“You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

  Olivia couldn’t control herself. She glowered at Mark, but fortunately, he was used to her sour mood.

  He folded his arms and rocked toward her on the balls of his feet. “It’s that guy, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered, choosing to move even farther away from him—anything to not have to discuss the issue who resided a floor or two above her.

  “That’s a load of bull, and you know it.” Mark’s voice followed her. “Now, I’m going to be the first to remind you that relationships with tourists are⁠—”

  She spun around and poked him in the chest, if only to make sure he kept his distance. “He’s not a tourist.”

  “Right, because you guys were involved once upon a time.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And why didn’t that work out?”

  She glanced away, expecting to find several people eavesdropping on their conversation. There were none. Dragging her eyes back to Mark, she sighed. “It was for his own good. He didn’t need the distraction.”

  Mark’s contemplative smile just begged to be wiped from his face. “Okay, it’s all coming together. You still love him.”

  Her mouth fell open. “I never said that.”

  “You didn’t have to. It’s obvious. The two of you have unfinished business. Whatever reason you had for breaking things off the first time probably doesn’t even matter anymore.”

  “How would you know what matters and what doesn’t?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Just because you are able to observe from the outside doesn’t mean you understand any of it. We didn’t work then, and we don’t work now.”

  “Why not?”

  She stared at Mark, trying to dredge up the courage to tell him about the other woman. At least then, her friend wouldn’t continue pushing her toward something that was doomed to fail before it even started.

  “He’s just not… I don’t think he loves me.”

  Mark laughed. He actually tossed back his head and let out the most obnoxious guffaw that made more than half the kitchen turn their way. Olivia darted forward to hush him, then she grabbed his arm and wheeled him away.

  “Don’t you dare tell me that you think he’s head over heels. He might be. But the point is that we’re not good for each other. I don’t think we ever were.” She flushed hot then tore her eyes from her friend. “When you’re in a relationship with someone, there needs to be a certain amount of trust.”

  “And you don’t trust him.”

  “I do. But he shouldn’t trust me.” Based on the way she’d pushed Alex away the first time and then the way she overreacted during their last interaction, she knew better than to believe she was any good for him. “But that’s just the way it is sometimes.”

  “And that’s why you’re too scared to head out there and see everything come together.” His soft words were full of understanding. For the first time since Alex had shown up, Mark was finally piecing everything together.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, if it helps, he’s not out there.”

  Her eyes widened, and she blinked. As if against her own control, her head swiveled around until she stared at the door. Of course he wasn’t going to be standing there, but she couldn’t help wondering why he would miss out on one of the biggest events this resort held. “He’s not?”

  “I didn’t see him when I made the rounds. So if you want to get out there, then you can. It’s not going to be as bad as you thought it was.”

  Her heart trembled, and a strange kind of sadness overwhelmed her. Emotion burned in the back of her throat, but she couldn’t allow herself to show any weakness. She had to present herself the way she always had.

  She lifted her chin and gave Mark a strong nod. “Thanks.”

  When she turned away to head for the door, he stopped her. She glanced down at where he held her wrist then lifted her gaze up to meet his. She gave him a funny look when he didn’t speak right away.

  “If he doesn’t see the amazing person you are, if he can’t look past the mistakes you’ve made, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

  It was the first time he’d ever said anything to her that remotely resembled a personal compliment like this. For a moment, it had her wondering if he’d harbored feelings for her that she’d never noticed before.

  But then he released her and spun away to bark orders at the servers who had just returned to the kitchen. “Next up is the entrée, folks. We need these out fast. I don’t want to hear any complaints that their meal is cold. Is that clear?”

  There was a moderate chant in response from the group. Mark glanced toward her once more then gave her a nod and a smile of encouragement.

  Mark was a better friend than she had ever given him credit for. He knew when to keep his mouth shut, and he knew when to put her in her place. This time, it fell into the latter category.

  Olivia smiled back and mouthed “Thank you” before heading for the door. The night was almost over, but she’d be able to get one glimpse of the festivities before they prepared for the rest of their little marathon.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Alex didn’t know how it was possible, but the longer he sat in his hotel room, staring at the screen, the more he could swear he heard the Christmas music from the ballroom on the lower level.

  It wasn’t possible, yet he couldn’t get “All I Want for Christmas is You” out of his head. The earworm was driving him mad.

  To make matters worse, he couldn’t focus on his writing. He’d probably gotten about twenty words completed since Jocelyn had left to attend the party. Alex glowered at his computer as if the device was the reason for his writer’s block. Just the other day, he’d been able to whip out the story like it was a part of him that he could peel off and put on the screen.

  Now… nothing.

  Olivia continued to fill his thoughts, plaguing them and infecting them. Her smile made his chest hurt. Her eyes were driving him mad. All he wanted was to see her again, to pull her into his arms and tell her that she was wrong.

  But he couldn’t. To chase after her when she’d so firmly put her foot down would only push her away more.

  You’ve already lost her. You can’t lose her again.

  He didn’t want the reminder. In fact, he wanted so badly just to forget that she’d come back into his life that he was ready to pack up his bags right then and just leave. He would get as far away from here as he could. It might take longer than last time, but he’d get over her. That was just part of loving Olivia.

  Yet something was keeping him here. It almost felt like he had unfinished business.

  Of course he did. He hadn’t been able to finish his book, which was the whole reason for spending the holidays at a resort.

  Alex reached for a pencil and tapped it on the edge of the desk where he currently sat. He fidgeted and swung his chair from side to side. He ran through their last conversation over and over again.

  He couldn’t help mulling over his last interaction with Jocelyn, either. After dealing with both of them, Alex wasn’t feeling all that great about where his life was going. He had the career he wanted, but that wasn’t all that mattered.

  At one time, he’d wanted to have a family. He’d wanted kids. And when he saw Olivia again, all those desires had come back with a vengeance. Not only did she make him want to go after those things, but she made him want to have them with her.

  His heart crumbled just a little bit more, barely glued together from the last time he’d seen her. How could he go on living, feeling this way? This wasn’t how his life was supposed to go.

  Alex tossed the pencil, eraser first, onto the desk. The clock on the wall indicated that the party would still be in full swing for the next couple of hours. Well, at least there would be dancing. The meal would be completed in the next fifteen minutes.

  The food didn’t matter as much as the company.

  He got to his feet, not knowing what his plan was. All he knew was that he wasn’t willing to lose Olivia so easily this time. She hadn’t told him he was too clingy. She’d only said that her overreaction meant she wasn’t suited for him.

  Well, she was going to hate it when he told her that she was wrong. He didn’t care if she overreacted. Even if it was something that happened on a regular basis, he was in love with her. He’d been in love with her since they were in college, for heaven’s sake. And he was going to win her back if it was the last thing he did.

  Alex marched out of his hotel room and headed down the hall, his surge of confidence leading the way. He steeled himself for whatever argument she might have ready, and he prepared to combat it with his own.

  Olivia had been happy with him.

  He’d felt it.

  He’d seen it with his own two eyes.

  As he stepped off the elevator, a sliver of unease shot through him. Ignoring the temptation to turn back with his tail between his legs, Alex charged forward. He refused to leave the resort without doing everything he could possibly think of to win her over for good.

  He stepped into the ballroom, and his legs went numb.

  Tables decorated with poinsettias and green tablecloths filled the space. Along the wall hung pine garlands dotted with red berries and pinecones. Over the center of the dance floor was an oversized arrangement of what could only be mistletoe. A string quartet in the corner of the room played a Christmas melody he couldn’t quite place. The lights were dimmed, and the hum of conversation only added to the ambience.

  Alex should have been here. He should have brought Olivia and told her everything he felt. This was the perfect place to let his feelings be known.

  Now is your chance. Find her. Tell her.

  The voice in his head pushed him forward as if there was a physical being behind him, nudging him farther into the room.

  Then he saw her.

  She was still dressed in her kitchen uniform. The red apron around her waist was clearly a finishing touch she’d added for the party. Beyond that, every bit of her was crisp and neat. Olivia was a clear professional. She belonged here. And there was no way he could ever ask her to leave.

  And she wouldn’t have to.

  If she would have him, he’d make sure she could work wherever her heart led her.

  Alex swallowed at the lump forming in his throat. She hadn’t caught sight of him yet. He had two options. He could approach her first, or he could wait for her to see him and let her decide how to handle this.

  He wasn’t dressed for a party, and he likely wouldn’t stay long. But now that he was here, there was definitely no turning back.

  Her gaze swept through the room, an almost sad smile gracing her lips. Her hands were clasped in front of her, but she stood tall and confident like the proficient chef she was.

  Then her eyes landed on him. Their gazes locked, putting him into a forcefield where he couldn’t move. Alex couldn’t predict what was going to happen next. There were so many variables in this situation. She could be upset and storm out of here. She could be as relieved to see him as he was to see her.

  Alex took a step in her direction. She didn’t move.

  He took another then another until he stood in front of her. “Hey,” he murmured.

  “Hey,” she whispered back. “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

  “I wasn’t sure you would want me to.”

  She glanced away, so he grasped her chin with his finger and thumb to force her to meet his eyes.

  “I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

  “What are you⁠—”

  “I gave up too easily last time, and I regretted it every single day of my life.”

  She blinked a few time. “Alex⁠—”

  “I understand if you want your space. Take it. Do what you have to in order to feel safe. But don’t push me out.” He searched her eyes, and his voice softened. “Please.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Olivia had to be dreaming—or hallucinating.

  When she’d been in college, she’d mourned the loss of the relationship she might have had with Alex. She’d cried and grieved, but in the end, she’d been okay with the outcome because she knew they were better off for it.

  Now she wasn’t so sure she’d made the right choice.

  Were there experiences she might not have had? Sure. But were they more important than the man standing here before her?

  What might have been different if Alex had done this last time?

  She couldn’t think about that at the moment.

  In a whirlwind of music, sound, sights, and smells, the ballroom came back to her. The tunnel feeling left her weak in the knees and a little dizzy. Olivia’s eyes were still locked with Alex, and her heart was screaming at her to say yes. To finally allow herself to jump off this cliff when she didn’t know what exactly would be waiting for her at the bottom.

  For reasons she didn’t understand, Olivia darted from the ballroom. Her heart fluttered wildly, and her hands shook. She needed air.

  The moment she set foot outside, the cold hit her like a brick wall. She sucked in a deep breath. Great. Now instead of figuratively running away from Alex, she’d literally done so. What was wrong with her?

  Olivia shut her eyes, still gulping in deep breaths.

  He wanted a chance. He wasn’t going anywhere.

  It was all so terrifying and exhilarating at once.

  Because she wanted him too.

  That was it. She wanted to be with Alex no matter how hard it would be. She turned around to head back inside and collided with a tall, firm body. Her head snapped up, and she stared right into Alex’s eyes.

  His brows were pulled together, a concerned crease between them. Before he could say anything, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. Her cheek pressed against his chest, and she exhaled. “I’m so sorry.”

  He attempted to pull back from her, but her grip on him remained. “Olivia, what’s the matter?”

  “I’m so sorry. I should have never…” She swallowed back the emotion that threatened to escape. “I never should have let you go.”

  This time, he was able to put enough distance between the two of them that he could see her face. There was no avoiding him now. Alex searched her eyes then brushed a crooked knuckle across her cheek. The tear he wiped away left behind a cold streak out in the cold night air.

  Olivia let out a sad, embarrassed laugh. “You must think I’m crazy.”

  “I’m a little confused… but no, I don’t think you’re crazy.” His gentle voice and the way he was looking at her sent a fresh shiver rocking up her spine. “I love you, Olivia,” he whispered.

  Those words were never going to get old, no matter how many times he said them. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek. “I love you. So much.”

  “Yeah?”

  She nodded. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Everything I said…” A blush spread across her face. “I think I was just scared.” The words weren’t coming as easily as she’d hoped. “I’ve always wanted what’s best for you.”

  He let out a laugh that tugged at her heart. “I’m sorry, but there’s only one person who knows what’s best for me.” Alex leaned in a little closer. “And as much as you might disagree with me, I have to tell you that you’re not it.”

  Her laughter joined his. “I’m beginning to accept that.” She tore her eyes from him, fighting the humiliation for all the pain and suffering she’d caused both of them. “I guess a part of me kept thinking that I would be the one thing to stand in your way and keep you from getting everything you wanted.”

  “Hey,” he murmured, tilting his head. He hooked his finger beneath her chin and forced her to meet his gaze again. “You’re everything I wanted.”

  Olivia’s stomach dropped and looped like she was on a roller-coaster ride without a harness. She clutched Alex, her fingers digging into his forearms. “You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that.”

  “I think I have a good idea.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes. “No, you really don’t. Do you remember when we broke up in college?”

  He grimaced. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

  She continued without hesitation. “You had just gotten a book deal with that agent. You were so excited. Do you remember what they told you? That you’d have to travel a lot and that it would be in your best interests to move to the corporate location?”

  Alex nodded, that concerned look on his face again.

  “You insisted you didn’t have to do it and you didn’t care if it affected additional books from being picked up. You were willing to stay with me.” Her voice broke. Reliving that conversation tore her up more than she’d anticipated. “You weren’t going to chase your dreams if we were together.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not⁠—”

  “So I applied for culinary school and insisted we shouldn’t be together anymore.”

  His mouth fell open slightly.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled again. “I should have trusted that we could make it work.” Tears fell down her cheeks in rivulets. “But I’m not going to make that mistake again. I want to spend my life with you, Alex. I don’t care what it takes. If I have to move to New York or⁠—”

  He placed a finger to her lips. “I don’t care what happened in the past. All I care about is protecting our future.” He brushed the backs of his knuckles along her cheek. “All I care about is you.” Alex gestured around them, and a small smile graced his lips. “This place. It’s your home. It’s where your heart belongs. And I belong to your heart.” His eyes darted down to meet hers. “I can write from anywhere, but there’s only one Starlight, Texas. And that’s where we belong.”

  Her heart practically sang. It was like there was a chorus of angels surrounding them. Olivia threw her hands around his neck and yanked him toward her. He flung his arms out to the sides to catch his balance before he slowly wrapped them around her waist and pulled her whole body close to him.

 

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