh. “I do miss you. I guess, I just am looking forward to going home this year.”

  Ford considered Carrie’s admission for a moment. She had made her life for nearly twenty years in Connecticut. She had left at eighteen for college, and had never returned permanently. Carrie had built a successful business. She had close friends, and had purchased a home she loved in Connecticut. Despite all of it, Ford could not recall Carrie ever referring to the East Coast as home—until now. He had sensed in their recent long distance conversations that something had shifted in Carrie’s life. Carrie kept many things close to the vest until she was ready to share them. Not that she was an unusually guarded person. Carrie didn’t hide her feelings. She simply was cautious about how she shared them. Ford was similar in that regard. He imagined that their inclination to think before speaking had been born from growing up in a house where the opposite approach to living prevailed.

  “Are you going to make me guess?” he teased.

  Carrie laughed. “No.” She put her hands behind her head. Ford stretched out beside her and waited. “I met someone.”

  “Devon?” he guessed.

  “Devon,” she confirmed.

  Carrie had told Ford a bit about Devon. She and Devon spent as much time together as their hectic schedules allowed. Ford had called more than once when Carrie had been with Devon. Carrie had no desire to hide anything from her brother. Ford was aware that Carrie dated now and again. No one had seemed to capture his sister’s interest in a long time. Carrie would tell Ford that she had a date. She’d even shared a few of her more adventurous escapades with him over the years. It seemed to Ford that to win his sister’s heart presented a challenge. He imagined that was because to capture her heart; a woman would need to capture Carrie’s imagination. That would require someone with considerable intellect who understood Carrie’s sometimes unique brand of humor.

  “So?” Ford asked.

  “That is an extremely insightful question,” Carrie quipped.

  “What? How about this—does she make the force shake?” Ford asked.

  Carrie laughed. “Yes, but not in the way you meant.”

  “Come again?” he asked.

  “I hope to one day,” Carrie deadpanned. “When I am not alone, that is.”

  One beat passed, and Ford burst out in laughter. He was certain that most people would not believe the things that could come out of his sister’s mouth. Carrie was the funniest person Ford knew, and they came from a family of self-proclaimed comedians.

  “We haven’t slept together,” Carrie explained.

  “Really?”

  Carrie turned to her brother. “What do you think I am?”

  “Right now? Horny,” Ford said.

  Carrie stared at her him for a second and then laughed. “Guilty.”

  “So?”

  “Honestly, Ford, these questions of yours are so intrusive.”

  “Shut up,” he bumped her. “Are you in love with her?” he asked.

  Carrie didn’t miss a beat. “Completely.”

  “Does she know?”

  Carrie sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “You haven’t told her,” he guessed.

  “Nope.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m not sure I can answer that.”

  “Scared?”

  “No.”

  Ford looked at Carrie curiously.

  “I’m not,” Carrie said flatly. “Well, not to tell her, if that’s what you mean.”

  “What’s holding you back?”

  Carrie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Ford… It’s…. Dev is… I just can’t see myself…”

  “Without her,” he guessed.

  “Exactly.”

  Ford understood. He had met his wife, Donna in college. She’d walked into his dorm and he had never looked back. It had taken Carrie longer. “Does she love you?”

  “I think so.” A smiled edged its way onto Carrie’s lips.

  “So, why don’t you tell her?”

  “I almost did before I left,” Carrie said. “In fact, I almost didn’t leave.”

  “Why did you?”

  “Because I love you too,” Carrie replied. “And, I missed you.”

  Ford nodded. “You could have brought her, you know?”

  Carrie laughed. “Are you insane?”

  “Why not?”

  “Besides the fact that there is no way she could have left her work right now?”

  “Yeah, besides that.”

  “I’d like to keep her around,” Carrie chuckled.

  “Think we’d scare her off?” Ford asked lightly.

  “Let’s just say that I’d like to complete her training before Mom and Dad try and initiate her into the dark side.”

  “Can’t say I blame you on that one. Does she know she’s walking into a galaxy far, far, away?”

  “She knows. Almost all of it,” Carrie snickered. “Even the name thing.”

  Ford started laughing.

  “What?” Carrie asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Oh, no. No way. What is going on in that little brain of yours?”

  Ford smirked. “I’m just wondering if she’ll prefer the princess or the general.”

  Carrie shook her head. “She’s not the kind to take orders.”

  “Then you really have met your match,” Ford replied.

  Carrie smiled. “I hope so.”

  ***

  “Busy?” Carrie asked when Devon answered her phone.

  “Not really,” Devon replied. That was a lie. Devon had been running around all week. The onslaught of people spending the holidays at home, seeking to visit with old friends had packed the restaurant and bar all week. It was seven-thirty and there were still two more hours filled with reservations in the dining room. The bar was standing room only, and Devon imagined she and Bruce would be kicking people out at closing time.

  Devon was grateful for the frenetic pace. It had helped her to keep her mind off Carrie. At least, it had diverted her from wallowing in self-pity. Foolish and juvenile. That is what Devon thought when she slowed down. She was pining like a teenager in love. In love. There were those words again. They had been on the tip of her tongue the night before Carrie left. Devon had forced them into submission. Banishing the emotion that drove them to the surface was a fruitless, pointless endeavor. Devon wouldn’t even bother to try.

  Carrie had been gone for over a week. That was not a lifetime. Both she and Carrie traveled frequently. It was not the first time they had been apart and it would hardly be the last. It felt different this time to Devon. She was struggling to stay focused at work. She missed Carrie, and she still had to wait another five days for Carrie’s return. Devon had found herself fantasizing about what it would be like to spend the holidays with Carrie. Fantasizing about Carrie was not unusual. The unusual part is where those daydreams took Devon.

  Devon had taken a break earlier that day and allowed herself to indulge in a few moments of quiet. After closing her eyes, the first image to appear had been Carrie. Devon followed Carrie to Carrie’s living room. They sat in front of the Christmas tree sharing a glass of wine. Devon took the wine out of Carrie’s hand and kissed her passionately. She made love to Carrie slowly and attentively. The fireplace was roaring behind them. The lights of the tree were twinkling above them. Devon hadn’t wanted the dream to end. She had forced herself to shelve her fantasy and return to work. Images from that momentary escape had been flooding her thoughts all day at inopportune moments.

  She hadn’t expected to hear from Carrie until Christmas. Carrie’s family had a large party every Christmas Eve. Carrie had told Devon that it began with her parents and brother in the morning. Later, the extended family would filter in. It was the main event of the year, and the festivities ran into the wee hours. Some people headed to midnight mass. The Maynard’s were lucky to be done singing around the piano by two or three a.m. Devon realized that Carrie would have had to make a carefully planned escape to find a moment to call.

  “How drunk are you?” Devon teased Carrie. She could hear a slight slur in Carrie’s speech.

  “On my way,” Carrie confessed. She was. She had started with mimosas before lunch and had gravitated to sipping wine afterward. Carrie was sure that the alcohol was responsible for her finding the courage to hibernate in her parents’ master bathroom so she could call Devon. Ford had been a willing accomplice. Carrie knew that they would both undergo an intense interrogation if her mother discovered their scheme.

  Devon chuckled. “How’s the party?”

 

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