Shadow of the Son, page 10
19
I dialed Bruni’s office, and the receptionist put me through directly.
“There you are, Percy. I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too. Some news. Our seeing each other will have to wait until Friday.”
“Elaborate on that.”
Bruni, I noticed, tended to shorten her sentences when she wasn’t pleased.
“It’s a bit of a long story.”
“Give me the short version.”
“Very well. John Sr. told me yesterday afternoon that my father wants to physically see the treasures before he pays. In response, your father has postponed his contribution until mine does. The delay means that the maintenance trust is short 1.5 million dollars. To hammer out the kinks and complete the transactions, you and I have the honor of hosting a formal weekend party for both of them and at least six other houseguests starting tomorrow. I’m still at Rhinebeck working on that, hence the change in plan.”
“Am I correct in understanding that your father is coming to Rhinebeck?”
“You are correct.”
“We’re hosting him?”
“Right again.”
“I must say that’s unexpected. Who are the other guests?”
“The same crew as the other weekend with the exception of the tall man, Malcolm Ault, but that is subject to change, as is usual in his case, and perhaps my mother.”
There was a pause. I could almost hear her mind turning over.
“Your mother might be arriving?”
“Yes, it’s only a possibility for now, but she might. Would you like to meet her?”
“Absolutely I would, but I have a question. Are your father and mother even on speaking terms?”
“They haven’t spoken in years, as far as I know, so probably not. Then again, she and I haven’t seen each other for a number as well, so I can’t really say.”
“Well, that should be an interesting meeting—almost as interesting as the one between your mother, my mother, and my father.”
“Good heavens! I didn’t even think of that. That could be cataclysmic. What should I do?”
“Nothing for now. You did say it was only a possibility, so it may not be an issue. I much prefer solving problems that do exist, rather than ones that might. It saves a great deal of unnecessary wear and tear. Besides, whether your mother arrives or not, this weekend is bound to be contentious, as is often the case when there are divergent interests and large sums of money involved.”
“I think that’s true. If she should show up, we’ll handle it then. So, are you up for hosting a contentious bash?”
“One last question, will there be black-tie and white-tie dinners?”
“Yes, that’s the idea. Both, in fact.”
“Then I’m most definitely up for it. I have a new formal dress that I’m dying to wear. It’s a little risqué, but you’re going to love it.”
“Hopefully, not too risqué,” I said.
“Don’t be a prude. You’re concerned about my seeing your father again?”
“That did cross my mind.”
“I bet it did. What about you? Are you prepared?”
“I’m working on it,” I said.
“That’s good. Having heard who else will be there, I feel better about meeting him again. Any potential awkwardness should be overshadowed by the reactions from others. Still, seeing him will require some courage on both our parts. Let’s discuss what to do in more detail when we’re together. All in all, I’d say it should be quite the weekend, and that’s without Papa wanting to boil you in oil for standing him up. How are you planning to handle that?”
“Johnny is going to see him in my stead. I gave him carte blanche to explore the wine cellar.”
Bruni paused. “That might actually work. I like it. Ready for a surprise?”
“In your case, always.”
“Music to my ears. Now, I’ve been highly productive over the last twenty-four hours and managed to clear my desk for the next several days. I have that meeting later this morning, but other than that I’m free. I can drive up this afternoon, and we can spend all of tonight whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears. How does that sound?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Wonderful?”
“Stupendous.”
“Stupendous sounds about right. See you this afternoon. I have to run to this meeting. Love you. ’Bye.”
Bruni hung up, and as she did, I realized that I’d forgotten to tell her to bring my suitcases. I called back to leave a message at reception to not only bring my suitcases, but to pack a few herself. We had a lot to discuss, but simply talking to her had my heart beating faster.
20
Pleased that Bruni was coming up tonight rather than tomorrow, I went looking for Stanley. I found him in his office.
“Is now a good time to talk?” I asked.
“It is. Please sit down and tell me how I can be of service.”
“There are several matters on my mind, not the least of which is that we have numerous guests arriving tomorrow, but before I forget, Brunhilde will be arriving this afternoon rather than tomorrow. There will be four for dinner tonight.”
“I will inform Dagmar. Dinner will be at nine, and if I may be so bold, having your fiancée present will add that extra sparkle that will more than compensate for missing an evening at the 21 Club. It will also allow you the opportunity to discuss those other matters.”
“The death of the second nanny being one of them.”
“Considering that you are engaged to be married, I should think that a frank discussion about that would be more than prudent, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course, but I’m not looking forward to it.”
Stanley nodded. “Beginnings are often difficult. Every pair of newlyweds brings into their marriage their histories, their assumptions, and their flaws. Those who can untangle the knots they’ve made as individuals and use the loosened strands to weave something new together have a chance. Those who can’t, find themselves eventually untethered and alone. It is something you will need to think on. Her ladyship was competent in many things but ineffectual in this respect, and it cost her dearly. Dagmar and I had a rough start as well, but we managed in the end. What happened and why might be instructive, should you wish to hear it.”
“I would, very much.”
“I married Dagmar as a solution to my loneliness when her ladyship was absent. Her ladyship may not have been overjoyed that I was marrying Dagmar in the first place, but over time she saw the wisdom of it and grew to appreciate the excellence of Dagmar’s many arts. Working in her kitchen, my wife thrived in ways that astounded me. Shortly after our marriage, she transformed from a simple, wonderful, and talented cook into something much more. I, of course, asked about the changes I observed. She told me that she had found her place in the world at last and was free to be herself. And it was true. Everything Dagmar did, everything she learned, and everything she experienced formed a pattern that, when observed as a whole, was far greater and more powerful than anything I had anticipated. The changes took some getting used to, and I was ill-prepared mentally to accept her, not just as an equal, but in many ways as my superior. She was far more intelligent and perceptive than I’d first thought, and I grew resentful.
“The reasons for my resentment at the time might be laid partly at the doorstep of the masculine culture in which I grew up. It tended to view women as subservient and inferior to men. Her ladyship rather quickly disabused me of any such notion, but that was more in the general sense than in the specific. Living with Dagmar as my wife on a daily basis was something altogether different. I have come to accept that neither sex is the superior. Apart, male and female are less; together they are more, but such a harmonious view was mine in the future, not then.
“To be frank, Dagmar baffled me. It was as if I had married a royal personage masquerading as a scullery maid, while I remained a mere servant, even if a senior one. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow. The teacher, if that is what I was, had become the student, and I grew jealous. Even her ladyship would comment that there was greatness and a genius in Dagmar that was truly something to behold.
“Along with my jealousy, there grew a further friction in our marriage. As I mentioned previously, I was enchanted by her ladyship from my first meeting. This affection I held hidden in my heart. It is difficult to play second fiddle to another when it comes to marriage. I loved Dagmar, and would do anything for her, but the status that her ladyship held in my eyes, and the image I had constructed of her in my mind, were ones that none could surpass. Dagmar perhaps sensed this initially, but over time, its presence grew and affected our relationship as if a ripening corpse had been stashed in our bedroom closet. Eventually, the incongruity of my feelings could no longer be ignored.
“One evening at the end of our day, I had put her ladyship to bed and entered the kitchen. I took one look at my wife and knew that there were matters to be discussed. I also suspected what was foremost in her mind, and in this I was correct. Dagmar waited until I was seated and didn’t mince words.
“ ‘There can be only one’ she said after I had seated myself. The silence following this announcement stretched to an almost unbearable length. She added quietly, ‘You must choose.’
“ ‘I replied, ‘Between whom?’
“ ‘Don’t act the fool with me,’ she said. ‘You’re better than that. It may be hard, but it is necessary, if we are to continue together.’
“I stared at her. I didn’t know what to say. After some moments I blurted out resentfully, ‘How am I to do that? Do not ask me to do what I cannot. I brought you here. I married you. It was I who did these things, and I was able to because her ladyship supported my decision and allowed it. I have done nothing untoward, and you should believe that. You owe me that much, at least.’ ”
“ ‘So you say, and it is true as far as it goes, but not entirely. In addition, you are jealous of who and what I am. For my part, her ladyship holds your heart in ways that I cannot, and I am jealous of that. My resentment toward you is growing. As things stand there can only be tragedy before us. If you cannot see that outcome, then you are blind, and that is something you are not. I must cease to be jealous of her ladyship, and you must cease to be jealous of me, or we are finished.’
“In a few words Dagmar had spelled out the situation before us, and in such a way that it left me no doubt that we were almost on the rocks, if not there already. It was a shock, and as I examined my culpability, I saw in myself a selfishness that was patently obvious, even to me. I had married Dagmar as a solution to the problem of my loneliness. Logically, this had merit, but only in one direction. I had not factored my wife’s point of view into my solution, only my own. Such behavior was shameful. But what should I have done instead? It had not been my intention to hurt my wife, yet I had, and I had fooled myself into thinking that how I felt about her didn’t matter, when it did. On the other hand, I couldn’t simply stop loving her ladyship. That I could never do, but I considered that perhaps I could love Dagmar in such a way that she might be satisfied sufficiently to put aside her jealousy. It was a possible solution, only I didn’t know how that might come about.
“Dagmar saw the impact of her words and my remorse but made no move to reconcile with me. I knew I had to be the one to acknowledge my error and tell her so. I took her hand in mine and said, ‘I have made a grave mistake—not in marrying you, but in being unable to take our relationship to a level where rivalry can no longer be an issue. I would do that if I knew how, but I do not. I can only promise to find out. I, too, am jealous. You are so different from what I had expected. I feel hopelessly outclassed by you. I have tried to keep up, but it’s as if I’m standing still. If there is a remedy that I could apply, or one that you could suggest, I would take it, only I don’t know that, either. I feel ignorant and unwise. I am heartily, heartily sorry.’
“Dagmar took her other hand and placed it on my own. She thanked me for acknowledging the truth in what she’d said and added the following: ‘You’re not entirely the one at fault. I, too have made a grave mistake, and I am uncertain which of ours is worse. I have withheld from you some aspects of my past. I have also deliberately made you feel small and insignificant out of spite and resentment for what you couldn’t give, and for what I couldn’t have. I, too, am heartily sorry for it. Now is the time to let our errors go and begin anew. I have a possible remedy for both our issues that I will share with you. Are you willing to attempt it?’
“I told her that I was. She got up from the table and came back with two small glasses of dark liquid. She said, ‘Drink this, and I will do the same.’
“ ‘What is it?’ I asked, examining it with some distaste.
“ ‘It won’t kill you, if that’s what you’re thinking,’ she said.
“I wasn’t thinking that specifically, but whatever it was it looked particularly unappetizing, like prune juice or some such variant. I answered her by saying, ‘I should hope not, but I sense it is more than a drink.’
“ ‘It is. You wish to take our relationship to a level where rivalry can no longer be an issue. I would like to do that as much as you, but before I get to more specifics about what it is, you should know some things about me.’
“ ‘Such as?’ I answered.
“ ‘Before I decided to become a cook, I studied biochemistry as it applied to plants, pharmacology, and food. I did research. I never told you, when perhaps I should have. Most people, looking at me, see only what they choose to, and that is a plain and simple woman, a cook. It is what I prefer. I could have remained in that other field and done well. The lab I worked for wanted me to stay and offered me all kinds of inducements, even heading my own team, but I refused. Working there was not my idea of where I wished to end up. I love to cook. It is my passion, and I much preferred my own workspace where I could accomplish almost as much. Besides, the results would be my own, not some corporation’s. It was the choice I made.’
“ ‘You’re not just a cook then?’ I asked.
“ ‘I am a cook, and much more,’ she said.
“Her revelation surprised me, but then it didn’t. It just made sense. Dagmar continued, ‘Getting a job as a cook wasn’t difficult, and I was very good to begin with. Employers don’t ask about your past. They only require references from previous employers, and those are easy to obtain, if you know what you’re doing. Cooks are considered lesser souls in houses like this. They do necessary yet menial tasks. No one looks twice at them, is this not so?’
“ ‘It is to some degree, but why didn’t you tell me?’
“ ‘Would you have hired me, knowing I had been a research scientist? Would you have married me if you had thought that I was smarter than you?’
“Dagmar had put her finger on it exactly. She was correct, and I admitted it.
“Dagmar nodded then and took my hand in both of hers. She told me that my honest answer was why she had married me in the first place. She also said that her ladyship had lent her and then allowed her access to various books in her libraries that specialized in plants, fungi, mushrooms, and other unusual substances. Her ladyship also needed help in titration, distillation, fermentation, and the preparation of various complex organic compounds, Dagmar knew exactly what to do. It was her field after all.”
“Good heavens, I said. “So, Dagmar helped Alice with her research?”
“Yes, she did, and her ladyship provided Dagmar with physical specimens and exotic knowledge from the field in the form of the exact procedures various indigenous people used, such as what was mixed together with what, and how various medicines, potions, and compresses were prepared. Much of Dagmar’s research is stored within the special library with a blue tag.”
“You know, that does make sense, Stanley, and explains a few things for me as well.”
“How so?”
“I remember when Johnny and I had to wrestle with algebra. Dagmar would be able to show us how to answer certain problems, and how they worked, with only a glance. We tried to get her to do some of our homework, but she refused and would throw us out of the kitchen. She told us she was only to be used as a last resort. After several ejections, we got the message. She even helped us with solutions to a few perplexing differential equations in later years but swore us to secrecy.”
“That would be typical of her. She helped me arrange the library and pointed me in the right direction when I had questions, but anything more, she insisted I discover for myself. She is a firm believer in personal study. After she told me about her past in more detail, she said that she had discovered a very old grimoire which belonged to her ladyship’s mother that made reference to a much older source that described a particular marriage ceremony. The couple would share a specially prepared drink, whose purpose was to create an unshakeable bond between them. Dagmar indicated that the drink before us was only an approximation of that ancient recipe, since some of the ingredients were unknown and had become lost along the way. Still, she had sufficient expertise to assure me that it would produce a similar result. It was to be taken before the marriage was consummated.”
“Really? Did it work?”
Stanley smiled. “It did indeed, and I will spare you any details.”
“I suppose that’s just as well. I might ask Dagmar for a drop, should I need it.”
“I would use it only as a last resort. Like the potion you consumed last night, such remedies can have unanticipated results. In our case, it was a calculated risk. Both of us wished to preserve our marriage at any cost, and so we drank the drinks that she prepared.
“Afterward, Dagmar confided to me that the essence of the male is to vanquish through action, and that it is the essence of the female to defend by not losing. The trick is to find the proper balance between the two, something that every individual, every couple, and perhaps all things must discover for themselves. Dagmar and I found that center, and after that evening, I never looked at her the same way. I saw not only a splendid being but a powerful and sensual woman of extraordinary intelligence and understanding whom I’d overlooked and underappreciated. She needed my love to sustain her as much as I needed hers. It was a revelation, and my life shifted irreversibly in a better direction from that moment. The love between us has continued to grow since then to previously unimagined heights, and the trust between us with it. Like a ring, it has no end. It is what happened to us. I hope my words have been helpful and that you might learn from my experience.”
