Line Change, page 15
“You know this is your new nickname, right?” Jude hollers toward me.
“Yeah, I heard.”
“It’s because he’s killing everyone on the ice,” Marty blurts out. I’ll gladly take his definition over the actual meaning of the song any day. After five minutes, we switch. Jude is in goal and we’re firing shots at him. Nothing too aggressive because we don’t want him exerting himself before he has to, but enough to warm him up. When the horn sounds, we leave the ice and head back to the locker room for a twenty-minute chat. We go over strategy, who is guarding who, what plays we are going to run, and the line switch. When we get the signal from our manager, we head back out with me leading the pack.
I stand at the door, leading to our bench. When the lights go down and the music starts, the team files out, one by one. I give everyone a high-five as they pass by, with me being the last one on the ice. I do one half loop and then line up on the line, facing the American flag. After the anthem is sung, the line-ups are announced, and it’s time to drop the puck.
Before I make my way to the center, I stop by my goalie. “One period at a time,” I say to Jude.
“One goal at a time,” he replies.
I skate toward the middle, bending at the waist halfway there. When I get to the center, I stare at my opponent. He knows I’m the best and he wants to be me. That’s my mindset and he can’t change it. No one can.
The official blows his whistle. I focus on the black disc in his hand. My stick is poised, ready, and the second the puck hits the ice the blade of my stick is moving it toward Brad and my shoulder is pushing the other center out of my way. He attempts to grab my shirt, but my arm swings over the top of his hands and he has no choice but to let go. “Get the fuck off me,” I say for good measure. Right now, I’m public enemy number one. Everyone on this team and every team we play wants to take me down. They want the number one ranking all to themselves, but there is no way I’m letting them have it. I have too much riding on my season.
When the line shift happens, I take my seat on the bench. The manager hands me a bottle filled with water. I squirt it into my mouth and happen to glance to my right. Thea is sitting there, right next to the bench and in the front row. Not gonna lie, I love that she’s a hockey chick and wish I could find a way to talk to her about Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe I need to resort to old-fashioned note writing because the texts I send her have all gone unanswered. This woman is playing hard to get. Strike that—she’s playing hard to forget, and something tells me she knows it.
When the announcer tells us there’s one minute left to play, relief washes over me. This game is boring. We’re up seven to nothing, and I’ve added a hattrick to my resume to go with two assists. When we reach the five-minute mark of the third period, Coach tells me to rest. He also pulls Jude to give the back-up goalie some minutes.
“Good game,” Coach says as he goes down the line, congratulating all of us. “Rose, you’re really putting on a show.”
“Thanks,” I say to him. Jude bumps my shoulder.
“Get it, Sandman.”
Once the buzzer sounds, we all head onto the ice and meet together as a team. After we talk quickly, we line up, shake the other team’s hands, and then head into the locker room. Coach doesn’t say much, except he reminds us not to get busted drinking or serving underaged kids any alcohol. This is a big fear of mine, which means I won’t drink anything tonight and after I make an appearance, I’ll likely go to bed because I want no part of the alcohol consumption happening tonight.
When Jude and I come out of the arena, Thea is there. Part of me wishes she waited for me, but I know she’s waiting for her brother, as she should be.
“Wow, you guys played awesome.”
“Thanks,” Jude says. “Hey, I gotta run to the store, can you get a ride back with Kyler?”
Yes, please.
“Oh, perfect. I need to go to the store.”
“All right then,” Jude says. “Ky, do you need anything?”
I shake my head slowly, never taking my eyes off Thea. “Nah, I’m good. See you at home.” I’m willing to bet Thea doesn’t need a damn thing at the store. She just doesn’t want to be alone in the car with me. I stay there until they’re out of sight and then drag my sorry ass to my car. I have to find a way to fix things, if not for my sanity, then definitely for a peace of mind. I don’t like knowing Thea is pissed at me. The feeling is rather uncomfortable.
nineteen
Thea
“Can you put the tree in this corner?” I direct Devon and Jude as they maneuver a six-foot fir tree around the living room. It’s mid-December, and Millie and I have decided it’s time to start decorating the house for the festive season. God knows this house needs brightening up, and if I leave it to the boys, it will either be a last-minute job on Christmas Eve, or it won’t be done at all. We picked up the tree earlier this morning and decided we’d situate it in the middle of the room to easily decorate it from all sides before moving it to its designated spot. We’ve all claimed one part of the tree to hang ornaments on, including Millie as she’s an honorary member of the hockey house. It’s safe to say while it doesn’t match, it has an eclectic style about it.
“Right here?” Devon asks me from underneath the branches of green pines. He’s lying on the ground, making sure the tree is secure, and Jude is holding the tree up. I’m standing on a stool, ready to put the topper on the top, and Nolan and Millie are bickering about the lights and where each bulb should go so we have evenly-spaced lighting. And Kyler? He’s currently pinning up another set of lights on the mantel. I’m not surprised he’s taking part in our decorating day. Over the last few days, he’s been more present in the house, what with participating in house meals and not hiding out in his room. The only times he’s not here is when he’s at fights. He thinks I don’t know what he’s doing on the nights he doesn’t come home, but I’m not stupid. It’s obvious from the day-old bruises and the grimaces he tries to hide when one of his injuries gives him trouble. Since Thanksgiving, he’s tried to talk to me a few times on occasions when we’re alone, but I always shut him down. I’m not ready to walk down that road yet and hear the sordid details of how he’s moved on. Not that he has anything to move on from, we were over before we began. We blurred the lines from the start, and I know I need to take part of the blame for the messy impasse between us.
“Okay, try it now,” Devon calls out again, and I reach up and place the topper—an ugly-looking Christmas gnome the guys insist we have to use—on the tree. As I do so, I lose my balance but before my life starts to flash before my eyes and I fall back, two strong arms grab me around the waist and hold me steady. I look and see Ky behind me holding me up. He looks intently into my eyes.
“I got you,” he says quietly, and I almost laugh at his words. He did have me for a few short days, but then he shared his bed with someone else. I turn back and reach up again, Ky’s hands never letting go until I’ve precariously balanced the topper. Once done, I quickly move out of his grip and jump down from the stool declining his offered hand. We all stand back and admire our handiwork.
“Not bad,” Jude comments, with the others humming in agreement. “Not bad at all.”
“What’s next?” Nolan asks as he, Ky, and Devon tidy up the odd bits and pieces we’ve decided we’re not using and put them back in the box.
“We’re doing the Secret Santa draw next, and then you boys can all be excused,” Millie informs us as she takes a small tin out of her purse. “You know the rules, the name you pick, is who you’re buying for. No discussing with anyone else, and no telling anyone who you’ve picked. Otherwise, it’s not a secret.”
“What if we pick our own name?” Nolan asks. Millie rolls her eyes at him before responding.
“Then you put it back and pick another, doofus!” She chastises him a little as if she has to state the obvious. “Who wants to go first?”
“I will,” Ky replies as we circle. Millie holds out the tin to him, and he takes out a small, folded piece of paper which he unfolds. As he reads the name written on it, his brow furrows slightly, and then he folds it back up and places it in his pocket. Nolan and Jude go next, and then it’s my turn. There are only three slips of paper in the tin, and I grab one and open it. The little slip of paper has Kyler’s name on it because, of course, it does. Of course, I’d pick his name out because the universe is trying to punish me. Keeping my expression as neutral as possible, I fold it back up and slip it in the back pocket of my jeans, wondering if Secret Santa rules allow me to swap with someone else. Mille takes these things seriously, though, so I know it’s not worth her wrath by asking. After Devon takes his pick, Millie takes the remaining paper and puts the tin back in her bag.
“Well that was easy. We’ll do the exchange and open our presents before we all go home for the holidays. Until then, no discussing with anyone.”
We all agree with her rules and go back to decorating the rest of the house for the next few hours.
I’m in my room later that evening, working on some mock test questions, when there is a knock on my door. Looking up, I see Kyler standing in the open doorway. He’s picked his time well, as he knows there’s nowhere for me to hide in my room unless I lock myself in the en-suite or storm past him and run downstairs.
“Can I come in?” he asks quietly. I pause for a second or two before nodding, giving him my consent to enter the only private sanctuary I have. He stands awkwardly, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he looks around before settling his eyes back on mine. The tension between us is palpable, and I know he feels it as much as I do. It makes the silence all the more uncomfortable.
“So, um,” he continues when it becomes clear I’m not going to start the conversation. He came to me. He needs to say whatever he needs to say. “I picked Millie for Secret Santa, and I’ve no clue what to get her. So, I was kinda wondering if you could help me? Give me some ideas or something?”
Without looking up from my paper, I huff a little before responding. “Did you not get the memo about the Secret Santa rules. You’re not supposed to discuss it with anyone.”
“Sounds like Fight Club.”
This time I look up sharply and meet his eyes. “You would know.”
Kyler sighs and shakes his head slightly. “I guess I deserved that.” He pauses, waiting for a response. When I don’t offer one, he continues. “Look, Thea, please can we talk about what you saw at Thanksgiving.”
I gather all the papers on my bed and put them back in my folder. It’s clear I’m not going to get any more studying done today, not when Kyler’s about to discuss the elephant currently making its presence known in the room.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I went home, and you did your thing. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I do, though, because it’s obvious you’re pissed at me.” Ky takes a seat on my floor, leaning his back against the wall opposite my bed. I’m grateful he’s put a safe distance between us. I don’t think I’d be able to hold my resolve if he was any closer. Me and him are a bad idea. Me and him won’t work. It’s best he tells me he’s found someone, and I can move on from whatever it is between us.
“Nothing happened,” he continues, “with that woman, I swear. I mean, yeah, she spent the night, but I was so drunk. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep the moment I hit the bed. But we didn’t have sex.”
“But you wanted to,” I argue. “Why else would you bring her home?”
“Because I was so mad at you, Thea!” His words cut deep, like slivers of sharp glass pressing against my skin. He takes a deep breath as he proceeds. “I saw the photos Jude put on his social media. The ones of your Thanksgiving dinner? You and Adam looked all cozy sitting together with his arm around you, and I couldn’t stand it. After our night together and what I told you, I just couldn’t understand how you could be with him like nothing happened. It crucified me just knowing you and he were together, and I was here fucking missing you like crazy. So, I reacted. I went to The Crease and got drunk. And before long, I found myself talking with this girl. She was in the same boat as me, as she’d just found out her husband was fucking her sister behind her back. Or maybe it’s not the same boat, because I’m not fucking anyone, but still. We shared our sob stories, and because I was so wasted, she helped me get home. It was late, I was a shitty host, and she made sure I was okay and didn’t choke to death on my own vomit.”
Kyler pauses as he gets his breath back after his monologue, rubbing his hands down his face as I try and process all the information he’s just offloaded.
“What you saw was her leaving my room after she slept on the floor. Yeah, I’m a shit and took the bed. That’s why her clothes were all wrinkled. And me changing my shirt? The one I wore to bed had drool and maybe a little bit of sick on it. I’m not proud of myself, Thea, but that’s all, I swear it. When I saw you standing there, my heart cracked into a million fucking pieces. I knew I had disappointed you. I could see it in your eyes. But what could I do? Jude was right there, and I couldn’t have run after you without him guessing something is going on. So, I took the cowardly option and showed my guest out. I regret my actions that night so much. I’m sorry you saw what you saw. But I’m not sorry for being mad and reacting. I’m not, Thea.”
This time it’s my turn to take a deep breath, put on my big-girl pants and come clean to Kyler. I’ve not exactly been forthcoming about my current relationship status, and I can understand how seeing what he saw would upset him, especially as he was the one who told me about Adam’s infidelity.
“Adam and I broke up,” I confess, starting off with the bombshell I know he wasn’t expecting. By his reaction, I know I’m right. His head shoots up quickly at my words.
“Probably about a few hours after those photos were taken, actually,” I continue. “What you saw was me putting on a brave face for our annual Thanksgiving photos. I should have realized Jude would upload them. He does every year. After dinner, Adam and I talked. I asked him about the development and hooking-up with his colleague, and he didn’t deny it. I’ll spare you the details, but long story short, I ended our relationship. We came home early because I wanted to talk to you without the others around. I wanted to tell you what happened. So, when I saw your door open . . .”
Kyler sits forward, reaching his hand to me, but I don’t take it. I’m not ready yet to close the distance between us, not until we’ve both said what we need to say.
“When I saw your door open, and you both walked out, I guess everything just caught up with me. I know I don’t have a right to be upset, but seeing you with this blonde bombshell? It made me realize whatever this is between us, it’s complicated. You’ve got enough complications in your life right now, Ky. I’m sorry I added to it.”
“You’re not a complication, Thea. You’re the only thing in my life that’s not complicated.” Ky reassures me, this time standing up from his spot on the floor and walking toward me. He crouches down when he’s near so he’s at eye level and takes his hand in mine. As soon as he makes contact, the electric charge between us comes back with a vengeance, and I welcome the feeling of being on the precipice of ignition with open arms.
“Friends?” he asks, hope lacing his voice.
I nod once and respond, “Friends.”
We remain holding hands for a while, and a moment of peace passes over me as the tension of the last few days falls away. Once the moment passes, I address his initial question—the one he used to gain entry into my room.
“So, Millie’s present? She likes crystals. You know the type that are meant to calm you? She swears they work. I’d buy her something along those lines if I were you. Those or aromatherapy oils.”
Kyler nods as he lets go of my hand and stands, and I immediately mourn the loss of our connection.
“Crystals and oils. Okay, sounds easy enough,” he says.
“And no mention of me helping you. Remember the rules of Secret Santa,” I remind him. He walks toward my door, turning around before he leaves.
“My lips are sealed,” he says, mimicking zipping his lips together. “I’m glad we’re friends, Thea.”
“I’m glad too, Ky.”
Kyler leaves the door open as he exits my room, and the significance is not lost on me as I find my heart opening up to him again too.
twenty
Kyler
It’s the last day of school until winter vacation. Everyone will go home, sleep for days, eat a ton of food, and celebrate with their friends. It’s times like these when I wish I went to school away from my family because then I’d have something to look forward to, even if it was only for a few days. The hockey team gets a couple of days off, and then we’re back on the ice for a holiday tournament. Usually, I don’t care about being alone during the break, but this year is different. I like having Thea and Millie around, and while the guys will be back the day after Christmas Day, it won’t be the same without the girls. Millie is like an annoying little sister you don’t mind being around, while Thea is the forbidden fruit you want to sink your teeth into. I want her, but I can’t have her, and it’s probably for the best.
Before everyone leaves tonight, the house is celebrating Christmas. This was Millie’s idea. She said it’ll be no fun if we don’t see each other open our presents. I happen to agree with her. I’m rather proud of what I bought her, and I’d like to see her open her present in front of me. Plus, I’m going to know who my Secret Santa is as soon as they leave their present under the tree, and if anyone thinks I’m waiting for Christmas, they’re crazy. To me, it’s just another day, and aside from a drawing or macaroni necklace from Lacey, this will be my only gift. More so, if one of the guys drew my name, they undoubtedly got me something porn related—not something I want to open in front of my mom or niece.
