Room 55, page 15
Villy fell silent. Anna thought she caught the gleam of tears in his blue eyes, but it could have been a trick of the light, which poured in now through the great window. She wanted to know more about life in his childhood home.
‘I only remember certain events, but I remember them so well that they’ll follow me to the grave. Little things, like him making me eat worms and snails. I remember him one time, pushing them into my mouth, probably five or six of them.’
Anna felt her stomach turn in disgust.
‘What do you think made him do these things to you?’
Villy was silent. The whirr of the fan in the room became audible.
‘Jealousy is the only thing I can think of. I think some of it was about Sara. She preferred me over him. He really hated me for it.’
Rivalry between the boys over the attention of the sister and parents. It was just as she’d anticipated.
‘Did you ever try to be his friend?’
‘I don’t remember much. I remember Greta would remind us that he was the real son, and that I wasn’t.’
‘How did that make you feel?’
‘I found ways to survive there.’
‘Did he ever threaten your life?’
‘He’d force me to do things and threaten to kill me if I told anyone. We were at the lake one day, and he held my head underwater until I couldn’t breathe. When I came home with wet clothes, he lied to Greta and Gösta that I’d been clumsy and fallen in, and they shouted at me. They punished me that night by forcing me to sleep in my wet things.’
Villy explained about his lonely attic room, and how the other family members had lived on the ground floor. Anna began to make a mental portrait of the man in front of her. Someone always trying to be perfect, in an effort to hide the defects. He’d spent his whole life trying to be normal. But had this always been doomed to fail? She rolled her pen between her fingers.
‘I felt left out, of course, but the attic was where I could be completely alone. I would put a chair against the door so that he couldn’t come in, and I’d read the magazines that I found in the bin. I’ve always enjoyed reading, you know.’
‘You say that some things you remember clearly, while others you’ve completely forgotten.’
Villy caught his breath. He tried to say something, but there were no words. For a second, his eyes rolled back in his head, so that only the whites could be seen. Anna recoiled in discomfort and quickly offered him some water, filling a plastic cup from a nearby jug.
‘Do you mind if we finish for the day?’
Anna nodded. Guiltily relieved, she got up and walked out.
Anna called Lina as she left the room.
‘I met with Villy today. He had reasons for murdering his foster brother.’ She spoke in a barely audible whisper. She passed a window and watched as the trees swayed in the wind.
‘There’s always a reason. No one ever commits a crime without a reason. Money, drugs, jealousy…’ Lina replied, cynically. There was something unusual in her voice, something very unlike herself.
‘Are you all right, by the way?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. I have a lot on with my patients.’
Anna went back into her office, dug out Ronny’s drawings from the filing cabinet and went outside for some fresh air.
‘Wait. Both Villy’s and Ronny’s names are here, with their national insurance numbers.’
‘Yes, I saw it too. Don’t know what that’s about at all. Ronny was a schizophrenic, so he’s hardly the most reliable source.’
Anna noticed a curtness in Lina’s response and decided to drop the subject of Ronny.
‘Villy was repeatedly abused as a child, and his brother tried to kill him.’
‘We can consider that with the benefit of hindsight, but it has no leverage in the legal system. We know that. No one has the legal right to kill. Other than certain states, of course.’
‘Yes, but it feels so unjust. He wanted vengeance against someone who’d made his life hell in childhood. What I don’t know is whether Villy is sick or sane’
‘Well, you can forget that question,’ Lina replied snappily. ‘Villy’s been investigated, convicted and he’s definitely sick.’
‘But why did he murder his brother as an adult? I don’t get that.’
‘I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right, Sherlock. Why act now?’
What had induced Villy to kill his brother? Why not earlier? These questions were exactly the type that Bjurberg didn’t want her engaging with. Just then she saw that she’d missed a call from Bengt and wondered if something had turned up.
Just before they hung up, Lina warned her.
‘Don’t become another psychologist scandal. You’ll be screwed forever.’
With those words still ringing in her ears, she stood for some minutes and looked up at the windows. She went back inside. She thought about how she was free to go outside whenever she pleased, and how the convicts could only walk a lap around the building under heavy supervision. Would she ever have been able to kill someone?
Anna was just about to close her laptop and pack up her things when she heard someone say her name.
‘I’ve just had a call from Villy’s nurse. She says that he isn’t doing well after your session earlier.’
She spun around in her chair and saw a troubled-looking Vinterberg in the doorway.
‘What did he say?’
‘I’d advise you to take care of it right away.’ Vinterberg turned on her heel.
Anna felt the anxiety welling up inside. This wasn’t good. She dialled the number of his department. The nurse answered and said that Villy had asked for an emergency session with her.
She hesitated momentarily, wondering if she needed Miro’s permission, but took initiative and replied that she’d be there right away. She cast an eye over the envelope from Ronny’s room, pulled out Ronny’s family tree and tucked it into her notepad. She became aware in this moment that she was overstepping the professional bounds of a psychologist, but for one reason or another, she completely ignored this. She’d deal with the consequences later, come what may.
Villy was grey in the face as he stood at the doorway.
‘I didn’t have time to tell you everything.’
The nurse pointed to a room. They went in and sat down.
Anna was completely out of her depth. She was so unsure of how to approach this as a psychologist, but Villy seemed so determined to tell his story.
‘One day, my brother opened the covering of a well in the neighbour’s garden. The neighbour was out of town, you see. He’d picked up a knife that Gösta used for woodwork. He threatened me with it, held me and forced me to…’
She thought she heard a waver in his voice as he said this. He fell silent again.
‘What happened?’ Anna tried as carefully as she could to nudge the conversation further.
‘He forced me to sit in the bucket, suspended by the chain. He kept the knife to my throat, like this.’ Villy demonstrated with a forefinger, indicating the tip against his Adam’s apple. ‘He said that he’d now be rid of me forever. And then, he released the ratchet, and down I went. Everything was black, and I couldn’t see anything. I was left hanging there. Eventually I found a slab poking out from the side, and I grabbed onto it, hoping it was part of a staircase, but it wasn’t. I just stayed there. He cranked and jerked at the bucket, and I eventually lost my balance. If I hadn’t held onto the slab in the wall, I’d have fallen into the well and drowned.’
‘Oh my God. What happened after that?’
‘I screamed and shouted, of course, but all was completely black. It was damp in there, and my arms were exhausted. I eventually found my footing by digging my shoes between the stones.’
‘That’s terrible.’ Anna shuddered to think of this child, fighting for his life in the abyss. ‘What happened then?’
‘I screamed and I screamed. I don’t know what happened, but suddenly there seemed to be some light coming from the top. It was Sara. She screamed down at me, and I screamed back.’
‘Could she help you up?’
‘I yelled at her to turn the crank so I could grab hold of the bucket, but when she did, the bucket was gone. He’d taken it away. But she was able get the chain down to me, and from there I managed to tie a knot in the end so that I could get a foothold. I shouted for her to turn the crank, but it was too much for her. She was frightened. She’d only have been about seven years old at the time.’
Villy told her that Sara had run away for help and come back with Greta.
‘Your mother must have been horrified?’
‘No, she was angry and shouted that I had only myself to blame for climbing down a well, but that she’d give me another chance to be a good boy. So, she hauled me up. From that day on, I hated every one of them. Apart from Sara.’
Villy moistened his lips. His mouth was very dry, despite the water he’d been given. He rubbed his palms together, and Anna held out a tissue.
‘Would you like to share more, or should we leave it there?’
‘We can leave it there. When I think about it too much, I feel sick. I’ve never talked about this before. To anyone.’
Anna looked at the tall, well-built man in front of her. She had the overwhelming urge to gather him into a warm hug. She wanted to comfort him like a child. This would have been inappropriate, of course. She instead sat up straight and wrapped up the conversation with as gentle and neutral an expression as she could manage.
Chapter 92
Lina
Lina was so fatigued from anxiety that she could barely move another muscle. She burrowed into the sofa when she got home and fell asleep. Some hours later, she awoke with heart palpitations.
A new worry had begun to gnaw at her. No. Surely, she wasn’t pregnant.
She looked at her calendar, began counting the days from her last period and found the day that she would have ovulated. She went over and over her calculations and realised it could only be Miro. She’d used protection with Fredrik.
She held her head in her hands. Her heart pounded as if trying to break out of her chest.
She didn’t feel like going to buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy here in Säter, but she knew that ordering online would take a few days. She decided to wait until she was back in Stockholm, where she could be anonymous. By that time, she told herself, she’d already have had her period and would be feeling much better.
‘It’s all right,’ she said aloud. She’d learned to mother herself and knew how to calm herself down. ‘It’s going to be fine, Lina. Everything will be fine,’ she said, patting herself on the cheek.
Chapter 93
Miro
Miro was almost certain that Lina had something to do with Ronny’s murder. He’d always been able to read her like a book, and her behaviour had shifted drastically since Ronny’s death.
Of course, as a doctor, overwhelming guilt is common in such cases. You mercilessly dissect your own actions when something goes wrong. But this was different. He wondered to himself whether to ask her more, or to lay low. For his own sake, he knew that he should raise it with Bjurberg but didn’t want to unleash even more chaos with things as they were. It was also imperative that his relationship with her was kept under wraps.
He was worried. At least he wouldn’t be having any more sex with her for the foreseeable, so he wouldn’t get into trouble himself. If their little fling came to light, his career would dissolve in seconds. It was a matter of switching off the reptilian part of his brain and engaging the frontal cortex from now on.
He turned on the TV just as the headlines appeared on the nightly news.
‘Police are investigating the death of a convict at the Säter Mental Hospital in Dalarna. The incident is being treated as murder.’
Two sentences, and the news anchor switched to another domestic news item.
Miro’s brow furrowed. Yes, there was still everything left to play for. The game had only just begun.
Chapter 94
Anna
Anna was having a hard time shaking off her last conversation with Villy. She felt so sorry for him, and it was clearly wrong of her to feel this way. She couldn’t involve her own feelings, but she wished she could show him the family tree. What if there was some truth to it? What if there was some chance at discovering the family he’d never known?
She tossed the chopped vegetables into the pot and stirred as they began to sizzle. She opened a jar of coconut milk, poured in the tinned tomatoes and stirred in a spoonful of curry paste. The smell of the spices rose in the kitchen. It gave her a pleasant feeling of home. She looked out over the courtyard through the window. She felt so cosy here in her little apartment, sheltered from the cold autumn winds. She was safe here, in spite of the chaos.
She smiled to herself. What had happened at Säter was something out of a book or TV series. She’d thought of Twin Peaks ever since she first came here: there was the timber mill, the forests, the colourful cast of characters, the quaint little town centre, and a gloomy old hospital that towered over everything. The newer buildings were drabber, of course, and far less imposing.
She reached into the pot and felt that the broccoli was beginning to soften. Her phone rang and she saw that it was Bengt. She’d forgotten to ring him back. She picked up the call.
‘Well, I’ve come across several old articles on one particular case. There are some strikingly similar details to those in the letters. If you wouldn’t mind coming over now, I’ll show you what I’ve found.’
Anna glanced up at the kitchen clock. It was already very late, and she needed a moment of quiet tonight. This woman had been missing for almost half a century; another twenty-four hours wouldn’t hurt.
‘Can I see you tomorrow?’
‘Sure, that’ll be fine. I’m at the editorial office. Just ring me before you drop by.’
She ladled some of the curry into a deep plate and ate with enjoyment.
Chapter 95
Villy
Villy had gone to bed early but couldn’t sleep. He wondered if he should ask to end the therapy sessions. Some things were just too horrible to think about.
He wanted to look forwards, not backwards. He couldn’t risk destabilising himself like this. He needed to demonstrate health if he was to be granted leave, never mind a trial and release date. He was better off asking to end the therapy sessions as soon as possible. Yes, that was the right thing to do.
He turned out the light and pulled the blanket over his shoulders.
Chapter 96
Nils
Nils awoke needing the toilet, as he always did at night. As he got up, he was dazzled by a bright blue glow moving towards him. He was thrown backwards and fell back into bed.
Was it his heart? Was he about to die? He opened his eyes. he was still here. It wasn’t his time yet. Everything suspended for a few seconds. He wasn’t sure if he was alive, dead or had lost consciousness.
Suddenly, he saw the shapes of the bedroom come into focus again. He managed to haul himself upright. He grabbed the phone and dialled the emergency line. He sat on the edge of the bed and felt the blood pounding in his temples. He was very dizzy. He needed to unlock the door so that the paramedics could enter.
He staggered towards the door and opened the lock. The dizziness made him unsteady in the hallway, and he bumped into the walls. Finally, he collapsed to the floor.
Chapter 97
Anna
Anna had awoken from a deep sleep. She saw the world from her window, coated in a fine layer of downy frost. Winter was almost here, and the snow was due any second now. She’d always had a strange feeling of excitement on the first frosty morning of winter.
It was a Friday, but there was no rush for the train today, and she savoured the rare sense of calm. The grass was a sea of stiff white blades, and she watched as the sun melted the frost, which fell in silvery droplets from the branches. The mist rose from her mouth and nostrils as she walked.
On her walk to the clinic, she decided that she’d show Villy the sketch. She’d deal with the consequences later. It was all she could give this poor man. Of course, this went completely beyond the pale, but who was going to find out? She had a duty of confidentiality. Besides, if he were to say anything, who would believe a convicted murderer with dissociative personality disorder? It felt very sinister to think in this way, but she reassured herself that the rapport between them was enough for him to trust her.
She heard a car horn behind her, and she spun round to see who it was. She heard a shout and realised it was Miro. Damn, she thought, as she waved at him. How many different cars could one man need?
‘Would you like to get lunch together today?’
Anna thought about the curry she’d brought with her, sloshing at this moment in a thermos flask in her bag, but decided she could always eat it tonight. ‘Yes, sounds good.’
She gave him a thumbs up, and he signalled that he’d call her later.
The smell of coffee filled the staffroom. In ritualistic fashion, everyone took part in the Friday brunch. Anna was seated next to one of the occupational therapists, who talked at length of her plans for the garden. The thought struck her like lightning.
She thought of the neighbour’s garden from Villy’s story, and of the well. What was the phrase that Villy had used? ‘The chain’? She hadn’t thought of it until now. She rose to her feet, almost toppling the chair, and apologised to the bewildered therapist through a half-chewed mouthful of toast.
