Phantom (Devil's Boneyard MC 10), page 3
By the time we were ready to leave, my stomach was in knots. I didn’t know what the future held for us. We’d be safe from Heather, but I didn’t know the first thing about surviving on my own. No one in town had wanted to hire the deaf girl. I’d never had a job. Didn’t know how to pay bills, or even find a place to live. I’d done the shopping for the house, with Heather’s money. I couldn’t leave. If I had, no one would have tried to protect the boys. I hadn’t done a good job of it, but there were times I’d managed to distract Heather.
I reached up and touched one of my ears. I didn’t regret my decision that night. It might not have saved them for long, but any reprieve had been better than none. Yes, it had cost me dearly, but I’d gained a lot too. That was the night the boys and I had become family. Unfortunately, Heather had realized I would go to any lengths to protect them, and she’d used it against me. Thankfully none of her friends had enjoyed girls, so I’d been spared that fate. It hadn’t stopped them from doing other things.
Maybe my disfigured ears were a blessing. I didn’t know any man who’d want an ugly wife. If my ears scared him away, then I didn’t have to worry about him seeing the rest of me. The Jeep ate up the miles as Phantom put more distance between us and the town I’d called home for so long. When he stopped again, it was to pull into the parking lot of a hotel.
He shut off the engine and turned to the boys, saying something, before facing me. He made sure he had my attention before he spoke. “Follow my lead when we go inside. Don’t freak out by anything I say.”
I tipped my head wanting to ask what he meant, but Phantom was already getting out of the vehicle. The boys and Nova got out too, so I followed them. We went into the lobby, and I looked around, noticing the nice furniture and how clean everything appeared. He hadn’t stopped at just any hotel. He’d picked one that would be comfortable for all of us.
Phantom spoke to the woman at the front desk, and I glanced at Joey, noticing he’d started to sign. He asked for a room for his wife and kids.
My heart nearly stopped. Was someone meeting us here? Panic started to flood my system and I wanted to bolt. Joey reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a shake to get my attention again. He means all of us. He called you his wife.
Everything went still. Wife? Phantom had told them we were married? And these were our children? Longing filled me, for a life I knew I’d never have. My throat grew tight, and I fought to stay in control of my emotions. The woman gave Phantom two keycards, and he led the way to the elevators. We went upstairs and stopped in front of a room.
Phantom opened the door and motioned for all of us to step inside.
If we were all going into this room, why was there a second keycard?
* * *
Phantom
I faced the little group, making sure Charisma would be able to watch my lips and not miss anything I had to say. Claiming this was my family had been a gamble. Thankfully, none of the kids had said anything, and they’d not looked surprised. If anything, little Nova and the youngest boy had seemed excited.
“I checked us in as a family.” I watched Charisma. “I told them you’re my wife and kids.”
“You don’t seem old enough to have three kids,” the oldest boy said.
I smiled. “I’m older than you think. I could be Charisma’s dad and your grandpa. Guess I could have gone that route instead.”
Little Nova’s eyes went wide, and she looked at her mom before coming closer. She wrapped her arms around my waist, and I hugged her to me.
“I like you being my dad better,” she said. “Then Mom wouldn’t be alone. And then I’d have brothers for real.”
“We are your brothers,” the oldest boy said. “We’ve also decided we do want new names. We want you to pick them. Dad.”
I hugged Nova even tighter as my emotions got the better of me. The only thing I’d ever wanted and been unable to have was a family. Until now. The boys clearly wanted to stay with me. I just hoped I could convince Charisma and Nova to stick around too. I didn’t like the idea of the two of them leaving.
“Do you still want Chinese names?” I asked the boys. They both nodded. I pointed to the oldest first. “Your name is Li. Since you’ll be my son, your full name is Li Nakamura.”
The youngest stood a little straighter. “And me?”
“Jian Nakamura.”
I saw tears shimmering in Charisma’s eyes and I stepped a little closer to her, taking Nova with me. I reached up and cupped Charisma’s cheek. Her lips trembled and she pressed them together, clearly trying to put on a brave face. I could tell the boys meant the world to her. Did she really think I’d ever try to separate her from them?
“My friend is a hacker. The one who found out about you and the boys. He can do all sorts of things, including making those two officially mine. But he can do more than that. He can make you and Nova mine too.” I leaned in even more. “My wife and my daughter.”
Her breath caught and a distressed sound escaped her as she stumbled back from me. I backed off, having clearly misread everything. I tugged Nova loose and sent her to her mother. It seemed I’d get half my wish. I’d get two sons, but the woman and daughter would never be mine. They’d leave, and I’d have to let them.
I rubbed my hands up and down my thighs. “Right. Well, all of you need some essentials. Li, write down everyone’s sizes for me. I’ll run to pick up some things at a nearby store and when I come back, we can figure out dinner. I’m sure you’d all like a shower and something clean to wear.”
Li found a pad and pen next to the phone. He wrote down the information for the two of them, then asked Nova about things for her and Charisma. When I had the list, I paused at the door, looking back at the four of them. Everything I wanted was in this room. It just wasn’t the right time for me to have it. Maybe I never would.
I left them and went down to the Jeep. Using my phone, I found the nearest big box store and drove straight there. I picked out four outfits for each of them as well as pajamas and grabbed a pair of pajama pants for myself since I hadn’t packed any. I picked up undergarments for the four of them, trying not to think too hard about the bras I selected for Charisma. It was damn hard not to imagine her wearing them, and me getting to take them off her.
Heading to the bath and beauty section, I got combs for the boys, and brushes for Charisma and Nova. I tossed in a package of hair ties in case they wanted to pull their hair back, then found deodorant for each of them. Did nine-year-olds wear it? I wasn’t sure, but I found some in the women’s section that was all natural. I figured it wouldn’t hurt Nova to have it. Toothbrushes and toothpaste were added to the cart. Then I realized I’d forgotten socks for all of them.
The shoes they had on would do until we got home. I’d take them shopping for more things once I knew we were safe. I perused a few other sections, grabbing puzzle books and pencils for the kids. I didn’t know if Charisma liked to read, but I decided to take a chance. I grabbed two romances and a mystery. It would give them something to do until we reached the house. I could have kept driving. If it had just been me, I would have. Didn’t matter I hadn’t slept much since I’d first started this trip. Charisma and the kids were what was important.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I smiled when I saw Shade’s text. Your dog is insane! He’d included a picture of Momo, who had somehow gotten the paper towels off the counter and proceeded to not only spread them all over the house, but also shred them. Better those than the furniture. I knew she was pissed I’d left without her.
I sent a quick response. She’s mad I left. Give her an extra treat. The good ones are in the cabinet over the fridge.
He sent back a thumbs-up emoji and I checked out, then loaded the car. The sooner I gave all this to the kids and Charisma the better. I could only imagine how hard it had been to leave without more than the clothes on their backs. I doubted they had much, since Heather didn’t seem to the type to give them toys, game systems, or even decent clothes. Although she might have just for the sake of keeping up appearances. No matter. They’d have what they needed, and what they wanted. I’d make sure of it.
I got back to the hotel and went straight up to the room. I hadn’t had a chance to show them the connecting door or let them know I’d gotten us both rooms for the night. I’d hoped Charisma and I could share one and let the kids have the other. Didn’t seem like that would happen. I could bunk with the boys. The honorable thing would be to let Nova and Charisma have the room with the queen bed. Except I really wanted to hold her while she slept. She’d had such a hard life, and I wanted to shelter her. Protect her. I knew I couldn’t guarantee she’d never experience anything bad ever again, but I wanted to make that promise. She felt like… mine.
Knocking on the door, I waited and smiled when Li cautiously opened it. “I’m back with some things for the four of you.”
I stepped into the room and set the bags down. It didn’t take but a few minutes to divide everything. I left the bras and panties for Charisma in the bag, not pulling them out in front of the boys. I didn’t know how she’d feel about them seeing the garments. I opened the connecting door and showed them the other room.
“You rented both sides?” Li asked.
I nodded. “I did. We can figure out who sleeps where later, but I guess it would be best for the three of us to take one side and let Nova and Charisma take the other.”
The three kids shared a look before turning to face Charisma. She blinked at them and lifted her gaze to mine, her cheeks flushing. What the hell had gone on while I’d been out shopping?
“We’re going to take Nova with us to the other room,” Jian said. “We’ll watch some TV while you and…”
“The two of you should talk,” Li said.
Nova came back over to me, taking my hand. I knelt down to her level and gave her a smile. “What is it, beautiful?”
“You need to tell Mom why you wanted to make her your wife and me your daughter.” She moved in closer and ducked her head, most likely so her mother couldn’t read her lips. “She thinks she’s ugly and no one will ever want her. You need to tell her she’s pretty.”
My lips twitched. Pretty? I kissed Nova on the forehead and sent her from the room. Charisma was far from just pretty. She’d damn near stolen the breath from my lungs when I’d first seen her. I’d wanted her to be mine without having even spoken to her. Sure, it had been a physical reaction, until I’d realized she’d gotten hurt protecting those boys. She was brave. Selfless. An incredible woman I knew I didn’t deserve. She should have someone who could give her the world. Not a dirty biker with blood on his hands.
The kids shut the door, leaving me alone with Charisma. I walked over to the table and pulled out one of the chairs, motioning for her to have a seat, before I took the other. Facing her, I knew I’d need to speak slow enough for her to follow, and I also set my phone on the table with the Notes app open so she could talk to me.
“Earlier, it upset you when I mentioned having Shade work a bit of magic to make you my wife and Nova my daughter.” She pressed her lips together and looked away. I reached out and gently turned her back to me. “If you don’t want to be my wife, it’s all right. I’m a lot older than you. Not to mention we’re strangers.”
She stared and didn’t even attempt to reach for the phone. I’d hoped she’d give me something. A confirmation she just didn’t want to be mine, or an agreement we needed to know one another better. Something. Anything.
“I saw you get out of Heather’s car, when you pulled into the driveaway. It felt like my heart stopped a moment. I’d never seen anyone so… mesmerizing. I watched as you got Nova out of the back seat, then put yourself between the boys and Heather. The fierce way you protected them spoke to me. It also made me wonder who protected you.”
She blinked and her lips parted before she sank her teeth into the bottom one. Slowly, she reached for the phone. You protect me. No one has ever cared before.
I read her message and pressed my forehead to hers before drawing back again. “I’ve wanted a family for as long as I can remember. A woman to call my own, sons and daughters. My parents weren’t the loving sort. They loved me, but they never showed affection. I vowed I’d never be like that. Japanese men in general tend to be a bit more stoic. They hold their emotions close. I never want my family to doubt how I feel about them. I’ll tell them, and show them, every day.”
She fidgeted with the phone a moment before she typed another message. Are we convenient? Would any woman and children do?
I should have anticipated her question. I couldn’t blame her for asking. It wasn’t like we’d had much quality time together. I couldn’t talk to her in the car, since she couldn’t hear me. This was my chance to have a real conversation with her. And I didn’t want to waste it. I had a feeling whatever I said now would help her decide what happened between us.
“You have every right to ask me that. If our roles were reversed, I’d wonder the same thing.” I sighed. “You’re not a convenience, Charisma. None of you are. You’re a gift. The beautiful, courageous woman who sacrificed her hearing to give two boys a night of peace. The young girl who’s survived in hell and is still sweet and wants her mom to be happy. Li and Jian are damaged but not broken. They’re strong and with time and love, they’ll get through the nightmares and become considerate, protective men. I can already see it inside them.”
No one has ever wanted me. Not since my mother died. I’ve never even met my father. He found out she was pregnant and left. He didn’t want me. I looked down at her message and my heart ached for her. To have her dad walk off and never look back? I couldn’t imagine the pain she must have felt, growing up feeling as if she weren’t good enough because the man who should have protected her couldn’t be bothered.
“Do you know his name?” I asked.
He was a biker, like you. I only know his road name. He’s not on my birth certificate.
His road name. That wouldn’t really narrow things down. I knew I wasn’t the only Phantom riding the roads, just like there was more than one Scratch, more than one Dingo, and so on. Unless…
“Do you know what club he rides with?” I asked.
She shook her head. My mom never said, if she even knew.
“I don’t know if there’s a way for Shade to track him down or not. Would you want him to try?”
She hesitated a moment then shook her head. He didn’t want me then. He won’t want me now. I’m damaged.
“Hey.” I curled my hand around the back of her neck. “You are not damaged. You’re a survivor! Your scars are badges of courage. They show you fought back. You didn’t just lie down and take it. Anyone who doesn’t see that, who can’t see you, isn’t worth your time.”
She reached up to cup my cheek, her eyes going soft. She parted her lips like she wanted to speak only to realize she couldn’t. Using the phone again, she told me exactly what she was feeling, and it about tore out my soul.
I’m scared, Phantom. Terrified I won’t be able to care for my daughter. That I’ll fail those boys. But the worst fear of all is that I’ll agree to be yours and one day you’ll realize you could do better. You’ll wake up, wonder why you ever agreed to keep me and Nova, and you’ll regret being with us. Because you’re our hero, Phantom. I don’t think it would take much for us to fall in love with you. I’m not sure I could handle a broken heart, or watching my daughter be destroyed by a man she’d come to think of as her father.
I took the phone and set it down before pulling her into my arms. I ran my hand down her back as I held her close. How could anyone not love Charisma? I didn’t understand how she hadn’t been adopted, or how her foster families could have ever hurt her. Even if they hadn’t laid a hand on her, when she’d been raped by that little punk, they hadn’t stood by her side. They’d taken his. The emotional damage would have been just as bad, if not worse, than if they’d hit her. If there’d been physical abuse, it had gone undocumented. Then again, everyone thought Heather was a saint. I may have only met her earlier in the day, but some part of me felt as if I’d known her all my life.
I leaned back so she could see my lips when I spoke. “You can take all the time you need. Come home with me. You and Nova. You can stay in my house. Have your own room if that’s what you want. Get to know me. Give us a chance. But I already know I want you, Nova, and the boys to be mine.”
Charisma picked up the phone again. You’ll let us stay with you? Even if I’m not your wife?
She showed me the screen and I smiled. “Yes, you can come stay with me even if you don’t want to be my wife. No strings attached, Charisma. I won’t expect anything of you.”
She started typing again. Then we’ll go with you.
“Are you hungry? We could either order room service or go out for something. Whatever you and the kids want to do.”
Can we stay in? she asked.
“Of course. I’ll check for a menu, and we can place an order. I bought pajamas for all of us. We can let the kids bathe first and get comfortable while we wait.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected when I’d said those words. The kids had eaten in the other room, and Charisma had sat at the table with me. We hadn’t spoken, just ate our food and watched a movie on TV. When we finished, she got her new things and went into the bathroom. I heard the shower start a moment later.
I got up and checked on the kids. They’d all eaten and were sprawled across the beds watching a kid’s movie. None of them had changed yet. I folded my arms and leaned against the wall, watching them a moment. Little Nova noticed me first. She smiled and hurried over, giving me another hug. Girl already had my heart. So did the boys, whether they realized it or not.
“The three of you need to figure out who’s bathing first, but it’s time to wash the day’s dirt off and get dressed for bed. You don’t have to go to sleep right now.” I glanced at the bedside clock. “But you should at least get under the covers in the next hour. We’ll be checking out before breakfast so we can get home.”
