Brad, page 28
“I told you I know the story, Brad.”
“Yes, I know you do. Do you remember how it ended?”
The tears had dried on her face. “I can barely wait for you to enlighten me.”
“Jonah was angry. He didn’t think they deserved God’s mercy. He didn’t think they would accept His grace. But they did, and Jonah sat and pouted over the fact that he couldn’t watch a city of 120,000 men, women, and children be destroyed. God made it clear to Jonah that he did not have the right to be angry over God’s decisions.”
After several moments, she said, “Are you saying to me that I don’t have the right to be angry?”
“I’m saying that you had a right to be angry, hurt, scared. But now that he has repented and become a follower of Christ, you don’t have the right to be angry at God for offering him the same grace you received, because you didn’t deserve it any more than he did, any more than I did.”
A muscle ticked in her jaw and she glared at him. Finally, she said, “I’d like you to leave now.”
“I know.” He stood and looked down at her. “But hear this. I love you. I have always loved you. I am only speaking to you in love and compassion, and I pray that my words have done nothing to cause you any more pain.”
He left, wishing she hadn’t asked him to, thankful it took her so long to ask so he could say everything that had been placed on his heart. Now he could just pray for her. Pray for her heart. Pray for her soul. And pray for the two of them.
Valerie walked into the room in the church where the support group met and found Madison alone. She had asked to meet Madison thirty minutes before the support group meeting, hoping no one else would arrive that early.
Madison approached her as she entered the room. “I’m so happy you reached out to me,” she said, gesturing toward two chairs that sat facing each other.
Valerie sat down and crossed her arms over her chest. She desperately wanted to have someone on her side right now. After Brad’s… what did she call it? Betrayal? That’s what it felt like. After Brad’s betrayal last night, she could hardly think or focus. She’d called in sick and spent the morning reading her Bible, finding the places Brad specifically brought up, seeking something other than the black and white words.
They sat and without preamble, Valerie told Madison about the letter from Tyrone and about her conversation with Brad. Madison’s smile slowly faded, and she leaned forward, her hands out, palms up. Valerie uncrossed her arms and lay her hands in Madison’s.
When she finished speaking, the silence stretched for perhaps the space of three calming breaths. Then her new friend spoke. “Valerie, do you know anything more about my story than what I shared your first night here?”
“Nothing specific, really. All I know is what you’ve shared here.”
“I didn’t think so.” Madison closed her eyes and Valerie saw them flutter behind her shut eyelids, as if searching for exactly the right words. Finally, she opened her eyes again, took a deep breath, and quietly said, “I know it’s hard for you to grasp the idea of forgiveness, but please believe me when I tell you that I understand exactly where you are right now and I also know where you can be.”
Valerie frowned. “I don’t know what that means.”
Madison squeezed her hands, as if conveying unspoken support. “I was nineteen, my boyfriend was a really bad guy. He raped me when we first started dating. It was a violent rape. Not only did he choke me nearly to death, but he also broke my jaw by punching me with his closed fist.” Madison ran a slow finger along the length of her left jawline, as if the faint scars there were still fresh.
“I told myself it was because he was drunk, and it wasn’t anything else. So, when he said we had to move in together, I didn’t argue. After I moved in with him, I thought he would change. He did, in a way. He drank a lot more. He smoked pot a lot more. He also ridiculed me, humiliated me, used words to break me down, and occasionally he would manhandle me and toss me around. Nothing too bad, just really rough, you know?” Madison stopped talking and searched Valerie’s face, as if checking to ensure she could continue.
With a nod, she said, “About a year later, feeling spunky and brave, I told him off and he closed-fist punched me again. That’s when I left.”
Valerie felt her throat start to close and remembered the feel of a fist hitting her cheek, of the pain so intense that at first nothing else existed.
“This was about two months after I’d found out I was pregnant. It was about two months after the day he drove me to an abortion clinic and told me he couldn’t be with me if I had the baby. So, I didn’t argue. I went inside and I murdered my unborn child.”
Valerie nodded. “That’s what you said before,” she whispered.
“What I didn’t say was that I got a knock on my door years later, about six months after I graduated college, in fact. I opened my door and thought my world was going to fall out from under me when I saw him standing there on my stoop wearing a suit and tie with a very sincere and repentant look on his face.”
The gasp escaped Valerie’s mouth as if she had opened the door and Tyrone stood there. “What did he want?”
Madison smiled. “He wanted to beg my forgiveness. He wanted to tell me about how he’d found Jesus. He wanted me to know that he was going to seminary. He told me the memory of how he had treated me back then—and his part in killing our unborn child—how that all haunted him night and day. He was there to grovel.”
“What did you do?”
Madison checked her watch, clearly calculating how much time she had before other parishioners arrived to join the group. “Well, Valerie, to make a long story short, eventually, I married him.”
Valerie immediately pulled her hands away and pushed her chair back. She stood and stepped backward, crossing her arms over her chest in defense. “No.”
“It is an unusual case. The truth is I wouldn’t encourage anyone to do what I did. All I know is that when I talked to him, when he talked to me, everything about him was different. The verse in Corinthians about how we are new creatures in Christ really came home to me. He apologized, I let him talk, and then I told him never to call me again. But his words stuck with me, and I couldn’t get them out of my head. Eventually, I contacted him to talk some more. We talked and talked and, a year later, we had our first date.”
Valerie shook her head. “How could you just let it go so easily. What he did to you, your heart, your baby—”
“Were part of that old man who had died to sin and was reborn. Don’t misunderstand me, Valerie. I’m not saying that you should run off to Savannah and start a relationship with Tyrone. What I’m saying is that I know exactly how you feel right now. Exactly. And I also know exactly how betrayed you felt by Brad, and even by me right now. What happened to you matters. What he did to you matters. Forgiving him, letting it go, it isn’t going to take anything away from that. But it also isn’t going to condone what he did.”
Her mind swirled with thoughts and words that she couldn’t even give the substance. “I have to go.”
“Please come back when you feel like you can talk to me again,” Madison said. “I would hate to think that the choices I made would remove you from a group you need so much.”
Valerie slipped her purse over her shoulder and rushed out of the classroom.
The drive to the Dixon home took no time. She didn’t even have to leave the suburb. But even as she made her way up the walk, she didn’t know exactly why she’d come here. She rang the doorbell and waited several moments, but no one answered.
Wondering if her old code worked, she typed in the four digits of the day and month of her birthday on the keypad. It almost surprised her when the gate swung soundlessly open. She entered Auntie Rose’s haven, following the stone path that wound through the garden. She ran her fingertips over flowers, felt leaves of bushes, breathed in the pungent smell of freshly watered earth and fertilizer. When she came up to the side of the greenhouse, she saw Rosaline’s shadow through the sheer walls.
“Hi, Auntie,” she called.
“Valerie!” The shadow turned in her direction. “Come on in, child.”
She found her by the orchids. A straw hat hung from a ribbon tied around her neck, and mud splashed her gardening apron. Rarely did she see a hair out of place on Rosaline’s head, but today sweat matted the graying hair at her temples, and wisps stuck up everywhere. “I have been out here for hours today,” she said, setting down her clippers. “I thought I’d repot one plant and ended up repotting a dozen.” She slipped her gloves off and grinned. “So? How are you?”
“I didn’t mean to bother you,” Valerie said. “I just didn’t know who else to talk to about this.”
The smile faded from Rosaline’s face and a take-charge look replaced it. “Come on, Valerie. Let’s get inside. I have some freshly made iced tea. We can have some of that and sit a spell.”
Valerie sat in a little metal chair near the glass doors leading to Rosaline’s sitting room. Rosaline poured both of them tall glasses of sweetened iced tea and settled back in her chair. She took a long drink from the glass, set it on the little side table, then slapped her knee. “I feel like I should have an alarm set whenever I enter the greenhouse. It’s like time stops for me in there. Half the day is gone.” She stared at Valerie, her gaze direct and unmoving. “Talk to me.”
Valerie told her about the letter, her conversation with Brad, and her conversation with Madison. She concluded with, “I can’t believe she married him.”
Rosaline nodded. “I imagine you cannot. It’s hard for someone without your past to believe it. It helps us who know them now not to have known them in the past. That’s the thing, isn’t it? If you grow up with someone who acts a certain way, you don’t really trust the changes in them if something radical happens in their lives. You have a hard time letting go of what used to be. Meet someone later, and you can hear a testimony and be impressed with the changes.”
Valerie took a deep breath. “What I hear from them is that I have to forgive Tyrone.”
Rosaline pressed her lips together and stared at Valerie. Finally, she said, “They aren’t saying that. They’re saying what they know the Bible says. But I know that neither of them will judge you if forgiving him is not something you can do right now. You have to process it. You have to work it out in your heart, with God, and in your own time. So, for them to lovingly tell you the truth is not going against you in any way. It’s loving you the way they ought. If either one of them had reacted with righteous indignation on your behalf and encouraged you to continue to harbor hate and fury in your heart, then they would have been doing you a disservice.” She leaned forward and took Valerie’s hand. “Listen to me, daughter of my heart. You do this on your time. You don’t owe anyone any explanations for that.”
Strangely, she felt no tears in her eyes. She felt calm, sure. “Yes, ma’am,” she whispered.
Brad sat on the step outside the apartment office. They’d cut the power to run some wire, hit a snag, and now on a late June evening in Atlanta, Georgia, the 85-degree evening with a slight breeze provided a welcome relief to the suffocating heat inside. As soon as he had the energy, he’d head to his parents’ house and spend the night.
He watched Valerie’s car pull into the parking lot. Briefly, he thought about how sweaty and dusty his clothes were and how he wished he’d grabbed a shower before coming outside. He didn’t even have time to run in and change his shirt.
As she walked toward him, he started to stand, but she waved him down. “Sit. I can see how exhausted you are. What have you guys been doing?”
“Digging.” He scooted over and she sat next to him on the step. “Then digging some more. Oh, and crawling around in the ditch we dug. That was fun.”
“How do you do this after working all day?”
He drained the water bottle he held in his hands and crushed it before putting the lid back on. “It’s how I work in the office all day, knowing I can get off work and come do this work. Gets me through the day.”
She leaned her shoulder against him and lightly bumped him. “I guess some men go work out in the gym, and others….”
“…dig ditches and crawl in the dirt.”
He watched a line of ants that led to a dead grasshopper. They sat in silence for several minutes before she asked, “Are you upset with me?”
Surprised, he turned to look at her. The solemn look on her face, the pinched lines around her mouth, everything pointed to the seriousness of her question. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“Because I asked you to leave.”
He turned his body, shifting so he could face her completely. She did the same thing. Reaching for her hands, he said, “I cannot put myself in your shoes. I cannot understand the things that still affect you. All I can do is love you through the hard times that rear up as a result.”
She cleared her throat and stared at their hands. “But you were trying to help me, and I was just getting more and more upset.”
“It was upsetting for you. You thought I’d jump to your defense. Instead, I told you the truth as I know it. I get how that’s going to feel like I betrayed you, even if I didn’t.”
“Do you feel like I disrespected you?”
Did he? Good question. “I didn’t leave your home that night feeling disrespected.” He raised a hand and cupped her cheek. She looked up at him, her eyes shining in the evening light. “Listen to me. I understand what happened yesterday. I’m good. As far as I am concerned, we’re good.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. When she opened them again, her face had grown softer, her eyes lighter. “I don’t know how you can love someone as broken as me.”
His heart tugged in his chest. He thought it might just fly out. “I don’t think God gave me much of a choice. It’s only ever been you. It will always only be you.”
Valerie shifted her body closer to his and leaned forward. Their lips met in a gentle, soft kiss that had the blood rushing in his ears and his pulse pounding. When they pulled away just enough to break contact, she opened her eyes and met his. “I think it’s always been you for me, too. I just didn’t remember it until you reminded me.”
With a soft laugh, he said, “Until I reminded you, huh?”
Smiling in return, she nodded. “Yeah. Reminded me how much I love you and how incomplete my life has been without you.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her shampoo, then pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “Glad you finally see things my way,” he said, joy flooding every pore.
“Hey, Brad?”
She said his name softly, almost on a sigh. “Yes?”
Putting both hands on his stomach, she pushed and broke contact, laughing up at him. “Why don’t you go shower? I’ll wait right here for you.”
A bark of laughter escaped him. He leaned forward and kissed her on the tip of her nose before bounding to his feet, all physical exhaustion gone and replaced with an energy that came from deep inside. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be back.”
The October sun shone down onto the garden of snapdragons, bringing out the vibrant hues of color as guests sat in rows of white chairs just on the other side of the small stream. Brad stood next to Valerie inside the gazebo, clutching her hands with both his as his brothers stood behind him, dressed in gray tuxedos. Behind Valerie, Calla Jones and Sami Jones wore burgundy colored gowns with spaghetti straps and long skirts. They carried white and orange orchids lovingly grown by Rosaline.
Valerie had chosen a simple sleeveless gown, with a heart-shaped bodice and a long, straight skirt. Around her neck, she wore her mother’s pearls that Buddy had saved for this day. She’d had her hair straightened, pulled to the side, and curled in large ringlets with a white orchid nestled in the curls.
Brad could barely breathe as he watched Buddy walk Valerie down the path and over the bridge to the gazebo. Her beauty had stolen his breath. For a moment, he worried he’d do something embarrassing, like pass out. Then, once she handed Calla her flowers and placed her hands in his, his world righted and everything snapped back into order.
Danny Brown spoke, talking about love, God, marriage, and faith. Brad let the words flow around him, hardly believing this day had finally come. He’d dreamed about it for so long. Fifteen years ago he’d written his heart’s desire for this day and the lifetime that would follow on a single sheet of notebook paper and sealed it in a metal tin.
God had known all along they would end up in this place, but Brad could hardly believe it had actually happened. As they repeated their vows, he watched the emotions and expressions cross her face, knowing she loved him, knowing she longed to claim the title of his wife.
At Danny’s command, he bent his head and gently kissed her lips. Their first kiss as husband and wife—the beginning of a lifetime together. She leaned into him and he cupped her cheek with his hand, wanting her to feel the intensity of his emotions, wanting that kiss to convey all the love he could never properly put into words.
As he lifted his head, he could hear the clapping from their friends and family as they celebrated this first kiss along with them. He smiled and winked down at her, then they turned to face the crowd. Calla handed Valerie her bouquet of orchids, and they walked hand-in-hand, over the bridge, and down the path to the castle.
The End
I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to bring you this novel. When I originally came up with the idea, I managed an office for a very successful general contractor in Florida, so this was my world at the time, and because of that, the Dixons hold a special place in my heart.
The series begins with the novella Ian, which fills in the backstory of chef Calla and engineer Ian, even though there is little interaction with the Dixons, their story introduces readers to this series and all the secondary characters who bring this world such color and life. I know you will fall in love with the series. The link to sign up for my newsletter is in the back of this book—make sure you sign up if you want to receive notifications with each release!
