Year of the Rat, page 65
part #4 of Changeling Sisters Series
Now my father looked on the verge of losing it. “Shut up,” he growled in Raina’s direction.
She refused to back down. “You were never the Celestial Dragon, Yong Mun Mu. You only pretended to be. You stole Eobshin’s chance to become the bringer of balance and good harvest, and she became a bitter and vindictive destroyer of wealth in retaliation. A real Celestial Dragon never would have needed to ally with the Vampyre Queen to protect the East. All you have ever cared about is power.”
“I care about justice!” he ranted, but no lightning danced in his eyes, and his voice was thin and quavering. An old man’s voice. “Eobshin murdered my siblings! She and all of the gods resented our choices. They couldn’t bear the thought of a mere Were becoming the Celestial Dragon over a deity. They destroyed anyone who threatened their supremacy.”
“I wonder,” Raina said, her voice low and biting, “if your siblings died because they no longer had their powers to defend themselves.”
My father raised his hand as if to strike her. Raina’s eyes flashed violet, and a cloud passed over my own, making them black, hollow spaces. Mun Mu stopped short.
“Sun-a,” he pleaded instead. “Surely you do not believe this foreigner.”
Your daughter. I stepped in front of Raina.
It was hard to accept that I had lost my father. Not to a zombie outbreak or to vampyres, but because of what he had done to himself.
He would never be the man I wanted him to be. I understood now that he never could. A different world had shaped him. He had retaliated to shape it in shades of blood, tears, and smoke. He couldn’t leave.
If I didn’t walk away now, then neither would I.
I uttered the question I had been too afraid to ask before:
“Did you give Nyssa a choice to be possessed by Eobshin?”
He could have lied to me. And despite everything he had done, I would have believed him.
Mun Mu sat down heavily in a chair. When he spoke, it was quiet and defeated: “For an orphan with nothing else, is it ever a choice?”
Hope flared madly and pathetically in my chest. Despite everything Raina had told me about what had befallen her at Eobshin’s hands in the Death Palace, I knew now. Nyssa and Eobshin were different people.
I would find out the truth. It might have broken me before, but now, walking away from the man who had made me into the woman I was today, it left me raw, wounded, and cast to the winds.
Free.
“Sun—” He tried again, but I stopped him.
“Never contact me again. I hope they put you in a place with no light. You are dead to me. Let’s go, Raina.”
“You cannot leave,” he protested.
I looked at my father with reddened slaughter eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Ankor. You can keep a relationship with one of your surviving children.” I leaned in. “But don’t wait too long to tell him. He deserves to hear it from you. And you deserve to look him in the eye and tell your story again. And again.”
“Yong Sun Bin, you are my eldest child!” Mun Mu’s voice swelled and then shattered when he realized I wasn’t coming back. “You are my daughter.”
I bit my lip and gazed up at my childhood kitchen ceiling. I knew who I was. Out of all of his children, I was the one who was most like him. Once, that would have made me proud. Once, that was all I longed to hear.
I was older now. I knew the price of it.
“This is me not making your mistakes,” I said, my voice breaking. Then I left my childhood house for the last time.
∞∞∞
I stood on the shores of Eurwangni Beach on the northwestern tip of South Korea. Thin lines of clouds marred a tangerine sun, and the air was still cool this time of year. Seagulls swooped over the ocean, and the sand around my toes grew damp as an incoming front moved in. When the first few splatters of rain hit my face, I hunched down against a log of driftwood.
This place was an easy day trip from Seoul. When we were young, Umma had taken us here whenever she could. I secretly thought she had never cared for the congested city or our lavish lifestyle. Sometimes, I caught her looking at Ankor and me like she didn’t know how such snobbish, pretentious things had ever come out of her. She didn’t like my obsession with glamor: the cupboards full of shimmery eyeshadows and lipsticks that I was too young to wear, or the swanky dresses and heels that gave me power over others, which was something I had craved even from an early age. But Father had whisked my twin and me away the moment we were born and nurtured us with the tenderness of a bird of prey, throwing us out of the nest before we could fly. If we landed, we became heirs to his empire.
My mother never cared about any of that. She remembered the countryside of her youth. And she brought us here whenever she could.
I remembered the first time I knew there was something wrong with her. I wasn’t yet ten, and Heesu was a hyper-energetic toddler terrorizing the beach’s seagulls. One moment, I was laughing with my mother as we watched Heesu rampage through one of my brother’s elaborate sandcastles. In the next, my mother’s hands fell limp from braiding my hair. I looked up, and her face was scary blank.
Heesu ran into the sea. The first wave hit her, and she fell down. Then another wave crashed over her head, and I lost sight of her completely.
I didn’t move, my mind white with panic. Ankor didn’t see. He was focused on remaking his stupid sandcastle that would get knocked down by the ocean anyway. Finally, I ran to the last spot where I’d seen her.
Someone else outpaced me. My mother. She was back. She picked Heesu out of the surf and held her close. Ankor and I may have been changelings to her, but Heesu was her child. Heesu was the wild creature who loved to get dirty and run in the sun. She was the annoyingly upbeat maniac who tailed me everywhere to help with baking or playing my violin and always made things worse.
Heesu’s eyes were wide and frightened. She sat by my mother’s side the rest of the day and didn’t move.
Later, I remembered how my mother had come to my bedroom. In a shaky voice, she’d told me that she needed my help. It was the first time she had ever asked anything of me. I’d sat alert like a soldier, rapturous for her attention.
Look after your sister, Sun-a, I heard her say again from so long ago. Don’t ever leave her unprotected.
The only thing she had ever asked of me, and I had failed her.
I remembered years later when my father found my pile of girl magazines that I was supposed to have thrown away. Ankor had tried to protect me, saying they were his. My father hadn’t believed him. Suddenly, the sterling heir to his empire was tarnished.
I was no longer his child after that.
I went to my mother, but the affliction had taken its toll on her by that point. She was never aware I was there.
And yet, when I put my head on her lap, sobbing, I felt her hand begin to stroke my hair. I believed she understood who I was.
I believed that somehow she knew.
The rain made my paper bag of fried chicken turn into a soggy mess. I stripped off the crispy parts anyhow and chomped noisily. Then I downed the can of lukewarm maekju.
A figure appeared out of the rain. My brother lowered himself down to sit next to me, and we leaned against each other for warmth.
“Appa told me about Umma.” Ankor searched the gray horizon. “Do you think you’ll find her here?”
I wiped crumbs from my hands. So that’s how you’re going to play this, Father. “Makes sense, doesn’t it? I don’t know. If I had a whole ocean to play in, I doubt I would be back anytime soon.”
“I heard you aren’t coming back to Yong Enterprises.”
I smiled. “Do you remember when Appa announced he was sending us abroad for university? I was so excited to go. I wanted to travel and see the world. But I have never seen you scowl more than when you got your acceptance into MIT. You always wanted to stay here in South Korea. You’ve always seen your future here.”
“And you wanted to leave,” he agreed. “I suppose I was…afraid, in a way. I thought all Americans would be like Citlalli.”
“You mean the woman you’re falling in love with.”
He jerked up, and I nearly lost my balance. I harrumphed at him. “Dude, I may not be a scientist, but I know dragon scales when I see them. Appa told us the value of our scales. They should only be given to protect those we truly care for. I don’t see Nara walking around with an obsidian necklace.”
Ankor suddenly became very interested in cleaning raindrops off his glasses. “It was either fix Citlalli or get eaten by zombies.”
“Right.” I smirked. “She’s made you soft. I’m kind of disgustedly happy for you.”
He chuckled and looked away. “Appa says you got into a fight with him.”
I leaned my hooded head on his shoulder. I still ached from the weight of what I'd learned. “I need to find my place in this world.” Taking another breath, I said, “An, in order to defeat that Death Lord, I shattered myself so I could freeze him in my place. I didn’t put myself back together right. I’m like you now.”
Our hearts thumped together in irregular rhythm.
“I know,” he said at last, “but if Citlalli figured out how to heal herself, then you will, too, Sun. You’re the strongest person I know.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
He shoved me playfully. “Then don’t go too far away. And don’t worry, Noona. Wherever you go, we will find each other again. I followed you into this world, and I will follow you out of it.”
I hugged him, the cold breath of memories no longer touching me. My twin rested his chin on my head. “You’re never alone.”
Chapter 88: Change in the Winds
~Sun Bin~
I approached Samson’s office at the newly erected US Embassy at the same time Namkyu, Iseul, and Bae ducked out. The wolves looked proud, but Samson wore an expression like he had just swallowed sour milk.
“Is everything all right?” I asked as the Seoul wolfpack inclined their heads to me.
Iseul folded her arms. “Careful if you are here to make a deal with that one,” she said in Korean, jabbing her head in Samson’s direction. “He tries to take one of our own.”
I looked amongst the three of them before my eyebrows rose incredulously. “You mean Citlalli? But you banished her.”
The three shared a glance. This time, it was Namkyu who spoke: “We did that in memory of Yu Li. She loved that girl like a little sister. Why do you think Yu Li made her Beta, if not to keep her close?”
I felt light-headed. “You cast her out to set her free.”
“The only way Citlalli Alvarez would leave this violent life is through shame,” Iseul said more softly. “She would never go willingly. You may not know this, Dragon Queen, but few Weres are born. They are made, from blood, tears, and pain.”
Bae looked away, frowning. But he said nothing.
“If you will not reconsider, then please be on your way,” Samson said, bored. His narrowed amber eyes fell on me. “Yong Sun Bin. Choose your words carefully. As you can tell, I am not in the best of moods.”
We entered his office. I straightened my dress slacks and tried to pretend that his flat cat stare didn’t unnerve me.
“You were right about my father,” I said at last to break the silence.
Samson’s heavy golden watches clinked as he tapped his fingers against the desk, considering. At last, he reached into his drawer and brought out a decanter of cognac and two glasses. I watched the honey-hued liquid swirl at the bottom for a moment, and then I drank it in one gulp. Samson smiled and poured me another.
“Your brother spoke truly the other night,” he announced. “Yong Enterprises is finished. The government will downplay this the best they can, but there is no way to rebound from a scandal this big. Your brother would be better to sell off the company in parts, lest he face media scrutiny for his role in all of this.”
I drained the second glass as well; the burn stung my throat. “He should, hmmm?”
Samson raised an eyebrow as he filled the cup again. “Why, yes. Since you, I presume, will be the new senior operations director for Saja Corp.” I caught a flash of pointy white teeth. “Overseeing the whole of the Americas. Saja Corp is international, you know.”
“Why, Samson Carver.” I shook my head. “I didn’t know you cared.”
The Golden Mane laughed. “Ah, Yong Sun Bin. I have been trying to recruit you since the zombie outbreak.”
“Glad to know you had your priorities in order.”
Samson shrugged, unabashed. “This isn’t over. The Lords of Walking Death may be gone, but their handiwork remains. The Death Gods are training Weres to hunt humans. No country is safe. This Were mutation virus must be stopped before we have billions of humans hunting us down. Saja Corp has the resources to dedicate an entire department to this, and you can oversee it all.” He added more casually, “It may be beneficial if you could bring over whatever information you have on Project Icarus and the Samjoko Initiative.”
The blood in my veins went cold. I leaned over the table. “Make no mistake, Carver. I may be for sale, but my family isn’t. The Samjoko Initiative stays with my brother.”
Samson put up his hands. “You are enough.”
“I hope my six-figure salary and generous relocation package will be enough, too.”
He chuckled. “Human Resources will love you.”
We toasted again, and Samson gazed into the bottom of his glass. “This will be your chance to get out of your father’s shadow, Sun Bin,” he said softly. “If you stayed at Yong Enterprises, all of your achievements would be compared to his. A career at Saja Corp will show the world who Yong Sun Bin truly is.” He leaned over the desk, smiling unpleasantly. “Royalty is not born on my side of the pond, princess; it is made.”
“Individualism,” I said. “What you Americans pride yourselves so highly on.”
Samson Carver leaned back, pressing his fingers together. “Why do you think I never became an Elder Life Spirit like your father? To become such a high level of spirit guardian means incredible power, it is true. There are very few Weres who could challenge your father at the height of his rule. Yong Mun Mu could even harm the gods themselves, given how he imprisoned Eobshin. But to become an Elder Life Spirit means opening yourself up to your people’s every whim and desire. It makes you cold and pitiless to see their dreams through. It is the ultimate sacrifice to forsake your freewill.” He spoke more softly into his glass, “It’s one I could never do.”
“Elder Life Spirits don’t sound much different than the Dark ones,” I said.
The Golden Mane laughed. “Who says they are any different? Maybe they are just two sides of the same coin. But put them through an intense situation after which they end up on the same side,” he added, gesturing between the pair of us, “and they come out a fucking diamond, baby.”
Chapter 89: Showdown
~Citlalli~
I’d known Rafael had been too quiet. Despite his proclaimed allegiance to my sister, the moment Una called to tell me that Taeyang was missing, I could smell his paws all over it.
All too soon, Rafael summoned me to meet in Bukhansan National Park, a mountain range north of Seoul.
Come alone.
I snapped my phone shut. He was going to regret that one.
I bounded the last few steps of a granite stairway that led into spires of mist carpeting the knife-sharp peaks. Something awoke within me: the thrill of the hunt. The instinct was back, beating in my chest as sure as I could feel Wolf running alongside me. We were impossible to distinguish from one another, and I could taste Wolf’s exultation over dashing free through the wilderness. Since the pack had banished me, I had been little more than a morose ghost haunting a particularly plush sofa in Yu Li’s den. Now I could taste the world again.
I thought I caught a glimpse of a white tail disappear behind a boulder, and my gait buckled.
I arrived at the pass where two curly pinnacles that looked like ram horns jutted up from the earth. A shadow squatted between them. It leaped, and I pulled back into a defensive stance. The barrel of my robotic arm glowed orange in warning.
Rafael laughed. He shoved his hands into his pockets and slunk around the circle of the spire, his brown hair tangled around his ears and his eyes wild.
“I see you have picked up the instincts of an outcast well, Citlalli. It sucks, doesn’t it, not having a pack to count on?”
I circled him just as warily, keeping my arm primed to fire. “The only ones we have to blame for being here are ourselves, Rafael.”
“The child follows her maker,” he mused. “Perhaps I followed my instincts about you as well. You charged me that night in the subway. Ran straight into something you didn’t understand. All you knew was that I had to be put down. You and me, we were never going to play well with others.”
I hadn’t hiked four hours uphill to reminisce about the past. “Where’s Taeyang?”
“Is that what you call that leech?” Rafael snorted, scuffing his faded shoes.
I leaned in. “Taeyang isn’t Khyber, Rafael. He’s his soul. The man Khyber would have been. He healed our people during the Red Night. Una cares for him.”
“Una?” Rafael repeated. “So the Doorkeeper is the leech’s lover?”
His voice was light and playful, but I could read the tension brooding in his muscles. His wolf-like stare never left mine. Waiting for me to blink.
“Why?” I demanded. “You planning on kidnapping her, too, to lure Khyber out? Jesus Christ, Rafael, do you know who you’re acting like? Is this why you wanted to buddy up with my sister, in case she was the one he was in love with? You asked where we would draw the line for Khyber. Well, which line won’t you cross?”
