Blood Ties, page 3
Then her mind drifted back to the nights when as a child she had lain in bed, waiting for her father to come home from the pub. The feeling of fear that never left her throughout her childhood. The violent rows between her parents. Her mother’s injuries the next day. Then the way in which his aggression had escalated over the years, leading to him viciously beating up her brother.
The vivid recollections were only making her anxiety worse so she tried to concentrate on something good instead: her grandma. She was the one who had always supported Adele and Peter, and encouraged her to make a better life for herself – until she died from cancer. Unfortunately, despite her grandmother’s best attempts, Adele had still ended up in this place.
Soon after the guard had locked the cell door the night noise started. Prisoners were shouting to each other from cell to cell.
‘You alright, Jen?’ Adele could hear amongst other conversations. Then she heard the ear-splitting sound of a panicked scream and someone else screeching to be let out. Loud banging followed, as it did most nights. It was the cue for others to join in and a relentless din took over the prison. Inmates were yelling and screaming while the guards competed with an incessant metallic banging as they shouted for the prisoners to keep quiet. It was some time before the racket abated and Adele finally fell asleep.
*
Adele had been wrong about Anna. The next day Anna still refused to tell her what crime Caroline had committed: saying only that Adele should ask Caroline herself, but it would be best to choose her moment carefully. Adele knew that this was Anna’s way of wielding power. Any advantage she had over others helped to mask her own insecurities.
Although Adele could have asked someone else, it didn’t feel right to do so. Besides, she was still learning who she could trust and who she couldn’t, and she didn’t want to risk it getting back to Caroline that she had been asking questions about her.
Adele knew enough to realise that the rumour mill in this place worked on overtime, and she wouldn’t want Caroline to think she had been disloyal. It left her with no choice: she would have to ask Caroline herself but, like Anna said, she would have to choose her moment carefully.
Chapter 4
Adele met Caroline on the corridor, which was full of excited chatter as hordes of prisoners made their way to classes. It was a rare treat in the prison and something Adele and most of the other inmates eagerly anticipated.
‘You alright?’ Caroline asked.
It was a typical question from Caroline, but it put Adele on guard. She felt as though Caroline had picked up on her unease following the conversation with Anna the previous day.
She tried to appear relaxed. ‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Art class is always something to look forward to, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, very therapeutic. And, God knows, we need that in this place.’
Adele recognised an opportunity to steer the conversation round to what she wanted to know but she avoided appearing too blatant.
‘Yeah, you’re right. But it’s not only this place. It helps to take your mind off things on the outside.’
She noticed Caroline’s expression change: a shifting of the eyebrows and a furrowing of her brow. Adele continued, knowing she had hit a nerve. ‘Y’know, it helps you to deal with the demons,’ she said.
She stared into Caroline’s eyes, waiting for a response but, just then, Denise came bustling up with Louise in tow. Adele flinched as Denise held out her hand to her, worried about what Denise would do next.
Denise surprised her. ‘I just wanna say, no hard feelings,’ she gushed, grabbing Adele’s hand and shaking it. ‘I just got the wrong end of the stick… sorry… I should have known it’s not your bag, anyway.’
Adele gazed back open-mouthed with shock before replying, ‘N-no problem. Sorry if I was a bit rough. I forget at times, it’s just automatic.’
‘That’s alright,’ said Denise, forcing a grin.
‘I’m sorry, too,’ said Louise, following Denise’s lead. ‘I mean… that Denise thought something was going on. ’Cos there wasn’t. Well, we both know that, don’t we?’
Adele grinned back, amused at Louise’s attempts to extricate herself from any suspicion, then watched them both hurry on up the corridor.
She turned to Caroline. ‘Well, that’s a relief,’ she said. ‘I was half expecting a bit more bother from them two.’
‘Don’t be so sure,’ warned Caroline.
‘What do you mean?’ Adele felt a rush of fear.
Caroline sniffed. ‘The whole thing looked a bit devious to me. Denise is either kowtowing to you because you’ve got the better of her or she’s trying to lull you into a false sense of security.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, you need to watch your back. She’s a sly one and I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.’
A cold chill shot through Adele and she didn’t speak for a few seconds.
‘Don’t let it worry you,’ said Caroline, seeing the concern painted across her friend’s face. ‘After all, you’ve got the better of her once so you can do it again. But watch for Louise siding with her, and try to make sure you’re never alone.’
‘OK, thanks,’ said Adele.
They continued walking to their art class. Adele remembered their earlier conversation and was wondering how to get back on topic when there was a commotion a few metres ahead of them. The crowded corridor became even more packed as everyone rushed to see what was happening. Adele and Caroline followed.
Once they had reached the scene, Caroline broke through the crowd with Adele behind her. There, on the floor surrounded by inmates, was a woman. She was convulsing, and Adele watched, alarmed, as her arms and legs twitched uncontrollably. Caroline stepped forward and immediately took control.
‘Step back!’ she said. ‘Give her space. Has anyone got a pillow?’ When no one responded she turned to Adele. ‘See what you can find, will you? Just something soft to put under her head.’
The woman continued thrashing around as the throng of women gasped, and Caroline struggled to undo the top button of her blouse. For a few seconds Adele watched, her mouth agape, until Caroline prompted her. ‘Adele! A pillow?’
Adele snapped to and she was about to go in search of one when someone passed a rolled-up sweater to Caroline, who placed it beneath the woman’s head.
‘Help me hold them back,’ Caroline said to Adele. ‘She needs space.’
She followed Caroline’s lead, spreading her arms out to hold back the masses of curious onlookers. Adele’s heart beat rapidly as she watched the woman on the ground, her body jerking involuntarily. ‘Will she be OK?’ she asked Caroline, her voice full of concern.
‘Yes, she’ll come out of it soon. Don’t worry.’
They continued to hold the prisoners back. Adele could feel the crowd of women pressing behind her as they tried to catch a glimpse of the woman on the ground.
‘Keep back! Give her space,’ Caroline kept repeating, and Adele could see the determination on her face.
Two prison officers arrived just as the woman was coming out of the epileptic fit.
‘Get back!’ one of them shouted.
Then they stepped forward, pushing Adele and Caroline out of the way while they attended to the woman and put her in the recovery position.
‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ Caroline muttered sarcastically as she and Adele walked away.
‘Bloody hell! That was scary,’ said Adele.
Caroline smiled. ‘You’ll get used to it.’
‘What? You mean, it’s happened before?’
‘Oh, yeah. To her and a couple of others.’
Adele stared back at Caroline in shock.
‘She’s a druggie,’ said Caroline. ‘Withdrawal can do that to them.’
‘Oh my God! I didn’t realise. It was so scary.’
‘Yeah, it is the first time you see it.’
‘You were brilliant,’ said Adele.
‘Not really. You just know what to do once you’ve seen a few.’
‘Can it harm them?’
‘Not usually. Most fits are over in a few minutes. The main thing is to give them room so they don’t bang themselves on anything and to cushion their heads and loosen any clothing around the throat so it’s not restricting their breathing. The trouble is, most prisoners are too busy gawking to do what needs to be done.’
‘I noticed,’ said Adele, beginning to relax now it was over.
‘Come on, we’re late to class,’ said Caroline, speeding up the corridor.
In all the furore Adele had forgotten what she had been about to ask Caroline.
*
It was a few days later when Glynn called at Peter’s apartment again. Peter ignored the doorbell at first; he was too busy entertaining two fashion models he had picked up the previous night.
When the ringing of the doorbell became insistent he slung on the jeans that he’d dropped on the bedroom floor in his haste to bed the two beauties, and he went out to the hall to see who it was. Peter pulled open his front door and found Glynn standing outside, looking exasperated.
‘You took your time,’ Glynn said. Then, as he took in Peter’s semi-undressed state despite the fact that it was mid-afternoon, he grinned before asking, ‘You been busy?’
Peter smiled back and said, ‘Hang on a minute.’
He left Glynn in the living room while he told the two girls to get dressed and go home. He couldn’t risk anyone overhearing his conversation with Glynn. Once he’d seen the girls leave his apartment, Peter came back into the living room where three champagne glasses and two empty bottles still littered the coffee table.
‘Got any news?’ he asked Glynn as he poured them each a tumbler of brandy and sat down.
‘Oh, yeah,’ said Glynn. ‘But I don’t think you’re gonna like it.’
‘Go on,’ said Peter, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply.
‘I saw Dave in the Sportsman’s. He was having a long chat with Steve Miller.’
‘Did he see you?’
‘Don’t think so. I was on the other side of the bar. I peeped through a couple of times. He must have been talking to him for a good fifteen minutes from what I saw.’
‘I never knew they were friends,’ said Peter, gripping his brandy glass tightly till his knuckles turned white.
‘Well, Pete, they looked pretty fuckin’ cosy to me.’
‘The double-crossing bastard!’ Peter cursed.
‘There’s more,’ said Glynn. ‘I wanted to be sure so I checked with a mate of mine. He reckons Dave has been seeing Steve Miller a lot and they both score from the same supplier.’
‘You’re fuckin’ joking!’ said Peter, his face turning crimson.
‘Wish I was, Pete.’
Peter got up and started pacing his apartment. ‘Who is this mate? Is he kosher?’ he demanded.
‘Smithy? Yeah, course he is. I wouldn’t have taken his word for it otherwise.’
‘And can he be trusted not to let things go any further?’
‘Sure. I’ve already put him straight on that.’
‘The fuckin’ bastard!’ Peter cursed again. ‘I can hardly believe it, but it must be Dave who betrayed me,’ he continued. ‘I can’t see any other reason why he’d be getting so cosy with the Millers. And if he’s scoring from the same fuckin’ supplier, well, that says it all, doesn’t it?’
‘Looks that way… Sorry, Pete. I hate to be the one to break it to you. I know how close you and him were.’
‘Yes, we were,’ said Peter. ‘But not any fuckin’ more! He’s been going downhill ever since he got hooked on the fuckin’ coke. I think you and me need to pay Dave a visit and have a little chat.’
He emphasised the word ‘chat’ and they both knew what the implications were. This wasn’t going to be a cosy chat. Peter wanted answers from David and if he didn’t like the answers he gave, then he and Glynn would take whatever action was necessary.
‘Sure. You know I’ll back you up, mate. Any time,’ said Glynn.
Chapter 5
Adele had to wait until they had ‘association’ before she had chance to speak to Caroline again. This was the period in the evening when inmates were free to mix with each other, and Adele often spent that time in Caroline’s company. She found her in her cell alone, sitting on the bed reading a book. It always amazed Adele how Caroline managed to read effortlessly considering the clamour of prison life. Maybe it just took time to acclimatise to the noise.
‘Hi, how’s things?’ Caroline asked.
‘Not bad,’ said Adele. ‘What about you?’
‘OK, yeah.’
Adele decided that if she wanted to find out what Caroline was in for then there was no sense in beating about the bush.
‘Caroline, I’ve been wanting to ask you something,’ she began, tentatively.
Caroline’s expression changed straight away to one of sadness, perhaps tinged with guilt; it was difficult to tell. Her tone of voice changed too and it now had a hard edge to it. ‘Let me guess,’ she said. ‘You want to know what I’m in here for.’
‘Well, yeah. But if you’d rather not talk about it, that’s OK.’
‘No, it’s alright.’ Caroline sighed as she fidgeted nervously with the bedcover. ‘I thought you might ask eventually. In fact, I’m surprised no one’s told you. Anna’s not usually one to keep a secret.’
It was as though Caroline was delaying the inevitable revelation. There was now a tone of irony in her voice – something Adele hadn’t heard before – and she decided to tread carefully. She felt a pang of disquiet, which caused a prickle down her spine. It was obviously a sensitive subject.
‘She wouldn’t tell me,’ said Adele. ‘But you know Anna: knowledge is power, and all that.’
As soon as she said the words she realised how inappropriate they sounded and she quickly backtracked. ‘I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm, though.’
‘It’s OK,’ said Caroline. ‘It’s probably best you hear it from me anyway.’ She sighed again and there was a long pause before she continued. ‘It’s… for murder… my sentence… it’s murder. But I expect you guessed that anyway.’
‘Kind of, I suppose,’ answered Adele, ‘although I didn’t know what to think really—’
Caroline quickly cut in as though she wanted to get this thing out of the way now that she had started. ‘It was my husband.’
She looked up at Adele, seeking her approval before continuing. Adele nodded, and Caroline dropped her gaze to her lap.
‘He’d been abusing me for years,’ she said, as she continued to fidget with the bedcover, no longer able to meet Adele’s eyes. ‘I know,’ she added, pre-empting Adele’s response, ‘I should have left him. That’s what everyone says. But until you’ve been in that situation, you don’t know. It happens gradually, over months or years. And you just get pulled along with it.
‘It was his way of dealing with stress, unfortunately. A raised voice here, a slammed door there, if someone had upset him at work. Then sometimes he went too far and lashed out at me if I said a wrong word or even if I said something unintentional. He always took it the wrong way and it was difficult to calm him down, to make him see that I was on his side. Then, as time went on, his rages got worse.
‘I suppose part of me wanted the man I married to come back. We were blissfully happy at first, and I wanted to relive those times so much… And there were still flashes of his old self from time to time, even at the end. That’s what kept me going, I suppose, the thought that the man I loved would return to me.
‘I used to make excuses for him, telling myself that it was because of the stress he was under, and that once things improved for him at work he’d go back to being his old self again. But as the years went by it was as though I didn’t recognise him anymore. He changed so much.’
Her voice was now trembling and she looked at Adele again.
‘It’s OK, you don’t have to,’ said Adele. ‘Not if it’s too painful.’
‘No, you need to hear it. Sooner or later someone will tell you and I’d rather you heard it from me.’
‘OK, if you’re sure,’ said Adele.
Caroline took a deep breath and her gaze fell to her lap once more. ‘It would affect our lovemaking too. It often felt like he was seeking reassurance, wanting to know that someone still loved him. But he was never gentle when he was in one of those moods, not like he used to be. And I didn’t dare say no, even though I knew it was going to be painful. Because if I did, he would accuse me of not caring, or even of having an affair.
‘This particular night, he was home late. Thankfully the kids were stopping over at my mother’s. It was obvious he’d been drinking and he started on me straight away. I tried to pacify him but he was having none of it. We were in the kitchen, arguing. I was fed up of trying to massage his ego and I started to retaliate. But he didn’t take kindly to hearing a few home truths.’
She paused and took another deep breath, and Adele could see that her hands were shaking. Adele was about to say that she didn’t need to hear any more when Caroline carried on, ‘He was really hammering his fists into me. I didn’t think he’d ever stop. And I was scared. But I was angry too.
‘Eventually he did stop. I was on the kitchen floor. He’d just raped me… taken me there on the floor! I was bleeding from my nose and I was bashed and bruised. “That’ll teach you,” he said, walking away and, I don’t know why, but for some reason I just flipped.
‘He had his back to me as he walked away. I hated him for what he’d done. I was furious! I got up, rushed to the kitchen drawer and grabbed the first knife I could lay my hands on. I ran at him with it and stabbed him in the back of the neck. The blood was gushing and he yelled. Then I stabbed him again, and again. Until he was still. He fell to the floor and I kicked at him. Then I dropped to my knees, yelling at him. Calling him all the horrid names I could think of for what he’d put me through.
