A Lady's Daring Affair, page 17
Kimbolton realized he had been staring at her without really seeing her. He smiled and ducked his head, brushing his lips across hers.
“Everything is perfectly all right.” He held up an arm and flashed a cufflink at her. “Maybe for next time, I should be naked as well. Just to make it fair.”
Lydia giggled.
“Do you want some help with that?”
Kimbolton laughed as he carefully eased out of her body, wobbling as he got to his feet.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to help. I don’t think I’ll be able to undo the buttons while I’m still shaking.”
“You just want an excuse for a woman to undress you.”
Kimbolton winked.
“I’m easy to please.”
And he planned on showing that. Just as much as he was planning on showing how much he could please her.
Chapter 14
“I have the second post for you, Lady Blackmore.” Mrs Cresswell crossed the library to Lydia, who was sitting on the floor with Luke. “Would you like to look at them now, or shall I leave them on your desk?”
“I’ll look at them now.” Lydia got herself up off the floor, biting back a wince as her body moved. She had been sitting down for too long. She took the three letters from the housekeeper. “Thank you, Mrs Cresswell. Are there any other duties about the house that I need to attend to?”
The older woman shook her head.
“There’s nothing that needs your immediate attention, my Lady. Everything is under control.”
“Good. That will be all for now.”
Mrs Cresswell nodded and then left the room. Leaving Luke with his toy soldiers spread across the floor by the fire, Lydia went to the window seat with the letter. It was still a little delicate between her legs whenever she sat down, but it was a good soreness. After all, it had been a while since she had taken a man to bed.
Lydia couldn’t believe that she had been brave enough to proposition Kimbolton. She had watched him throughout the day, interacting with Luke, and she had found herself desiring him more than before. It was a deep, incessant burn in her belly that seemed to burn even hotter the longer Kimbolton stayed in her company. He was such a kind, gentle man, really good with her son. And he didn’t think that she was mad for thinking as she did about Simon.
She had wanted him, and Lydia had taken a leap.
Last night had been magical. Although Lydia was a little embarrassed still about how bold she had been. She had barely been able to get Kimbolton’s clothes off before she was taking him inside her. She must have looked like a wanton creature. But from the way Kimbolton had touched her, finally stripping off his clothes before making love to every part of her body with her mouth before taking her body again, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he appeared to revel in her confidence.
They had made love until it was almost light. Lydia was falling asleep in his arms when she realized that it would be impossible for Kimbolton to sneak out without the servants knowing. Somehow, she had managed to get him to move, asking for him to call on her for tea later in the day. After barely sleeping the night before, both of them needed rest.
Which is what Lydia had done. She had told her maid that she had slept badly and wanted to stay in bed for a while longer. Luke had his governess, so he was taken care of. All she needed to do was sleep the morning away, and then she would be fresh and ready for Kimbolton’s visit at teatime.
Luke would be delighted to see him again. He had become rather attached to the Earl. And, if she was honest, so had Lydia.
Dare she say that she was falling for him? The thought of falling in love again wasn’t as scary or as much of a betrayal as she thought it would be. Simon wouldn’t have wanted her to stay in the past for him. He would have wanted her to move on.
And he certainly would have approved of Lord Kimbolton. This man could look after her.
Lydia checked the first two letters, and Luke and Isabella played with the soldiers. Luke giggled away, his smile beaming as he looked over at his mother. Lydia loved seeing her son like this.
The first two letters were just regular letters from distant family, extending invitations for her to visit soon. Lydia put them aside. She would give them some thought. It would be nice to get out of London for a while. Then she opened the third letter. She didn’t recognize the writing, and it wasn’t signed.
But as she read through the contents, Lydia felt herself going cold. She must have misread it somehow. But it was the same a second time. And a third. All of a sudden, the room was decidedly chilly.
Luke’s giggling brought Lydia out of her shock. She swallowed and got to her feet.
“Isabella, could you take Luke to the nursery, please?”
“My Lady?”
“Just…” Lydia waved her hand towards the door. “Please, don’t argue with me. Just do it.”
Isabella closed her mouth and nodded, beckoning for Luke to follow her. However, the little boy was staring at his mother in confusion.
“What’s wrong, Mother? Have I done something wrong?”
“No, darling, you haven’t. But could you do as you’re told?”
Luke didn’t look happy about that, but he allowed Isabella to take his hand and lead him out of the room. Lydia staggered to the settee and read the letter again. It was only one page, but it told her enough. Kimbolton had lied to her. He had been using her for his own gain. Something she had suspected in the beginning, but she had looked past that with Kimbolton’s enthusiasm towards her husband’s death. By now, she had forgotten that he was penniless. Lydia had only been focused on the man.
To think he had done this for an ulterior motive.
“Lady Blackmore?”
Lydia looked up. Mrs Cresswell was back in the doorway, frowning at her mistress.
“The Earl of Kimbolton is here. He said you two arranged for him to come by.”
“I... of course.”
Lydia didn’t want to see him now. Not after this. But this wasn’t something to do in front of the housekeeper. Somehow, she got to her feet and brushed her hands down her skirts.
“Show him in, Mrs Cresswell.”
Her housekeeper nodded and stepped aside, allowing Kimbolton to enter the room. Lydia’s stomach tightened when she saw him. Only a few hours ago, she had lain with him and bared everything to him. The man had made her feel alive for the first time in a year. But now, he looked like a stranger, nothing more.
How had she lost her heart to a stranger?
Mrs Cresswell closed the door. Kimbolton started across the room with a warm, happy smile, reaching out for her. Lydia found herself pulling away before he could touch her. She didn’t want him to touch her at all. Kimbolton’s smile faded as she stepped back.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve had a shock.”
“You could say that.” Lydia took a deep breath and held up the letter. “I received this just now with the second post. It says that you’re around me just for my fortune, that you’re desperate for money. You need to marry a rich woman to get your lands prosperous again, so you set out to make a wealthy woman fall in love with you. In other words, you tried to get me to fall for you.”
Kimbolton froze. Colour drained from his face, his eyes widening. Lydia’s heart sank. She had her answer from that. He really had approached her to seduce her.
And she had taken the bait.
Anger surged inside her, and Lydia couldn’t stop herself. She stepped towards him and slapped him. Hard. Kimbolton’s head didn’t move, and the slap made Lydia’s hand sting. She moved back, clutching her hand against her chest.
“How dare you?” She hissed. “You lied to me. You said you believed me about my husband’s death. This was all to get me to fall in love with you so that I would want to marry you?”
“No!” Kimbolton grimaced, rubbing at his jaw. His cheek was going red. “I mean, not now it isn’t.”
Lydia felt like he had slapped her himself. Tears were forming, and her throat tightened. How could she have been so stupid?
“I didn’t think you would admit it.”
“Look, Lydia…”
“That’s Lady Blackmore to you.”
Kimbolton’s eyes narrowed.
“Marriages aren’t often made on love. You know that. And I was desperate for money. I won’t deny it. But it wasn’t because of my title or to get my wealth back.”
“Then why?”
Kimbolton glanced away, his jaw tightening. He swallowed hard.
“It’s because of my sister. Scarlet...she’s getting undesirable men pursuing her, wanting to make her their wife. In their mind, if she’s a penniless Earl’s sister, she doesn’t get a choice in who to court and marry. I wanted to give her a bit more financial security so I could keep these men away.”
“By using me,” Lydia growled.
“Not intentionally.” Kimbolton winced. “I feel guilty about doing it. I really do. I thought if I could endear myself to you, then you would see me…” His face reddened. “See me as a potential husband. And helping you with your husband’s death seemed perfect.”
He reached for her, but Lydia backed away, bumping into a table. It wobbled, and the vase sitting on it fell off, bouncing off the rug and sending the flowers everywhere. Water splashed onto Lydia’s dress, but she ignored it, moving out of Kimbolton’s reach.
“Don’t come any closer, my Lord.”
Kimbolton lowered his hands with a heavy sigh.
“You were right, Lydia. There is something wrong with Lord Blackmore’s death. I don’t think he fell down the stairs. I think he fell from the balcony above, coming out from his study. And from the way he fell, he was pushed. I believe he was murdered.” He stared at her. “And I wouldn’t have come to that conclusion if I hadn’t approached you offering my services.”
He believed her. He knew that something wasn’t right. But that didn’t fill Lydia with relief as she expected. It just made her feel more nauseous. Kimbolton wouldn’t have come to that conclusion if he hadn’t lied to her in the first place. She glared at him.
“Don’t think you did me a favour,” she snapped. “You were going to use me! What were you going to do? Take me to bed and hope I get with child so I have no choice but to marry you?”
“What? No! Of course not.” Kimbolton folded his arms. “I went into this with bad intentions. I will admit that. All I was focused on was helping my sister. But now…” He sighed and shook his head. “I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I have. And I can only apologize for it.”
He might be admitting it now, but that didn’t change anything. He had still lied, and Lydia had let her guard down. She had fallen for this man, all because he figured out how to charm her. Kimbolton knew he was lying to her, and he had never been upfront. If he had explained about his sister in the beginning, Lydia might have offered some help. Possibly. But now...she felt sick looking at him.
“I can’t trust you anymore.”
“I understand that, and I deserve to have you lose your trust in me.” Kimbolton gave her a pleading look. “But I believe you. I’m on your side.”
“How do I know that? I don’t know what to believe anymore!”
“If I said that I love you, would you believe that?”
Lydia reeled back. He had not just said that, had he? He couldn’t possibly think that would make everything all right now. That just made things worse for her. Lydia felt the tears prickling in her eyes. How could she have let him so close?
“You don’t love me. I doubt you know what love is.”
“That’s not fair.” Kimbolton started towards her. “Lydia, please…”
“Don’t call me that!” Lydia couldn’t look at him anymore. She turned away. “I think you need to leave.”
“Can’t we talk this out?”
“I said you need to leave! You’ve done enough. I don’t want to see you again.”
Lydia kept her back to Kimbolton for fear of crumbling when she saw him. If she did look at him, she would be running into his arms. Even with the betrayal, the desire to be held by him was too strong. Lydia couldn’t crumble like that.
“Is that what you really want?” Kimbolton asked quietly. He sounded resigned to his fate. “You really want me to leave?”
“It is.”
Lydia heard his footsteps across the floor, heading away from her. She almost turned around to call out for him, but she stopped herself. That was not going to help the situation at all. Kimbolton had broken her trust, and she wasn’t about to fall at his feet because he had said he loved her.
He didn’t love her. A man who was using a woman didn’t love them.
There was not another word as the door opened and then closed after a brief moment. It was then that Lydia stumbled to the settee and sat down before her legs gave way. A moment more, and the tears could not be held back any longer.
She was such a fool. Why did the man she fell in love with have to be a liar?
#
Kimbolton was still shocked as he got into his carriage. Everything didn’t seem to be real. How had someone found out about what he had planned to do? Could it be that someone saw him with Lydia and guessed that’s what he was up to? They weren’t wrong, but sending it in a letter made it more malicious.
He couldn’t lie to her when she confronted him. It had been eating away at him for a while, and Kimbolton had been telling himself that he really needed to tell her before this went any further. Lydia was a level-headed woman. She would have forgiven him.
She might have forgiven him if he had told her instead of having to find out through a letter.
Kimbolton buried his head in his hands as his carriage rocked and shuddered through the streets. He shouldn’t have gone to her room last night. He should have politely turned her down. But when she had looked at him with those beautiful eyes and asked such a bold statement, Kimbolton hadn’t been able to refuse. And last night had been incredible. With the restraints of society put to one side, Lydia was like pure fire. She was eager for everything, touching and kissing every part of his body. Kimbolton had taken enthusiastic women to bed, but there was something about Lydia that felt different. More raw.
He had wanted to hold her for far longer, but it was best that he went home. Trying to sneak out after the servants were awake really would have been noticed. After a long sleep at home, Kimbolton had awoken in a good mood, and he was looking forward to seeing Lydia again. He might not be able to touch her as he wanted, but being in the same room as her would be enough.
Then this had to happen. Kimbolton felt humiliated.
True, he had set out to seduce the wealthy widow. The fact she was beautiful as well helped. But Kimbolton had pretty much forgotten about what he had planned to do, and now he just wanted to be with her. Have her for himself. He loved her, and he loved the little boy. Luke was a sweet boy, and Kimbolton couldn’t help but smile being around the child.
He had never thought about being a stepfather, not properly. Luke would have just been Lydia’s son, and Kimbolton would have coped with a child around him after the marriage. Now he found himself wanting to be a father. After the interaction between them, he felt that he could do it. And Luke was the type of child anyone would want as theirs.
Now that was gone. Lydia wouldn’t let him anywhere near her after this. She had confessed to him that she was scared about even venturing into the public again as it would be expected for her to marry again, and she didn’t want people to be with her because of her money. Kimbolton had felt very guilty at this, and yet he hadn’t said anything.
