Melody, page 20
“I got that vibe from the boots.” Zane smiles.
“I think he asked us, Jess,” Maddie says.
Again, Brianna says nothing.
“I’d rather hear about you,” Maddie says to Zane.
“Sure. Most of what you read in the gossip rags about me has no merit at all. I trained as a concert pianist. Jett and I went to grad school together. That’s where we met. He’s a classical singer. When neither of us got anywhere in the classics, we decided to try rock and roll, and we were discovered by a woman who became our benefactor.”
“That’s exactly how it was for Rory,” Maddie says. “She wanted an opera career too, but it didn’t work out for her.”
“And you?” he asks me.
“I’ve always been a rocker. A true rocker.” I can’t help puffing out my chest a bit.
I don’t know why we’re having this discussion. Zane knows all of this. We talked about it when they first discovered us at that little bar in Utah where we played.
The devil and angel on my shoulder taunt me again. Emerald Phoenix can make or break us…and I’m not being very nice to Zane.
Then again…he’s trying to fuck my sister and Brianna.
At the same time.
In his room.
My jaw is clenched so tight I may crack a tooth.
The server brings our drinks, and Zane hands her a credit card. “Run a tab, and anything these three want, put it on there.”
“You got it.” She runs the credit card through her handheld machine and hands it back to Zane.
Once she’s gone, Zane stands. “I’m afraid I can’t stay, but please, have whatever you want on me.”
“I’m sorry,” Maddie says.
“No problem, little lady. I have a big day tomorrow, as does your brother.” He nods to Brianna and to me, and then he whisks away.
The yoke lifts from my shoulders.
“Thanks a lot, Jess.” Maddie sulks.
But it doesn’t escape my notice that Brianna looks visibly relieved. She takes a sip of her bourbon.
“Do I really have to have this talk with the two of you?” I ask.
“Not with me you don’t,” Brianna says.
I ignore Brianna. “You, Mads? You’re better than this.”
“Oh, come on. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and you blew it for me. Zane will never come near me again, and neither will the others.”
“Works for me. What would Callie and Rory say?”
Maddie crosses her arms. “They’d be a lot cooler than you’re being.”
I turn to Brianna. “Did you really want to do this?”
She meets my gaze. “As a matter of fact, yes I did.”
“Really.”
This woman just lost her virginity two nights ago. I feel badly enough about that, but she’s clearly not easy. Not that I ever thought she was, but I didn’t figure she was a virgin.
“Yeah, really,” she asserts. “Like Maddie said, it was the opportunity of a lifetime.”
“Are either of you even attracted to Zane Michaels?”
“Of course,” Maddie says. “He’s gorgeous.”
He’s kind of a pretty boy, but whatever. Long blond hair, which is obviously colored.
“And you, Brianna?”
“Sure. It’s not like I have a type.”
Her emphasis on the word type is not lost on me.
What the hell? This is completely insane. The thought of my little sister… I’d like to pummel that pretty boy’s face.
And Brianna?
I’d like to throw him into next week.
I’m not sure which of them upsets me more.
My little sister…or Brianna.
Brianna shouldn’t bother me at all.
Maddie downs her sidecar quickly and rises. “I’ve had about all I can take of this brotherly talk. I’m going back up to the room, Bree. Stay and finish your drink if you want. See you in a few.”
She huffs and walks away before Brianna can stop her.
Then Brianna sighs. “I’ll finish my drink quickly.”
“Hell no. Have one or two more. It’s all on Zane. Besides, we’ve got a pizza coming. You hungry?”
“Not especially.” She takes another sip of her bourbon. “I don’t know what this is. Zane ordered the best bourbon they’ve got here. It could be expensive, and it’s delicious. I’d like to take my time with it.”
“Go right ahead. I’m not going anywhere until I finish my pizza.”
She nods, not smiling, and then takes another sip.
Oddly, I don’t feel weird being with her.
I should talk about tea at Ennis Ainsley’s house. I was damned rude to her, and I should apologize.
I should do a lot of things.
But all I can think about right now is getting her back in bed.
And my God… I have a private room. I even have everything I need since my luggage was finally delivered yesterday.
She takes another sip. And then I take the first sip of mine.
She’s right. It is delicious. Perfect caramel and smoke with no harshness on the finish at all. I swirl it in my glass, watching the amber liquid flow. Thinking about how I might give my entire burgeoning career up for just one more time with Brianna Steel.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
She takes another sip of her bourbon. “Jesse, I have a question for you.”
Here it comes. Why can’t we be together? Why don’t you want to be with me? What’s wrong with me?
I brace myself for all the possibilities.
“Go ahead,” I finally say after taking another sip of bourbon.
“Why didn’t you want Maddie and me to go with Zane?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Brianna
He doesn’t hesitate. “Because the two of you are better than that, Brianna.”
“Is that the real reason?”
“Maddie’s my little sister. I don’t like to think of her having sex with anyone. Least of all a player like Zane Michaels.”
“And what about me? I’m not your little sister.”
“Maybe not. But that’s how I always thought of you.”
I set my glass on the table. “Thought of me? You used the past tense, Jesse.”
“Of course I have to use the past tense. There’s no way I can think of you as a little sister anymore, Brianna. Not after what happened.”
My heart thumps. “We’ve been through that. It wasn’t a mistake.”
“In your opinion.”
“It wasn’t a mistake for either of us. You didn’t do anything wrong, Jesse. I know you think you did. I know you think you stole something from me, but you didn’t. I gave it to you. I knew what I was doing. I’m a big girl.”
He doesn’t say anything. Just takes another sip of his bourbon.
“For what it’s worth, I wasn’t really into the whole thing with Zane.”
“Oh? Then why did you go along with it? And why did you say you were?”
“It seemed as good a way as any to forget the person I really want.”
He looks away from me, takes another sip. Then he draws in a breath and meets my gaze. “You’re better than that.”
“Better than using sex with someone I don’t care about to forget someone I do care about? Yeah, I’d agree with you.”
“Then why were you going to do it?”
I shake my head. “Because I’m not freaking perfect, Jesse. I’m a human being. I watched you tonight, women surrounding you, and it broke my heart a little.”
He says nothing. Simply takes another sip, finally draining his drink.
“I get it. You’re not interested. I can accept that. But that doesn’t make it easy. Tonight there was a man interested in me.”
“There will always be men interested in you, Brianna. Since when have you been lacking in male attention?”
I can’t answer right away because he’s right. I’ve always had plenty of men trying to get in my pants. I want something more. I know I’m attractive, and I know I carry the Steel name. Two things that make men want me. But none of them really know me. I’ve had a few relationships, and they’ve gone okay. I cared about them, and they cared about me. But I never gave them the gift I gave Jesse, and the relationships eventually fizzled out.
Most men don’t want to wait around to have sex.
I can’t blame them really. I wanted to have sex as much as they did. Just not with them.
Finally Jesse speaks again. “What I witnessed tonight wasn’t you. And it wasn’t Maddie either.”
“Maybe not. But it’s easy to get caught up in the glamour of it all. You saw that yourself. I saw the women flocking to you.”
“You think I could have taken any of them to bed?”
“I know you could’ve. But apparently you didn’t.”
“I almost did, Brianna. Dragon and I had four girls ready to service both of us. Two of them are up with Dragon right now.”
I try to ignore the lump in my throat that forms as he tells me this. “So why didn’t you do it?”
“Because it’s not me any more than it is you.”
“You took me to bed,” I say boldly.
“I did.”
“So why not the other women, then?”
He rubs his hand up and down his face and holds up his glass up to the server as she walks by.
“Are you going to answer me?”
“I don’t have a fucking answer for you, Brianna. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you there was some reason that I allowed it to happen. I shouldn’t have. It’s not my style. And I don’t think it’s yours either.”
“Maybe the answer is staring you straight in the face. You just don’t want to acknowledge it.”
He rolls his eyes. “What answer might that be?”
“That you did want it. That you wanted it as much as I did. If this isn’t you and it isn’t me, then maybe we both just wanted something badly enough and we made it happen.”
“Damn it, Brianna.”
“What? Prove me wrong then, Jesse. Tell me there was another reason. You say you don’t do things like that. Indiscriminate sex isn’t your thing. I told you it’s not my thing either. Yet we both let it happen.”
“You were about to let it happen again tonight.”
“You don’t know that. Don’t presume to know what’s inside my head. I might have called the whole thing off before we got up to the bedroom.”
“God, I hope you’re right. I wish I could say the same for my little sis.”
“I don’t know that she would’ve gone through with it either. Neither of us will ever know now.”
“That doesn’t make me feel much better.”
“She’s a grown woman, Jesse. Just like I am. I’m sure Dale and Donny feel the same way about me as you do about Maddie.”
“Yeah…which is why I can’t ever look either of them in the eye again.”
“You’re being stupid.”
“Seriously? You want to play that game?”
“I’m not playing any games. That’s my whole point. I’m a grown woman, and you’re a grown man. Sure, my brothers wouldn’t like it. They wouldn’t like me having sex with anyone. Just like you don’t like the idea of Maddie having sex with anyone. Just like you hated when Callie started sleeping with Donny.”
He curls his hands into fists, his knuckles going white.
Yeah. I just proved my point.
“It’s different.”
“How the hell is it different? Because Maddie’s so much younger?”
He runs his hands over his hair. “That’s part of it, I guess. I was ten when Maddie was born. You’re even younger than Maddie, Brianna.”
I let out a soft scoff. “Do I have to go through all of this? Brendan and Ava are together. He’s thirty-five and she’s twenty-four. My own parents are ten years apart in age. Uncle Bryce and Aunt Marjorie have an even wider age gap.”
“Were any of them twenty-two when they got together?”
He’s got me there. “My mom was twenty-five. Ava’s twenty-four. It’s close.”
“Those two years mean a lot. Twenty-two is just a baby, Brianna.”
“Do I look like a baby to you?”
He looks at me then, his gaze smoldering as he rakes his eyes over my entire body.
“No,” he finally says. “You do not look like a baby to me, Brianna Steel. And right now, all I can think about is getting you out of those clothes and into my bed.”
My entire body burns. I ache between my legs, and I know this time there will be no pain and no blood.
“I don’t see anything stopping you.”
“I’m stopping myself.”
“Where are you sleeping tonight, Jesse?”
He remains silent.
“I can’t take you to my room. Maddie is there. But you have a room.”
Again, he says nothing.
“We can both have what we want. Through the whole tour if you want. And I promise you I won’t consider it any kind of commitment. It will be sex, Jesse. Sex that we both want because we’re extremely attracted to each other.”
“I’ve told you. I don’t have indiscriminate sex.”
“And I’ve told you that I don’t either. This isn’t indiscriminate sex. We’ve already been together, and we know each other. I’m willing. Are you?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jesse
My God, she’s fucking killing me.
Does she really think this is indiscriminate between us?
Because it’s not.
I’m feeling something, and I don’t like it. Not one bit.
I could take her now. I could pound her into the fucking morning, just to get Donny Steel back for taking my sister.
I’ll even throw Brock Steel in for taking my other sister.
That’s not my style.
Still… It will give me a reason to take her.
A reason that has nothing to do with the burgeoning feelings that I’m having, which make me extremely uncomfortable.
She may look grown up—even act grown up—but she’s a twenty-two-year-old.
I’m not sure I can live with the guilt.
I’m not sure I can live with the stupid ache in my cock either.
I have a room. My own room, where only I will be tonight.
“What will you tell Maddie?”
“About what?” she asks.
“If you go with me. What do we tell her?”
“I don’t have to tell her anything. I don’t answer to her.”
“Yeah, but the last time she was worried sick.”
Brianna bites her bottom lip. “That’s true. I don’t want her to worry.”
“So you see? This can’t happen.”
“Are you saying it would happen if there was a way to do it without worrying Maddie?”
I rake my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know what the hell I’m saying. I’m trying to convince myself there’s a good reason not to do this. You know, a good reason other than my profuse guilt and the fact that you’re only twenty-two. But damn… I want you so much right now that I ache, Brianna. I yearn for you.”
Her eyes widen, and a slow smile spreads across her face. “I want you too, Jesse.”
“Text my sister. Tell her you won’t be back in the room tonight. Don’t offer any other explanation.”
“So you mean—”
I raise both my hands. “I mean we’re both damned to hell, Brianna. This is so fucked up. But I want to take what you’re offering, because as God as my witness, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman this much before.”
She grabs her phone and taps onto it.
It dings back.
“She says okay.”
“She didn’t ask where you’d be?”
She looks up from her screen and smirks. “No, but she probably wanted to.”
“Good enough.” The server returns with my second drink, and I shoot it quickly, letting it burn my throat in a good way. Then I rise. “Let’s go.”
Brianna stands as well, and we walk, not touching each other, out of the bar, through the foyer lobby to the elevators.
Still not touching her, I press the up button.
The elevator doors open, and I allow her to step in ahead of me.
We’re the only two on the elevator, and when the doors close, I can’t help myself.
I grab her, crush our mouths together.
She opens for me instantly and melts into me as we kiss.
The air seems to thicken with an unspoken tension, and time slows down, amplifying every heartbeat. Heat radiates from her body, and an invisible force seems to draw us closer.
Her hands creep into my hair, tugging on it, and I close what little gap is left between us.
I deepen the kiss as passion and desire surge through my veins. Our lips move like a perfect melody, a dance of tongues and breath.
We speak volumes in this kiss—volumes I’ve refused to acknowledge until now.
Volumes I won’t be able to forget, no matter how hard I try.
The elevator reaches my floor, and the doors open.
We break apart, and neither of us speaks.
Again I let her walk out before me, and then, without taking her hand or touching her in any other way, I lead her to the room that Rory reserved for me.
I open the door quickly, let her in first, and then shut the door behind us. I then slam her against the wall and kiss her.
She tastes of her bourbon, and for a split-second I remember the pizza that I ordered on Zane’s tab.
But then I don’t care.
I don’t think at all.
I simply kiss her, cupping both her cheeks, grinding the bulge of my cock against her.
She groans into my mouth, which makes my cock tighten further.
My God, I want her. I want her so badly.
We kiss and we kiss and we kiss, until she finally pushes at me and gasps in a breath.
“Jesse…”
“Please don’t say you’ve changed your mind.”
“No… Of course not. I just need to…” She sucks in another breath. “Need to breathe…”
