A Christmas in Prague, page 18
The waiter brings us wine glasses, and Tomas tells me about the corkage fee they have. It seems other tables around us have also brought their own wine. I love the idea of bringing your own drink.
I read the label on the wine one more time. ‘1993. A good year.’
‘Indeed,’ agrees Tomas.
‘To Aunt Grace and Marek,’ I say, holding my wine glass up.
‘To Grace and Marek,’ say the others.
We take a sip of our drinks and have a moment to remember them.
‘What was your favourite memory of your aunt?’ asks Tomas.
‘Ooh, there are so many. That’s a difficult one. I loved how she treated me like a daughter, especially after my mam had died. Even though she was grieving her sister, she was there for me. I loved the way she bought me the best Christmas presents. She always knew what I’d want. Like the time she bought me the hobby horse and a Tiny Tears doll that cried. Now I look back, I’m not sure why I ever wanted a doll that cried.’
I smile as I remember the doll that I used to push around everywhere, as if it were my own baby.
‘What about you, Albert? What’s your fondest memory of Marek?’
‘Like your aunt, he was very generous. The way he bought those snow globes for us on his school trip. Of course, I didn’t realise he took one back though. He could be naughty when he wanted to,’ Albert smiles.
At this, we all raise a giggle around the table, even though Zuzana doesn’t quite understand us.
‘But, I’ll never forget his face when he told me about Grace. He looked more alive than I’d ever seen him. He’d never found the one for him, and then, finally, when he didn’t expect it, he did, and look what happened.’
I stretch my hand out to touch Albert’s. ‘I’m so sorry for what happened,’ I say.
‘It’s nobody’s fault. I realise that now. For many years I felt bitter. It was the rock and the river that took him from us. Nobody was to blame. You see, I told you, he could be naughty sometimes. He had a mind of his own. He was determined to sell anything to get back to Grace, even the trout from the river.’
‘He sounds like a character, and we all know he was much loved,’ I say.
‘Yes, he was,’ says Albert.
‘And look what he did. Strangers from far away meeting because of Marek, all these years later,’ says Tomas.
‘It’s lovely, isn’t it,’ I say.
‘For sure. We’re all here together, and I wish I could thank Marek for this,’ says Tomas. He looks over at me and smiles as he says it. I smile back at him fondly. ‘Learning so much about my uncle and meeting Olivia has meant a lot to me,’ says Tomas to Albert and Zuzana.
‘That’s nice. You really mean that?’ I ask.
‘Of course. I mean, how else would I have got the bar ready for the party?’ teases Tomas.
Albert and Zuzana are smiling as they watch us.
‘I just can’t believe I have to leave. I know I extended my stay before, but now I really have to go home.’
‘What’s stopping you from staying on?’ asks Tomas.
‘Yes, what’s stopping you?’ asks Albert.
I couldn’t possibly stay here any longer. The idea is absurd.
‘I have a home in the UK. The mill takes a lot of work to run. The pipes will be frozen. I mean, there are the gardens and badgers, the birds… Who would feed the birds?’
It takes a lot of work, especially since I have to do everything myself. In some ways, it would be nice not to have to chop wood and, instead, have a home with proper central heating. But it is home for me, and the thought of selling up because I am enjoying a holiday a little too much would never happen. Once it’s gone, I can’t get it back. I belong in Wales. I’ll also have my inheritance when I return, and I need to decide what to do with the next chapter of my life. Sat here, I realise that I’m ready to start my life again, and this time around, I am not wasting a moment on worrying what people think of me.
‘Besides, I’d have nothing to do here. I’ve done all the tourist stuff now,’ I say.
‘I need some help at the bar,’ says Tomas.
‘Yes, he does need help,’ says Albert.
I look at the two of them, who have obviously been plotting together.
‘I would certainly need more persuading than that.’
‘Will this persuade you?’ says Albert, pouring more wine.
‘Hmm, you’re heading the right way,’ I joke.
Thankfully, everyone drops the subject when our meal arrives. We enjoy our Czech dinner with pork and potatoes, and it makes me think how much I will miss this glorious food. The more wine I drink, the more I want to stay in Prague. Do I really want to rattle around the mill on my own when I could be here with this lovely family? But, the truth is, Wales is home.
As I sip on the last of my wine, Tomas leans over to me.
‘I meant it. I’m so glad we met. I was just teasing you about needing your help to get the bar ready.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m going to miss you when you’ve left,’ says Tomas.
I don’t tell him that I am going to miss being with him more than I have ever missed anything in my life. Instead, I smile and pretend that I am fine about going home.
‘Let’s try not to think about it. We have a New Year’s Eve party to enjoy tomorrow first,’ I say.
I lean over to him and give him a hug, which feels like the most natural thing in the world. If only I could stay holding him like this forever.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I sink into bed in a dreamy daze. You would think I’d be more sensible at this age, but Tomas makes me feel like a love-struck teenager every time I look at him. I tell myself I have to get a grip. I toss and turn and can’t sleep as I think about my feelings for him. It annoys me that we have so much in common, that Aunt Grace thought he sounded perfect for me all those years ago and that I can’t keep track of what is happening between Tomas and Milena. Exactly what has he sorted out between them? I have purposely avoided the subject because I am afraid of the answer. Everything about Tomas gives me conflicting feelings, from the biggest crush I have ever had on a man to frustration that it is all so complicated.
Eventually, I grab the remote and pop the television on to take my mind off things, but I can’t find an English channel and soon turn it off.
I look across to the pile of letters on the dressing table that I still haven’t read and consider doing some bedtime reading. But after having seen the letter about Craig, I feel hesitant to pick them up. It is all in the past.
Despite my reticence, I get out of bed and flick through them. Do I really need to know anything more? I come to the conclusion that I don’t. Except, when I look at one envelope in particular, I feel compelled to read it. Perhaps it is the pretty bluebells embossed on the stationery that remind me of the bluebell woods near the mill, or the fact that the envelope looks slightly more padded out than the other letters. I can’t help myself from taking out the letter from inside the opened envelope and promise myself that I will not read another after this. Then I see the photos inside. They are photos of Marek in London. In one of them he is standing in front of Big Ben with Aunt Grace. I expect Silvie must have taken these photos. He was every bit as distinguished as Aunt Grace described him. Some would say he was dapper-looking with his handkerchief in the pocket of his blazer and the cravat around his neck. I am not surprised Aunt Grace had never met anyone like that before. I read the letter that comes with the photos.
1 June 1994
Dearest Marek,
I have included some photos that Silvie took when you were in London. She finally went to get her camera film developed after all this time! I asked her what had happened to the photos, but she took forever to get the film developed. That’s the problem when you buy a roll of thirty-six!
Anyway, I have copies from her negatives, so this is your set. I kissed the photo of us outside Big Ben before I posted it. It was so wonderful to see these photos. A marvellous memory. Oh, how I miss you. Some nights, when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep, I wish you were next to me in bed. Those nights in London sleeping together meant the world to me. The memory of feeling our skin touch side by side all night has kept me company on these lonely nights.
I put the letter down. Perhaps I shouldn’t have read that part. But then a name jumps out at me as I fold it back up.
I meant to ask about your conversation with Zuzana. She sounds very lovely, and I’m glad you have someone so caring to confide in. Did Zuzana really think that we should…
Oh, my goodness, Zuzana is mentioned in the letters too. I wonder what Aunt Grace knew of her. But after that, there is a big watermark, and I can’t read what it says.
Would it be incredibly nosy of me to corner Zuzana at the party tomorrow and tell her about the letter and ask her what she thought Aunt Grace and Marek should do? By the next morning, I can’t stop wondering what Zuzana thought of Aunt Grace. I know we mostly just smile at each other because of the language difficulties, but I am sure I can ask her what she knew about her somehow. It would be nice to learn a bit more. Maybe she would like to see the photos too. I put them safely to one side.
* * *
In the morning, I decide to visit the Strahov Library, as Tomas has suggested, and see the Premonstratensian monastery with its collection of preserved books.
Like everything I have seen in Prague, there are beautiful views of the city around me, and the historic monastery is no different. The church brewery on the grounds comes as a pleasant surprise too. But, as I go inside the library, I am taken aback by its magnificence, and even better is the fact that there are apparently around 200,000 books here. I thought my to-be-read pile was big!
As I am taken on a tour around the baroque-designed Philosophical Hall, it seems that it isn’t only families who have intriguing secrets, but buildings too. Amid walnut and gold-plated shelves, hidden behind fake books, is a spiral staircase that leads up to the second floor. No wonder Tomas calls it the most beautiful library in the world. My local community-run library is nothing like this. Well, they certainly don’t have ornate scenes from Greek mythology and philosophy on the ceiling like this place does. In fact, their ceiling is about to collapse, and I will be putting some of the inheritance towards their fundraising.
After a full tour of the library, I have to tear myself away from all the books and head back into the centre of Prague. I take a walk along Charles Bridge before going to the hotel. The cold is making my nose go red, and I shield my cheeks with my mitten-covered hands to try and warm my face up. Then I pass the statue that Tomas showed me previously with the dog. I remove a mitten to touch the dog for a little extra luck for the forthcoming new year.
Once I have stroked him and walked a bit further, I accidentally head off in the wrong direction and find myself at Lovers Bridge. I remember from what Dewi told me that this was the place where couples sealed their love with padlocks. However, Tomas told me that it is frowned upon now as the locks rusted away, and it was terrible for pollution as people carelessly threw the keys into the Devil’s Channel below. I had originally considered it to be a great way to somehow seal Aunt Grace and Marek’s love together, but this is not a sensible option. I will think of something to do to tie them together one day though; I owe them both that much. They may not have stayed together in this world, but somehow, I want them to be connected again.
I stop for lunch at the Christmas market near the hotel since I can’t resist the smell of onions being fried. This market does terrible things to my appetite, and I have my eyes on the doughnut stall next. I find a bench and watch people walk around the market as I eat the tasty Czech sausage with onions.
By the time I eventually reach the hotel, I am grateful for the fierce heat that greets me in the lobby. The temperature has definitely dropped further today, and not even my long red coat with its fur collar is keeping me warm. It is Baltic outside.
As I loosen my scarf from around my neck, my favourite bellboy rushes up to me.
‘Madame, there is a package for you.’
‘A package?’
‘Yes, it came this afternoon.’
I take the package from him and squeeze at it. It is squidgy, almost like when I received the Christmas jumper from Dewi. Surely, he hasn’t sent me another. But there are no postage stamps. This is a local delivery.
In the lift, I look at the parcel. What could it possibly be?
As soon as I reach my room, I tear open the paper. Inside, something is wrapped in lilac-coloured tissue paper with a heart-shaped sticker keeping it in place. Sequins reflect through the paper, and as I remove it, I can see that it is the sparkly gold sequin jacket that was in the fancy boutique Tomas and I stopped at. A card falls out that confirms my suspicions.
I know you loved this. Hope it fits. Thought it might be something for this evening, if you wanted to wear it, that is. Tomas X.
I throw off my coat and remove my thick, knitted jumper from underneath. I am so excited to try the jacket on that I can’t wait. I pray it fits. I put one arm in and then the next. It fits like a glove. This will certainly brighten up the plain black dress I had planned for this evening. It is absolutely stunning. I twirl around in the mirror, watching the sequins as they catch the light and see the old me in my reflection. Can I possibly shine this bright again? I am hesitant about that as my confidence has been shattered so badly over the past few years. But wearing this lifts my spirits and makes me want to say goodbye to my self-inflicted lonely past.
This must be one of the most beautiful items of clothing I have ever owned. It seems all the best things come from Prague, and, just like my snow globe, I will treasure it forever.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I can see the effort that Tomas has made for this evening as soon as the taxi pulls up outside the bar. The chairs we left leaning against the tables are now decorated with pretty gold ribbons. The tables are covered in white tablecloths with centrepieces of gold candles. With the orange glow of the lights from outside, it is enough to draw anyone in.
Of course, tonight, it is closed to the public, which makes me feel like a VIP who has been invited to a private party. Particularly since I am wearing my special jacket. My look is a million miles away from my beloved onesie.
The invitations only went out to Tomas’ friends and, when I enter the bar, I spot him talking to some people and wonder how close they are to him.
Tomas turns his head as soon as I walk in, and his eyes light up like they always do when he sees me. His smile tells me that he is pleased I have arrived. He waves and calls me over, which is a great relief as I don’t know anyone else here.
He kisses me on both cheeks, and I get the intoxicating smell of his aftershave again.
‘Hi, let me introduce you to my friends.’
Both men give me a friendly smile and shake my hand.
‘I’m Eric,’ says one of them.
‘Vlad,’ says the other.
They both look around Tomas’ age. Perhaps these are friends from his school days.
‘It’s good to finally meet you. Tomas has told us soooo much about you,’ says Vlad.
‘Yes, sooooo much,’ laughs Eric.
Tomas kicks Eric on the shin playfully.
‘What’s wrong? Come on, let’s be honest here,’ laughs Eric.
I wouldn’t mind knowing what he told them, but now isn’t the time to ask, as the three of them wave over to welcome a group of women who have walked in.
Tomas has hired some staff for the evening, and one of the waiters brings over a glass of prosecco. I swore I wouldn’t drink too much as I want to remember everything that Zuzana says about Aunt Grace when I speak to her. I have scanned the room but there is no sign of her so far. I have to find out when she will be here.
‘Is Zuzana here? And Albert?’ I ask.
‘They’re coming together. In fact, they should be here by now. They can’t be too far away.’
We both look towards the door as it opens with more guests, but it is another couple who walk in and then wave to Tomas.
‘I wish Zuzana and I could understand each other better. I’m sure she has stories about Marek and Grace. It would be so good to talk to her if only we could chat properly instead of just smiling, but I know you’re a bit busy to help with translating everything this evening.’
‘I’m never too busy for you.’ Tomas repeats his habit of putting his arm around my shoulders, and I feel joy in being so close to him again.
‘Gosh, I forgot to thank you for this incredible jacket,’ I say, as Tomas almost gets tangled on a sequin. ‘What a wonderful surprise! It really is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe you bought it for me.’
‘Only the best for you. It’s to thank you for coming into our lives. We’ve loved having you. You also worked your magic helping me here.’ Tomas strokes the top of my shoulder, and I feel like grabbing hold of him but refrain from doing so. He needs more time to sort his life out.
The bar is almost full to capacity when I see Albert walk in with Zuzana. As soon as I finish the smoked salmon canapé I am nibbling, I plan on saying hello. However, for the next ten minutes, Vlad and Eric chat away telling me stories about the history of Prague and asking what I think of the city they are so proud of. They recount funny stories about their school days and include me in their conversations as though I know the people they talk of. Vlad and Eric are so warm and make sure to look at me as they chat away. Despite not knowing them, they make me feel as though I am one of the gang.
I laugh along with their jokes and tell them how fantastic I think Prague is and how it compares to Wales. They are so entertaining that I could spend the whole evening with them.
However, Vlad spots someone he knows, and so he and Eric both leave us alone for a moment. I’m about to tell Tomas what lovely friends he has when he spots one of his suppliers who has been invited. I decide that it is probably the time to excuse myself and head over to Albert and Zuzana.
