Morning Notes, page 8
248
Attacking back, even if only mentally, duplicates the original mistake.
As people go through the day, they can't help but teach. For instance, as we shop in a grocery store, we encounter individuals teaching consideration, impatience, good humor, preoccupation, self-importance, forbearance, irritation, and so on. If our mind is still, reading other people's attitudes is no more difficult than reading the individual mindsets of pets at an animal shelter. So no matter how much I would like to believe that I am keeping it to myself, for me to be judgmental teaches my faith in the value of making judgments, as does being dejected, cynical, fearful, and so on. Mind matters. It's impossible to engage in a high-minded counterattack.
249
No one can be judgmental without wanting to be.
This is my mind. If I didn't want to feel this way, I wouldn't. In trying to let go of a grievance, the question I must ask is, “Why do I want to judge my partner (my child, my friend, this stranger, that politician)?” Otherwise, I fall into the trap of trying to justify my feelings by reviewing and bolstering the case I have against them. I always have the choice of not adding fuel to the fire. Being a physical victim or a victim of circumstances may not be a choice, but being a mental victim always is.
250
“The easy way out” is to be mentally honest.
If I don't take responsibility for my attitude, my ego will simply play out its preprogrammed agenda. This would seem to be “less trouble,” but it isn't, because the ego's agenda always includes turmoil and struggle. Today I will notice how hard it is to be at odds with everything—to feel superior, to be jealous, to be a victim, to judge—in short, how hard it is to be mentally dishonest.
251
Do I suspect that what I am about to say will make this person unhappy? Then the urge to say it is from my ego.
I can change the nature of my contribution to the world I see, but I can't keep from contributing. Acknowledging the part I play in relationship difficulties is not “taking on guilt.” Feeling guilty is a for m of withdrawal. Whereas acknowledging that no matter how small it is, I contribute to any disturbance in a relationship, is a step toward joining. Trying to measure my part and compare it to the part played by the other person compounds the original mistake. All I need to know is that if I feel disturbed, I am in some way feeding the disturbance.
252
There are no limits on the effects of happiness.
Who really knows the effect of one happy thought? Certainly its impact on my immediate relationships is palpable. But is it also possible that it circles the globe, finding entry into any open heart, encouraging and giving hope in some unseen way? I am convinced it does. For whenever I am truly happy, I feel the warmth and presence of the like-minded, a growing family whose strength lies in their gentleness and whose message is in their treatment of others.
253
It's impossible to feel our connection with others and not be happy.
Happiness is inclusive. It's a myth that we can be happy by “besting” another person. Favorable circumstances and individual victories can be elating, but there is no peace. A guilty sorrow that we couldn't bring everyone with us seeps through the splintered hull of euphoria. Whereas love is a universal tide that lifts all ships equally.
254
It is good and right to be happy. It is also the only way I can be consistently kind to myself.
The psychology of our day emphasizes “empowering” the ego, protecting it with “boundaries,” and actively betraying others through “honest communication.” It makes the crucial mistake of assuming that it's possible to “first be kind to yourself,” in other words, to start giving to our self while “temporarily” with-holding from others. This would be possible only if we were not deeply connected, so deeply in fact that most sacred scriptures say we are one. Happiness is expansive and any persistent thought that we are not treating someone else as an equal under cuts its nature and reverses the experience.
255
I am free of the nature of the world, until I try to control it.
Is it possible to say, “Nothing will go right today?” and still be happy? It is, in fact, the essential first step. Because nothing will go right. Something will spill; certain people will be late; a thing needed will be lost, and then there's the neighbor's dog. Is there really any hope of eliminating forever all annoying smells, noises, poor workmanship, overpriced products, traffic snarls, and rudeness in stores? Not to mention disease, violence, and natural disaster. We have little chance of being happy if we pit ourselves against the basic nature of the world.
256
When the mind becomes as still as the divine, it becomes as happy as the divine.
As the song says, “You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to.” The key is having a mind to. Those who are determined to be happy cannot fail, because the divine, which surrounds and sustains us, is a great brilliance and an endless joy.
257
Peace rests on a foundation of understanding, and happiness is sheltered by a roof of tolerance.
Without the experience of connection with the people, the creatures, and other living things around us, we are left with the resources of a fragile body and a brain-dependent mind. As this separated self suffers the loss that time brings to all things, the tragedy of living without love should become increasingly apparent; yet our fear of equality blinds us to the obvious. The way back to sanity is usually traveled in baby steps, the first of which is our decision to be tolerant and understanding of at least one other living thing. From that commitment, the stirrings of an ancient peace are felt rising in the soul.
258
In every kind heart is a place of bliss.
There is a mental state that passes easily over the endless nonsense that deranges the day. Like a gentle breeze, it refreshes everything but disturbs nothing. It is happy just being itself. Having wholeness, it has wholeness to give.
259
Despite the world's shrill objection, simply being good is enough.
If I hold to the impossible ideal that a world of separate agendas can be perfected, my spiritual efforts are thwarted and my emotions deteriorate into cynicism. Hope in a better world is misplaced. But the hope that I can be a better person within the world is simply a matter of willingness.
260
How do I want to respond to what just happened?
The opposite of inner happiness is the state of mind that is constantly getting entangled and pulled down by almost everything that occurs. Containing no quiet core, it is vulnerable to confusion, fear, and loneliness. Each day presents a new and pointless obstacle course. Is this how I want to live? If it isn't, then let me remember these four magic words, “Don't take the bait.”
261
When the heart's preference is heard, there is no fear.
The heart always answers for the present and in the present. It will guide you from where you are and speak directly to what you are doing. The heart's preference never fills the mind with empty longings or pointless fears. Its voice is filled with stillness.
262
There isn't anyone who can't be treated kindly, because how I treat others is up to me, not up to them.
If tomorrow I find myself near death, how will I wish I had been today? Will I wish I had relaxed a little and enjoyed what could have been enjoyed? Will I wish I had been more understanding of my child, my partner, my friend? Will I wish I had paused in stillness and felt the breath of God?
263
Today I will not disregard my intuition of what this person wants from me.
The mind can be trained, yet in most instances my thoughts are so chaotic and vulnerable to events that I go through the day looking at everyone through a swirling fog of ambiguity. This blocks my intuition of what each person is at heart. Yet it is seeing the deep and often unspoken urges of the heart that allows me to connect and that makes me happy.
264
Life is lived in the pauses, not in the events.
Impatience wastes happiness. Sitting quietly in the hush of dawn, I hear the waking sounds of earth and see the shifts in light and shadow that my more hurried mind would miss. Action without stillness merely adds to the chaos of my life.
265
The joy within us is very still. It is not physically slow; it is simply at peace.
It's not uncommon to see a loving parent, grandparent, or even a teacher or child-care provider smiling and obviously at peace as little kids scream and run wildly around. Happiness doesn't require an accompanying picture. It requires connection.
266
Prejudging any situation blocks the possibility of being present.
Shakespeare writes, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” What a relief! Because as it turns out, we have virtually no control over outcomes, yet we have complete control over our thoughts. Yet as I go through the day, I am amazed at how many conditions and activities I have pegged as good or bad. Hair, good; baldness, bad. House cleaning bad; having my chores done, good. Being the family member who gets the flu, bad; being the one who doesn't, good. Driving around looking for a parking space, bad; finding one quickly, good. No wonder I have such difficulty sensing God in the situation.
267
What meaning do I wish to give this event, those words, that person?
Our thoughts coat the world. The world has surprisingly little effect on our happiness until it is coated with our thoughts and thereby assigned its meaning for us. Today I will distinguish between what I am seeing and the significance I am giving it.
268
Looking at my day dispassionately is an act of love.
Disapproval begins in the mind and spreads throughout. It can't be confined to thoughts about just one event or person. When I disapprove, I cloak my world in pain. Furthermore, I have the false sense of being set apart from what I am seeing. And when I single out certain people as good—meaning “superior”—I now am in the first stage of the same loveless mistake.
269
When the focus of my thoughts shifts from separation to connection, my entire world shifts with it.
The thoughts that I take to heart become the eyes with which I see. Even if unconsciously, they determine what I choose to overlook as insignificant. Yet simply because something goes unheeded doesn't mean that I remain unaffected by it. This is why being aware of my thoughts is crucial to sustaining peace.
270
Is this thought a source of pain or a source of comfort?
Some things are more difficult to let go of than others. The trick is to commit to the process. I do the best I can each time I get caught up in attack thoughts, and I set no time limit on my future efforts. It will take as long as it takes, and I resolve not to stop until I can think of the event or the individual in peace.
271
All thoughts are circular.
However much I want to stand apart from my judgments, they remain an irritant to my mind, and any irritant, no matter how slight, is a complete block to inner comfort. This type of unhappiness is directionless, agitated, and above all arrogant. Since I think whatever I want to think, let me examine my motives honestly so that I can choose again.
272
Let me be done with guilt. There is a song to sing. There is life to live and people to enjoy.
The irony of either assigning guilt or taking it on myself is that whomever I make wrong, I will not thereby perceive what is right in the other person. Being certain of the power of darkness—which is required in order to judge—does not increase my perception of light.
273
Nothing has to “turn out well” for me to be happy. People don't have to “behave themselves” for me to love them. I am free.
When I release or “give up” the world, I am not left with less, because there is another world waiting, a spiritual counterpart that answers this dream of disaster. God has recreated in beauty everything I now see. Giving up the old world for the new can only be done moment by moment. And it is never done person by person. To have no attachments doesn't mean to have no love. Love alone shows me the new world.
274
All I need do is make the effort.
I tend to forget how long and hard I have worked at being unhappy and how painstakingly I have learned the rules of misery. Am I now going to resent the little effort needed to let go of suffering?
275
Simply start over.
I want to know in advance every detail of my future course. Whether considering a new job, new friendship, new computer program, or simply ordering something new from the menu, I think I am due an exact accounting of the results before I begin. Since this is impossible, I never start. This is especially detrimental when I make a spiritual mistake and get bogged down over what went wrong instead of simply beginning again. To start over I must be willing to take myself as I am, to work with what I have, and to do so in the present. Mistakes need only be corrected.
276
Pause often in stillness.
To have peace, give peace. To be happy, make happy. To feel loved, love. This is very simple and is a part of all the world's inspired teachings. But it cannot be understood by a mind that refuses to pause.
277
There is a place in me that is already Home.
A busy mind is fear dominated, and trying to sit on my mind to make it be still is to be afraid of mind itself, which is a gift from God. Let me forget controlling my mind and remember opening my heart, for an open heart already includes the thoughts I share with God.
278
Don't be afraid to look at fear.
Anxiety has no practical value. It is a mind-clouding and soul-shrouding activity. It doesn't protect me against making mistakes. In fact, it hurts my perspective, scatters my concentration, and makes me more prone to error. However, this doesn't mean that anxiety should be resisted. It needs to be gently seen and calmly examined. “What is the thought behind this fear? And what is the thought behind that thought?”
279
Spiritual efforts often seem phony and irrelevant. Today I will pass through this resistance and do what will be helpful.
The object is to become more of what I am at my core, to become more real. Either I decide life or it decides me. Within one choice is strength, and hope based on vision, and an ever-expanding wholeness. Within its alternative is a spreading sense of powerlessness and unreality.
280
What I want is what I get. To be conflicted is to want the usual chaos.
My life reflects the unity or the division of my will. A conflicted will means that I am in neutral and will be pushed along by outside influences. Yet when I take the time to see clearly what I want, and act on it, I add direction to my life; in other words, I add my self.
281
Letting the day dictate my mood is a decision.
Emotions are not my inner self. Nor are they an irresistible force. If I calmly watch what I am feeling, the emotion changes within minutes, if not seconds. Additionally, there are layers of feeling at any given instant. Emotions do not describe a single self. The ego is as fractured and volatile as the guidance it gives.
282
I will listen to my peace, not to my ever-changing ego emotions.
If I continue responding to the world in the old conflicted ways, I remain its victim, and my feelings of defeat and sorrow deepen with age. In just a little over a hundred years, the seven billion people now on this planet will all be dead. More will come to take their place, but their fate will be the same. My commitment to the world is therefore to a dream of quick and certain destruction. There is a way out, but am I willing to do what needs to be done? Am I willing to listen to and obey the part of my mind that is already awake?
283
I alone choose to look at what “has my attention,” and to look away from everything else.
The ability to decide is merely the ability to give attention. Whether or not I acknowledge it at the time, I compile the evidence that makes my decision logical. The happier approach to life is to notice where the simplicity lies and to walk in that direction.
284
What I anticipate rarely happens. How I choose to respond to the present always happens.
If I try to decide against certain circumstances occurring in my life, I lose. But when I peacefully and kindly plan how to bypass their usual impact on my emotions, I win.
