One Poor Choice (The Citadel Series Book 2), page 23
Bernie’s brow crumpled. “Sidewalk sale? People buy sidewalks?”
“No!” Jared started to laugh. “No, you put racks on the sidewalk and sell merchandise from them. Kind of like a yard sale.” He watched her crinkle up the left side of her face. “Haven’t you ever seen those signs that say ‘yard sale?’ People do garage sales too.”
“Oh! You mean a vide grenier?” When both men stared at her, she added, “Empty the attic. We had large sales on the town square and everyone brought things they didn’t want and sold them.” She shrugged. “Is that a sidewalk sale?”
Jared rested his hand lightly against her back at the top of her chair back. “Yes, sweetie. That’s pretty much it.”
“It would be easy to do. But we can talk about that later. Oh, and if you have any questions at all, Molly can help you. It was her boutique for years. She knows everything about it.”
“She didn’t want it anymore?” Bernie was shocked.
Freddie’s face was sad. “No, well, yeah but, oh, it’s kinda complicated. Anyway, she works for Vic now, so she doesn’t want it, but I bet she’d help you if you need it.”
“That would be great. I’m so excited!” Bernie was almost bouncing in her chair right there in the pub.
Jared couldn’t help himself – he’d heard the rumors and he just had to know. “So, Fred, are you seeing anyone?”
Freddie managed a weak smile. “Yeah, matter of fact, I am. Her name is Debbie. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now.”
Jared just had to know. “So, what’s she like?”
Freddie dropped his face, glared up from under his brows, and gave Jared a go-to-hell look. “I know what you’re digging for. Her youngest child is thirty-three.” With a smirk, he added, “She’s actually two years older than me.”
“Well, congratulations!” Jared started to laugh. “Tony know about this?”
“Not yet, but I’m guessing he will now?”
“Unless there’s a reason why I shouldn’t tell him.” Jared was still laughing.
Freddie shrugged. “No. Go ahead. I’m taking her over there next Sunday to meet all of them anyway.”
“Well, then, I’ll let you do the honors and I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Thanks.” Freddie gazed at Bernie. “So is this something you want to do?”
“Very much! When can I start?”
Freddie grinned. “Whenever you want. I can get you a key by tomorrow. Want to meet me over there at lunch tomorrow? I can give you some ideas of how to start. With some luck, you can probably have it open in a couple of weeks.”
“Oh! Well, so it will be a while before I get paid.”
Freddie shook his head. “You’ll get paid every Friday starting next Friday. I’ll pay a week behind so my bookkeeper has time to get your check together. So your first check will probably be for about nine days? I’m thinking closed on Mondays and open on Saturdays. Will that be okay?”
Bernie looked to Jared, and when he smiled at her, she nodded. “Yes! I would love it!”
“Good. Let’s have a drink and toast.” When they got the server to bring both guys a beer and Bernie a glass of wine, Freddie raised his mug. “Here’s to our partnership. May it be wildly successful.”
“To your partnership,” Jared echoed.
“To our partnership.” Bernie clanked her glass against Freddie and Jared’s mugs, and relief flooded over her.
Maybe her new life could finally begin.
Chapter Thirteen
“So how was it?” Jared had called Bernie and asked if he could pick her up after work and take her to dinner. He’d been a little nervous, but he was thrilled when she seemed excited about the prospect, so he swung by the boutique and took her to Frank’s Feed Store for barbecue. She thought the checked tablecloths and baked beans were strange, but she had to admit they were good, and Jared watched as she seemed to truly enjoy herself. He ordered her a caramel sundae in a big beer mug and smiled as she devoured the whole thing.
“It’s so good! This is really nice.” Bernie licked her spoon and grinned.
“Here. You’ve got whipped cream on . . .” Jared reached across the table with his napkin.
“Oh, thanks! I’m so messy.” She took another spoonful and smiled at him.
“No. You’re not messy. I’m glad you like this place. It’s super casual, but I like the food.”
“So what are you doing tonight?” Bernie asked, still dipping into the sundae.
“I’ve got laundry to do and dishes. And I’m putting together my new bed.”
“New bed? You got a new bed? Really?”
Jared nodded. “Yeah! It’s really nice. All new bedroom furniture. And a cool bench to put at the foot of the bed, you know, for putting on shoes and things like that. Oh, and I put a closet system in, so there’s plenty of room for everything in the closet. Actually, about half of the closet is empty.”
“How nice! Sounds like you’ve been working hard.”
Jared nodded. “I have. I’m hoping in a couple of years to have enough saved up for a down payment on a house.” He took a sip of his tea. “Nothing big and fancy, just a nice little two or three bedroom house.”
Bernie smiled. “That would be lovely. How exciting for you.”
“Yeah.” There were so many things Jared wanted to say, but he didn’t feel he could. Instead, he asked, “Comfortable out at the farm?”
Bernie kept trying to think of a way to come out and say what she was feeling, but she was too afraid, so she just replied, “Yes, comfortable enough. It’s just one room, but I don’t have many things.”
At that moment, Jared struck on an idea. “On the way back, wanna see my furniture?”
Bernie’s heart started to thump wildly. “Oh, yes! I’d love to! That would be great.”
“Okay then. Let’s go and we’ll stop by the apartment.”
Unbeknownst to the other, when the apartment door swung open, each of them felt the memories of their time together wash over them. Bernie worked to keep from bursting out in tears; Jared tried hard to calm the sick feeling in his stomach. He flipped the light switch inside the bedroom doorway and Bernie gasped. “Oh, this is beautiful! So very, very nice. You have a good eye, Jared. This will be wonderful when you get the bed put together.”
“Thanks. I really liked it in the store. I didn’t know what it would look like in here, but I think it really suits me.” He stroked a palm across the surface of the dresser and enjoyed the feel of the satiny wood.
“So you got a long chest . . .”
“Dresser.”
Bernie nodded and smiled. “Dresser. And a tall chest.” She took a good look and blinked. “And two side tables.”
“We call them night stands.”
“Night stands.” Bernie opened the drawer on the night stand against the left side of the bed. “There’s nothing in here.” Her sad eyes found Jared’s face. “Why did you buy two night stands? You only need one.” It was hard work to keep the tears from rolling down her face, but she bit her lip and managed.
Should I just come right out and say it?, Jared wondered. Instead, he said, “Because they match.” Before he could stop himself, he added, “I’m hoping to have someone to use that one.”
“Jared, I . . .” Bernie started.
“No.” Bernie’s heart dropped to hear him say that word, until he added, “I’m not going to push you. I’m patient. I’ll wait. However long it takes, I’ll wait, Bernie. Understand?”
She couldn’t hold them back anymore. Hot tears drifted down both cheeks as she said, “I’m so tired of being apart from you. When do you think it might be over? I know you probably don’t want to have me, you know, because of how dirty I am now, but we could just snuggle. I miss your arms.” By the time she’d finished, Bernie was almost unable to talk. Her voice was failing and she struggled not to sob out loud.
Jared’s heart broke. She really thought he felt that way about her? That just killed him. “Come with me.” When he reached out for her hand, she took his and let him lead her back to the living room. He sat down on the sofa, but when she tried to sit beside him, he pulled her over to sit in his lap. “Let’s get something straight right now.”
Is he mad?, Bernie wondered. That scared her a bit, and she dropped her face toward the floor and waited.
“I never did, do not, and will never think you’re dirty.” He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. “I love you, babe. I never stopped. All of that, the anger, the hurt? It’s all gone. All I want is for you to have a happy life.” He took a deep breath and decided to plunge in. “And I’d like to think that maybe it would include me. But that’s your call. When you’ve decided, I’ll be right here, waiting.”
Bernie took a big gulping breath of courage and managed to squeak out, “I’ve already decided. I want to be with you.” She was relieved to see the huge grin that broke across Jared’s face. “I don’t have many things. When could I be here?”
Jared could feel the misery melting away and turning to vapor. It was over – really, really over. Sure, he’d need to take it slow with her, but she wanted to be with him. That was all that mattered. “I’ll run you by to get your truck and then follow you to the farm if you want to move tonight. Do you have some boxes?”
“Why would I need boxes?”
“For your things.”
Bernie gave him a sad smile. “The things I have will fit in my laundry baskets. It will only take minutes to have everything in them.” He couldn’t wait: Jared planted a huge kiss right on Bernie’s lips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. “I have missed those kisses, Jared Lee Calhoun.”
“I missed yours too, Bernadette Simone Guillory.” When she dropped her forehead to Jared’s, he sighed. “Baby, I love you. And I promise, we’ll take it slow. I won’t push you and I won’t hurt you. I don’t want to scare you. I just want to be with you, however I can. No expectations, okay? We can do this, I know we can.”
Bernie’s heart beat stronger and her eyes grew brighter. “Good. I’m coming home.”
“Calhoun!”
“Coming!” Jared dropped the things in his hands on the desk and stepped into Steve’s office. “What’s up?”
“Close the door and have a seat.” Once Jared had done both, Steve sat back and smiled at him. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah. I have an anxiety attack about once every two weeks now, and usually it’s because I haven’t talked to her in a few hours and I get kinda panicky, but that’s it. And at the rate I’m going, they’ll probably eventually just stop. Even when I do have one, it’s not very severe. Anyone who didn’t know I have them would never be able to tell.”
“That’s great.” Steve wondered if he should ask, but then just decided to get it over with. “How are you guys doing?”
“We’re good, very good.”
“Get everything squared away and back to normal?”
Jared gave him a gentle smile. “Almost. I’m planning a romantic evening for us tomorrow night, and I’m hoping it ends well.”
Steve looked at the young man sitting in front of him. Jared had been through so much, and Steve had watched with wonder as Jared grew and matured right before his eyes. The whole ordeal had changed him, made him stronger and better, and it occurred to Steve that perhaps he should say so. “You know, you’re a different person now. You’re stronger, more capable, more compassionate. I mean, you’ve always been a good guy, but now you’re just, I don’t know, so much more comfortable in your own skin, maybe?”
“Funny you should say that. Yeah, I am more comfortable in who I am. I want to be a better person, and I want to be there for her. I let her down once; I don’t want to do that again. And she’s stronger too. She learned some valuable lessons that she’ll take with her forever. Yeah, she has scars, but you know what they say about bones. Where the bone breaks, once it heals, it’s stronger than the rest of the bone. I think Bernie’s become a stronger person because of all that.”
“Is she liking the job?”
“No. She’s loving the job. She’s so happy all the time and she really feels lucky to have found that job. I’m just glad Peyton thought of that. We’re having the whole Flores-Stokes clan over Saturday for dinner.”
Steve smiled. “Jared, I know everybody thought you were a fuckup when you first started here, but I could see the potential in you. I knew you just needed a year or two to come into your own, and it looks like you have. The security firm has grown under you, and we’ve gotten some great publicity because of the bust out in Anchorage. I’d like to give you a bonus.”
“Oh, no, you don’t have to . . .”
Steve shook his head. “No. I want to.” He grabbed a piece of paper, scribbled something on it, and scooted it across the table to Jared. “Would this be okay?”
Jared picked up the paper and looked at it. “Oh, Steve, no. No, you can’t do this. Fifty thousand? No, I mean, I haven’t earned . . .”
“Take it. Take it and do something great with it. I’m sure you can think of something. New car? Vacation?” Even though Steve was asking, he was chuckling to himself. He knew exactly what Jared wanted to do with it.
He waited and, sure enough, he heard Jared whisper to himself, “Our house.”
“Want to buy a house?” When Jared nodded, Steve told him, “I’ll be doing the entire closing for you for free. Everything. So you won’t be out that. Sound good?”
Jared’s eyes went misty. “Sounds great. Steve, I just don’t know what to say.”
“Thank you is all that’s necessary.”
“Thank you. Thank you for everything, and for always believing in me and being there for me.”
“You’re welcome.” To Steve’s surprise, when he stood, Jared rounded the desk and grabbed him in a bear hug. He cleared his throat loudly and barked out, “Damn, Calhoun, I think you’ve been spending too much time around those Walters men.”
Jared stepped back, patted Steve’s cheeks just as he’d seen Tony do so many times, and laughed out, “You don’t have to say it. And I love you too, Steve.”
“Damn emotional Italians. Get back to work, Calhoun. And I expect to be invited to the housewarming party.” Steve sniffed hard and cleared his throat again.
“Absolutely. You, Kelly, and Clara. And now I get to tell Bernie.”
When the door closed behind them, Jared grabbed Bernie around the waist. “So how was dinner?”
“Divine. And the company was even better.” Bernie kissed him lightly on the lips. “You taste like crème brûlée.”
“And you taste like heaven. Come sit down. There’s something I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want you screaming all over the restaurant.”
“Okay.” Plopping down on the sofa beside him, she threw her legs across his lap. “And I have something to tell you too.”
Jared was curious, but not enough to stop what he was about to do. “So, Steve is giving me a bonus.”
“Oh, that’s nice! What are you going to do with it?”
“I’m going to buy a house.”
Bernie’s mouth dropped open. “How much is it?”
Jared grinned. “Fifty thousand.”
Bernie shrieked out, “Fifty thousand dollars? Oh my god! What kind of house can you buy for fifty thousand dollars?”
“Well, I can’t really buy one for fifty thousand, but I can make a healthy down payment on one. But I don’t want to use the whole thing for the house. I want to start a fund.”
“For what?”
Jared’s smile was sweet and warm. “I want to start an adoption fund.” When Bernie’s brow crinkled in curiosity, Jared added, “You know. For a baby.”
Bernie’s eyes flew open. “A baby?”
“Oh, there’s something I forgot.” Jared reached into his pants pocket with a trembling hand and brought out a small, square box. “And I’d love to share that experience with you. Please marry me, Bernadette Simone Guillory. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and give you a good life, I promise. Say yes, please?”
The sharp pain in Bernie’s chest was her heart exploding with happiness, she was sure. “Yes! Oh, god, yes, Jared. I want to marry you!” She leaned down into his face and kissed him, and she was sure no kiss had ever been as sweet.
“Wait!” Jared pulled away. “You said you had something to tell me?”
“Yes.” Bernie straightened and clasped her hands in her lap. “I talked to my therapist today. I want to try being, um, you know, with you. I don’t know if I can do it or not, but I want to try.”
“You’ll tell me if you’re scared or it hurts, right?”
Bernie nodded. “Yes. I will, I promise. But I want to, Jared. I’ve missed that with you. You’re the only man I’ve ever been with who really loves me, and I want that again. So tonight we try, oui?”
“Yes, ma’am. We most certainly will.” Then he added, “And next weekend I’m taking you to meet my mother and stepdad. Will you go?”
“Of course! I’d love to meet them. I want to tell your mother what a wonderful man she raised. She must be the best mother in the whole world.”
“Oh, well, then, she’ll love you!” He gave her a peck on the lips. “Let’s go get ready for bed.” He stood, took Bernie’s hand, and led her down the hallway. When they got to the bedroom, he told her, “I’ve got to brush my teeth and then the bathroom’s yours.” He disappeared into the bathroom and was back in just a few minutes. “Your turn.”
When Bernie exited the bathroom, she got the shock of her life. A dozen candles burned around the room, and there were rose petals everywhere, their sweet scent filling the air. Soft music played – jazz – and the bed was turned back and ready, the candles’ glow glinting off the fresh, satiny cotton sheets. Jared was waiting for her, and he smiled and patted the bed. She slid into the softness of the bed and straight into the strength of his arms. In the last two weeks, she’d grown comfortable in those arms again, but the hunger she felt rolling off him was new, at least since everything had gone down. She met his kisses with her own, and Jared was thrilled. But his heart took flight when she whispered, “Jared, I love you and I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me. Make love to me, please? I need you.”
