Some Things, page 17
“You’re very annoying for a forty-five-year-old.” Briar slinked back in her chair and slumped her shoulders as if she was exhausted from the conversation which made Bella chuckle. I knew she wasn’t, but it was good to see she still had her sense of humor. She then turned her focus to Bella. “What position do you play for soccer?”
“Striker. I had a record scoring goals this season. Twenty-four.”
“That’s incredible. Are you going to want to play in college?”
“It’s not on my list of high priorities. If they want me to play, I will, but I’m not choosing a school based on what soccer team is best. I’m more interested in the academics they have. Soccer would be a bonus.”
“Have any scouts come out and taken a look?” I should have been more up to speed on what was going on with Bella. This was a crazy time for her, and I could have supported her more.
“One or two. But I don’t know if they only want to see the girl-whose-mom-killed-someone play soccer.”
I quickly glanced at Briar whose eyes were widening and questioning at the same time. Her forehead burrowed asking all the questions she had in one look. I raised my index finger subtly as if to say, “not right now” and she stopped herself from speaking.
“I highly doubt that’s why they’re there. With scoring twenty-four goals, you’re making a pretty good case for yourself. Any college would be lucky to have you,” I assured her.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” She brushed me aside with her hand gesture. “Don’t I get to feel sorry for myself for even a little bit.”
“Not on my watch. You’ve got plenty to be thankful for. It’s ok to understand when life has done you dirty, but it’s not ok to dwell on it and make it your personality.” Bella nodded her head, and I saw her process what I said. She was entitled to think she got a raw deal. Absolutely. But I wasn’t going to let her go down a pity-party rabbit hole of a life. “You’ve got some terrific things left to do with your life. Don’t let anything your mom—or anyone else, for that matter— has done, hold you down.”
“Yes, sir,” she said mockingly, but I knew she understood what I meant.
We finished our meals with a little more small talk, some pictures of Briar’s children were shown, and phone numbers shared, before getting up to go.
“It was so nice meeting you, Bella. I know we'll see each other tomorrow, but I hope we can stay in touch beyond that,” Briar said.
“Thanks. I’d really like that. You have my socials so don’t be afraid to bother me on there. Your girls are fabulous.”
“That’s really sweet of you to say.” Briar gave Bella a hug, and we walked her to her car.
“I’ll be in touch, alright. Let me know when you wake up,” I said.
“Will do. It was good seeing you. Thanks, Dustin.” She gave me a hug and said into my chest. “I’m so glad you were able to come over here.”
“Me too, sweetie. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
We said our goodbyes, and Briar and I began to walk back to the hotel.
Chapter thirty-three
Briar
My mind was racing with all the information I received at dinner. I had a thousand and one questions and didn’t know how to ask any of them. Did I even have a right to ask any of them? They weren’t my family, and I hardly knew Dustin, so it certainly wasn’t my place to get the full story. But at the same time, I wanted to know why Dustin kept the truth from me. Again, though, that was such a silly thought. He didn’t owe me the truth. I was simply a client and was not entitled to the workings of his relationships.
It was then as if Dustin could read my thoughts and asked, “You probably have a lot of questions.” He had his hands in his pockets at first but then took one hand out and reached for mine. “Let’s get back to the hotel, and I’ll answer them for you.”
“Ok,” I said quietly.
He led me up the few blocks to the hotel and guided me into the elevator. I didn’t speak, not because I was scared, but because it was as if he needed this time to get his thoughts together. I wasn’t sure why he was so on edge, but I gave him a squeeze every now and then with my hand to let him know it was all going to be ok. He smiled at me each time, his eyes lighting up when they met mine and then dropping again into his deep thinking.
“Can I come in?” he asked when we finally were in front of my room.
“Of course.” I opened it with my key card, and he followed me in. I frantically started to tidy up, moving things off the bed and the chair. I threw things into my suitcase and hung the towels in the bathroom. “Sorry… I wasn’t expecting company.”
“You should see my room,” he said as he sat down on the only chair in the room.
I took a seat on the edge of the bed and took my shoes off.
“That was good seeing, Bella… but what’s going on?” I grabbed a pair of socks from my suitcase and put them on.
Sadness emanated from Dustin’s eyes as he continuously rolled his hands together. “There’s something I wanted to tell you before dinner…”
“Oh right.” The fear that was present before resurfaced but this time I wanted to know what he was going to say. “Is that what has you in this mood? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll ask… your father’s name was Michael Rossey, right?”
“Yes.” The confusion on my face was telling.
Dustin leaned forward and put his arms on his thighs and rubbed his hands together like he was washing them. “My ex-fiancé’s name is Sonya Thorn.”
And then it hit me why he had been acting so weird. I didn’t move. Blood rushed from my face, and my stomach entwined in unnatural knots. I stared at Dustin, his words ringing in my ears.
Sonya Thorn.
Fuck.
“She killed my… she hit…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t want to finish the sentence. I didn’t want to try to figure out how in the hell this all happened.
“Yes. She killed your dad.” Dustin sat back and shook his head while he said, “I swear I had no idea who you were when I met you. I only started to put things together when you said your dad’s name on the drive up here.” He put his head down. “I didn’t know what to say, how to tell you. I’m so sorry.”
Nodding my head slowly, I stood up needing to get some blood flowing. I shook my hands out trying to gather my thoughts. Pacing the floor, I took each breath in deeply, and let it out rhythmically. My heart rate steadied, and my eyes focused back on Dustin who looked distraught. This wasn’t his fault.
“What’s going on? Can you talk to me?” he asked, pleading with his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say. You’re not to blame. You didn’t do anything. It’s a small world, that’s for damn sure. I can’t believe…” I sat back down on the edge of the bed and stared at my feet not knowing what else to do.
"It is a small world… I told you Sonny made some poor decisions. She was a drug addict, and I had no idea." He looked distraught, his eyes filling with pain. "She—"
"I don't want to talk about her right now." Thinking about her, hearing about her life was sending me into a tailspin. Staring at the hotel carpet, I followed the bizarre pattern on the floor, my mind becoming numb to the feelings trying to penetrate it.
We sat in silence, each one of us not knowing what to say. The last time I saw my dad replayed in my mind like a movie trailer. At least I had told him I loved him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dustin stand up. He checked his pockets for something, but I didn’t look up. “I should probably go to my room. I’m sure you don’t want to see me right now." He paused, maybe waiting for me to respond but I didn't. "You call me or text me… for anything. Anything at all." His voice became low and somber. "Sorry doesn’t begin to tell you how I feel right now.” He began to make his way towards the door but with him would go my sanity. I needed him there with me.
“Dustin…,” I said softly, lifting my head.
He turned and caught my eyes, and my heart found that familiar place in my throat whenever he looked at me like that.
“Yeah?” he asked quietly.
“Would you stay with me tonight?”
“Really?” he asked, double checking what I was saying.
“Yes. I don’t want to be alone.”
“I’ll stay with you for as long as you need.” And he walked towards me and took me in his arms.
I fell into his chest and held onto him, not wanting to let go. Dustin rested his chin on the top of my head while my arms wrapped around his waist. The sadness overtook me as I thought about what Sonya did to my family. A careless act turned so many lives upside down. My eyes stung with memories as Dustin rubbed my back. Too many feelings were happening at once as I choked back tears. We didn’t speak; the only sounds came from my sniffling and his calm breathing, almost shushing the room.
I didn’t think I would feel so comfortable in Dustin’s arms, but I did. He was the perfect height, the perfect warmth, the perfect tenderness. He rocked me back and forth, relaxing my gulping breaths.
He stopped rocking, and I felt his hand under my chin. He lifted my head, and I stared into his eyes, trying to convey my need for him to make it all go away—all the pain, all the sadness, all the anger. Bending down slightly, he kissed my forehead softly, slowly, the pressure of his lips creating a wave of protection over my body.
I mirrored his next movements, following him like a lost puppy. Soon the bed was beneath me, covers were being pulled over me, and Dustin’s body scooted in behind me. My head rested on the pillow as I felt his arm wrap over my body, his hand hanging limp unsure where it could reside. I grabbed hold of it, entwining my fingers with his and brought our hands up to my chest, pulling him closer to me. His head nuzzled into the back of my neck, his breath leaving warm imprints on my skin.
It took me a while to settle down. The shock and anger had subsided and in its place, fear and anxiety. I both wanted Dustin to be right where he was, but also not at all. He felt wonderful cocooned around me but that was confusing the hell out of me. My mind didn’t know how to relax with all the synapses firing at once.
But again, like Dustin could read my thoughts, he gave me the tiniest of squeezes and whispered, “How are you feeling?”
“Better. Thanks to you.”
“Can you get some sleep?”
“I think so. Promise me you’ll be here in the morning?”
I could feel him smile as he said, “Promise.”
And then, ever so lightly, for the briefest of moments, I could feel his lips on the back of neck. My insides crumbled as I closed my eyes, replaying that feeling in my head, hearing my heart beat loudly in my pillow as I tried to figure out how to fall asleep with Dustin Springer holding me.
Chapter thirty-four
Dustin
There was no way I was breaking my promise to Briar. I would lay there all night long and hold her if that was what she wanted. I couldn’t believe my ears when she asked, but not an ounce of me would have said no. I thought she was going to throw me out, and I wouldn’t have blamed her.
Lying next to her lit my world on fire. She fit right, in every way possible. When she took my hand in hers, I never wanted to let go. She needed to feel safe. And I wanted to be the one there for her. Her trust meant too much to me. With everything she’d been through, I couldn’t let her down.
I wouldn’t let her down.
I held her for the entire night, getting some sleep here and there. I didn’t want to miss the feeling of being next to her. She fell asleep, and I listened to her peaceful breathing, felt her heart beat next to my hand. Her peach shampoo tickled my nose as her hair occasionally brushed my face. Content didn’t even begin to describe my night lying in that bed.
The blackout curtains of the hotel hid the rising sun but the clock on the nightstand read 7:30 when I awoke from my last hour or so nap. I wanted to get up and go get some coffee and bagels for us, but I didn’t dare move. I promised her I would be there in the morning, and I wasn’t chancing her waking up during that time, no matter how nice of a gesture it might be.
I moved slightly, trying to adjust my jeans, and she stirred, rolling forward a little. She went to move some hair out of her face, but our hands were still together. Instead of letting my hand go, she squeezed it before loosening one finger to push her hair back. She stretched her back while I straightened my legs, so my knees didn’t get in the way. I heard her let out a breath, and she finally rolled over on her other side, coming face to face with me. She hadn’t let go of my hand and brought them up under her chin. Her radiant smile greeted me, and I couldn’t help but want that to happen again and again.
“Good morning, sleepy head,” I said, smiling back.
She grabbed part of the pillowcase and covered her mouth with it while she said, “Good morning.”
I laughed and tried to move the piece of fabric with my free hand. “I’ll take seeing your face over bad breath any day.”
Her face turned a lovely shade of pink, and she shoved it into her pillow. She said something but it was muffled so I said, “I’ve never been more jealous of a pillow than I am right now.”
With that, she lifted her head to reveal a shocked expression. She freed her hand from mine only to give me a playful nudge on my shoulder.
“You’re so full of it.”
“Hey, it got your face out of a pillow, so a win is a win.”
She rested her head back down and dramatically huffed out of her nose as if she were bothered by letting me win. “What’s the plan for today?”
“I want to give Gia a call. They told me she had her cell phone with her and should be up for phone calls today. Once I talk with her, I’ll figure out what we need to do next, if that’s alright.”
“That’s totally fine. I’m in no rush. I meant that I’m not needed at home… yet… so I’ll be a sidekick for whatever you need today.”
“Thanks. But first… I have got to go to the bathroom.”
“Oh… well then…” She started to get up, but I stopped her. She laid back down, confusion written all over her face.
“You ok?” I asked in all seriousness.
“Yeah. I think so,” she said after she pondered my question. "Have some more processing to do, but Sonny is the one to blame."
“Unfortunately, yes, she is.” I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead before sitting up completely. I ran my hands through my hair and then gently patted her leg, readying myself to get up. I didn’t want to. I could stay there all day long, but I didn’t want to scare her or overstay my welcome. I was going with the less is more attitude.
I finally got out of bed and checked my pockets, not expecting to be missing anything—it was only out of habit. I grabbed my shoes and made my way to the door.
“Hey,” Briar said abruptly.
I turned towards her resting my arm on the small hallway wall. She was sitting up in bed, her hair slightly messy, pulled to one side and hanging down the side of her face, her warm eyes making my toes curl.
“Thanks for staying,” she said sincerely.
“Anytime.”
And with that, I turned and left, not wanting to do either.
Chapter thirty-five
Briar
Once I heard the door click shut, I put my face in my hands, my fingers rubbing my forehead. My mind replayed the night as I let out soft moans of both embarrassment and sorrow. I raised my head, crossing my arms and looking around the room, not really focusing on anything or looking for anything in particular—mostly trying to make my own arms feel like Dustin’s around me. It wasn’t working—of course it wasn’t working, but there I sat, making odd faces, putting my head back, putting my head down, trying to figure out what last night meant.
Coming up blank, I reached for my phone and checked to see if I had any messages. Wren hadn’t tried to get a hold of me, so I was assuming all was well on her end. I opened up our message thread and typed her a good morning text.
Good morning, fabulous friend! How was last night? When they have a minute, I would love to say hi to the girls.
I hit send and dropped my phone on my lap.
What a crazy, messed up world this place could be sometimes. None of what happened was Dustin’s fault; he was going through his own resolve of the situation. As much as I wanted to know about their relationship, I hated the thought of giving that woman any more of my time or feelings.
Instead, I wanted to think about the way Dustin was looking at me when I woke up and what he said. That was some heavy flirting, right? And his kissing my forehead? Ugh. I didn’t know what to make of all of it. There was no way he was thinking of anything more between us. I didn’t want anything more between us. That would get too complicated. But damn, it was nice being in his arms.
My phone rang, and I was brought back to reality. My babies were calling me. I accepted the FaceTime call, and there were my smiling girls.
“Good morning, lovely ladies!”
“Morning mom,” Leah said waving. Adelaide sucked her thumb and smiled, resting her head on her sister’s shoulder.
“Did you both sleep well?”
“Yeah. We had a slumber party in the living room!” Leah almost shouted.
“Oh wow! Ella and Eddie slept downstairs with you?” I asked.
“Yup! It was sooo much fun.” Leah opened her mouth wide and shoved it in front of the camera when she spoke.
“And what about you, Ms. Adelaide? Did you have fun?”
“Mmmmhmmmm. We wore sleeping bags.”
“Oooh, that’s exciting. What do you have planned for today?” Tears were beginning to hit my eyes but I fought them back, not wanting my girls to notice. I missed them more than words could say.
They both looked off camera, and I could hear Wren whispering something to them.
“We’re making a surprise!” Leah lifted her arms up over her head.
