Fate, page 6
“Not a problem,” I said.
“Thanks,” Daphne murmured.
The server came by and took our order. Daphne and Patty ordered pizza with mushrooms and black olives. I wasn’t sure I could be a vegetarian, even for a night, so Murph and I ordered the supreme. A man needed his protein. There were limits to what I’d do for a woman, even one as beautiful and interesting as Daphne Wade.
Patty was a chatterbox and engaged Sean and me most of the evening. Daphne stayed quiet. Although she hadn’t been overly talkative last night, this was a definite difference.
The server laid the check down and I grabbed it. I had unlimited funds, and I enjoyed treating my friends. They were always very appreciative.
“Thanks, dude,” Murph said.
“Yeah, thanks so much,” Patty said. “I have to agree with you, Daph. This pizza was spectacular.”
Daphne smiled at her roommate and nodded. “Told you.”
How I wished that smile had been for me.
“It was pretty damned good,” Murph agreed. “You ladies up for a nightcap back at our place?”
“Sounds great to me,” Patty said.
I turned to Daphne. “You don’t have to drink, but I hope you’ll come.”
“No thank you,” she said.
“Come on, Daph,” Patty urged. “It’ll be fun.”
Daphne arched her eyebrows at her roommate. Something wasn’t right. She cleared her throat. “I promised Ennis I’d meet him and Dirk for a drink.”
“Oh. Okay. I guess it’s just me, guys,” Patty said.
I looked Daphne straight in the eye. “Cancel.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Why should I?”
“Because I’m asking you to. Because I want to spend the evening with you.”
“I believe in honoring my commitments.”
“You’re not breaking a commitment,” I said. “You’re postponing it.”
“I don’t see why I should—”
“Do it. Please.”
Her gaze never wavered from mine. She was looking at me. Looking into me. Looking for something, and I wasn’t sure what.
“I…can’t.”
I got up from the booth and extended my hand to her. “Come outside with me for a minute. I want to talk to you.”
“We’re leaving anyway,” Daphne said. “You just paid the check. Thank you, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. Now come talk with me.”
“Go ahead,” Murphy said. “Patty and I are happy to hang here for a few.”
“Come on,” I urged.
When she put her hand in mine, sparks shot through me. She stood and I led her outside. We found a bench a few yards away from the entrance.
“Sit,” I said.
She sighed and sat down.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “I thought we had something special starting.”
“So did I.”
“Then what’s wrong? Did you change your mind?”
“I didn’t,” she said, “but apparently you did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Patty told me you were with a woman last night.”
Shit. “That didn’t mean—”
She held up her hand to stop me. “Don’t. It doesn’t matter anyway. We just met. You’re way older than I am. I’d be a disappointment to you.”
“Daphne, you could never be a disappointment to me.”
“How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”
“I know you’re beautiful on the inside and out.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Are you kidding? You love animals so much that you’re willing to give up eating meat unless it’s humanely raised.”
“That was Ennis’s idea.”
Ennis? Why the hell did she have to mention Ennis? Was she attracted to that Brit? I remained calm. “It was?”
“Yeah. I love meat. I don’t want to give it up. He told me to do something about it, and Patty had the idea of her family sending us humanely raised pork from the farm.”
“But the idea came about because of your love of animals.”
“Yeah, but I never did anything before.”
“You’re eighteen. No one does anything when they’re a kid.”
“It…is a good idea.”
I smiled. “It is. And I’ll do you one better. You’re welcome to all the beef Murph and I have. We couldn’t possibly eat it all, and I promise you we treat our animals well.”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“I’m offering.”
“Offer it to your other women.”
“Daphne, I’m not interested in any other women. The girl at our place last night is from my past. She’s having a hard time letting go.”
Of course, I’d almost fucked her, but Daphne didn’t need to know that.
She bit her lip. “Like I said, I’d be a disappointment.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“I’m… I’m a virgin, Brad. I can’t give you sex.”
Her confession didn’t surprise me. I’d known instinctively that I had to go slow with Daphne. Something about the way she carried herself. Wendy and I had taken each other’s virginity long ago in high school when she was sixteen and I was seventeen. That had come with its own problems—none of which I wanted to think about at the moment.
“Who says I want sex?”
“You’re a guy, and you’re a senior in college. Of course you want sex.”
She wasn’t wrong, but for her, I was willing to forgo sex. For a while, anyway. Why? I couldn’t say. I just knew Daphne was something special, and the desire to protect her coiled through me in a way I didn’t fully understand.
“I’m not after sex with you.”
“What do you want, then?”
“Right now? I want you to postpone your drink with Prince Charles and spend the evening with me.”
She smiled at the Prince Charles remark. Her friend Ennis did sort of resemble the future monarch, with his wavy brown hair and blue eyes. He was better looking than the prince, though, which didn’t sit well with me.
“I wouldn’t feel right about that.”
I sighed. “All right. I tried. Keep tomorrow night open for me, okay?”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything.”
Chapter Thirteen
Daphne
I didn’t actually have plans with Ennis and Dirk. I certainly didn’t care if I ever saw Dirk again, but I did like Ennis a lot. I truly felt we could be friends. He’d been nothing but a gentleman. Hadn’t tried a thing with me, and so far, I wasn’t interested in him in that way.
Brad Steel, though? He was perfection. Male beauty like I’d never seen. Why he was interested in me mystified me. I was attractive, I knew, but I’d just told him I was a virgin and wasn’t interested in sex. From what I understood, that would send most college guys running.
I’d lied about having plans because of the woman Patty mentioned. If Brad Steel was already involved with someone, I didn’t want any part of him.
Except that I did.
I wanted him badly in a way I didn’t fully comprehend, which scared the daylights out of me.
Brad dropped me off back at the dorm, and Patty went home with them for the nightcap. I sighed. Had I made the right choice? Patty most likely wouldn’t be home again tonight, so I was alone. Another party was already starting in the lounge, but no way was I drinking again tonight. Or possibly ever. I wasn’t in any hurry to relive that nightmare.
I could call home, but then my mother would worry. I’d only been gone two days. She was such a mother hen, especially after the events of junior year.
I tried not to think about those days. I didn’t remember a lot of what went on during my hospitalization anyway, so thinking about it racked my nerves something awful. Losing a block of life was freaky, to say the least.
I remembered everything now. I forced myself to, from the important to the mundane. I didn’t ever want to lose a part of me again. For example, I remembered that Brad Steel was wearing a black T-shirt, jeans, and leather sandals when I met him. I remembered his feet were as perfect as the rest of him. I remembered the warmth of his hand, the feel of his firm lips on my own.
Yeah, and what I had for breakfast each day, and so forth. Never again would I lose a part of my mind. I was determined.
What would Brad Steel think if he knew I’d spent the majority of my junior year of high school in a mental hospital? Would he still be interested? That was a lot more to deal with than my virginity.
No matter how much I tried not to think of that time, when I was alone, it always crept into my mind. I could go down to the lounge, forget my woes in some more pink punch, if indeed that was what they were serving up tonight.
I forced myself to remember everything, though, and one thing I’d never forget was how I felt last night.
Never again.
But what to do?
I checked my hair in the mirror and decided to see what my next-door neighbors were up to. We’d done some “get to know you” activities today. I knocked on the door next to ours. No answer. Same for the door on the other side.
They were probably all down at the lounge party, where I didn’t want to go.
If I wanted company, that was where I needed to be. Why not? I didn’t have to drink. There was certainly no law forcing me to.
I went back to the room, braided my hair, and added a touch of lip gloss. Then I went to join the party.
“Hey, love!” Ennis brought me a cup.
I shook my head. “Not going there tonight.”
“Relax. It’s punch. You weren’t the only one who experienced the horrors of last night’s brew. Tonight it’s strictly add your own booze if you want it.”
I sniffed at the drink. “How can I be sure? I hardly tasted the liquor last night.”
“Scout’s honor,” he said. “I poured it myself.”
“All right.” I took a drink. It was sweeter than last night’s, which I guessed meant it wasn’t spiked. I hoped, anyway.
Sex wasn’t the only thing I had no experience with. Drinking was another, obviously.
“Not with the caveman tonight, eh?” Ennis said.
“Caveman?”
Ennis pointed to his jaw.
“Oh, Brad. He’s really sorry about that, by the way.”
“No hard feelings. He seems to like you a lot. I’m surprised you’re not with him.”
“I was. We had dinner, but that’s over.”
“I suppose I don’t stand a chance against him, do I?”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t realize…”
“What? That I might be interested in you? Daphne, you’re the most beautiful girl in this room. In any room, actually.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
“You really have no idea how spectacular you are, do you?”
“I mean…I guess I’m attractive…”
“Attractive? You’re stunning. You’re tall and lean with perfect curves. You’re supermodel material, love.”
I warmed all over. “I just… I don’t know. I’m just me, you know?”
“I’ll settle for friendship, of course. You’re a lovely person.”
“Thank you. You’re my only friend here so far.”
“What about your roommate? The cute little redhead?”
“Patty. She’s nice, but she’s…”
“Off with a guy?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“So why aren’t you, then?”
“I’m just not ready for any of that. Nothing serious, anyway. Seems like all these college guys are after sex.”
That got a laugh out of him. “Can’t say you’re wrong about that.”
“I’m not interested in going there yet.”
“No hurry. Anyone who tries to make you go faster than you’re comfortable with isn’t who you need.”
“I know.”
“And the caveman…?”
“I’m here, aren’t I? He’s not forcing me into anything, but he wants to see me tomorrow night.”
“And what do you want, love?”
“I don’t know.”
Except that I did. I wanted to be with Brad Steel. I wanted to give him everything he wanted. Everything I wasn’t ready to give.
“Well, hang with me. Hands off, I promise. But if you ever change your mind…”
I smiled. “Nice to know. You look sort of like a better-looking Prince Charles. Sound like him too.” Funny I hadn’t noticed the resemblance until Brad pointed it out.
“The Queen’s English. I was raised in London. I’m not a lord, but my father is. Technically I’m the Honourable Ennis Ainsley.” He bowed.
“Really? That’s cool.”
“Just means my father was granted a life peerage. I can’t inherit it, though, and my children won’t have any title.”
“Well, it’s cool anyway.” I took another drink.
A cute blonde joined us. “Hey, Ennis!”
“Hi, Molly.” He returned her hug. “This is Daphne.”
“Hi!” Molly said excitedly.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
She turned back to Ennis. Clearly, he was the one she’d come to talk to. They chatted about nothing in particular, and I felt myself fade into the background.
Invisible.
I was invisible.
I’d felt this way since the hospitalization. Crowds like this ate me up. Consumed me. Swallowed me.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
I jolted. A tall guy touched my shoulder.
“Hi,” I said.
“Want to dance?”
I looked around. “Are people dancing?”
“A few.”
Ennis was still chatting with Molly. My nerves skittered. Did I want to dance? I’d never danced with a guy before. I didn’t go to prom. No one asked me, and I wasn’t going to go alone or with friends.
Besides, I didn’t have any close friends in high school. Most of them lost interest in me when I disappeared junior year.
What was the harm? He seemed nice.
“Sure.”
He led me over to a small area where a few couples were dancing slowly to the music. He pulled me close, and I copied what the other girls were doing, wrapping my arms around his neck.
The music was louder over here, so we didn’t talk. I just danced with a nameless stranger.
He was a gentleman. Didn’t try to touch anything he shouldn’t. Not that I thought he would. I wasn’t sure why I was hyperaware of things he shouldn’t touch, but I was.
And he didn’t.
When the song ended, he said, “Want to get a drink?”
“I’m not drinking tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Last night’s mixture had a detrimental effect.”
“Yeah, that stuff was brutal. Can’t blame you.”
“What’s your name?”
“Leif. You?”
“Daphne.”
“Nice to meet you, Daphne.”
“You too.”
“I’ll get you a virgin.”
My brows nearly flew off my forehead. “A what?”
“A virgin drink. You know, no alcohol?”
“Oh. Yeah, thanks.”
What was wrong with me? I had virgin on the brain. I felt like it was stamped across my forehead in big red letters.
Leif returned with two drinks and handed me one.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome. What’s your major?”
Classic college question. To which I had no answer. “I’m not sure yet. I’m going to get all my requirements out of the way this year and see what interests me the most.”
“You must be interested in something.”
Was I? I used to enjoy writing, but I got out of the habit when I lost so much time during junior year. Writing was difficult when you couldn’t remember parts of your own life.
“English, I think,” I said. “Maybe philosophy. How about you?”
“Engineering. It’s a five-year program, so I’ll be here an extra year.”
“Oh. Interesting.” Though it really wasn’t.
“My father and my older brother are both engineers. It’s what’s expected.”
“Do you want to be an engineer?”
“Doesn’t really matter what I want.”
“Of course it matters.”
He laughed and took a drink. “Dad’s paying the bills, so I study what he wants. That’s the deal.”
“What if that weren’t the deal?” I asked.
“It is.”
“But if it weren’t, what would you study?”
“Science.”
“What kind of science.”
“Biology. Zoology. I’d like to be a veterinarian.”
“Then that’s what you should be.”
He scoffed. “Not in the cards.”
“It should be.”
“It’s not. Want to dance again?”
“No,” a voice said from behind me. “The next dance is mine.”
Chapter Fourteen
Brad
Jealousy raged through me. I’d expected to find Daphne with Prince Charles. That was who she’d said her plans were with, but he was across the room making out with a blonde. This guy was new.
She’d lied to me.
“Who are you?” the sandy-haired guy asked.
“Brad Steel. Let’s dance, Daphne.”
“I—”
I pulled her away before she could finish. Her drink sloshed as we walked swiftly out of the crowded lounge and outside. Darkness had fallen, and stars dotted the night sky. I grabbed the red cup out of her hand. “You’re drinking? After last night?”
“It’s virgin,” she said.
I sniffed it and took a drink. She was right.
“You have to be careful,” I said. “Those guys in there will try to get you drunk and then…”
“And then…what? I’m eighteen. I can take care of myself.”
God, she was beautiful. So beautiful, and so naïve. I was only four years older, but those four years made all the difference.
If anyone hurt her…
If anyone hurt her…what? What would I do about it, and why should I even care?
