Follow Your Bliss, page 28
He said that to the whole dang internet? Mrs. Betty and Big Brother StudFinders must be crying into their tea and beers.
“In case you missed it,” he went on, “she’s the genius designer and seamstress behind Sweet Roses Bridal, and I recently posed with her to help get her Instagram up and running. We’ve both shared photos from that day, but here’s my favorite.”
The screen filled with the photo of us kissing that he didn’t want to post before. My eyes filled with tears and Mom aww’ed beside me. “Y’all are such a beautiful couple.”
I’d forgotten how devoted and in love he looked in that photo, his brow lowered, his eyes closed, his hand along my jaw as if loving me was the most serious thing in the world.
“The only thing more beautiful than that gown is that woman’s heart,” Jason continued. “And while we were evacuated in Florida because of Hurricane Oscar, she saw this cool wall shelf made from an old church window in a shop. She wanted it for her crystal collection, but neither of us had the extra cash. So I made her one to look like the windows in our converted church home.”
A corner of my mouth twitched up. Again with the “our home.”
I watched the whole video with tears streaming down my face, from him designing the shelf, cutting the wood, bending the pieces to make the curved point at the top. All the little details he poured into it to please me, like the deep shelves and buying me a new set of tarot cards he said he found on my Amazon Wishlist to be sure they’d fit. Becca even came on camera to help him with a portion of it, putting the first coat of the gray paint from the rectory on it—“Diana’s Moon,” Jason called it—and helping him distress it.
I missed him more and more as the video went along. Then finally, he hung the finished shelf on a wall—with tarot cards on it—in the main living area of the church. Where God and everybody could see it.
Becca stood beside him with a gift bag in hand. “I have a friend in Arkansas who collects hunks of quartz off her land.” She reached in and pulled out a gorgeous fat cluster of clear quartz big enough to hold with two hands. “She gave me this a while back, and I’ve been trying to find a good home for it. Would Rose like it?”
“Ahh, thanks Becca, it’s perfect.” He took it carefully from her and sat it on the shelf. “I think she’ll love it.”
Watching Jason and his sister talking so casually about me, hearing Jason call his house my home too…I’d been so certain that what happened between us was the end of it. And so certain that I wouldn’t have a permanent place in his life that I grabbed onto his issues with his mom and pushed our relationship away with both hands.
I walked out on him when he needed me. The truth was, we needed each other.
Mom squeezed my hand. “Does being with Jason make you happy?”
I nodded through softer tears. “Blissful.”
“So…maybe it’s time to follow your bliss?”
I huffed a soft laugh at her choice of words. “Yeah. I think it is.”
“Then go get ready. I’ll drive you to the rehearsal dinner.”
I nodded. “Okay. But I have to wrap something first.”
Jason
The hot September evening gave no quarter, even as the sinking sun infused the sky with shots of pink and orange. Sweat tracked down my back, soaking my white Oxford shirt under my suit jacket where I climbed the front steps of Bastian’s Bistro. I took another look either way down the street to see if Rose had magically appeared.
But she wasn’t walking or driving up the street. I sighed and went into the restaurant.
“Mama,” Becca said, phone in hand near the empty hostess station, “Rose won’t let me down.”
Enough was enough. Becca hadn’t wanted me to pull Mom aside at the church, but it was time to move forward because loving Rose was my future.
“Maybe it’s for the best if she doesn’t stand in the wedding,” Mom said. “I’m thinking of her, too, and how awkward it’ll be for her to walk with Jason now that they’ve broken up.”
I approached them. “Rose was probably worried about coming tonight because she didn’t want to upset you.”
Becca pointed at me. “Bingo. She also said she had to finish something before she could come, and that it couldn’t wait.”
I frowned at Becca in question.
Becca shrugged back with a smile. “No idea,” she singsonged.
Mom frowned. “It seems a little rude, is all.”
“Ma,” I said with all the calmness and respect I could muster. I took a deep breath, symbolically filling myself with the strength of my love for Rose. “I’m sorry. I was completely out of line not to tell you about me and Rose from the beginning. I was afraid to hurt you again, and I own that I messed up. I promise not to hide important things from you just because I think you won’t like them. You asked me if I was serious about Rose, and I hate that I didn’t answer. I am. I love her. I’d marry her tonight, if she’d have me. I don’t ever want to hurt you. But as a very wise woman told me, I might have to disappoint you sometimes, and we’ll both have to learn that we can still love each other after it.”
Mom frowned back at me, her eyes glossy. “Jason, I’ve just been so worried you’ll get hurt again. You didn’t deserve what you went through with Kasey, and I don’t want you to fall for someone else who’ll take advantage of your good heart.”
“But Rose is an amazing, loving person, which you’d know if you’d give her half a chance. You were really rude to her at our house, and I—”
Mom’s brows pulled together in a question and her mouth opened, but I kept talking before she could speak. “Yes, I said our house. Mine and Rose’s. And she has a right to do what she wants in her own house. She didn’t do anything to deserve you talking to her like that, and I should’ve spoken up for her. She wanted to tell you about us. I’m the one who was afraid to tell you something I didn’t think you’d like.”
Mom’s face crumpled, and she took my hand. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“Rose is best for me,” I said.
“I just don’t want her to take you away from me.”
I squeezed her hand. “Ma, I wouldn’t love the kind of woman who would. Never again.”
“Hey Rose!” Becca called with a smile. “I’m so glad you made it!”
I followed her gaze to my right. Seeing Rose standing in the same room as me hit my system like a drug. My heart thudded into service like it’d been stopped before, and even more sweat poured down my back. She was breathtaking in a flowery dress with a corset top and her long hair curling down. I could tell from the style and how it hugged her curves that she’d made that dress, and my heart swelled with pride for the talent and beauty of this amazing woman.
And when our eyes met, all the stars that had come untethered in my sky snapped back into place.
“I’m sorry I was late.” She stepped forward with a small white box in her hands. “I was putting the finishing touches on this. It’s for Becca, but it’s also for you, Mrs. Betty.” She handed the box to Mom, who looked like she wanted to sink into the ground. “Here, open it.”
“Oh. Um, thank you.” Mom wiped her eyes and carefully removed the ribbon and top of the box. Behind her, Becca’s smile was huge.
I could hardly take my eyes off of Rose, but she didn’t look at me again. How much of that had she heard?
“Oh,” Mom breathed. She pulled a blue handkerchief from the box. “You fixed it, but you—”
I stepped closer to see it as Rose explained.
“You mentioned how you always wanted to have the names of all the brides who carried it embroidered on it, and I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if it was actually their signatures? So, I got Becca to track them down for me, and I embroidered them for you.” She twisted her hands. “I hope I didn’t overstep.”
“I only found Great-Grandma Mary’s this afternoon,” Becca said, “so Rose didn’t have much time to finish it for tonight.”
A tear rolled down Mom’s cheek. She reached over and took Rose’s hand. “It’s beautiful, honey. Just beautiful. It’s exactly what I wanted, and now the tradition won’t be lost. Thank you. It means so much to me that you went to all this trouble for my family.”
“Of course. Try and keep it in this archival, acid-free tissue paper. It’ll help keep it from yellowing. And I wrote up some instructions to best preserve it.” Rose tugged on a card stuck into the box. “There’s no reason it shouldn’t last until your descendants run out of places for signatures.”
Mom stared at the card. “I can’t believe you did all this for me after I was so awful to you.” Mom placed the handkerchief back into the box and handed it to Becca. She took Rose’s hand. “I’m sorry, Rose, for the way I acted and for what I said.” Then she took my hand. “And I’m sorry, Jason.” She connected my hand with Rose’s. I held my breath, afraid to grab hers too fast, but she grasped my hand first. I squeezed hers for dear life.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance, Rose,” Mom said. “I’ll do better.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about us,” Rose said softly. “We should’ve been honest from the beginning.”
I wasn’t sure where we stood, but I loved hearing “we” and “us” from her mouth.
“Thank you for saying so. And thank you for the handkerchief. It’s perfect. More than I imagined.” Mom put her hands on each of our cheeks. “Be good to each other.” She turned and took Becca’s hand, going back into the restaurant.
Rose’s gaze met mine. She took my other hand. “I saw my crystal shelf. Thank you. It was beautiful, like everything you make. But…aren’t you worried about what StudFinders will think?”
I shook my head. “I already turned them down.”
She gasped, her eyes wide. “Why?”
My heart pounded a desperate rhythm, and I swallowed hard, wanting to throw my arms around her, but also needing her to say it was okay for me to. “Because it’s not enough to follow my bliss. I want to move forward with integrity. And I love you too much to hide it from anyone.”
One side of her smile quirked up as her eyebrows pulled together. “But what about your community room?”
“I’ll figure it out.” I shrugged. “Like you said—if that wasn’t the way, then the right way’s coming.” I licked my lips. “Thank you for doing that for my mom. That was really cool of you.”
“She’s important to you, so she’s important to me,” she said. “I missed you.”
A dam broke in my chest. “I missed you, too. I’m so sorry, Rose. I should never have talked to you the way I did, and I shouldn’t have let my mom talk to you that way, either. I should’ve been honest and told my mom how I feel about you. There’s no excuse for any of it, and I’d undo it if I could. But I promise I’ll do better. If you let me.”
She nodded. “Thank you. And I’m sorry I walked out the way I did. Next time we argue, I’ll stay and work it out. Because we’re everything to me.”
The aching in my chest subsided as warm relief stole through my limbs. “We’re everything to me, too.”
“And I’m also sorry I couldn’t say it before…but Jason?” She bit her lip and studied my eyes. Took a deep breath. “I love you.”
A full smile broke across my face and warmth like sunshine filled my chest. “I love you too. So much. So…does this mean you’re coming home?”
“Um. Just one thing.” She busied herself with straightening my tie. “I overheard what you said to your mom.”
I closed my hand over hers, over my pounding heart. “I meant it all.”
“I know. I want you to know…I’m not sure if I want to get married. I might, someday. But I’m not sure right now. If that’s a dealbreaker, please tell me now.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “Because I don’t want to stand in the way of your happiness, but I selfishly want you to be happy with me.”
I slipped my hand along her face. I’ve always wanted to get married, and even more so, I wanted to marry Rose. But there was something I wanted even more than that.
“I want to be your partner. If I get to do that as your husband or as your boyfriend, either way, I’m thrilled. And I respect your feelings about it. I promise I’ll never hold it over your head, and I’ll never ambush you with a surprise proposal.”
She exhaled and smiled. “Thank you,” she murmured, pulling me closer by my lapels. “Now I’m ready to come home.” She reached her hand along my jaw and brought my face close to hers, looking deeply and seriously into my eyes. “But I have to warn you.” She smiled, her wet eyes starry. “You’re never gonna be able to get rid of me.”
Tears slipped down my face as I pressed my forehead to hers. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I pulled her closer, breathing in her rosy scent like a parched man who’d finally gotten a drink of water.
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I’m serious, Deck Daddy,” she murmured against my lips. “You’re gonna be so stuck with me.”
“I want you, I love you, and you can’t threaten me with something I want. Weak sauce, Sweet Rose. Weak…” I kissed her. “Sauce.”
She pulled my ear to her mouth. “So how long does this shindig last? I desperately want to be reunited with Dick Daddy.”
I laughed, squeezing her tight and leaning into her with my hips so she could feel how badly I wanted her. I nuzzled my face next to hers. “Baby, did you name my cock?”
“Yeah.” She nipped my ear and pressed back against me. “And it feels like he likes it.”
Chapter 18
Four Months Later
Jason
“Rose, honey, where’s your tea?” Mom stood near Rose in our barely functioning kitchen area on the altar, opening and closing doors of the sideboard I’d built.
Collecting dirty dishes at the dinner table, I strained to listen to their conversation over Alex and his new girlfriend laughing with Becca and Brad over who got Mom the best birthday gift.
“Ooh, let me bring out my special Betty collection.” Rose pulled a decorative tin box from an antique cupboard she scored at a flea market and presented it to Mom with a smile. “That’s where I keep your Earl Grey.”
Mom patted Rose on the back with a smile. “You always remember. Thank you, dear.”
I grabbed the last dirty plate off the table and added it to my stack, grinning from ear to ear. Watching Rose with my mom spurred the warmest contentment in my chest. They laughed together about something as Rose set the tea kettle on the hot plate and pulled teacups from the sideboard. She set them alongside Mom’s birthday cake, which was a king cake from Haydel’s Bakery since her birthday was on the first day of the Mardi Gras season, Little Christmas. Rose winked at me as my dad and I passed with dirty dishes and leftovers from dinner on our way to the community room kitchen.
“They sure are getting along well these days, huh?” Dad said. He elbowed me and gave me his best “I told you so” smile and eyebrow raise.
“Turns out you were right yet again. But I’m glad it took months and not years.” I pulled open the dishwasher and started filling it up.
Dad covered the leftover lasagna with foil. “I may have reminded her about our uphill battle with her parents. To grease the wheel, so to speak.”
“And you know I appreciate it.”
“In fact, your mother was telling me the other day about how much she loves the weighted blanket Rose gave her for Christmas, and how thoughtful it was. She’s been using that thing pretty much every day since she got it.”
“Aw, that’s great. I’ll have to tell Rose.”
The familiar ring of my phone got louder down the hallway, and Mom appeared in the kitchen, handing my phone to me. “Jason, honey, your phone’s ringing.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I tapped the green button and wedged the phone between my ear and shoulder. “Hello?”
“Hi, this is Faduma Abdi from Big Dick Tools. Am I speaking with Jason Soniat?”
Surprise kicked into my system as I put the dish in my hand down and quickly rinsed off my hands in the sink. “Hi Faduma. Yes, this is Jason. How are you?” I shrugged at my dad and held my phone carefully to my ear, striding toward the door to the courtyard.
“I’m very well. Thank you for asking. Do you have a moment to speak? I hope it won’t be a bother for you to hear from us after so long.”
The door closed behind me, and I walked out toward the fountain, shivering and crossing my free arm across my chest. Winter had finally come to Metairie, and even the rose bushes that’d been blooming at Christmas were starting to look bedraggled. “No, yeah. I can talk, and it’s not a bother at all. What can I do for you?”
“Well, Jason, as you know, we were so disappointed when you turned us down back in September. I say this only to give you context for my call tonight. Of course I’ve talked about you with our CEO and founder, Dick Goodwin, and we were both impressed with your integrity, and how you turned down the promise of big rewards so you could live honestly.
“I didn’t want to look for a new spokesmodel, but I tried. Unfortunately, I kept running into the same problem: none of them had that special ‘Jason’ quality.”
She laughed, and I laughed too. “That’s very kind of you to say.” A swift, icy wind careened through the courtyard and straight through the thin sweater I was wearing, and I ducked behind a brick arch to try and escape it.
“Well, it’s true,” she said. “We kept sending each other your new posts, talking about the one who got away. Since we last spoke, I’ve so enjoyed your new content with Rose, the partnership you two have—it’s really sweet to see. So, over the past month, I’ve been retooling our original concepts with the StudFinders project, and I’d like to extend a similar offer as last time, but with, we feel, some much-needed changes.”
“Really?” I said in my best attempt at not sounding overeager.
At that moment, Rose came out of the side door in her coat with a big blanket. She spotted me and closed the distance.
