Love Prevails Through Silence, page 21
Noah drew a deep breath. “Mayhap,” he said.
Amy grinned. “You can’t really argue about that—it’s true.”
Noah had to laugh. “Yes, I reckon it is.” What could he say? He was surprised—and delighted—to see this new side of Amy, one that allowed her to be confident enough to reach out to him, to play with him, to tease him just a little. It felt so good to get to know her in this free, easy way.
He was so glad he had finally told her the truth about his past.
They sat quietly side by side for a long moment.
“I don’t know what to say,” Amy said after being silent for a while. “I just…I can’t imagine anything about your life before.”
Noah chuckled. “Not much to imagine,” he said.
Amy tilted her head, looking up at him. “I guess not. Your farm was probably like this one—maybe a bit bigger.”
“A little smaller, actually,” Noah agreed. “But the land was better. It had rich, dark earth that you could dig into and practically smell the goodness.”
Amy laughed. “You speak like someone who’s done a lot of farming.”
Noah smiled. “Not really,” he said. “I mean, I did farm for a few years, and I worked on the ranch before that.”
Amy nodded. “You see, so you have done a lot.”
Noah just nodded. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to tell her how inadequate he felt, how terribly afraid he was that he would fail again. Worse, that he would fail her.
He hoped that he would be able to make this land fruitful, and that, soon—when the first vegetables got ready—they would be able to make a profit. He couldn’t wait for the time when they would be able to pay back the debt and start being able to enjoy their abundance.
They sat quietly and, after a long moment, Amy stretched her arms.
“I should go and get working in the house.”
“Dressmaking?” Noah asked.
Amy nodded. “I thought I’d make a few things.”
“I should get into the field again,” Noah said. He sniffed. He felt lighter since he’d cried, as if a weight that had been on his chest for so long had finally been lifted off.
“Maybe,” Amy said.
They looked at each other and Noah felt his lip lift at the corner. She looked so lovely in that moment, dark eyes wide as she looked up at his face.
He reached over and stroked her cheek, and he was relieved when she didn’t tense and draw back from him. Her gaze was soft, and Noah felt his heart ache. He longed to kiss her.
“You’re a lovely woman,” he said.
Amy went pink. “Oh, Noah…”
He smiled. He hadn’t meant to make her feel awkward. He looked away. He drew another deep breath, but she was already walking down the path back toward the kitchen.
“…and I thought we could have potatoes for dinner. We could stew them again, and maybe add some of that spice you found for flavor…”
Noah nodded. He appreciated Amy’s cooking, and he would never dream of advising her. “That sounds good,” he said.
Amy smiled over her shoulder, and they went into the house together.
Noah looked around, reaching for his satchel. He’d need a sandwich or two to take into the field to keep him going until dinnertime. He saw Amy frown as he went to the counter.
“I’m sure there were two loaves of bread,” Amy said.
Noah frowned too. “You did say you’d baked four,” he agreed. They’d eaten two over the last two days, but that meant there should be two left still.
There was only one.
Amy looked in the cupboard, but she shook her head.
“It’s not there either,” she told him.
Noah shrugged. “Maybe I ate more than I remember,” he said. It wasn’t that serious—after all, there was still plenty of flour, and Amy had been clever with the yeast, making it last long.
Amy was still frowning as he cut some bread and buttered it.
“I know there was another loaf,” she said. “I’m sure I made four.”
Noah nodded. “I’m sure you did, sweetling,” he said gently.
He packed his bag and went to join her by the counter. She seemed worried and he took her hand in his, hoping to reassure her.
“I’m sure the mystery is me eating more than I ought,” he said, wanting to make her laugh.
She chuckled and he took his bag with his sandwiches and went out into the field. He felt light-hearted and happy, and he was sure there was nothing to concern them; he’d just forgotten what he’d had for breakfast. There was no reason to suspect anything else.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Amy looked at the box in front of her—Noah had found it in the barn and slowly repaired it, and now it was brimful with tomatoes. Their first crop!
She felt her heart thud with excitement. This was it! Their first crop of sweet, fresh, fragrant tomatoes, and they were ready to take them to the market later. She grinned over at Noah, who was somewhere further down the row of plants adjusting a support for one plant that was heavy with the bright, red globes.
“Oh, Noah!” she said. He looked up. “It’s so exciting! I can barely believe it.”
Noah grinned. “I know. It’s been a good while, but here they are.”
Amy rolled up her own sleeves. It was hot outside. She looked down the rows of tomatoes, inspecting the extent of their labors. She could still see red showing in between the green and yellowing leaves higher up—they’d decided to pick all the ripe tomatoes today and take them to market in the afternoon. Her stomach twisted with excitement. There were so many—more than she’d ever expected. With a fair price, they could expect to make enough to purchase some chickens.
“I’ll carry those to the cart,” Noah said.
“Good,” Amy agreed. She watched as Noah bent over, his strong back straining to lift the box, and then he rested it easily on his hip, carrying another at the same time. She blushed, seeing how strong he was, and then smiled, her heart full of warmth.
Whenever she looked at him, she felt that same tingling delight. It was a feeling that she was starting to question. She had prayed for guidance, but so far, she had not received anything specific. All she knew was that she felt something wonderful whenever Noah was nearby. And it wasn’t admiration—although it felt like it—and it wasn’t compassion, although she felt sorrow for his past pains.
It was a wonderful mix of gratitude, joy, happiness, excitement, longing, and respect. It was something she had no words for. She just knew it was wonderful.
She was starting to think it was love.
“Here we are,” Noah called. “Now just one more box and we’re ready to go. Will you come and get in, my sweetling?”
“Most certainly,” Amy agreed. She smiled up at him warmly.
She waited while he carried the last box across to the cart and then paused, her heart full of warmth.
God, she said in the silence of her mind. Thank you for this harvest. Thank you for bringing us to this precious moment. Thank you for bringing so much goodness to my life.
She went to join Noah at the cart.
It was almost impossible to believe, sometimes, how joyful her life was. She had only one wish, and that was that Noah would follow her to the church one day. She felt so deeply fond of him, but there was some reservation between them. They didn’t talk of certain matters, and she wished he could share his struggles with faith with her. Maybe if they could talk about it, she could help him.
“Off we go,” Noah said with a grin.
“Indeed, we do,” Amy replied. She watched him take the reins and they set off, the cart moving forward at an easy pace.
The countryside was warm still, though Amy could feel that there was a touch of autumnal coolness in the air.
“We’ll make good time with them,” Noah said, tapping her lightly on the shoulder so that she knew he wanted to speak.
“Yes,” she agreed. She chuckled. It felt good to be moving along with the donkeys pulling them ahead. When she looked around, the countryside seemed so different from up here; the hills seemed taller, the grass greener as it rippled in the breeze. She grinned at Nathan. “It’s so lovely.”
Nathan smiled back.
The trip to the village was much shorter by cart, and Amy grinned as she recognized the old courthouse.
As Noah had said, soon they were halting in the square where the market was to be held. Noah had informed her that he’d rented a table for them right at the edge of the market, and there it was, a white cloth covering it. Amy tensed, seeing Mrs. Black one table down. She wished the woman hadn’t come.
Maybe she’ll go soon, she thought. After all, she only had a few wares on her table—some lettuce and cheese. Noah had to run an errand while he was in the town, so he’d have to leave her on her own to man their table. Amy’s insides cramped with nerves.
She was going to have to talk to people.
She took a deep breath. It didn’t seem as terrifying now as it had in the past, but she still felt nervous.
“Please, Noah,” she murmured. “Be quick?”
Noah grinned and squeezed her hand warmly. “I will. I promise,” he said.
They set out the stall together, the shiny tomatoes and bunches of scrubbed carrots a beautiful contrast to the white cloth that covered the table. Amy looked out over the scene and took a deep breath. She could see people starting to walk towards the stalls—ladies in smart outdoor capes, others in the livery that marked them as servants in an important household. One or two laborers were there too—men in hard-worn trousers and flat caps coming to purchase their lunch for the day.
She saw a woman approach her table.
As she watched, the woman glanced sideways. She was looking at Mrs. Black. Amy had thought that the woman was going to come to purchase something at her table, but at the last minute, the lady turned around and went towards Mrs. Black’s stall instead.
Amy drew a breath. “Maybe she just wanted lettuce, not tomatoes,” she told herself aloud.
She looked out across the market, watching as more people came to survey the stalls. It was simple fare and the people who came to buy were mostly shopkeepers, odd-job men, and the housekeepers or servants who worked for the handful of wealthy families in town. Amy watched as a woman in a smart uniform went across to Mrs. Black’s table.
She frowned as the woman took some carrots—Mrs. Black also had some carrots for sale, it seemed.
Amy felt her brow lower, wondering why the woman hadn’t bought from her instead, since they also had carrots. They were good ones, too—much better, in her opinion, than Mrs. Black’s were.
The woman probably knew Mrs. Black, Amy decided. And besides, she had a right to purchase from whatever stall she chose. Maybe Mrs. Black had cheaper carrots. There could be a dozen reasons why.
It couldn’t be the one reason she was thinking.
She watched as a customer went up to Mrs. Black’s stall again—this time, the customer looked like a local woman. She saw Mrs. Black lean forward and say something, and Amy couldn’t be mistaken that, for a moment, Mrs. Black looked straight at her. Her gaze was hard, and her mouth was moving in harsh movements. Even though Amy was too far from her to lipread with much accuracy, she could see the hard lines of the other woman’s mouth. She could tell that Mrs. Black was saying something unkind—no shock, there.
“…workhouse…”
Amy shut her eyes. She didn’t want to know.
She swallowed hard as the woman to whom Mrs. Black had spoken bought some lettuce and disappeared among the rest of the crowd.
Amy was sure she wasn’t imagining it now—people were giving her stall a wide berth, as though there was something wrong with it.
She looked over the heads of the crowd, wishing that Noah would come back. She needed to talk to him. She wanted to get away from here. Something was going on and, whatever it was, she was sure that she needed his help with it.
***
It took him an hour, but when he returned to the stall, Amy was in tears. She had been standing with a hard, tense expression and as he came up to her. He noted that it wasn’t just a look of shyness or uncertainty.
Noah held out his arms and held her tight, not wanting to let her go. He felt rage fill his heart at whoever had made her cry. She was sobbing, weeping bitter tears in his arms and he set aside his rage—he had to set it aside to make room for caring for her.
“Shh, sweetling,” he said gently. “Shh, now. It’s all right. What happened?”
“Nobody…nobody’s bought anything!” Amy said.
Noah sighed. He’d made five dollars with the various jobs he’d done, but maybe he ought not to have left her here for so long. She was clearly upset that the market so far wasn’t going as they’d hoped.
“It’s all right, my dear. It’s not your fault. It’ll take time. And we’re not the only people selling tomatoes here today. Maybe that’s the trouble.” He tried to smile at her reassuringly. Seeing the pain on her face twisted his heart.
“No!” Amy insisted. Her face was tear-stained and Noah hugged her again, holding her tight. She sobbed against him. Noah gestured to a boy who was standing nearby; the son of one of the local farmers.
“Can you mind the stall for us, Hal?” he asked him. “We’ll not be more than an hour.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Bradford,” the youth replied.
Noah thanked him and, holding her hand, led Amy around the corner and away from the market.
“What is it, sweetling?”
“It…it’s because…because she said…” Amy was almost unable to speak. Noah had never seen her quite so distressed before. He didn’t know what to say. All he could think of was prompting her gently.
“Because who said…?” he inquired caringly.
“Mrs.…Black.” Amy swallowed hard. He stared at her.
“Mrs. Black?” he asked. “Our neighbor? What’s she been saying?” He felt rage build up inside him.
“That,” Amy coughed then tried to speak more clearly. “That I’m trash from the workhouse. That I’m dirty and they mustn’t buy our produce.” She started crying again. “She said I’m deaf and that means I’m condemned by God for my sinning ways.”
“What?” Noah shouted. He hadn’t meant to, but the resulting anger was too big to hold in. “What?” he said again, softer this time. “How dare she?”
“I…I saw her,” Amy said. “She doesn’t know that I can understand what she says. I lipread her when she was at her stall. She was telling a customer that.”
“What?” Noah blazed. “Honey, that’s terrible. I am so sorry. I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
People had said so many wicked things about her in her life—she’d been insulted and berated since she was a small child. How dare this woman who didn’t even know or understand anything about Amy spread such hideous slander about her?
Noah wanted to march back down the street and confront her, but he knew that couldn’t be his priority. His priority was Amy, who was deeply distressed. He held her tightly, letting her cry. In his arms, she shifted position and looked up at him, eyes wide.
“Noah…” Amy whispered. “If everyone thinks that…what if it’s true?”
Noah felt himself stiffen. If he had been furious before, he was unstoppable now. He felt his hands clench into fists, but he didn’t want to scare her.
“No, sweetling,” he said. “No. It isn’t true. And please know that I’m not angry with you. I’m angry with Mrs. Black. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost control.”
“Don’t…hurt her,” Amy whispered. “I don’t want that.”
Noah let his fists uncurl as he sighed. He knew Amy was right. “The sheriff will come and then I’ll be in trouble. But this is slander,” he said, feeling furious.
“It’s not just that,” Amy said. “Christ said we should forgive those who trespass against us.”
Noah stared at her. He had heard that—anyone who’d ever been to church had heard that prayer—but he’d not been inclined to take it seriously.
He drew a deep breath. “That’s true,” he admitted. “But it’s not so easy when it’s someone you love who’s suffering.”
Amy looked up at him and Noah went pink. He hadn’t admitted to her until now that he loved her.
He stared into her eyes, and he saw her gaze brighten.
