The Seeker's Return, page 3
“You know what? Never mind,” I said. “Fine. Sort through your issues. We have a lot on our plate anyway with us talking to Russell and maybe we should just focus on that.”
“Alice -“
“It’s fine,” I snapped.
The rest of the car ride was silent. I didn’t like the tension that accumulated between us. Sure, we had experienced moments of awkwardness but there was never any anger in it.
By the time we reached the manor, I was ready to go back home and actually drink some of the tea Peter constantly offered me and I rarely took. My nerves were frazzled, trying to keep everything in because the last thing I wanted was to fight with my boyfriend, especially since I knew he was going through something.
But so was I!
Why wasn’t finding out I was half-fae, the Mad Mage was probably my father, and killing Geoffrey Hunter in the same night worthy of some kind of sympathy from Rumple? He wasn’t normally like this. And I wished I understood where this was coming from, so I could be more sympathetic to him.
As it was, we were both on the same tight rope on opposite ends. I blew in a breath, then another, waiting for Rumple to get out of the car. When I heard the passenger door shut, I dusted off my hands and headed to the front door. I didn’t even bother to look at him. I knocked, feeling him sidle up to my side. He was careful not to touch me, and for some reason, that bothered me even more than it should have.
I bit my bottom lip so hard, I tasted blood. I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to snap at him in so many ways. But I didn’t want to be that girl. I didn’t want to fight with him over this.
“You’re stiffer than a Fae male on the night of the harvest moon,” Rumple said. “What’s gotten you so -“
The door opened at that moment, cutting Rumple off. I was ready to throw my arms around whoever decided to answer because I knew his question would only set me off, and I did not want to fight with him on the Charmings’ front doorstep.
Except, it was Stephen Charming.
His gaze found me first. A torrent of emotions crossed over his face. Anger, bitterness, resentment, but also curiosity and concern.
I couldn’t exactly blame him. Despite the fact that we were on completely different ends of the popularity totem pole in Wonderland, Stephen and I had been through a surprising amount together. Besides the fact that the two of us fought against his younger brother who was attacking us with ShadowMagic, I helped Ella Byrne - his secret girlfriend - find out that Stephen’s younger brother was also responsible for her rape. Tom Charming was arrested and was currently rotting away in Neverland Penitentiary. His mother, Sabrina, would soon join him, except she’d be regulated to the female side of the prison. He didn’t know yet about Rory Rose being his half-sister or that his father had multiple affairs, and I didn’t feel it was my place to tell him even though I felt he had a right to know.
I just didn’t think he’d appreciate it coming from me.
“What are you -”
“We need to speak to your father,” Rumple interjected, his tone firm.
Stephen opened his mouth, ready to argue, until his blue eyes rested on Rumple and Stephen realized just who Rumple was. Not even the most popular bachelor in all of Wonderland would argue with The Imp. Rumple had a reputation. I wasn’t sure if it was because people knew he was prince to the Fae realm or if rumors about his power and his danger ran rampant. Whatever it was, Stephen locked his jaw. He stared at Rumple for a moment, two, then turned back to me.
“He’s in the den,” he said, stepping aside.
I murmured a thanks but I doubted Stephen heard it. He seemed too focused on Rumple. I wasn’t sure if it also stemmed from the fact that he was pissed at his mother’s arrest. Perhaps Russell was taking his frustrations out on Stephen. I had no idea what sort of relationship they had and any sort of speculation led me in circles.
It wasn’t my business anyway.
I followed Rumple through the manor. I should be more concerned that Rumple seemed to know exactly where things were in the place, but I wasn’t stupid. Rumple had been here before, whether it was because he was working out details with Sabrina about keeping Mary Stone’s death secret or because he was meeting up with Russell for something that might have related to Pan or not.
We headed down the hallway and Rumple came to a stop in front of the double doors in the middle of the wall on the right side. We passed pictures on the way, the majority of them of Stephen and Stephen alone. Tom Charming, Stephen’s younger brother, didn’t even exist in this little world. I doubted this set up changed, even after Tom was arrested. I didn’t agree with anything that Tom had done - he was a monster and nothing could justify what he had done - but I understood his deep-seated hatred against his parents. Even when he was still good, he was treated like a nothing, an afterthought, an obligation.
But my sympathies weren’t so quick to follow him. He was still a rapist. He still tried to kill me with ShadowMagic. He was a dick and he could rot away in Neverland for all I cared.
Rumple didn’t even bother to knock as we made our way into the den. He opened the door, standing aside so he could hold it open for me before following and shutting the door behind us.
“What in the devil?” Russell said, dropping his pen and standing up. He leaned against the surface of his desk, eyes narrowed at the two of us. “And what do you think you’re doing in my home uninvited?”
“We’ve come to have a chat,” Rumple said. “Surely, you’re aware of what’s going on with your wife, so before we get into the details, I want you to realize that the Charming name isn’t above the law.”
Russell clenched his teeth together, shifting his gaze over to me. I wasn’t sure why he glared this way at me. It wasn’t like it was my fault his wife was arrested, unless he blamed me for what my father had done.
“I have nothing to say to either of you about my wife’s involvement with what happened to Mary Stone,” Russell said. It was a line clearly rehearsed, probably fed to him by his attorney.
“What about your involvement with Anna?” I asked before I could stop myself. I stepped forward. I didn’t know where my boldness came from. Part of me knew I had magic, magic that had killed, which meant I was more than capable of protecting myself. Another part of me knew that despite the tension between me and Rumple, I knew he would protect me no matter what. I just could not let my boldness turn into recklessness, especially not with Russell Charming. He was a snake and would look for any way to get back at me if he could. “I know you were having an affair. I know you had one with Mary Stone. Did you love her the way you loved Mary? Was she someone you treasured?”
“Anna Skaarsgard, a treasure?” Russell did nothing to hide the disdain from his voice. His lips tugged over his teeth, nose wrinkled. “Anna was little more than the Red Queen’s pathetic assistant, getting coffee orders wrong and fucking up the schedule. I met her because of my partnership with the Red Queen, typing away on her phone instead of answering the Red Queen’s. She was an idiot, and mediocre in the bedroom.”
With each insulting slur, my anger grew. My magic sprang from its confines, winding down my arms and slithering across my knuckles, waiting for my orders. I knew I could strike Russell and he would not even know it. I also knew I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to risk hurting someone else and finding I liked it as well.
“I take it then you didn’t care much that she was murdered?” Rumple asked. “You did pay Beast off, after all. Why is that?”
I blinked. How could I have forgotten that the Charmings paid Beast a large sum of money just before he confessed? I was distracted. This wasn’t like me.
I looked over at Russell, waiting for his response. I only hoped I wouldn’t be so foolish as to forget what he said this time.
4
“What is your problem?”
The words burst out of me before I could stop them, the second we were securely tucked away in the safety of my car. It felt eerily reminiscent of when we were heading to Neverland Penitentiary to talk to Tom Charming, when we discovered the truth of the Blood Forest and the wolves.
Well, I discovered the truth.
Rumple already knew. Rumple knew a lot of things. Things I didn’t. Things he wasn’t telling me.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, casting a long glance from the passenger seat at me. “And, darling, don’t watch your tone. I don’t appreciate being addressed thusly.”
I clenched my teeth together. He didn’t like being spoken to in this way? He had a lot of nerve even mentioning that in the first place. How dare he?
I wanted to yell. I wanted to snap. I was ready to jump into a fight and Rumple was the perfect target because I knew he was keeping something from me, but I didn’t know what. And it bothered me that he wasn’t telling me. Granted, I knew he really hadn’t had the opportunity to do so just yet. We hadn’t been alone at all since his return of wherever he went. Up until now.
“Listen,” I said through clenched teeth. I gripped the wheel tighter, channeling my frustration there instead of the Imp in my passenger seat. “I don’t want to fight. I shouldn't have attacked you the way I did. I just…you’re not acting like yourself, and I’m concerned.”
“You’re concerned?” Rumple arched a brow, fiddling with his gold cufflink. “Why?”
“Are you kidding me?” I came to a red light and nearly slammed on the breaks. “You don’t think you’ve been acting strangely the past few hours? That whole nonsense with my father? What’s going on with you? And don’t say nothing. Surely you know I know you way better than that. I know you wouldn’t treat me like a fool.”
“A fool?” Rumple asked. The edge was still in his tone, something I didn’t appreciate.
“Stop deflecting,” I growled. I all but slammed my foot on the gas, causing the wheels to screech against the pavement. The force had both Rumple and I jolting against our seatbelts. I winced, sure I would bruise. “Stop distracting me. Stop repeating words and turning them into questions. Just stop.” I pulled over in a deserted parking lot and turned off the car. I didn’t trust myself to drive when I was still clearly agitated. “Please, Rumple. Tell me what’s going on. You can trust me.”
And suddenly, the edges surrounding him instantly evaporated. He let out a breath, staring at me for a long moment, almost as though he didn’t believe he really could trust me but he wanted to.
Badly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You’re not wrong, you know. I did not mean to leave you…well, I did. But I had no intention of abandoning you. I would never…” He shook his head. “I do not wish you to think thusly of me. Regardless of my frustration and confusion, I would never do such a thing. Not to you.”
I swallowed. I couldn’t remove my gaze from him if I tried. There was an intensity about him, one that crept around his truth, only enhancing it.
“The truth is, I was worried you might have been involved in the disappearance of my younger sister,” he said.
I blanched. My heart echoed in my head.
“Wait,” I said slowly. “You thought…you thought I was your long-lost sister? Pan already said -“
“Sister? You? Good Lord, no!” He sneered, though I knew he wasn’t disgusted with my stupidity. “No. Rapunzel has been gone for five years. You’ve been around much longer than five years, darling. No. Plus, I would recognize your magic if you were. You are not my sister. But I thought your heritage might relate to her disappearance, and I left in order to see if that was true. I did not think about you, that you might need me, and for that oversight, I am deeply regretful.” He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “You must know I would never want that.”
“I know.” And I did. I trusted Rumple’s feelings for me. I knew he wanted what was best for us as a couple and me as an individual. But that didn’t mean he could just leave without talking to me, without acknowledging what I might be feeling in that moment. “I know that. But…”
“But I still hurt you,” he finished.
I nodded, wincing. “I don’t want to be one of those girls,” I said tentatively. “I’m not, I don’t want you to think I’m making this about me because I’m not. And I respect you have a lot on your plate outside of me, whether it’s the whole crack in the Never Glass and your sister and even Sadie.” He flinched when I said Sadie’s name and I tried to ignore it. I knew a lot of people thought they were entangled in some kind of sordid affair. I knew it wasn’t the case, but it still bothered me nonetheless. Which I hated. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m here if you want to talk to me.”
“I do,” he said. “I know that. And I want to talk to you. I just…sometimes, I need a moment. It has nothing to do with you.”
I nodded, letting his words sink in. I could accept that. That was fair.
“So?” I prodded gently. “What happened? You said you figured out the Mad Mage gave me to my father that night after discovering whatever it was you discovered tonight. What was that?”
“Sadie,” Rumple said. “I found Sadie.”
My eyes went wide. My mouth went dry. “Sadie?” I managed to get out. I was surprised I could speak at all. “How…? Where…?”
“MaryBeth.” The name was bitter on his lips.
I furrowed my brow. “MaryBeth helped you find her?” I guessed, since a beat had passed and he remained silent.
“What?” He glanced over at me and shook his head. “No. MaryBeth is Sadie. Or, more accurately, Sadie is MaryBeth.”
I opened my mouth and then shut it. There was no way I could have heard him correctly. Instead of saying anything, I gave him a long look, hoping he understood what I was trying to convey.
He sighed. “Sadie and I…” He let his voice trail off. “We have a complicated relationship. I’ve always been fond of her. I tend to like things that are broken but unrelenting. Like you.”
I wrinkled my nose. That wasn’t exactly as romantic as he might think.
His lips curved up at my reaction as though he expected it.
“She felt much more strongly for me than I did of her,” he continued.
“So, you never…”
“No.” The word was firm, coming out of his mouth, leaving no room for argument.
I didn’t know how important hearing that was to me until I sighed in relief. I thought… Everyone told me… And it wasn’t my place to know. It wasn’t any of my business. But to know that he never loved her filled me with an unmistakable sense of relief, and I couldn’t stop my muscles from relaxing even if I wanted to.
I wasn’t sure if that made me a terrible person, since this came at the expense of someone I cared for. I liked Sadie. I didn’t know her well, but Anna adored her and I adored Anna, and if Anna thought she was worthy of being adored, then I did too.
“Never,” he added, emphasizing his point. He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know a lot of people think otherwise, but I assure you, my heart belongs solely to you.”
I swallowed, though it did nothing for my dry throat. I wanted to look away, to pretend nothing he said mattered, but it did. I never thought I could be this romantic, but apparently, I was. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
“Who am I?” I croaked out instead. I looked down at my hands, trying to see if I could find the answers there. If I could read the lines in my palm, maybe that would help explain some things.
“You’re Alice,” Rumple said, taking my hands in his. He brought them up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles, my wrist. He said it as though it was obvious, as though this was everything I needed to know. “Remember? We’ve discussed this before. After seeing Tom Charming. You’re Alice.”
“That’s a name, sure,” I said, lifting a shoulder. I didn’t want to pull away from him; his hands holding my own gave me a steadiness I wasn’t expecting. I needed to hold onto it, to keep it for myself in case things got more difficult. “But what am I, Rumple. Am I...am I this monster? Like my…”
I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t say that the Mad Mage was who he was to me. I had yet to actually wrap my head around it. I didn’t have the time. But now that we were discussing it, now that we were talking about it, I couldn’t deny it any longer. My father lied about a lot of things but I knew he would never lie about something as important as this.
“No wonder Tom freaked out that day,” I muttered. “He recognized my magic. He knew.”
“Do you think I am a monster?” he asked in a low voice. He kissed the gaps between my knuckles before trailing his lips down my pinky finger, kissing it at the very tip. “My parents fooled him into vacating his rightful place as king of the Fae realm. My mother insulted me and my brother. My father clipped off my wings ruthlessly, leaving me to rot in my room, bleeding out. My parents are...monsters. You? You are nothing like them.”
“But I killed someone, Rumple,” I said. “I don’t care how bad he was. I care that I liked it. I liked the feeling of killing him.” I tried to tug my hands back, tried to pull away from him so I could cover my face and hide myself from him and those knowing eyes.
But he refused to let me go. He clung tightly to them, kissing my ring finger the same way he did to my pinky.
“Stop,” I whispered. “Please.”
“No.” His eyes never left my own as he did the same thing to my middle finger and then my index finger. “Do you think you’re a monster simply because you killed a man who was going to rape you.”
“He wasn’t,” I said.
“Yes, but how do you know?” He kissed my thumb before moving to the next hand. “How do you know he wasn’t going to do it again? He almost did it to Belle. Why shouldn’t you feel glad that someone bad is never going to violate another innocent again? Why be ashamed of that power? You’ve always been considered human, unmagicked. You were regarded as little more than dirt beneath a shoe. The only reason they tolerated your presence was because of your father.”
“Are you telling me I should...I should be a monster?” I asked. It was difficult to focus when Rumple was kissing me like this.
