The Enemy of Time, page 17
“Yeah,” Lucas chimed in. “I remember you and Jamie getting the same thing every time. He got the Oreo McFlurry, and you got the M&M. Then, halfway through, you guys switched, which was disgusting.
Kayla grimaced. “Gross.”
“We were eight,” I defended.
Julian chuckled. “I'm pretty sure you two continued that little arrangement throughout senior year.”
I let out a long, dramatic sigh. “Fine, I'll go along with this driving lesson if we stop talking about Jamie and me swapping spit, okay? I pushed my plate away and crossed my arms in defeat. “But I'm not responsible for anything that happens in that car.”
It wasn't so bad.
The car rolled slowly into the empty school parking lot. My palms clung to the steering wheel like it was a lifeline, but my pulse had slowed down from “impending doom” to “mild anxiety.”
“See? You've got this. There's nothing to be scared of,” Julian said from the passenger seat, his voice annoyingly calm, like always. I did appreciate him not mentioning the mailbox I almost demolished on the way out of our driveway.
Of course, Lucas wasn't going to let me off that easily. He watched me like a hawk from the back seat, his judgmental eyes glaring at me in the rearview mirror, his grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, waiting for my next disaster.
Kayla leaned lightly forward to speak. “You're doing pretty good, Alex. I mean, you're driving like a grandmother on sedatives, but technically, this is driving.”
I shot her a look. “Hey, I'm respecting the speed limit, thank you.”
I tried to ignore everyone around me and focused on the lot. Thankfully, the school was empty, with just a few stray cars near the gym. I was driving in a giant circle around the large parking lot with virtually zero chances of danger. I could do this—slow and steady, with no sudden movements. No crashes. No casualties.
Maybe this was all right.
Maybe I overreacted all those years ago.
“Perfect, Alex,” Julian encouraged. “Keep it smooth, easy turns.”
I nodded, easing the car around the curve of the lot. The wheel moved smoothly under my hands. A slight twinge of confidence was growing inside me, a tiny spark of pride warming my chest.
“Why don't we try parking?” Julian said.
“I don't know about that,” Lucas said. “That's how I got whiplash the last time.”
I scowled at my brother. “Don't be a backseat driver.”
I turned the wheel to the right, aiming for one of the painted parking spots on the far side. My foot was steady on the pedal, my hands precise. Everything felt controlled, the tension in my shoulders easing, and my body relaxing. “I've got this,” I muttered under my breath. I pushed my foot slightly down on the gas, and the car responded perfectly, gliding forward with a gentle ease.
Maybe parking wasn't so terrible.
Maybe—
Maybe I should have picked a parking spot that wasn't in front of a light post …
I pressed the brakes, slowing the car to a crawl as I prepared to ease into the space. The wheel turned under my fingers like magic, the post lining up perfectly with the vehicle. I could feel the triumph building, a smug grin creeping onto my face, and then ... I saw it. In the rearview mirror, Kayla's hand moved towards Lucas's. Their fingers intertwined.
My stomach dropped. What the—
I turned my head, curiosity pulling me to look at them, completely forgetting to put the car in park. My stomach dropped as the vehicle began to roll forward. Panic surged through me, and in a moment of sheer terror, I pressed the gas pedal instead of the brake. The car lunged forward violently, a wild beast escaping its restraints.
We charged towards the light post. The car’s bumper collided with the metal pole with a loud crunch. The car stopped, but the damage was already done. There was a moment of silence as we tried to process what had happened. To make matters worse, Kayla was still holding hands with my brother. Embarrassment ached in my stomach. Betrayal and anger burned inside my chest. And a bit of terror mixed with panic shook me to my very bones.
No one dared to speak first. I let out a long, slow breath, pried my fingers from the wheel, and sank deep into the seat. My cheeks were burning, and humiliation rolled over me. My breath felt suffocated, and I had to get out of the car. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and pushed the car door open, my hands shaking as I stepped out, gravel crunching underneath my sneakers. A metallic taste of anxiety laced with anger coated my tongue, a deep acid burning inside my chest that had nothing to do with the car crash. I glanced back to see Kayla and Lucas still sitting in the back seat, their hands untangling slowly like neither of them had realized they were intertwined with each other just seconds ago.
The distant sound of the fire department and police sirens was muffled by the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. Someone in the school must have seen me plow into their light and called the cops.
Lucas was the first to swing open the car door, fumbling slightly as he climbed out onto the asphalt. Kayla followed closely behind. My mother and Julian chose to remain firmly seated.
Words suddenly escaped from my mouth. “After what she did to you, Lucas, you're just going to take her back? One night of delusion, and you're ready to forgive everything?” The bitterness of the words lingered in my mouth.
They both stood there, frozen. I knew I was overreacting, and I understood that they had every right to be together. But if I couldn't have Jamie, why should they have each other? I realized I was being selfish and bitter, but today, of all days, I couldn't bear to watch them build the life I would never have with Jamie.
“Alex, it's not—” Kayla’s voice was soft but scratchy like nails on a chalkboard. I wasn't in the mood for excuses. Not today.
I took a step closer, my arms crossing tightly over my chest. “Not what? Not you playing Lucas again?” My gaze flicked between them.
Kayla glanced at Lucas, desperately searching for backup, but Lucas stood silent. His shoulders were stiff, and his mouth was sealed. “Why can't you let it go? I thought last night may have changed things.”
“Because it's not fair!” I screamed.
The distant wail of sirens sliced through the air, their red and blue lights flashing in the corner of my eye. Julian stepped out of the car, leaning against the hood. The fire department, police, and EMTs surrounded us. We stood there awkwardly, silent, as one of the police officers approached.
“All right, folks,” he said, stopping in front of Julian. “Mind telling us what happened here?”
Julian rubbed the back of his neck. “I let Alex drive.” He pointed toward the fallen light post, now lying pathetically on the ground with wires poking out, still smoking slightly from sparks.
“Again, Alex? You hit the school again?” the police officer said, mouth wide open. Everyone was aware of my driving record.
“It was an accident! And I only hit the light, not the building this time.”
“Uh-huh. Sure, that makes it better.” He scribbled something down on his notepad. “The fire department needs to check the light, while the EMTs must examine everyone in the car. It's standard procedure to ensure no one is hurt. You know the drill.”
Yes, I knew the drill.
“We're fine,” I said quickly, but he didn't seem to care.
And that's when I heard a familiar voice.
“You three okay over here?”
The voice was low, familiar in a way that felt like a memory. As I turned my head to look, the intense sun blinded me. Blinking rapidly, I attempted to focus my eyes and adjust to the sudden change in brightness. My mind played a trick on me for a fleeting moment, and I caught sight of Jamie's father. My heart leaped into my throat, and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I knew my imagination was running wild, but it still made my body freeze. The last thing I wanted was to see that man anywhere near me.
My eyes widened as I blinked rapidly, and my vision cleared, allowing me to see better.Not possible.
I rubbed my eyes again.
Why is the image not changing?
I blinked again. What was in those pancakes? I must have been hallucinating.
But I wasn’t. No matter how many times I blinked, the person standing before me never changed. Jamie’s dad was standing three feet from me, wearing an EMT uniform, hair slicked back, and clutching a first aid kit.
My heart stopped. It didn't race like it usually did when panic settled in; it just stopped. The last time I saw Jamie's dad was when I ran out of his trailer after discovering Kayla in Jamie's bed. That was the last time I saw Jamie in five years, until last month when he knocked on my apartment door in Boston.
A wave of vertigo washed over me, and the air spun. I had to steady myself against the car door to avoid losing my balance. Everything blurred and swirled as the world faded into darkness. My vision turned black, and my mind shut off, leaving me with nothing but the cold, sweet embrace of nothingness.
Chapter twenty
The moment you find the one
Your life becomes undone
August 29, 2016:
Life can change quicker than the snap of a finger. Bad can turn to good, and good can turn to bad. Life after our junior year was much the same. Before prom, life was bad, but afterward, it became good. If only we had known the ruin that would soon impel our future.
The summer before my senior year, life felt like a storybook. Every day, the sun shone, the birds sang, and all was right with our little world. Lucas and Kayla, who had been flirting for what felt like an eternity, had finally made their relationship official. Their love story often resembled something straight out of a cheesy romantic comedy. Meanwhile, Jamie and I were that couple who always seemed inseparable, going on dates every weekend and being sweet to each other to the point of being nauseating. All was right in our little world, that was until the Scholastic Aptitude Test—the SATs—and the question about our college futures came looming.
August 29, 2016, was the night before the test, a weird, late-summer SAT the district decided to squeeze in at the last minute. A dozen textbooks were scattered around my room like depressing decorations. I blinked, the action releasing a disturbing squeaking sound from my dry, rubber-like eyeballs. Glancing up, I saw Kayla lying upside down on my bed with her legs resting high in the air on the headboard, flipping through the SAT guidebook as if it were a magazine. Lucas was sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by perfectly aligned, color-coded notes that resembled an art project more than a syllabus. Meanwhile, Jamie was lying flat on the floor with a book on top of his face, acting like a tent, and the sound of his snoring was rumbling through its pages.
“I don't know why we're still doing this. Can we please go to bed, Lucas?” I muttered, dropping my highlighter on the floor and stretching my arms behind me.
Kayla sighed dramatically, “If I have to read one more thing about prime numbers, I'm dropping out of school and joining the circus.”
Lucas barely looked up from his note cards. “Maybe if we had started studying this afternoon like I suggested, we wouldn't have to stay up all night,” he said. It was true that Lucas had the better idea of studying in the afternoon instead of at midnight the night before the exam. But I couldn’t help but watch the Twilight movie marathon on HBO that morning.
I folded my arms over my Scooby-Doo graphic sweatshirt. “Excuse me, Mr. Organized, but if my memory serves, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who suggested that we study last week. but you wouldn’t stop sucking face with Kayla long enough for anyone to study,” I shot back.
Kayla rolled over onto her stomach. “I'm going to miss your bickering when we all go off to college.”
I chuckled, but a hollowness in my chest made it difficult to breathe. College was the exact conversation I was trying to avoid.
Kayla shuffled forward on the bed, resting her head lightly next to Lucas, who was below her. “Hey, I found this super cute apartment right next to Stanford. It’s only a five-minute walk to the campus café. How great is that?”
Tension tightened in my chest. I knew it was coming, but hearing her talk about it as if it were a done deal made everything feel real. My entire life, the only thing I had focused on was escaping this tiny town. Don't get me wrong, I had a great childhood, all things considered, and this place would always be home, but I didn't want it to be my final destination, as it was for many of the people who graduated from high school here. Yet, when the opportunity to escape was right within my grasp, I surprisingly no longer wanted to seize it. For once, everything was perfect.
Someone tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and a body pressed into my shoulder. “Hey, beautiful,” Jamie said softly, still groggy from his nap.
I shifted my body deeper into his, allowing his arm to wrap around me and pull me to the side of him. “Hey,” I said, hoping the conversation about college would end.
Jamie looked up at Lucas. “So, is Stanford a done deal?”
Ugh, why does Jamie have to keep talking?
Before Lucas could answer, Kayla jumped in, her smile stretching from ear to ear. “Definitely! I've been planning it for months. Just need to crush this test tomorrow, and the rest is history.”
Jamie nodded lightly, his body sinking a little bit. My eyes flicked up to him, but his gaze was locked on Kayla and Lucas. There was something dark in his expression, something quiet and restrained, a look that I, too, was mirroring.
Kayla was oblivious to our discomfort. “What about you guys? Have you figured anything out yet? You two never talk about the future; the times are ticking.”
Yeah, I know.
I gulped and looked down at my textbook. “We haven't discussed it yet.”
Jamie took my textbook away from me. “Maybe we should …”
“Now?”
“Can you think of a better time?”
“At my funeral, preferably.”
“Not funny.”
A shift in his tone silenced the room, and even Kayla set up, her highlighter rolling off the bed. I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of unspoken words. His gaze was locked on mine, something profound and urgent shimmering beneath the surface.
“I think you should apply for Emerson,” he said.
I shrugged. “Why?”
His eyes narrowed. “Because you've been talking about that program since we were fifteen.”
I felt my face flush. “So? Things change. I don't want to go that far away from home.”
Jamie's eyes widened, and he quickly pulled his arm away from me, his body tensing with surprise. “Since when? That's been your only dream since you were like six.”
Now, I was getting irritated. “Why do you keep using the past like an equation to calculate the future?”
Jamie's jaw clenched as he stared at me. “Why do you keep pretending it's not?”
I dropped my gaze to my hands and picked at the cuticles of my nails. “I don't want to go somewhere you're not.”
He took my hand in his. “Who says I won't be there?”
“What do you mean?”
A smirk tugged at his lips. “Boston's got other schools. State schools and community colleges. I'll get in somewhere.”
My heart stuttered. “You'd ... go to Boston?” My voice came out quieter than I intended.
He shrugged like it was the easiest decision in the world. “Where you go, I go. I'd follow you anywhere.”
I was speechless at his words. Without hesitating or talking myself out of agreeing to this plan, I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him into me, and pressed my lips to his. In that instant, nothing else mattered. Our lips said more than words ever could.
Kayla groaned. “And we've officially hit rom com territory. Someone get me popcorn for this chick flick.”
Lucas chuckled, but he didn't interrupt. Jamie and I didn't move; we were locked in our little bubble of romantic bliss. It was sappy, but I couldn't help but feel a little hope for the future.
Jamie wasn’t just saying it; he meant it. Jamie would follow me to Boston, to the ends of the earth. He would always be by my side.
“Just think about it,” he added, leaning deeper into me. “You're meant for something bigger than this town, Alex. Don't settle. Not even for me.”
I bit my lip. Honestly, I hadn't even planned on applying. I wasn't sure if it was the fear of rejection or the possibility of getting in that held me back from filling out the application. But the way Jamie was looking at me now made me reconsider everything.
“I'll think about it,” I whispered.
Three loud knocks pounded my bedroom door, rattling the knob.
“Hey! Why are you kids still here?” Julian’s voice boomed, the urgency in his tone snapping me awake.
Still here? I rubbed my eyes and glared at my alarm clock.
Oh shit! It was 8:30 a.m.!
A bolt of panic surged through my chest. “Oh my God!” I launched my feet off the floor like a rocket shooting to the moon.
I twisted my neck, feeling a sharp crack and pop as I looked around. Jamie and Lucas were crumpled up next to me, snoring softly, their limbs entangled in a mess of scattered papers and textbooks, a sticky note with Lucas’s elegant cursive writing plastered directly on his forehead. Meanwhile, Kayla sprawled out on my bed like a princess under a sleeping spell.
“Get up! Get up! We overslept!”
Jamie mumbled from the floor. “Five more minutes, Mom.”
“Wake up!” I yelled so loudly that I was surprised my windows didn't break.
Kayla rolled off the bed, landing with a loud thud. She squinted as the morning sun hit her face. “No … no! Why did no one set an alarm?”
I balled my fists up at her. “Because you said you would set an alarm.” I snapped.
“… oh.” She guiltily smiled back.
Lucas scrambled to his feet, frantically searching for his phone. “The test starts in ten minutes. We'll never make it in time.”
