Path of Totality, page 23
We followed the river until Ryker stopped and pointed toward the tree line. “Come on.”
“Now what?”
A few feet into the trees, I saw he was headed for a wooden shack. Yay.
He walked around the back of the ramshackle structure instead of opening the door. Then he poked his head around the back wall, a huge smile on his face. “Check it out.” He motioned me to him.
I walked around the building and found him pulling a rowboat from under an overhang. Maybe someone was looking out for us, after all.
We searched inside the shack and found fishing poles. Ryker insisted on digging up some worms and trying his luck before we crossed. I sat on a nearby rock and watched the outdoorsman catch us dinner. We built a fire and ate.
When we finished, Ryker kicked dirt on the remnants of our cooking fire. “We should either cross before dark or spend the night here and cross in the morning.”
“Let’s get this river behind us.”
He helped me into the boat and pushed us into the water, then hopped aboard and settled into the middle seat while we drifted into the river.
I remembered how sore my arms were after crossing the rivers in Pittsburgh. “Want me to help row? It’s a long way across.”
He flexed. “I’ll be fine.”
I rolled my eyes.
Crossing the river took at least an hour. Ryker splashed into the water at the shoreline and pulled the boat onto the bank. He stretched his shoulders and moved them in circles. “See, told you I could do it.”
He held out his hand and helped me out of the boat. I stared at the river and sank to my knees. I swiped my cheeks. My breath came in ragged gasps.
Ryker knelt next to me and rubbed my back. “You okay?”
I nodded. The biggest obstacle standing between my family and me now lay behind us. “I’m going through all of this to be with my family, and you left your dad behind you.”
He picked a rock up and skipped it across the water. “My dad is safe. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened and I wasn’t there for you.”
I hung my head. “Why? I’ve been such a jerk. I’d think you’d be happy to be rid of me.”
He put his hand under my chin and gently lifted until I looked him in the eye. “You’re upset. Maybe even scared. But I see the real you. The brave, loyal, individual who’d do anything for the people she loves.”
My insides went gooey. He really cared for me. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but Brent’s face flashed in my mind. Would I always be like this? Never able to move on to another relationship because of what could have been with my dead best friend? I pulled away from Ryker and stood.
Hurt flashed in his eyes, but he quickly hid it behind a grin. He pulled the boat farther from the waterline so if the river rose, it wouldn’t float away. “We should keep moving and find someplace to camp.”
With the river behind us, we walked until we hit a back country road. Overgrown fields stretched as far as I could see in the waning light.
I motioned to the field on our left. “This spot is as good as any. I doubt we’ll find a car around here.”
We stepped into the field and walked ten feet or so through the weeds and cornstalks.
Ryker stopped and started walking in a circle, breaking stalks and flattening weeds.
“What are you doing?” I was tired of asking him that question.
He stopped and pointed to the open spot behind him. “Making us a place to sleep.”
I walked with him and within minutes, we had created a nice little hollow to sleep in. The stalks were scratchy, but at least the ground was free of rocks, and we were hidden from view.
We watched the sky as the stars came out. Not long ago, we were in our meadow watching the eclipse. It seemed like a lifetime ago. “Can we talk about how you’re always so calm now?”
Ryker rolled onto his side and faced me. “Sure, but what exactly do you mean?”
“You’re never afraid. Is it the faith thing?”
“I’ve been scared plenty, and I mean plenty of times. When my mom died. When you almost got shot, and I pulled a trigger. And almost every moment since.” He scooted close to me. “Just because I have faith doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”
“You’re just always so confident. Like you know nothing bad is going to happen.”
“I’m putting up a good front.”
I mulled that over. “You don’t have to do that for me.”
The last of the light left and I couldn’t see his face anymore. “Mom and I used to watch the stars together.” His voice caught. He pointed out several constellations.
Not only could he hack, hunt, fish, and track, he knew the stars, too. Truly an amazing guy. Even if I could put Brent behind me, I wasn’t sure if I deserved him. His gentle voice lulled me to sleep.
CHAPTER 62
JADZIA
The next morning, I woke to find my arms bleeding and a corn husk under my shirt. I picked an ear of corn from the stalk next to me and threw it at Ryker.
He sat up and whipped his head around. “What? Huh? What’s going on?”
I cracked up. “That’s the last time we sleep in a cornfield.” I rubbed the scratches on my arm.
His body relaxed. “It was your idea.”
I opened my mouth to protest but realized it had been my idea. I hated it when he was right, and he always seems to be right. Instead, I rummaged through our packs and pulled out some water pods, crackers and two candy bars. The breakfast of kings. “We’re running low. Not to mention the nutritional value of this food is zilch.”
“Since when do you care about eating healthy?”
“Since I have to walk ten thousand miles to see my family.”
He rolled his eyes. “Five hundred. Tops.”
I shrugged. “Same thing. Especially if we’re walking.”
He threw an ear of corn at me. I threw a cracker and within minutes we were throwing everything we could reach at each other. “You’re wasting our wonderfully nutritious food.” He gasped.
That did it. I laughed until I had tears streaming down my face at the absurdity of it all. We were in the middle of nowhere, throwing corn and broken potato chips at each other.
Ryker put his arm around me. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry. You okay?”
Gasps forced their way out of me as I remembered the last time I laughed this hard—the sock war with my little brother. I nodded at Ryker but still couldn’t stop the strange laugh-sob sounds that came out of my mouth.
Ryker pulled me to him, and I leaned into his chest. His lips moved in my hair. “Breathe with me.” His chest expanded as he took a deep breath. “In,” he held the breath, then released it, “and out.”
I followed along as best I could until my breathing normalized. “Sorry.”
He shook his head. “No problem. You want to talk about it?”
I told him all about Jonathan and the sock fight. He laughed. “I wish I had a sibling. Being an only child got lonely sometimes.”
“Leaving your sibling behind to go fight a stupid war can be lonely, too.”
He grew quiet, and we sat in silence for a few minutes.
He picked up a half-crushed cracker and handed it to me.
“Gee, thanks.”
I took it and flicked it at him. “Let’s get going. We have five hundred miles to go, tops.” I stood and grabbed a bag.
He opened his map. “Looks like Mellwood is the next town we can run into if we keep going southwest. It’s not listed as a safe city, but I have no idea if it’s still populated or not.”
“We can try it. If it looks busy, we can skirt around.” We’d probably be totally fine to hang out in a small town for a few days. It’s not like anyone there knew I was a wanted criminal. But because I was wanted, I couldn’t just use my bank account to pay for things like food and a place to stay. Ryker had been recorded as being in Tennessee and it’d look suspicious if his account was used in. . .“What state are we in?”
“We passed into Arkansas when we crossed the river.”
“So you’re good at geography too, huh?”
He smirked. “No. I can just read a map.”
“Right.”
We walked for hours. Sweat dripped off my face. “It’s only June. Why is it so hot?”
“June is always hot this far south.”
“We’re lucky if we break seventy-five in the beginning of June where I’m from.”
We talked about the seasons and snow and how different our lives had been before the war.
We found a stream and drank. Around three in the afternoon, a storm rolled through. The cool rain washed over me. I threw my arms out and spun around in circles.
“I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and splashed in a puddle.
“I’m just saying.”
Twenty minutes later, I understood. The humidity soared. The once cool rainwater turned hot, and my clothes stuck to me. My jeans chafed as I walked. I couldn’t tell whether I was covered in sweat or if the rainwater still soaked me. Not only that, but Ryker had been right. Again.
We made it to Mellwood, a small, one streetlight town, by twilight. I couldn’t tell if it was abandoned. The weight of my bag, or lack thereof, made any risk worth it. “I guess we should check the place out.”
We walked down the sidewalk of what appeared to be Main Street. Stores still stood intact. No broken windows or busted doors to indicate the places had been looted. I peered through the window of store and saw items on the shelves. Not a ton of stuff, but more than in the looted places.
“I’m guessing there are still people here.” I looked around more. “Somewhere.”
Ryker pointed to a lone hover truck in a parking lot. “We need food and transportation.”
“I thought you said a car wouldn’t work. Too hard to maneuver through traffic jams.”
“True. But it’s the best we’ve got. For now.”
The truck stood taller than me, even though it sat on the ground instead of hovering. Some red paint peeked out from under the mud-covered sides. I pointed at the top of the bed. “Why the heck does it have an exhaust pipe on it? They stopped using fuel for cars almost fifty years ago.”
He shifted his weight, and his cheeks reddened. “It’s decorative. Some guys like that kind of stuff.”
My mouth formed an ‘o’. “Tell me you didn’t.”
He looked at his feet. “I might have.”
“Oh. My. Gosh. Ryker.” I started to cross the street. “I’m walking over there from now on.”
“Hey.”
I stepped back to his side. “Just teasing you.” I linked my arm through his. “So, about this thing.” I pointed to the truck in front of us. “It’s on the ground. There’s no charge.” I glanced down the street. No streetlights, no lights in any of the buildings. “And no electricity either.”
“I’ve got it covered.” Ryker lifted the duffle bag he’d kept to himself. He pulled out a portable charger with cables.
“That’s what you’ve been hiding? It should charge this truck in no time.” I threw my arms around him. “You’re awesome.”
He wrapped me up in a hug. “If I’d have known I’d get this kind of reaction, I’d have told you a while ago.”
I broke away from him. My face flushed hot. “Let’s get this fired up.”
A thick southern accent made me jump. “You ain’t touchin’ my truck.”
I reached for my gun, only to remember I didn’t have it. Ryker and I both turned to see the guy who spoke. A heavyset man, probably in his late twenties or early thirties, stood about two feet away. He held a laser pistol aimed at my chest. I swallowed hard and put my hands up.
Ryker’s hands were at his shoulders, palms facing the guy. The charger wires dangled from his right hand. “I’m sorry. We didn’t think anyone lived in this town anymore.”
The guy didn’t take his eyes off me. “I tell you what. You can have the truck if I get to spend the night with her.”
My skin crawled at the thought.
Ryker stepped in front of me and swore. “Not on your life.”
I moved next to Ryker and slid into a fighting stance. We’d practiced disarming in the military, and I had plenty of hand-to-hand combat training. Ryker didn’t have any. Finally, something I was better at.
Before the guy, or Ryker, could react, I reached out and grabbed the guy’s wrist. I twisted his arm, forcing him to drop the gun. He lunged at me, and I swept his legs out from under him with a kick.
The guy went face first onto the pavement. I scooped up his gun and pointed it at his head. It wasn’t my rifle, but having a weapon again gave me confidence. I glanced at the cartridge on the gun. A stun cartridge. Good. At least if I had to shoot, I wouldn’t kill him.
I stepped out of his reach and waited for his next move. My heart pounded in my chest.
He picked his head up, eyes wide. Blood streamed from his nose. He spouted words so bad I’d never heard anyone else say them before. Never taking his eyes off me, he felt around on the ground.
“Looking for this?” I waved the gun. Ryker stood next to me, his fists clenched for a fight.
The guy got to his knees and glared at me.
“I have a better idea. You let us take the truck, and I don’t knock you out for the next four hours.” Normally, I wouldn’t have taken the guy’s truck. Everyone was in a bad situation, and yes, I’d stolen things before, but never directly from someone. But this guy ticked me off.
He called me a few choice names, got to his feet, and stepped toward me.
Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger.
CHAPTER 63
RYKER
An hour later, we were on the road. Z sat on the left side of the truck’s bench seat. I sat where the drive would be, if the truck had needed one. Space big enough for a third person stretched between us. Adrenalin still flooded my system, and I had to work to keep my legs from shaking.
“You were awesome back there.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’ve told me that five times already.”
“I guess I have. It’s still true.” I couldn’t get over what she’d done to that guy. The military might have been good for me after all. I mean, sure, I could fight—in a scrappy-kid-in-the-schoolyard kind of way. Nothing like what Z just did.
She looked at her lap. Come to think of it, she hadn’t looked me in the eye since she shot that guy. “You good?”
She nodded. Now I knew something was up. “You can tell me.”
“I shot another person.”
I could barely hear her. “You just stunned him. He’ll be okay.”
She turned to me, threw her arms in the air, and let them slap down on her legs. “I still shot him. What kind of normal person goes around shooting people and stealing their stuff?”
I took her hand. “The war has changed us all.” My chest tightened as I remembered shooting the redheaded girl. I took some deep breaths. “We’ve all done what we’ve had to do—to stay alive.”
She shook my hand off. “I betrayed my friends. I’ve killed like five people. I think. I don’t even know anymore.”
She started muttering names and ticking them off on her fingers. I closed my hand over hers. “It doesn’t matter.”
She flung my hand off. Her voice rose. “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? I’m a horrible person. How can you even be near me?” She hunched over with head in her hands, breathing coming hard and fast.
I wanted to pull her to me and take away all her pain, but I only knew one person who could do that, and I certainly wasn’t Him. “I love you, Z.”
Her head whipped up. Her entire face contorted. She cringed against the door as if I just burned her.
“Are you insane? I’m tainted. I’m vile. I’m no good.” Her hands clenched on her chest like she was trying to rip her heart out.
I reached for her, but quickly pulled back. Bad idea. Very bad idea. I’m an idiot.
“You’ve killed someone too.” She pointed at me. “How can you stand it? Why don’t you hate yourself?”
She might as well have punched me. The air went out of my lungs. I had killed someone. But God. I sucked air in through my mouth. “I don’t hate myself because I know I’m loved despite what I’ve done.” I paused. “And so are you.”
“No one should love me. Ever. Do you hear me?”
“Your mom loves you. Jonathan loves you. Your cousin. The rest of your family.”
She cowered into the seat as if trying to disappear.
I steeled myself for her rejection this time. “I love you. And so does God.”
She shook her head, tears flying from her cheeks. “I—I’ve been reading that book. I’m not worthy of anyone. Especially G—God.”
I lowered my voice. “Then you haven’t been reading it right. No one is worthy. But God loves us anyway.”
I scooted toward her, taking up the middle of the bench seat. She shrank back even further, somehow. There had to be something I could do. Some way to help her. “Please, Z.” I reached for her.
She nodded once. I touched her knee, which she drew up by her face. I begged God to give me the words to help her.
She didn’t uncurl right away, but I felt her relax at my touch. I wiped a tear from her face and stroked her cheek. She leaned her head into my hand. What I wouldn’t give to be able to read her mind. I brushed her hair behind her ear. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
She threw herself at me. I rocked backward but caught us and wrapped my arms around her. She muttered a string of words I couldn’t understand between her sobs into my chest. I held her. Trying to whisper comforting words into her hair, to let her know she was worthy of love. I told her I loved her over and over.
It took a while, but she calmed eventually and pulled her tear-streaked face away from me. “I want what you have.”
Thank you, Lord.
“But I don’t deserve it.”
I stroked her hair. “No one does.” Please, God.
She shook her head. “I c—can’t.”
