Fun Together, page 28
“Do you love him?”
A fresh batch of sobs bubble to the surface. “Yes, I think I do.”
“You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.”
“I’m scared.”
“This is your chance at happiness. Take it. You deserve to be loved. Don’t let fear keep you from experiencing that.” I can’t help the laugh that comes out after he says this. He shrugs and looks down bashfully. “Or something. Fuck if I know.”
“That was very poignant. Have you been reading self-help books?”
He smiles wryly. “Something like that.”
“You deserve that, too, you know.”
He nods. “Yeah, I know.”
We sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the sounds of birds and crickets. It’s good just to sit here with him, together, but lost in our own thoughts.
“What if he says he doesn’t want me anymore?”
“Trust me, that isn’t the case.”
“How do you know?”
“I happen to know where he is right now if you want to find that out for sure.”
I hug him, and his arms tighten around me, telling me that things may be different now, but we still have each other.
45
Eli
“Charity . . . is that a family name?”
The beagle looks up at me with droopy, sad eyes that seem to communicate that she didn’t choose her name, she didn’t choose to be here, and it’d be great if we could cut the chitchat and get this bath over with.
I slide the brush over her fur. “A dog of few words. I could learn a thing or two from you.”
She slumps down with a little grunt.
“I hear you got into a bit of a mess involving a scheming squirrel. That’s rough.”
Another glare.
Making sure the water is lukewarm, I run the nozzle over her fur. “Keeping an air of mystery. I like it.”
I squirt some shampoo into my hands and run it over her fur. “Squirrels can be annoying, huh? They seem to be one of the more conniving creatures of the animal kingdom.”
Chris swings open the door that leads to the lobby area, just as I’m lathering up the shampoo. “Who are you talking to?”
“Charity, of course. I like to make small talk with them.” Charity looks over at Chris as I give her ears a good massage. “See? She likes it.”
Chris just shakes his head. “Someone here to see you,” he says, holding open the door.
I peek out to see Faye standing there. I think I’m imagining her, until she gives me an awkward wave. “Hi,” she says, stepping inside the room.
“I’ll be out here if you need me.” He winks at me as the door closes behind him—a subtle nod to the confession that he and Dani made after one of our softball games that everyone at game night, except Cameron, was in cahoots to get Faye and I together.
We just stand there, staring at each other, neither of us saying anything. I drink in the sight of her. Her hair is tousled up on top of her head, and she’s wearing a tank top with a pair of old overalls on top of it. Her bangs are messy, like she’s gotten them sweaty and brushed them away from her face.
Wait, she has bangs. “I love your hair.”
She reaches up, like she forgot they were there. “Thanks. I think I got a little scissor happy,” she says.
I notice she has paint splattered on her clothing and in her hair. “Have you been painting again?” I ask.
She looks down at herself. “Oh, yeah. My living room.” Charity gets restless and makes a low groan, probably wondering why I stopped scratching her ears. “You’re busy. I’m so sorry. I should’ve called or texted.”
“What color?” I ask. Don’t leave.
“Hmm?”
“What color did you paint it?” I miss you.
“Oh.” She frowns. “Green.”
“Green’s a pretty color.” Why are you here?
She shakes her head. “Rett says it looks like I live inside of a key lime pie now.”
“How are you?” Do you miss me, too?
She adjusts her ponytail. “I’m good. Are you liking the new job?”
“I am. It’s temporary while I find something that fits what I’m looking for, but I can’t complain about getting to hang out with dogs all day.”
She smiles and walks over to give Charity a head rub. “Good for you. I’m glad you’re doing what’s best for you.”
“How are things at good ol’ Millionfish?”
“I’ve actually been on vacation for the last couple of weeks. I also had a very interesting run-in with Alexis. We’re going to talk on Monday about what’s best for me, career-wise.”
“That’s great. I’m glad you took some time off.”
She shuffles on her feet.
“I found a place to live,” I tell her, hoping that if I keep talking it’ll encourage her to say what she came here to say. “It’s a little apartment I’m renting above someone’s garage, but it’s nice for now.”
“That’s awesome. You seem to be doing well?” she says, her voice straining a little.
I’m taking steps to make my life better in many ways, but none of that matters if Faye isn’t in it. Why is she here? I feel hopeful, but I’m scared to hope for anything.
She straightens her shoulders like she’s gearing up for what she wants to say next. “The reason I came here is because I’d like to ask you something.”
My heart speeds up. “Okay . . .”
“Would you like to go on a date? With me?”
She’s so awkward. She’s so cute. She’s so perfect. “I would love to.”
“Friday night?”
I nod. “That works.”
She nods. “Okay. Cool. I’ll text you later with details.”
“Sounds great.”
She turns and leaves, the door swinging shut behind her. I stand there baffled for a few seconds before I can register what just happened. Then, I’m so full of excitement, I resist the urge to pick Charity up and swing her around with glee.
46
Faye
It’s a perfect evening for a date.
The weather is finally cooling off and the fresh change in season has given the city a burst of energy.
I pull up in front of Eli’s apartment and wipe my palms on my dress. I’m nervous, but excited too. In all the times we’ve hung out together, we’ve never actually gone on a real date. It’s nice to be nervous for a date that you’re actually looking forward to.
I go up the stairs and give his door a soft knock. It opens almost immediately, and my heart firmly lodges itself in my throat when I see him standing there.
He’s styled his hair in a different way, his usual waves pushed back from his face. His facial hair is trimmed, and he looks so good I swoon a little. Our eyes stay fixed on each other as he steps back to hold his arm out for me to come in.
“Hi,” I say, breathless. I don’t think I’ve taken a single breath since he opened the door.
He leans down to hug me, wrapping his arms around my lower back. “You look beautiful,” he says into my hair.
His hug makes my nerves completely subside, and I’m left feeling the familiar warmth I always do with him.
“Thank you.” I wore the dress I bought that day we went shopping. I also exfoliated my body within an inch of its life and based on how he’s looking at me right now, I’m glad I did. “You look very handsome.”
He looks down at his outfit and smirks. “Hope you don’t mind the Hanes white tee.”
“I don’t mind it at all.” He looks like Eli. Relaxed, comforting, playful Eli. “Sorry I’m a little early.”
“That’s okay. I’ve been ready for two hours,” he admits. “I was a little eager.”
I smile up at him. “I was too.” I look around his place. It’s s single room, with a small kitchenette in the back. It’s small, but tidy. “I like your place.”
“Yeah, it’s been good to have my own little spot. You want to sit down?” He gestures to the couch.
I take a seat, and then it’s quiet. We both look around, as if thinking of something to say. Then we make eye contact and both start laughing.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“Water would be good,” I say.
He grabs a couple of glasses from a shelf and fills them at the sink.
“Did you have to work today?” I ask.
He hands my glass to me. “My dad brought Pebbles by for a spa day.”
This makes me giggle, imagining the giant dog sitting there with cucumber slices over her eyes. “Good for Pebbles.”
He turns toward me, inching a little closer. “Did you have any pets growing up?”
I look down at my glass. “There was a stray cat that used to come around sometimes, and I would always leave food out for her. I named her Possum.” I laugh at the memory. “I would sit by the screen door of my grandpa’s kitchen and watch for her to come up. But every time I opened the door, she’d run off.” I haven’t thought about that cat in years.
“I’m sure Possum appreciated you leaving food out for her even though she was scared of you.”
“Yeah, it was always disappointing, though. I wanted so badly to pick her up and cuddle her.” I feel embarrassed about that for some reason.
His gaze wanders over my face. “You should get a cat.”
I laugh. “Maybe I should. I’m surprised you don’t have a dog. You seem like the type that would have a golden retriever or a chocolate lab that you bring around to breweries.”
His eyes sparkle with good natured mischief. “Why do I feel like you’re making fun of me?”
“I’m not making fun,” I take a sip of my drink to hide my smile. “Just making an observation.”
He checks the time on his phone. “It’s 6:30. Should we head out?”
I fiddle with the edge of my dress, suddenly hesitant to leave. We have a seven o’clock reservation at a restaurant downtown, where I was planning to give my whole spiel. But that feels wrong. It doesn’t feel like us.
This, us sitting together on the couch talking, feels like us.
“Actually, can I . . . can I tell you something first?”
He leans forward, looking at me in his intense, but gentle way. “Of course.”
The butterflies in my stomach are back and they have teeth that tear at my stomach lining. It’s silly, but I feel like I’m about to hand him my heart. He already has it anyway, but it’s like I’m fully acknowledging it now.
“I want to tell you more . . . about me.” I laugh. “I know that sounds ridiculous, considering how long we’ve known each other. But I know that I’m not exactly an open book.”
He nods his head, encouraging me to go on. “Okay.”
I clear my throat. “Two truths and a lie.”
He smiles and it’s so sweet I want to eat it.
“When I was six, my mom left me to live with my grandpa for about five or six years. One night, I overheard her telling my grandpa she was leaving, but I thought she meant she’d be gone for like a week or something. I don’t know, I was little. I even felt kind of excited because my grandpa let me watch all the SpongeBob I wanted.”
He reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze.
I turn my hand so that my palm lies in his. “But then weeks passed, and she didn’t come home. Then I started freaking out, thinking she was dead or kidnapped or whatever my little kid imagination conjured up. Finally, I asked my grandpa where she was.” I take a sip of my drink. “Long story short, I didn’t see her again until I was thirteen, shortly before I started high school.”
“That must have been hard,” he says, brow furrowing with concern.
“I felt like I didn’t even know her, like she was some stranger who showed up one day, expecting everything to be fine.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I had my grandpa, at least. Not many people can say they had someone there for them.”
“Still, you were just a kid. You should have been worried about math tests and field trips.”
“I had this fear, I don’t know, that I would become her. Because when Andrew and I broke up, I felt so guilty. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want to stay with him, knowing that I wasn’t ever going to marry him.”
His thumb runs back and forth over my hand. “I understand.”
I take a deep breath. “And I lied to you before.”
“About what?”
“You asked me to admit that you didn’t make me happy. But you make me happier than I’ve ever been, and I’ve decided that I need to be brave enough to not only accept that but reciprocate it.” I take a deep breath. “So. . . my final truth is that I love you.”
I set my glass down on his side table. “I love you, because there is no one like you. Who makes me laugh like you. Who sees me, and knows me, like you. And I see you, too. I see you show up for your family and care for your friends. I see you step into everyone room like a beam of sunshine. I want all of your chatter, all of your warmth.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I want your bad days, too. To take care of you and support you. I want to try all of it, with you.”
Then he kisses me, hard, before holding my face in his hands. “I love you, Faye.”
The kiss we share is so forceful we both lose balance, and he manages to catch my body as we roll off the couch. We laugh as we kiss and it’s perfect.
He lifts his head up, looking down at me with those sweet, teasing eyes I will never get enough of. “I think we might miss that dinner reservation.”
A piece of hair falls over his brow and I brush it back before pulling his mouth back to mine. I murmur against his lips, “Fine by me.”
We do what we’ve done countless times before but tonight is different. His hands on me are possessive, and my lips on his are finally home. We move together with no more doubts clouding the air between us.
I bury my face in the tender heat of his neck and whisper, “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you more,” he says before pressing his lips to my hair.
I’m so glad I won’t have to miss him anymore.
47
Faye
Two Months Later
Something is clawing at my toe. When I try to kick it off it only latches on harder. Am I having a nightmare?
I peek my eyes open and soft light pours into my bedroom through the sheer curtains. What possessed me to have sheer curtains in my bedroom, I have no idea. The clawing has turned to climbing and the little creature weasels its way up my leg, getting caught on the comforter along the way.
I’m not dreaming. It’s just the kitten I got yesterday. She’s a demon spawned directly from hell, but she’s my demon spawned directly from hell.
“Come here, you little devil.” I unlatch her from my legs and cuddle her up by my face, just like I wanted to do with Possum when I was little. Her little claws graze my cheek, but I don’t care. “We’ve got to get you on a different schedule. I can’t keep waking up with the sun.”
I hear rustling in the kitchen, which means Eli is already up making some kind of chalky protein concoction for breakfast.
“I swear you two are conspiring to make me a morning person. Did he put you up to this?”
She answers by pouncing, and then chewing, on my hair.
Eli peeks his head in the room, and I do a double take because he’s standing there wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with pink hearts all over them and a giant straw hat. He bought the boxers last week because he liked that they matched my underwear. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asks.
“No, this gremlin did.” I point to his head. “What’s with the hat?”
He comes in and kisses the cat on the head and then gives me a loud smacking kiss on the forehead. “I love my two little gremlins.” He tightens the strap hanging below his chin before giving the brim a proud tug. “It’s my gardening hat.”
Eli and my grandpa have become best friends, and that’s not even an exaggeration. They text each other every day, and I didn’t even know my grandpa even knew how to text. Their latest project is cleaning up grandpa’s garden beds. We’re heading over there this afternoon to work on it.
“You’re taking this gardening thing way too seriously.”
“Tell that to the fall harvest we’ve got waiting for us.”
“We? This has nothing to with me.”
He leaves and comes back with another hat, which he deposits on my head. “Rumor has it that you haven’t completed the hobby portion of your fun list.”
“Dani and I took that pottery class last week, though.”
“Doesn’t count. She told me you complained the whole time about how the wet clay felt on your hands.”
I shiver. “It was . . . slimy.”
“So, you didn’t have fun. So, it doesn’t count.”
“Gardening isn’t fun either.”
“You won’t know until you try.” He tightens my chin strap and uses the string to pull my face up to his. He kisses me on the nose. “You look cute.”
I reach up to trace the latest tattoo he got a few weeks ago, on top of his left hand. Two swans with their necks entwined. When he came home and showed it to me, he said it was a spur-of-the-moment decision like all of his other ones, but that this one meant everything to him.
I have never felt so content with someone. To not question every word or action that I make. To feel security, but also anticipation for what’s to come. Today it’s something as simple as gardening, but tomorrow it could be anything we want.
And every night he holds me so tight, like the bedsheets are a tide threatening to wrench me away from him. But I don’t pull away anymore.
I hold him tighter, saying I love being here, with you. And I can’t wait to see what we can do together.
Acknowledgments
