Summoning Trouble, page 17
“Yeah, I don’t understand the hats either,” Jerome said as we drove home. “I was thinking maybe we had to see them to understand, but even then, I’m not sure we’d get it.”
“A few hats, sure. But they were the most prolific on the list. I was expecting art supplies or works of art to be the most prolific, or maybe even swords, but hats?”
“It’s like that Monty Python sketch about people not wearing enough hats,” Jerome said, and we both giggled. I loved Monty Python and had introduced Jerome to the skit crew last year. It turned out Jerome also loved it and got the humor. When life was beating us to shit, we usually watched a few episodes curled up with popcorn on the couch.
“Yeah, it feels like a popcorn and Python kind of night,” I told him.
“I think that is a fan-fucking-tabulous idea.” Jerome grinned at me. I ignored the swear word, gods knew he’d heard me say it enough, both out loud and in my head. “Also, for the record, Remiel is my favorite uncle.”
“That’s because he gets box seats at the Cardinals games.” I smiled. “I think he is becoming my favorite uncle, too. Especially for admitting he caused his own possession once. Also, I think he was right to hide his ulterior motive from me at first. I know I should be mad about it, all of it, but I would have handled it badly if he hadn’t waited for me to mature and accept myself.”
“I agree,” Jerome said. We were getting out of the car in the garage when my cell phone rang. It was Remiel. A moment later, Azrael began calling Jerome. We both frowned. “I think this means no Python tonight.” I nodded glumly.
“We think we need Jerome to help Michael. I don’t know if he’s ever tried mimicking Michael’s power, but it’s faded to the point I can’t help,” Remiel told me, and it suddenly made sense that Remiel had volunteered to stay with Michael at the hospital.
“Shit. Okay.” I hung up and texted Magda. Jerome and I need to get to the hospital fast. I’m going to open a portal, even though you’re not with me. I didn’t wait for a response. Jerome and I stepped outside the garage, and I started opening the portal as Jerome began closing the garage door behind us. He had hung up with Azrael and was now texting someone. I waited for him to finish, and then we stepped together through the portal and ended up in someone’s car. It hadn’t been there the last time I’d used a portal to get to the hospital, and in my haste, I’d forgotten to check the place I wanted to put the portal before doing so. The problem with opening a portal into an object is part of the object will fall through the portal due to gravity and other laws of physics. This meant when we got home half a car would be in my driveway. This was going to be an issue when the car owner came out. Fuck. I took a picture of the now half car and sent it to Magda and my father with the caption Fuck! I am so sorry! And then I walked with Jerome into the hospital. Hopefully Dad would know what to do about it, because I felt I needed to get Jerome to Michael in a hurry.
“You got here fast!” Azrael said, as we walked into the hospital lobby.
“Yeah, there’s half a car in the parking lot because of it.” Jerome smiled. “Where do I need to go, Soleil is going to need to talk to the car owner before she can come up.”
“I’ll just take you.” Azrael said, giving me a grin. I waved to them as they left. Well fuck. How did I find the car owner? I didn’t want to sit outside and just wait. Jerome could get a power boost from me, and I was sure I could do something to help. I walked up to the front desk. A pleasant looking young lady sat behind the desk. How did I explain to her that I needed to know who the owner of a car I just cut in half was?
“Oh man, Soleil,” Magda said from behind me. “I had to come see it in person.”
“I was trying not to panic; we got a call that Jerome needed to help Michael. I forgot to use the sight spell and there wasn’t a car there last time I saw it.”
“That is why you have to be supervised for at least a year,” Magda said with a smile. “Thankfully, you have two things going for you. The first, you’re an angel. Second, you have rich parents.”
“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” I admitted, pursing my lips.
“You might be able to convince the car owner to not file a complaint, partly because you just make people feel better and because you might be able to buy them a replacement. I would go...”
“With anything he wants,” Raphael said from behind us. He had no doubt flown.
“Miss, did you hit someone’s car in the parking lot? If so, we just need your insurance information and where the car was, the make and model of your car, and we can let you know when the car owner comes out to find their vehicle damaged.” The woman at the desk said in a cheerful voice. “Don’t worry it happens at least once a day.”
“I did not. I opened a portal into one,” I said and pulled out my phone. I showed her the picture I had taken minutes earlier.
“Oh shit!” she squealed and then covered her mouth and began apologizing profusely.
“I think you meant oh fuck,” I offered her. “That is currently my feeling about it.”
“Yes, but it’s unprofessional for me to swear, especially at the front desk.”
“Huh, you’re a cherub,” I said.
“Yes, the hospital has discovered...” she stopped and stood up, looking around me. “He’s a seraph.”
“No dear, archangel.” Raphael corrected her. “This is my daughter, Soleil, who is also an archangel.” Dad did a somewhat disheartened gesture toward my super pathetic black and red wings. “She is not completely cleared yet for portal travel for this reason. If possible, I would like to leave my information for the car owner. I’m willing to pay for a complete replacement, of course. Especially since the other half of the car is probably in my daughter’s house.”
“We were in the driveway,” I responded glumly.
“Jerome said he was needed to tend to Michael. I understand you were in a huge hurry. So, I need to have the other half removed from your driveway?”
“Yes.” I nodded sheepishly.
“This is your one. If you do this again without a good reason, you will be stuck driving the rest of your life,” Dad said to me, and while he was being stern, he was also smiling, which sort of ruined the effect. I think he was smiling because he really wanted to laugh at me. I wanted to run away and cry. I was beginning to wonder if I was actually a very emotionally imbalanced person. I used to not cry much. Now I felt like nearly everything could bring me to the brink of tears, or at least threatened to.
“Damn, Azrael left me.” I turned back to the cherub at the desk. “I totally understand why they put a cherub on the front desk, it’s a good business strategy. Make sure they pay you really well. I have an odd, well, even odder problem than the car. The archangel Michael is here in the hospital somewhere and the archangel Azrael who was here when I walked in was supposed to take me to him. But...” I cocked my head to the side. “Anyway, I don’t think Michael is a patient and I need to find them. You wouldn’t happen to know what floor or what department he was in last do you? I mean, maybe someone just mentioned in passing...”
“He was admitted about half an hour ago,” the woman interrupted me.
“What?” Magda, Raphael, and I all said at once.
“Yes, the archangel Michael had to be admitted about half an hour ago. I’m supposed to turn away everyone that isn’t family.” She sterned up the look on her face.
“He’s my brother,” Raphael said in a tone that implied the sentence ended in duh.
“I’m sorry, the file specifically says family and then has two names listed. Jerome Dusdain and the archangel Remiel. There is a picture of the archangel Remiel in the file, and it does not match you. I already know your name is Soleil, not Jerome.” Wow. She took her job seriously.
“Fine.” I said. “Jerome is my son; he went with Azrael as soon as we came in. I would like to know where the minor I came into the hospital with has gone, even if I cannot go into my Uncle Michael’s room.”
“You will take the elevators at the end of the corridor up to the fifth floor. When you get out, turn right and there will be a secured ward with a nurse at a station. You will need to talk to her.”
“Thank you. Dad, I’ll just leave my information, you go up and get information from Azrael about what’s going on, and I will join you when I finish here,” I told Raphael.
“I suspect I am of no use to Michael if visitors have been limited to Jerome and Remiel,” Raphael replied and stepped up next to me.
“This sounds serious, what can I do?” Magda asked.
“I’m not sure,” Raphael said, as he pulled out a business card and scribbled on the back of it, adding a small note and his cell phone number. “Please give this to the car owner when they come in to complain about having half a car.” He gave the card to the woman behind the desk. Then he turned away from her. He looped his arm around mine, and then did the same to Magda and walked both of us down the hall toward the elevator.
“Raph, are you okay?” Magda asked. It was weird to hear anyone call my father Raph, a few of his brothers did it on occasion, but most people called him Raphael.
“Magda, we, no I, expected to lose Remiel before Michael. I mean I know Michael has talked about dying before, but he has always seemed to have so much to live for in comparison. I don’t know if any of us will survive the loss of him.”
“I can get a coven here in under an hour to bolster Jerome and Remiel with our healing magic,” Magda said. “While I know Remiel won’t get much use of it, Jerome....” Magda shrugged, and I looked at her in time to see her wipe away a tear.
“Please call your coven, Magda, we might need all the help we can get,” Raphael said quietly. The doors to the elevator opened at that moment. Magda turned from them, digging out her phone. I stepped inside with my father.
“Dad?” I asked when the doors closed.
“I’m okay, Sol,” Dad responded but he pulled me into a hug and wrapped his wings around me. Not going to lie, it didn’t feel like he was okay. I couldn’t do a fucking thing to help. The bell dinged and the doors opened. Azrael was pacing in the hallway in front of the desk we were told about.
“Michael wants to see you,” he said, as soon as we entered the hallway. I pulled away from Dad and pushed him forward. “No, Soleil, he wants to see you.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. I just know the nurse came out and told me Michael had added Soleil to his visitor list.”
“Go see what he wants,” Dad said to me, this time giving me a little push forward. I took another step toward the nurse, who demanded identification. I dug out my driver’s license and my exorcist license and passed both through a small metal slot at the bottom of a window. She examined them.
“Go to the door, a nurse will come out to get you and escort you to see the patient,” she told me as she slid both ID cards back to me. “However, he’s not possessed.”
“I’m his niece,” I said lamely. The door opened at the end of a short walkway and a nurse stepped out. I turned and followed her. The rooms in this ward were all encased in glass with razor wire, and I wondered for a moment if we were in a psychiatric care ward. Then I felt it. Demon magic. We were in a possession ward, but that didn’t seem like the right place for Michael to be if he wasn’t possessed.
The nurse stopped in front of a door and opened it, then ushered me inside. Remiel stood next to a window. Jerome sat in a chair next to the bed where my Uncle Michael lay.
“This is the possession ward,” I said. Everyone was already looking at me.
“It is,” Michael agreed, his voice weak. “I didn’t bring you back here to do an exorcism on me, though. I need another type of favor, and if it’s too big of an ask, you can tell me no. No, you will tell me no. Remember I have two mind readers here to tell me what you are really thinking.”
“What can I do to help?” I asked, stepping forward finally. I heard the door close and lock behind me.
“He needs an antidote,” Remiel said, with a sigh.
“Okay,” I said. I stepped closer and then I got brave and walked right up to the bed. There was Stygian magic in the room. “Antidote to what?” I asked, remembering the poison of the Furies I’d been contaminated with a few years ago while dealing with demon boxes. I could get Fury antidote easily, so I kinda hoped that’s what he needed. Unfortunately, I was positive it wasn’t, because they hadn’t possessed Stygian magic.
“Basilisk venom,” Michael said.
“I will hold my questions about how you became infected with basilisk venom for later. I’m guessing it’s a Stygian creature,” I said.
“Yes.” Remiel nodded. He looked older than he had at dinner. “We need enough for both Michael and Penelope; that spell on the bullet wasn’t a spell, it was basilisk venom. Even combined, Jerome and I can’t stop it, and neither can Michael, but he didn’t realize that until it was too late.”
“Okay, so I go to the Stygian and ask Leviathan or Lucifer for basilisk venom antidote.”
“We think you will probably have to catch the basilisk yourself and milk it,” Jerome said. “I have already asked Leviathan, and he does not have any. The basilisk makes both venom and antivenom. It has two sets of fangs, one that injects venom and one that injects antivenom. Each contains different types of Stygian magic.”
“I feel like this is probably something Leviathan created. Only he would think to put the toxin and the antidote that close together.”
“Actually, no. Basilisks used to be Earth creatures, but a single drop of venom can kill a couple hundred supernaturals. If they don’t drain their venom voluntarily from time to time, it just oozes and drips everywhere. Even touching it can cause envenomation.”
“Ah,” I said. “But the magic feels Stygian.”
“It probably is,” Michael said from the bed. “I suspect Jophiel and Zadkiel needed to borrow a great deal of magic from sources besides supernaturals to create the Stygian. That is why we think you may be able to do it. Jerome has Stygian magic, but not like you. However, it will be dangerous, any mistake and you will end up envenomated as well. This is a serious favor, Soleil, you are not obligated to get it.”
“How did our bad guy get it?” I asked. “I don’t think he jumped the divide and milked a basilisk.”
“That is a good question, but we can answer it later,” Jerome said. “The only thing keeping Michael alive is that Remiel and I are repairing the damage done by the venom. If we stop, even for a moment....” Jerome said.
“I will do it. I’ll be back soon,” I told them, and left the room. Once I got the antivenom, I was going to figure out how the hell it was obtained, and then I might exorcise everyone in the possessed ward, because it just felt wrong for the people and the demons to be in there. Possession wards existed because sometimes exorcisms failed, usually because the soul had been destroyed, but sometimes just because the demon got stuck.
I left the possession ward. I would go find and milk a basilisk, but I believed Magda’s coven was necessary, and I was not going to do it alone. Going things alone are how people get dead and the bad guys win. Dad and Azrael were pacing the hallway now.
“Okay, we have a task, and it will be dangerous. I’m going to try to get some demons and hell princes to assist us, because I am sure we are going to need a lot of help. The spell on the bullet isn’t a spell, its basilisk venom, and I’ve been told I have to milk a basilisk to get the antivenom for both Michael and Penelope. Jerome and Remiel are keeping Michael alive right now by repairing his body as the venom shreds it, which means Magda and her coven doing healing spells would be a really good thing. So first we get Magda and her coven and get them cozy in the possession ward, and then we go to the Stygian and milk a basilisk.” No one argued with me, which was a surprise. I had expected it for some reason. “Oh, and when we get back, we need to figure out how the hell someone got basilisk venom.” As a group we went back downstairs. Magda was outside smoking a cigarette. I walked over to her.
“Well?” she asked.
“Michael’s been envenomated with basilisk venom, as has Penelope. I’m going to milk a fucking basilisk for its antivenom. Jerome and Remiel are keeping Michael alive by mimicking his healing power to keep up with the damage the venom is doing. We need your coven. He’s being held in the possession ward. If your coven can assist with healing magic, then maybe we can get ahead of it. Once I’ve milked a basilisk for antivenom and Michael and Penelope are out of danger, we need to call Miguel and investigate how the fuck someone got hold of the venom in the first place. Because I can’t imagine people jumping the divide to milk basilisks and the AESPCA not knowing about it.”
Magda started to say something and then closed her mouth. Then she opened it again. Then she closed it again.
“Okay, if you have something to say, say it, because I get the impression there’s a time crunch.”
“AESPCA scientists have basilisk venom. About six months ago, the stock of venom and antivenom was damaged when a refrigerator gave out. It was all disposed of, and hasn’t been replaced yet, because yes, jumping across the divide to milk a basilisk is difficult. Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Magda finally said.
“Yes, Michael and Penelope need your healing magic more than I need you right now. We’re going to gather a demon army and milk a basilisk. If there’s extra, the AESPCA can have it,” I said. “Oh, do you happen to know how to tell the difference between the fangs that secrete venom and the fangs that secrete antivenom?”
“The venom is white, and the antivenom is pink,” Magda replied. “The antivenom contains basilisk blood cells, hence the coloration.”
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