Flame, page 9
“It’s not fair, is it? To fall in love and not be able to give it your all.”
“You did.”
He gives a scoffing laugh. “I fought it every step of the way.”
“You had issues. The fire. Floyd Jolly.”
“I did. And now you have issues as well. My best advice? If you truly love Callie—if you can see a life with her—she has to come first.”
“Interesting, coming from a man who just said he’s not telling his wife about our gas leak situation.”
Dale exhales. “Point taken.”
“Which means…” I pause a moment, hating what has to come next. “I have to end things with Callie.”
“It doesn’t mean that.”
“Of course it does. I can’t tell her everything.”
“You can. If you trust her.”
“Then you have to tell Ashley. Except seriously, the fewer people who know what’s going on, the better. John Lambert’s word is good. If he takes us down, he goes down with us. Ashley and Callie can both be trusted.”
“You’re not hearing me, Don. I do trust Ashley. I trust her with my life. I just don’t want to burden her.”
“She won’t consider it a burden.”
He sighs. “I know.”
“Look. I’ve struggled with this. Believe me. I love Callie Pike. But it was quick love, you know?”
“I know. It was the same with Ashley and me.”
“Right. I know that, so let me ask you this. When it comes like a lightning bolt like that, how do you know it’s real?”
“You just know. When I look back, I can’t recall not loving Ashley. It hit me when we first met.”
“You say that now, but what if she’d turned out to be a huge bitch?”
He laughs. “That’s just it. I already knew she wasn’t. Or I think I did.”
“You didn’t. You were attracted to her, but you didn’t know she was the one until you got to know her, which you did do very quickly.”
“I did. But it’s real. I never doubted it, and I was ready to let her go because I didn’t want to drag her into my screwed-up life.”
“Then you know exactly where I’m coming from.”
“God, do I. But Donny, don’t give Callie up. If you love her the way I love Ashley—and I think you do. I can see it in your eyes. You can’t let her go, man. Let her in.”
“I want to. I just… I guess I just don’t feel like I have the time. All this other shit requires me twenty-four seven. It’s like I said. I need to be cloned about ten times to deal with it all.”
My phone buzzes with a text, and my heart nearly stops. “Damn. Please let Dad be okay.”
I pull the phone out of my pocket.
It’s not about Dad.
It’s a text from Callie.
I’m in the office. Are you
coming in today? Is everything
okay? Where are you?
“Is it Dad?” Dale asks anxiously.
“No, thank God. It’s Callie. But I thought I…” Then I see my text to her this morning. I forgot to hit send. “Jesus, fuck.”
“What?”
“I texted her this morning that I was heading into the city, but I didn’t hit send.”
“Call her. Make plans with her tonight. You deserve it.”
I’ve already punched in the number.
“Donny!” Callie’s voice is frantic. “Where are you? Are you all right?”
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I thought I texted you this morning, but I didn’t hit send.”
“You’re kidding. I did the exact same thing. I texted you when I got in but didn’t hit send.”
“I guess we both have a lot on our minds,” I say. “I’m in Grand Junction. Dad had to go back in surgery this morning, but he’s okay.”
“Oh my God! What happened?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it…tonight. Okay? Dinner? At my house? Mom’s still here, so we’ll be alone.”
A short pause. She has to think about it? What’s going on?
“Okay. Yeah. I’d like that, Donny. Do you want me to bring in food from town?”
“No. I’ll text Darla. See you there around seven?”
“Sure.”
“Good. I love you, Callie.”
“I love you too. Bye. And Donny?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever scare me that way again.”
“I love you,” I say again, intentionally not making the promise she asks for. I feel like a giant dick as I end the call.
I turn to Dale. “You and Ashley should come for dinner.”
“I just heard you tell Callie you’d be alone.”
“We will be. Later. But if I’m going to level with Callie, you’re going to level with Ashley. We need their help.”
“Don…”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
“Except we’re both ganders.”
“Fucking semantics. Christ, Dale. For a guy who couldn’t get through college, you’re the smartest man I know.”
“I think about that sometimes.”
“About what? That you’re the smartest man I know?”
He scoffs. “Hell, no. And not college, either. But you’re brilliant. Look how well you did for yourself. Genetically, we’re not Steels, so where did our smarts come from?”
“Mom, I guess.”
“Mom was a lovely person, but she was hardly brilliant. She worked as a cashier at a grocery store.”
“Circumstances. She didn’t go to college, and she didn’t have a rich family.”
“Still, as you say, I didn’t go to college either, but I’m a brilliant winemaker.”
“You learned from Uncle Ry.”
“True. For God’s sake, Don, will you work with me here?”
“I know what you want me to say. That our birth father must have had intelligence. I’m not buying. How much is nature and how much is nurture? We grew up as Steels. We learned from the Steels. They taught us everything we know. Leave Floyd Fucking Jolly out of it.”
He nods. “Good enough. I suppose it doesn’t matter how we’re born. It’s how we live.”
“Absolutely.”
But I wonder…
How can we live with ourselves after what we did to the Murphys?
Chapter Twenty
Callie
I arrive at the Steel house right at seven—after pulling over and sitting in my car for ten minutes to avoid being early.
I don’t know why I’m playing this game. Donny and I love each other.
Just a lot on my mind.
I should be with Rory, dealing with Pat Lamone. Instead? I’m here, and I know where the evening will lead. Indeed, I want it to lead there.
Sex is a great escape.
The reality, though, is that there’s no escape for me. Not from my past, and not from Pat Lamone.
I knock on the door, and Fred and Ginger, Talon and Jade’s two labs, bound to the doorway as I peer through the side window.
Then Donny, looking particularly scrumptious in jeans and a simple T-shirt, his feet bare, walks to the door and opens it.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he drawls.
Sweetheart. The endearment spears right into my heart. He’s never called me sweetheart before. He’s called me baby a few times, but sweetheart? Never.
“Hey yourself,” I return.
He pulls me inside and into a hug. Different, but so comforting. Sure, he usually grabs me and plants a raw kiss on my lips, but he’s in a different mood this evening. It’s coming off him in waves.
And I’m okay with that.
I’m in a different mood as well.
He’s got his dad on his mind. He’s worried.
I’ve got Rory and Pat Lamone and past indiscretions on mine.
And…I’m worried too.
He kisses my ear and whispers, “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I say into his shoulder.
He releases me, kisses me quickly on the lips, and grabs me by the hand, leading me into the spacious country kitchen. “Darla made red snapper.”
I gasp in mock surprise. “Not Steel beef?”
“Remember our conversation in Aspen about how I like fish as much as beef? And turkey as much as beef?”
“What about chicken and duck?” I counter. “What about tofu?”
“Chicken and duck are great.” Then he makes a face. “Don’t give me that vegan stuff, though.”
I smile. “I actually don’t mind vegan if it’s done well. But I’ll always be a meat and fish eater.”
“You’ll like tonight’s meal, then. Darla bakes it with garlic and fines herbes.”
Garlic? I guess if we both have garlic breath, it won’t matter. I love the stuff.
“She also made us a green salad and sides of fingerling potatoes and broccolini.”
I inhale. “It all smells great.” Then I cast my gaze to the table.
It’s set for four.
I tamp down my disappointment. “Who’s joining us?”
“Just Dale and Ashley, and only for dinner. We’ll be alone later.”
“I didn’t mean…”
“Sure you did.” He cups my cheek, thumbs my lower lip. “And so do I. I want to be alone with you, Callie. I need to be alone with you.”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“I love you,” he says. “Nothing has changed.”
“I…didn’t think it had.” And I hope to God, if he ever finds out about Pat Lamone, that it won’t.
“Didn’t you?”
“No. Not really. I did wonder why you didn’t show up at work this morning, but I believe you when you said you didn’t hit send on the text, because I did the same thing.”
“Great minds…” He laughs.
More like cluttered minds. He had a lot on his this morning, and God knows my mind is cluttered with things I’d prefer never to deal with again.
“Yeah. Weird that we both did it.”
Except it’s not weird at all. It makes perfect sense.
“Everything’s ready.” He looks out the French doors. “Here come Dale and Ashley now.” He pulls open the doors.
The dogs rush out in a tangle of wagging tails and panting tongues, and Dale and Ashley enter.
Ashley gives Donny a hug, and then she turns to me with her arms outstretched.
Weird. We hardly know each other, but I give her a hug.
When I pull back, she says, “You get used to the hugging thing. It was weird for me at first too.”
My cheeks warm, and I can’t think of a reply.
Dale doesn’t hug me. Just nods and says, “Hi, Callie.”
“Hi, Dale.”
“Everything’s ready,” Donny says. “Let’s sit. I brought up a bottle of something red for you, Dale, even though we’re having fish.”
“Red goes with everything.”
“Says the master winemaker.” Ashley laughs.
“It does. That white with fish thing is an old wives’ tale. There’s so much more variety with red wine.”
“My man speaks the truth,” Ashley avers. “Are you a wine drinker, Callie?”
“I’m mostly a Diet Coke drinker. Or beer. But wine is okay. I just don’t know much about it.”
“If you want to learn,” Donny says, “I can’t think of two finer teachers than Dale and Ashley.”
My cheeks warm further. I swear flames are erupting beneath my skin. Honestly? I wouldn’t mind learning about wine. I wouldn’t mind getting to know Ashley Steel better either. She seems like a lovely person.
But I’ve got so much else on my mind. Might be nice to think about something else for a chance, and wine tasting fits the bill.
“What the heck?” I finally say. “Pour me a glass, and you can begin my lessons tonight.”
“No one will mind if I just have water, right?” Donny says.
“Not at all,” Dale says. “We already know you’re a lost cause.”
“I’m pretty much a blank slate,” I tell them, “so go for it. What are we drinking tonight?”
Donny grabs the bottle from the counter. “This is…aged Cabernet Sauvignon.”
Dale and Ashley both roll their eyes. Totally in unison. It’s eerie.
“Aged Cab is way too dark for red snapper,” Dale says. “We need a light red. Do you have any of the Ruby in the basement? It would be perfect.”
“Good thing I didn’t open this yet.” Donny picks up the bottle of Cab. “Be right back.”
A few minutes later, he returns with a bottle of the wine Dale called Ruby.
“This is Uncle Ryan’s Southern Rhône blend,” Dale says. “He named it after Aunt Ruby, of course.”
“That’s sweet,” I say.
“I agree with my hubby,” Ashley says. “This will be great with the meal tonight. It’s lighter and less tannic than a lot of reds. A big aged Cab is best with a robust meal, like—”
“Steel beef?” I finish for her.
“Exactly! I think you’re going to take to wine just fine, Callie.”
I smile. I already like Ashley. I just wish we were getting to know each other in better circumstances.
“I’ll take that.” Dale grabs the bottle from Donny and expertly uncorks it. “The beauty of a light Rhône blend is that it doesn’t need to be decanted. We can enjoy it straight from the bottle.” He pours three glasses. “Sure I can’t tempt you, Don?”
Donny sighs. “What the hell? Maybe it’s time I tried once more to become the wine snob my big brother wants me to be. Sure, pour me a glass.”
Dale pours the fourth glass and then hands one to each of us. “Ashley, I’ll let you do the honors.”
“Sure.” Ashley picks up her glass by the stem. “Swirl the wine in the glass, Callie. First thing to take note of is the color.”
“It’s red,” I say.
She chuckles. “Very good. Light? Dark? Orangey? Purply?”
“Would you hate me if I said it looks like every other glass of red wine I’ve ever seen?” I smile hesitantly.
“Of course not. That’s a normal reaction. In fact, forget about color for now. We can’t accurately assess the color without having other wines to compare it with. Swirl it again and stick your nose into the glass. What do you smell?”
Ashley literally sticks her nose in the glass, almost coating the tip with wine. For real?
I swirl and do the same.
And unceremoniously dip the tip of my nose right in the red liquid.
I quickly move the glass as the wine drips from my nose.
Donny erupts in laughter. I shoot him a stink eye.
“That happens to everyone.” Ashley hands me a tissue.
“Or maybe my nose is just bigger than yours.”
“No, your nose is perfect. I wish mine were as nice as yours.”
Ashley is beautiful, and I can’t find a thing wrong with her nose. Still, I appreciate her compliment.
“Try again,” she says. “Just don’t go in so far.”
I begin—
“Swirl the wine first,” she says.
“Oh. Right. How many steps are there to wine tasting?” Frankly, I’d prefer to just drink it and realize it’s still okay but I’ll never love it.
“There can be many,” she says. “I’m giving you the condensed version.”
“My wife is almost a doctor of wine, after all.” Dale smiles.
“Try again, Cal,” Donny urges. “I’ll do it too.” He swirls his glass and inhales.
“What do you smell?” Ashley asks.
I inhale. I try. Really I do. “It smells like wine. Like alcohol.”
“It’s okay. Let me give you some ideas. I’m getting strong red currant.”
“I’m not sure what a red currant smells like,” I say.
“Fair enough. Try strawberry. You know that scent.”
I nod and smell the wine again as I swirl it. Again, I get mostly the smell of wine, but I close my eyes, determined to learn something so I don’t look like a complete idiot in front of two wine scholars. “I’m getting something. I’m not sure it’s strawberry. Maybe…” I sniff again. “Maybe blueberry?”
“That’s black currant,” Ashley says. “Excellent! Ready to taste?”
“Sure.” I swirl it again and take a drink.
“Let it sit on your tongue for a few seconds,” Ashley says, “and think about how it feels in your mouth.”
I can’t talk because my mouth is full, but for God’s sake, it feels like liquid in my mouth.
“Now swallow,” she says.
I obey.
“So?”
“Well…it’s good.” I’m not lying. It does taste nice. Better than any other wine I’ve drunk.
“Anything else? How did it feel against your tongue?”
“Kind of…silky? I guess?”
“Good. Very apt for a lighter red. Flavors?”
“It was tasty. To me, it tastes like wine.” I take another sip and try harder. I swallow. “I guess I can taste the blueberries.”
“Good. We’re obviously not looking for exact flavor panels. You’re never going to take a sip of wine and say, ‘that tastes exactly like blueberries.’ It’s more of a nuance. A reminder. Kind of like the smell of honeysuckle on the breeze. Think of it that way. Just a waft of honeysuckle trailing along with the wind. It’s not like you’ve got your nose in the honeysuckle flower. It’s just a remembrance.”
Dale smiles. “That’s a brilliant way to put it, baby.”
“Well, I am almost a doctor of wine.” Ashley smirks.
I take another sip. “You know, I may just begin to appreciate wine.”
“Great!” Dale says. “You can teach my little brother here. Maybe you can give up the froufrou drinks, Don.”
“Hey, I love Mom’s margaritas. In fact, I wish I had one now.”
“Oh, no,” Ashley says. “You promised you’d try the wine tonight. I’m going to take you through the same exercise Callie just did.”
