Forever Love at Wildflower Lock, page 14
‘Compromise is just a nice way of saying no one gets what they want,’ her mother scoffed. ‘And thank you for the pseudo-psychology analysis of my love life, but quite frankly, I’m not in the mind to take relationship advice from someone who can’t even see that their own situation is going to end in heartbreak.’
‘Sorry?’ Daisy tipped her head to the side, not sure she had heard her correctly. ‘What did you say?’
‘You heard me. I said that you and Theo are destined to be a disaster, and the fact you can’t see it makes it all the more painful to watch.’
57
It was Daisy’s turn to be dumbstruck. She glanced at the empty bottle of wine on the side table. She had known her mother to drink more than that over the course of an evening, but considering her mother hadn’t opened the bottle until she’d boarded the September Rose, she had got through it unusually quickly. As if knowing what her daughter was thinking, Pippa spoke again.
‘I’m sorry, Daisy, it’s nothing to do with the drink. I’ve thought it all along. You know I have.’
‘And you pick now to tell me?’ Daisy asked. ‘Now, when I’ve got engaged? After we’ve been together for over two years?’
‘Well, it’s not exactly the first time I’ve mentioned my concerns to you, is it?’
‘Yes, yes, it is!’ Daisy couldn’t believe she was having this conversation, and yet her mother simply sniffed dismissively.
‘I tried to tell you when you had everyone over for drinks and terrible mini quiches.’
‘My engagement party, you mean?’ Daisy said. She was growing more and more flabbergasted by the second. ‘What perfect timing that would have been!’ She drew in a long stream of air and tried to force her pulse to lower. ‘I’m sorry, Mum. I obviously upset you, but you can’t just start insulting my relationship with Theo because you’re angry. You have never mentioned it before. As far as I was aware, you loved Theo. At least that’s what you’ve always said.’
‘Yes, I think he’s a great guy,’ her mother said, continuing to lift her wine glass to her lips, despite it being empty. ‘But I don’t think he’s right for you. Not long term. I told you that when you went chasing after him down the Thames. I said it was too soon to be running after a man.’
‘I wasn’t running after him,’ Daisy protested. She was shaking her head, struggling to believe what she was hearing. ‘I was surprising him. It’s something you do when you love people. And that was two years ago. If you’d really been that concerned about him, then why didn’t you say anything before?’
‘Well, because I thought you’d grow out of it. You know, the way people do. I mean, really Daisy, he’s the first relationship you’ve had since you were a teen. You can’t possibly think you know enough about love and relationships to get married.’
‘You mean like you did when you married my dad?’ Her disbelief was turning into anger. It had been years since she had been this furious at her mother, but just like then, this felt fully deserved.
‘Yes,’ her mum said, now standing with her hands on her hips. ‘That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I know what a mistake I made, thinking I was in love with your father. Or rather, thinking that what I felt for your father was enough for us to make it through the tough times. But it wasn’t. It was puppy love. That euphoric feeling that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. I see the same thing with you and Theo. The pair of you are ignoring reality, tucked away here on the canal. Believe me, it’s like watching the past relive itself, and it’ll end in heartbreak for you, just like it did for me.’
Daisy was shaking her head, still struggling to comprehend what her mother was saying. It was the drink. It had to be. That was the reason she was saying all these things.
‘You were depressed, Mum. You told me that. Several times. You left me, went to a different country because you couldn’t deal with giving up on your dreams the way that having me had forced you to do. The reason your and Dad’s marriage broke up had nothing to do with a lack of love or not having foresight. It was because you bolted. The way you always do. The way you’re doing now. And I’m sorry, but I’m not you. I don’t plan on bolting from Theo.’
‘Really? Well then, you’re a fool.’
‘Sorry?’
‘Why did you come back here tonight, Daisy? Why didn’t you stay with Theo?’
‘Because I was worried about you.’
‘Is that right? Then what’s that on your finger? That’s not the ring Theo bought you.’
Daisy glanced down at her hand. She hadn’t mentioned the ring situation to her mother and hadn’t even been sure whether she was going to, but as she considered where to start and how much she wated Pippa to know her mother spoke again.
‘Nobody changes their engagement ring without something happening. Besides, I saw it on your face the moment you walked in here and demanded the ice cream. You and Theo had a fight, right? And I’m betting it’s not the first one you’ve had since you accepted his proposal. It’s your subconscious, Daisy. It’s telling you this isn’t right. Face it – if you marry him, you’re setting yourself up for failure, and you know it as well as I do.’
58
Daisy didn’t look back. She knew Johnny was there behind her as she marched down the towpath and towards the car park and she would take him with her wherever it was she was going. She just hadn’t decided where that was yet.
Her first urge had been to kick her mother out of the September Rose, but then what? Her mum had drunk an entire bottle of her wine and likely a fair bit more before she had left Nicholas’s. There was no way she was in a fit state to drive. And Daisy couldn’t go back to Theo’s. The fact that he had been right about her mother didn’t make Daisy feel any better. If anything, it made her feel madder for not having noticed before. Going from one argument to another was not what she wanted, and that was what she knew would happen if she returned to the Narrow Escape. What she wanted was a safe place, a person she could talk to without fear or judgement, and so, as she opened the back of the car and clipped Johnny in, she decided she was going to London.
Rush hour had been and gone and so Daisy drove into the city at a near record speed. Her one aim was to get away from Wildflower Lock, but it was only when she reached the multi-story car park opposite Bex’s apartment block she realised there was a problem.
‘Come on, and be good,’ Daisy said as she hurried Johnny along on his lead. ‘I don’t think she’s meant to have dogs here.’
Daisy pressed the buzzer to Bex’s apartment, using her body to block Johnny from the road, in case there were any nosy neighbours, ready to accost her for bringing an animal into the building. She should have rung, she realised. She should have at least checked that Bex was home. Perhaps after a weekend on the boat, she had decided she wanted to go out for a bit of culture or city life, or to spend some time with whichever boyfriend she was seeing at the moment. Daisy pressed again, while simultaneously reaching for her phone to make the call she should have made an hour before. She had just swiped the screen when there was a loud buzz and crackle through the intercom.
‘Hello?’ Bex’s voice rattled through the line.
‘Bex?’ Daisy couldn’t stop the trembling in her voice, and once it started, there was no stopping it. All the tears she had stored up from the disastrous weekend and now the fight with her mother were bubbling to the surface, and there was nothing she could do. By her feet, Johnny was whining, pushing his body against her legs as he tried to comfort her, but it was no good.
‘Daisy, is that you?’
‘Bex?’ Daisy’s voice stuttered as she fought the tears that were rising through her throat. ‘Can I come up?’
‘Of course you can. What is it? What’s wrong?’
The air caught in Daisy’s lungs, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe, and yet she choked out the one word that summed up how she felt.
‘Everything,’ she said. ‘Everything is wrong.’
59
Bex didn’t have any wine or beer in, but Daisy didn’t care. She didn’t feel like a drink, anyway. She didn’t feel like anything other than curling up and crying herself to sleep. It must have been obvious how terrible she looked because although she flinched a little, Bex didn’t say anything as Johnny jumped up on the sofa next to her and placed his head on Daisy’s lap. In fact, the only thing she’d said about Johnny so far was that she wasn’t meant to have dogs in the building, so he’d need to be quiet. Thankfully, she hadn’t told Daisy they needed to leave.
‘I can’t believe your mother said that,’ Bex said, letting out a sigh. ‘I love Pippa, you know I do, but she has some funny ideas about parenting. Claire and I have said it before. She’s always gone for the friend route, not the mother one. I mean, letting you drop out of art college after one term is a perfect example.’
‘I know,’ Daisy said, glancing at her phone, although the screen was black. She’d had three missed called so far from her mother and two from Theo, so she’d switched her phone off altogether. She would speak to them when she was ready and she wouldn’t be pestered into deciding when that was. ‘But the thing is, do you think she’s right?’
‘What?’ Bex’s face scrunched up so much, it became a mass of wrinkles. ‘About you and Theo being destined to fail? Absolutely not. It’s clear that you adore each other.’
‘But that’s not always enough, is it? I mean, you hear it all the time, that love isn’t enough, right? And this weekend has been a disaster from start to finish.’
‘That’s not true,’ Bex said. ‘The hotel was amazing. You had a great time there.’
Daisy let out a long sigh. ‘I know, but that seems kind of insignificant compared to the rest of it. Maybe it was a sign. It’s clear his parents don’t approve of the match either. You’d think at least one set of parents would think it was a good idea.’
‘Maybe, but it’s not your mum or Theo’s parents who are getting married, is it? It’s you guys. Look, you just need to put this behind you. Think of your engagement. It was perfect.’
‘A perfect five minutes when he proposed, you mean? It’s not real life. I don’t know…’
Daisy slowly stroked Johnny along his back before picking up her glass of water, although she didn’t bother taking a sip. Instead, she just stared at it for a moment before letting out a sigh.
‘I just keep thinking how she’s right. At least in one sense. What do I know of real relationships? Puppy love and Theo. That’s all I’ve had.’
‘And Christian?’ Bex offered, although Daisy scowled in response.
‘I can’t count that as a relationship. If I did, it’s definitely a very failed one. Maybe I need to know more about that kind of thing before I actually commit to spending the rest of my life with a person. Take a leaf out of your book.’
‘Out of my book?’ Bex said, her scoff turning into a laugh. ‘Now you can’t be serious.’
‘Why not?’ Daisy questioned. ‘You’ve dated plenty of guys. You know exactly what you’re looking for, and you refuse to settle.’
‘You can’t possibly think of Theo as settling?’ Bex said.
‘I fell for the guy with the boat next to mine. That’s not exactly spreading my wings and seeing what’s out there, is it?’ A heaviness had formed in her chest.
‘Why do you think you have to travel the world or kiss a hundred frogs to find your prince?’ Bex said, her expression still confused. ‘If I had a guy look at me the way Theo looks at you…’ She let the rest of her sentence drift off before she shook her head. ‘I don’t have high standards, Daisy. I have impossible standards.’
Daisy frowned. ‘That’s not true.’
‘Yes, yes, it is. And my parents are partly to blame, too.’
‘Your parents?’ Daisy said, not sure she was following. ‘Your parents are the most in-love couple I’ve ever known.’
‘Exactly, and every man I meet, I’m comparing to them and their relationship. I don’t go into it wondering if we might have adventures together or whether they might pull me out of my comfort zone. Instead, I nit-pick everything they do. If they eat too loudly, they’re out. If they laugh at things I find unfunny, they’re out. I’m too busy thinking about how annoying each foible is going to be after twenty or thirty years that I never get to the one-year mark. That’s not a way to go into a relationship.’
‘Maybe,’ Daisy replied, though it didn’t help her situation at all. Sure, she and Theo both had foibles, and mostly she found them endearing. But was that just naivety? After all, what was the possibility that her soulmate would have the mooring next to hers? If soulmates even existed. He had been there, convenient, and of course she loved him. But then, she reasoned, surely if you spent time with anyone who was as kind and fun as Theo, most people would fall in love with them in some sense or another. Was that really a reason to get married?
‘Do you want me to make up the sofa bed, or would you rather crash in my bed with me?’ Bex said, pulling Daisy from her thoughts.
‘I’ll stay here,’ Daisy said. ‘I’m not sure what time I’ll get up in the morning.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t rush. According to the forecast, it’s going to be heavy showers all day tomorrow.’
Rain. Daisy let out a sad chuckle. It was coming to something that rain felt like a good thing in her life.
60
Bex had been right about the rain and while that would have normally allowed Daisy the luxury of a lie-in, the fact she had Johnny with her derailed that plan.
Thinking about it objectively, bringing Johnny hadn’t been her wisest decision. Not only was he not allowed in the building, but he was used to being let out first thing in the morning when Daisy moved from Theo’s and headed over to the September Rose to start baking for the day. As such, he wasn’t content just to lie around. An added complication to his early-morning walk was that he would normally have his first feed of the day then too, and Daisy hadn’t brought any dog food with her.
‘Come on then, and be quiet,’ Daisy said as she slipped on her shoes and tied Johnny’s lead to his collar, ready to take him outside. ‘Just no barking, all right? I don’t want Bex to get in trouble for me bringing you here.’
Bex’s apartment was on the seventh floor, and normally Daisy used the lift, but the night before, with Johnny in tow, she had taken the stairs. She was aware there were probably cameras in the stairwell too, but it seemed like the right thing to do, and that morning, she felt the same. Getting in the lift with a dog in an apartment block where they were banned didn’t feel right. So Daisy pushed open the heavy door into the stairwell and led Johnny down.
The cool air brushed her arms as she made her way down to the sixth floor. It hadn’t seemed that far the night before, probably because she was too busy sobbing while Bex comforted her. But when she was three flights down, it already felt like she had been going forever. The last thing she wanted was for Johnny to decide he couldn’t make it all the way outside and relieve himself on the steps, so she picked up her pace. She had just reached the second floor and was about to start her last flight of stairs when the door swung open.
‘Hey!’ Daisy said, jumping out of the way, although she wasn’t fast enough. While avoiding being hit full on, the edge of the door caught the top of her arm, scraping it. Yelping, she jumped out of the way. ‘Watch what you’re doing!’ she said.
The open door revealed a man with sandy-coloured hair wearing sports clothing, staring straight at her.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘There’s not normally anyone in here at this time.’
‘Well, there is now,’ Daisy said, rubbing the patch of her arm where the door had scraped the skin. Removing her hand revealed an impressive graze – the type she hadn’t had since falling off her bike when she was younger.
‘I’m so sorry,’ the man said, still blocking the doorway and corridor behind him. ‘I’ve got some antiseptic wipes in my apartment if you—’ He stopped, his gaze moving from Daisy to Johnny, who had shifted behind her legs, although not well enough to remain hidden. Heat flooded through her. The man was bound to ask where she was going, and Daisy was going to have to tell the truth – that she was just visiting a friend. But she would have to lie about which flat that friend lived in. There was no way Daisy wanted to get Bex in trouble for this.
Though rather than calling her out for breaking the rules, the man laughed heartily. It was a great laugh that lit up his face and made him look substantially younger, though Daisy was still struggling to understand why he was responding in such a manner when he stepped to the side. There behind him was a fluffy Labrador retriever.
‘I guess we’re both up early for the same reason,’ he chuckled.
61
Daisy and the man took the last flight of stairs together, with the dogs walking alongside, matching their strides perfectly.
‘So you actually live here, with a dog?’ Daisy said, struggling to believe that he could keep the large Labrador a secret.
‘I know. I’m a rebel, right?’ the guy said with a wink and a smile that Daisy couldn’t help but reciprocate.
‘And no one knows?’
‘Well, the good thing about a larger dog is that they don’t yap away like smaller ones do.’
‘Still?’
The man cocked his head and offered Daisy another of his flirtatious smiles. ‘A lot of people know, and there was a bit of backlash at the beginning, but as soon as I told them Bruno’s story, they understood, didn’t they, buster?’
The dog cocked his head towards the pair of them. He had obviously heard his name, but there was something about the way he looked at his owner that made Daisy feel like he knew exactly what they were talking about.
