Making It Glitter, page 7
Blake sat next to me and frowned. “This might sound crazy, but I don’t want to be like everyone else. You’re probably right, and the reason we don’t have lots of stuff is because it didn’t make sense when we were growing up. But honestly, if me and my roommate, Sue, decide to live apart, she’s going to have a nightmare of a move. It would only take me a few minutes to pack, and my stuff would fit in the trunk of someone’s car. I prefer it this way."
Jesus. Blake had just arrived and the conversation was already getting heavy. It was a relief to talk to someone who understood what my life had been like, but I wanted this holiday to be fun. I handed him the remote, and stood. “Pick out something to watch while I get us some wine.”
When I returned with our glasses, the classic movie A Christmas Story was playing, and we settled next to each other and watched. Half an hour into the film, Blake’s head was on my upper arm while he softly snored.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I wake him up, or subtly move him off of me? I decided on the latter, but when I lifted my arm, Blake’s head moved forward and my arm was suddenly around his shoulders, pulling him in closer.
“What the hell?” I whispered, not knowing what to do. Guys falling asleep on me wasn’t an everyday occurrence. In fact, this was the first time.
I gazed at his face, framed by his brilliant red hair. His dark-brown eyelashes were surprisingly long, lying against the pale skin under his eyes. But what intrigued me was how peaceful he looked. When Blake was awake, he always had a hurried appearance, eyes darting around a room, as if he had to know where the nearest exit was. I recognized that, because I was guilty of doing it myself. It was also rare for me to be able to sleep anywhere else but my bed, where I felt safe.
One of the reasons I was tossed out of the army was because I couldn’t sleep in a barracks filled with dozens of strangers. I never felt safe, and it was the same when I lived in group homes. Even when I had my own room in a foster home, it always felt like I slept with one eye open. Constant exhaustion ruined you, making you unable to do the most mundane tasks, like drills, chores, or homework.
“Do you feel safe with me?” I murmured to Blake, then I shut my eyes. “I hope so, because you are becoming a real friend. My best friend, and I pray you feel the same way.”
twelve
Blake Awakens
The sound of horns seeped into my ears, and moments later I recognized the melody. It was the song “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” which was played at Santa’s Village non-stop.
“Damn it, now I’m dreaming about work.” I mumbled, then my eyes fluttered open. The closing credits of “A Christmas Story” were rolling down the screen of the massive television hanging on the wall. My head was leaning against a very firm pillow, but when I went to fluff it I realized it was Eddie’s arm.
“Shit,” I mouthed. What was I doing falling asleep on him? And why wasn’t he moving?
Slowly I sat up, then noticed Eddie’s breathing was slow, and steady. I glanced over to him and realized he was asleep too. This was bizarre, because I rarely was able to sleep with someone. Even if I was dating a guy, I always went home to sleep, because I’d toss and turn otherwise.
Eddie’s eyes were moving underneath his closed eyelids, and I realized that I could study Eddie up close without him knowing. His skin had golden undertones, and his dark hair had a hint of curl. When we’d first met it had been cut super-short, but now it had grown at least an inch. Like his eyes and skin, there were subtle gold highlights to his hair, mostly on top where the sun hit. But what I found most attractive were his regal, straight nose and full lips.
I placed my head softly on his chest and closed my eyes. That’s when I realized my cock was straining at the zipper. It was so hard, I wondered if an impression of the zipper would be permanently etched into the skin.
‘This is the only time you can do this. Make the best of it.’ I thought, and snuggled in closer to him. Eddie was totally out of my league, and though I wished we could take things further than friendship, I wasn’t naïve. Muscular dudes like Eddie preferred other muscular men. That was just a fact of life. I was more interested in getting to know him better.
Making friends wasn’t easy for me, and for some reason most of my friends were women. They were easier to get along with, because sexuality was not in the equation. Having another gay male friend would be wonderful, because they understood things a woman might not. I just had to get past this physical attraction I had for Eddie.
Sleeping on him wasn’t helping.
The sound of Tubular bells rang from the television, and when I opened my eyes I realized it must be an all day marathon of The Christmas Story. The opening credits rolled, my eyes shut, and within minutes the world faded away.
“What’s that around your neck?”
My eyes opened, and my fingers were wrapped around the love charm Twyla and Dev had given me. I sat up straight, then my arms went over my head as I yawned.
“Um, it’s just a necklace. Twyla and Dev gave it to me. I think it’s pretty, oh, and sorry if I fell asleep on you.” I murmured, and scooted over a few inches. “I barely ever watch television, because it makes me go to sleep.”
“I don’t watch a lot of it either. My roommate Diesel is addicted to those boring reality shows, like the Real Wives of Bumfuck Egypt, and Keeping Up With The Useless Kardashians.” Eddie winked, and I laughed.
“Your titles are much more accurate than the real thing. Hey, it’s dark outside. How long have we been asleep?” I asked. Eddie grabbed the remote and hit a button, then the time flashed across the screen.
“It’s almost six. Good Lord, we slept for three hours.” Eddie mumbled, and I heard the sound of his stomach growling. “Maybe we should eat something.”
I followed Eddie into the kitchen where he pulled all the containers I’d brought out of the fridge and placed them on the marble counter.
“Are we going to heat them up or eat it cold?” I asked.
“Microwave works fine for me.” Eddie replied, and he pulled two plates from an electric blue cabinet. “Utensils are right in front of you.”
I stepped back, opened a drawer and pulled out what we needed, then grabbed a plate and loaded it up. When I handed it to Eddie, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
“Hey, this might be Twyla or Dev.” I pulled out the phone, then it fell out of my fingers onto the counter. I spun it around, so I could see who was contacting me, and the blood drained from my face.
“What do they want?” Eddie asked as he put his plate in the microwave.
“Oh, it wasn’t them.”
Eddie didn’t say anything else, and an awkward silence filled the room. When the bell on the microwave pinged I jumped.
“Are you okay?” Eddie tilted his head.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Nobody you know. Just this guy I was kinda dating.” I mumbled. It had been a message from Carl, the first one I’d had from him since I’d seen him holding hands with my twink doppelganger.
“You never told me you were dating someone.” Eddie’s voice was flat, and when I glanced up his lips were pressed together in a straight line. Then he shook his head back and forth a couple of times and opened the microwave. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”
“Well, we aren’t dating anymore.” I sighed, then picked up the phone and read the message.
Happy Thanksgiving
The phone pinged in my hand, then it slipped out of my grasp and fell back to the counter, facing Eddie. He scowled, so I spun the phone around so I could read the message.
Wanna hang out?
I grabbed the phone and shoved it in my pocket.
“You can go be with him if you want.” Eddie mumbled. “I mean, if he’s your boyfriend or…”
“No, God no.” I grimaced. “I was out with Dev and Twyla a while back and saw him holding this dude’s hand. The little fucker looked just like me, except he was younger and thinner. No way am I going out with him again.”
A slow smile spread across Eddie’s cheeks. “That’s why I don’t date.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t trust anyone. You know what I’m talking about. We’ve seen the worst side of human nature, bouncing from one foster home to the next. Men cheating on their wives, hitting kids, women scamming the government. You name it, we’ve lived through it.” Eddie grabbed the other plate and stuck it in the microwave, slamming the door shut. “Why the hell would I volunteer to be abused?”
There were stools under the counter, so I pulled one out and sat. “You mean to tell me you’ve never dated anyone before?”
“Nope. Don’t plan on it either.” He grumbled. “Hell, I don’t even trust people enough to get laid.”
My mouth dropped open, and Eddie coughed.
“So, you’re a virgin? Aren’t you a little…” I began, and Eddie cut me off.
“No, Jesus.” Eddie combed his fingers through his hair. “It’s happened a few times. For God’s sake I live with a hustler.”
“You’ve fucked your roommate?” My voice went up a register, and Eddie burst into laughter.
“No, oh my God, no.” Eddie giggled. “I mean to say, I’ve been around the block a few times, and nothing surprises me anymore. Well,” Eddie swiped at his forehead with his hand. “I can’t believe I’m confessing this. I don’t understand what’s so damned important about sex. The few times I’ve done it left me cold. Like, what’s the point of risking your physical and mental health just to get off? I’d rather just take care of it myself.”
The microwave dinged, and he pulled the plate out. My heart sank, because even though I knew I had a next to zero chance of ever going out with Eddie, now he’d hammered home just how little interest he had in going out with anyone, period.
“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked, his hands gripping the counter in front of him. There was no way I could tell him the truth. And to be perfectly honest, if all we ever had together was friendship, that would be enough for me.
I think.
“Nothing.” I fingered the amulet through my shirt and forced myself to smile. “C’mon, let’s watch TV and eat. Maybe we’ll manage to stay awake this time.”
thirteen
Eddie’s Filthy Mind
“Damn it.” I groaned into the pillow as the sounds of a wolf pack howling woke me at 6 a.m. I’d programmed my phone for that sound to ensure I’d actually wake up and get out of bed. My hand automatically grabbed for the phone on my nightstand, but it slipped out of my fingers and fell to the floor.
“Fuck me.” I mumbled, opened my eyes, and leaned over the side of the bed and retrieved the phone. After shutting off the alarm, I shut my eyes and rolled over on my stomach. Morning wood was strong, and I reflexively ground my cock into the mattress and moaned.
“Just five more minutes.” I pushed down on my erection again, then my phone pinged. “Oh, God, what now?”
I sat up, swung my feet off the bed and picked up my cell. There was a message from Blake.
See you at the bus stop at seven
We killed two bottles of wine before he left last night, and I made him promise to text me to make sure I would wake up on time. I’d wanted him to spend the night on the couch, but he got all strange about it, insisting he go home instead. It baffled me, but he became oddly silent as the night progressed. At first I thought it was the wine, but he seemed sad somehow.
“Coffee, now.” I pushed myself off the bed and padded into the kitchen. Halfway there I realized with a start I was naked, and sporting a major boner. Then I remembered Diesel was out of town until Sunday. “I wonder how much he’s making for his four-day romp with a random rich guy. Bet it beats the hell out of being fucking Santa.”
The coffee was brewing already thanks to the timer, so I grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and filled it. Next to the coffee maker were a few random airplane-sized bottles of booze Diesel collected from hotel rooms. One of them was brandy, and I was tempted to spike my coffee with it. Hell, maybe I could keep a couple of them in Santa’s pocket in case it got crazy today.
“It’s Black Friday. Trust me, it’s gonna be insane.” I mumbled. “If Peppermint finds out, your ass is grass.”
I grabbed four of the bottles and padded to the bathroom and turned on the shower, giving it time for the water to get hot.
“I bet Blake will be happy to kill off one of these suckers.” I said, placing the bottles next to the sink. “Damn, I had the best time last night, even if Blake did get a little weird at the end. Maybe the short time we lived at the Messerschmitts together bonded us, kinda like real brothers?” I pulled back the shower curtain and stepped inside. The water was perfect, and moments later I was massaging shampoo into my scalp. After rinsing I began soaping up my body, and when I got to my still-hard dick I fisted it with a foamy hand and groaned.
“You don’t have time for this.” I muttered, but my body had other things in mind. Leaning against the shower wall I shut my eyes. “Make it quick.”
I worked my shaft with one hand while pinching a nipple with the other. In my head, random porn scenes played out, memories of videos I’d watched on my phone late at night when I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know what most other guys imagined when jerking off, but I was almost certain they didn’t imagine what I did.
It wasn’t the physical act that got me off, it was the expressions on guys' faces when they were coming. When I saw their eyes squeezed shut, and heard their moaning, my blood raced. And it wasn’t your typical porn actor I enjoyed either. I preferred real men, not guys who shaved every inch of body hair off, a guy you’d meet walking down any street.
“Think of that blond dude you saw last time.” My hand gripped my shaft tighter, and I felt the first rumble of an approaching orgasm. I imagined my cock pounding the hell out of him, with his arms straining to hold on as I fucked him within an inch of his life.
“Alright, dude, time to make you come.” I panted, my fist flying up and down my shaft. In my mind I reached down and took the guy's cock in hand. He whimpered my name, and the pressure under my balls intensified. “Fuck this, I gotta come now.”
Now it was time to imagine his face screaming my name while I hammered him. My eyes slowly worked up his trembling frame, his pale skin covered in a slick sheen of sweat.
“I’m gonna come!” The man yelled, his entire body shaking.
Jets of come sprayed from my cock when I imagined his face, slick with sweat underneath me. “Oh fuck.” I groaned, and one of my hands flew to the built-in plastic bar so I wouldn’t fall over. “Oh, Jesus, oh my God.” I panted, and once the last pulse of my orgasm faded away I sank to the floor of the shower and shut my eyes. The water was cooling down, and I began to shiver.
“Damn it.” I muttered, unable to believe what had just happened.
“Never again. You can’t ever imagine Blake like that again.”
fourteen
Blake’s Black Friday
The bus ride was dismal. At seven in the morning the only passengers were mall employees, and none of them were thrilled to be going to work on the busiest shopping day of the year. Eddie didn’t say much to me except good morning, and I could tell something was wrong, because he wouldn’t meet my gaze.
When we approached the movie theater, Peppermint greeted us, and as usual, she behaved like she’d downed two pots of coffee in less than an hour.
“Santa! Ginger Snickerdoodle! Are you ready to fulfill holiday fantasies?” She trilled, and I noticed she’d switched out the neon pink wig for an electric blue number.
“Yeah, sure,” grumbled Eddie.
“Can’t wait.”
“The reason I’m meeting you outside the theater is to let you know that from now on you’ll be changing into costume at the mall security locker room.” Peppermint’s pupils were dilated, and I wondered if she really was using drugs. “Let me show you where it is. Follow me!”
Peppermint skipped toward the mall offices, and I nearly began skipping too. Monkey see, monkey do, and all that. Resisting the urge, Eddie and I jogged behind her, and a moment later we were at the locker room door. Sugar Plum the wardrobe elf handed us our costumes.
“Both of you need to perk up! Sugar Plum arranged for coffee to be on hand all day long, so that shouldn’t be a problem. You’re so special, Sugar Plum!” Peppermint’s head quivered as her smile stretched from ear to ear. The left side of Sugar Plum’s lips lifted slightly, then they fell back into their usual flat line.
“Boys, you’ve got fifteen minutes before all the elves meet at Santa’s Village. Go on and get changed.” Peppermint shooed us into the locker room.
It was a small space, with twenty or so lockers. Four of the sourpuss elves were changing into costume, and none bothered to say hello. I wanted to point out that their attitude was holding them back. They were doomed to being greeter and usher elves while I got to work with Santa, but I had a feeling they didn’t give a damn.
I went to the first available locker, opened it, then sat down on the wooden bench in front of it to take off my sneakers. After removing them I glanced up and noticed Eddie was on the far side of the room, his back to me as he put on the Santa drag. Though I enjoyed the view of his muscular ass for the millisecond it was exposed, he pulled on the baggy red trousers in record time, eliminating my sole opportunity to gawk at him.
I unbuttoned my shirt and yanked it over my head. For a split second I couldn’t see anything, but when I got it off, I saw Eddie scowling in my direction, then glancing away when he saw me notice. What the hell was wrong with him today? He’d been mostly silent on the bus ride here, and now he was giving me dirty looks? I grabbed the love charm that was still hanging around my neck, and was tempted to tear it off.
