Witch, Warlock & Vampire Box Set 2: A Vampire Romance Series (Witch, Warlock & Vampire Box Sets), page 41
She sighed as her frown softened a little. “I guess you have a point.”
“Had it been my choice, I would have taken you to an elegant restaurant in London or perhaps Paris. But since your sister informed me that if we leave Kinloch, we shall not be able to return, owing to the anti-location spell, I have had to abandon that notion entirely.”
“Good thing you thought about it first. Otherwise, it could have been another Sinjin Sinclair disaster.”
She smiled at me in a teasing way as she said this. While I normally would be quite offended by such a jab, I felt myself responding with a smile of my own.
When we reached the rose garden, Bryn’s eyes widened as she spotted the blanket spread out on the middle of the courtyard. I took it upon myself to ransack Kinloch’s supply of food, searching for as many gourmet ingredients as I could find. I was not exactly well versed in the culinary preparation of food, having forgotten what most humans enjoy eating. Luck was on my side, however, when Betta miraculously appeared during my foray to aid me with my selections. Now I smiled as I beheld the crust-free cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches that were piled upon a serving plate, along with a smorgasbord of olives and tapenade, smoked salmon and crackers, dusted with dill, and a random assortment of fruit. For beverages, I hand-squeezed oranges and added fizzy water. Yes, I had taken that task upon myself although Betta had chided me for leaving most of the juice upon the kitchen counter. Alas, I was not cut out for such culinary minutia.
When I turned to face Bryn, she appeared both confused and amused concurrently.
“I do hope you approve,” I said, wondering if I had either gone a little overboard or perhaps I had not gone far enough? Of course, if her lithe figure were any indication, I doubted she was a very big eater.
“You made all of this?” she asked as she nodded at the food before turning her wide eyes on me again.
I cleared my throat with uncharacteristic discomfort. “Yes, with a, uh, tiny bit of help.”
Bryn’s smile widened, which made her suddenly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. “Color me more than impressed.”
“My lady,” I said as I helped her take her seat on the blanket. I watched her tuck her legs beneath her like a lamb as she reached for a serviette. I took it from her and proceeded to unfold the cloth before I placed it on her lap.
“Fancy,” she said with a laugh.
“Please, help yourself,” I urged as I handed her a china plate that had a floral pattern of repeating pink rosebuds. She accepted the plate and started to fill it with the various foods. I sat down beside her and watched, curious to see which items she gravitated towards the most.
“I have to admit, you really outdid yourself, Sinjin,” she said as she picked up one of the sandwiches and eagerly bit into it.
“I hope you are enjoying my choice of cuisine,” I said, watching her take another bite. Then she reached for a bunch of grapes.
“Do you miss eating food?” she asked between large mouthfuls.
“No,” I answered honestly after giving the question serious consideration. “It has been so long since I ate something that I cannot remember what it feels like to have an appetite for anything other than the sanguine.”
“I guess that’s good in your case,” she said after plopping another plump grape into her mouth. “I imagine it would be pretty awful to watch everyone else eat if you couldn’t and wished you could.”
“Yes, I daresay it would be quite a pity.” Of course, I had an entirely different appetite in mind of filling in the near future.
We were quiet for a few seconds as Bryn ate a salmon-dill cracker and I observed her. She shivered again from the cold and her light clothing. In response, I removed my suit jacket and stood up to drape it around her shoulders. That mission accomplished, I sat back down beside her.
“I bemoan the fact that I lack the body heat to keep you more comfortable,” I said.
“It’s okay,” she answered as she pulled my jacket around her and inhaled deeply. “It smells like you.”
“Shall I consider that a compliment?” I asked with a chuckle.
“You know you always smell good,” she retorted. “There’s no such thing as a bad smelling Sinjin.”
“Well, I am certainly pleased you think so.”
She nodded and gazed down at her plate without making any motion to eat anything more. Instead, she put her plate back down on the blanket and faced me. “I’m not really sure what we’re doing out here, Sinjin.”
I felt my stomach drop as I realized the direction of her thoughts. Why could she not deign to enjoy a few moments of respite without forever considering what else she could be doing?
“Why, we are enjoying one another’s company while you partake of a meal, of course.”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” she said, upsetting the quiet night with her near-yell. She cleared her throat as she realized how close she was to breaking the mood. “We shouldn’t be doing this, not when we don’t know what’s happening with Luce or his plans. There’s still so much to do and so many preparations that need to be made...and that’s on top of the troop training that feels like it’s going nowhere.”
As much as I agreed with her comment regarding the initial progress of our raw recruits, this was not the time to add to her consternation. “Everything in due time, Bete Noire. On the positive side of the equation, our borders have never been better defended, our leadership is engaged in around-the-clock research and intelligence gathering and we have successfully squashed our enemy’s first attempt at gaining sensitive information.”
She shook her head. “It’s just…even under better circumstances, it would be difficult for me to relax and enjoy this sort of thing,” she said as she glanced down at the spread of food. “But now? I can’t stop thinking about how Luce could attack us any minute. On the negative side of that equation you mentioned, the anti-location wards could make us no better than sitting ducks for Luce’s people when—not if—the attack finally comes. All he’d have to do is set up just outside the boundary of the wards and we wouldn’t know it until the attack came.”
“Part of that statement is true,” I replied. “But it is also true that we are doing everything in our power to not only protect ourselves but to track him down. One meal shared with me does nothing to change that calculation even slightly.” I shrugged. “And, besides, you must eat, correct?”
“You sound just like my sister,” Bryn teased with another grin. God, but it was a joy to see her lips turn upward just so.
“Then your sister and my queen is a wise woman indeed,” I acknowledged. “I therefore consider it a privilege to be compared to her,”
I was only half-kidding. I had nothing but the utmost respect and affection for my queen. Perhaps her advice had not been as dowdy as I had initially ruled it.
A dark shadow passed across Bryn’s face. But when she caught me looking at her, she hastily erased her features into something more placid.
“What is it?” I asked as I reached out and took her hand in mine.
“Nothing,” she said unconvincingly.
“That, my pet, is most assuredly a falsehood. I saw the anxiety pass across your face like a thief fleeing into the night.”
Bryn stared down at her hands as if she were unsure what to make of them before I loosely intertwined her fingers with my own. She appeared shocked at first, but her grip soon relaxed.
The pad of my thumb automatically began to stroke the top of her hand in small circles. Her skin was so soft, so delicate. I wanted nothing more than to taste it. The thought of tasting her led me to the more tempting thoughts of sampling her divine blood. As my fangs began to lengthen, I forcibly ejected the seductive thoughts from my head.
“I know it’s none of my business,” she started as color rose in her cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. “And I can’t believe I’m even bringing this up. It’s just…” She paused while her eyes seem to dance wildly around the rose garden before landing on me again.
“Go on, my little hellion,” I said, as gently as possible.
“I’m not sure I should say this because I don’t want to ruin your…I mean, our night.” Her voice was tinged with uncertainty and something else I could not quite place.
Her heart began to beat much faster in her chest but the pheromone output contained none of the usual burning desire I had come to associate with such cardiac activity.
“I cannot imagine that anything you have to say could ruin this night, my pet,” I assured her, slightly tightening my grip for emphasis.
Bryn’s eyes collided with mine, and she gulped. I heard the blood pumping in her veins, tinting her cheeks an attractive shade of red.
“Is it weird for you?” she blurted out finally.
I had to admit that her question puzzled me. “What, exactly, are you referring to?” I asked, leaning back on my elbows and crossing one leg over the other as I looked at her with keener interest.
“I mean, I look so much like my sister.”
I was surprised by her reply. I could not hide my sense of wonder which caused my eyebrows to rise together in curiosity. “No, it is not, as you say, weird for me,” I answered with a shrug. “True, your physical similarities to each other are certainly striking. Beyond that, however, you and Queen Jolie are as completely opposite as the night is to the day.”
Bryn made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. “That is not what I meant.”
“Prithee then, enlighten me! Whatever did you mean?”
“I mean—” she began, but she paused again and cleared her throat as if she were trespassing in uncomfortable territory. “You know.”
“I regret to say, dear tempest, that I most assuredly do not know. Having come so far, I therefore insist you explain yourself more thoroughly.”
“One thing I’ll say for you, Sinjin, is that you never make a situation easy,” she replied as a strand of hair fell across her face. My hand twitched, and before I knew what I was doing, I reached out and tucked the errant strand behind her ear. Our gazes locked but neither of us said anything for a few counts as the scent of blooming roses tickled my nostrils.
“I shall do my best to receive whatever information you wish to pass onto me without judgment.”
Her blue eyes were fathomless as they scrutinized me quietly, giving away nothing.
“I couldn’t help noticing the way you looked at Jolie when I first got here.”
My eyebrows knitted together because I now understood where our conversation was headed. I had to admit, I was no longer comfortable with our discussion. “And what way would that be again?”
“Like you were still in love with her,” she said clearly. Her face relaxed as she said this, a terrible weight falling off her metaphorical shoulders that would have been torture for an Atlas.
I expelled a harsh breath. “It is not like that, my pet, and never has been.” When she gave me a more pointed look, I hastened to add, “Your sister and I simply share a longstanding friendship.”
“I’m not arguing that.”
“What exactly are you arguing then?”
“I’m not arguing anything,” she said in a small voice as she glanced away from me, losing her gaze in the darkness of the bordering forest.
“Are you suggesting that I harbor feelings for your sister that go beyond my sense of duty and friendship?” I asked as I looked at her. She was looking anywhere but my face.
“Um.”
“Bryn,” I said softly. “You will not upset me if you say that this is so.”
She looked up at me. “I don’t know. I guess that’s why I’m asking you.”
She seemed to remember that our hands were still joined, and she glanced down at them and gently extracted hers from mine. I watched her for a few moments before I took her hand in mine again and kissed it. I allowed my lips to linger over her soft skin, and I was pleased when a ripple of goosebumps emerged.
“No, my pet, I am not in love with your sister, if that is indeed what you are asking me,” I clarified.
“But you were once in love with her?”
I cocked my head to the side as I considered my reply. “Yes, I harbored strong feelings for her once upon a time. But love? I cannot characterize what I felt then as love.” Could I characterize what I felt now as love? Hmm, I was not certain but I imagined the feeling was the closest to love that I had ever experienced.
“Okay, so explain to me why this isn’t weird to you? Jolie and I are twins, you may remember.”
“As if I could ever forget,” I answered with a kindly smile.
“So?”
I pursed my lips as I formulated my response. “It is simple, really. The feelings I carried for your sister have evolved into a close friendship since that time. Where you are concerned, in contrast, my feelings are very much the opposite.”
“What makes you think you weren’t actually in love with her?” she asked softly while unconsciously drawing herself closer.
“At the time, I did not believe I was capable of feeling that emotion, pet.”
“And what makes you think you are capable now… or are you?”
I shrugged. “I am not fully convinced of such. As you Americans are fond of saying, the jury is still very much out on that particular verdict. I wonder if I can be capable of such a thing as love. When you have walked the earth as long as I have, human emotions must recede in order to obey the imperatives of survival. Thus, things you once considered of the utmost importance have a way of diminishing over time.”
“Then you’re not capable of love?”
“I did not say that,” I corrected her. “I merely said I am not certain that I am capable of such. Even in my breathing days, I have strong doubts that I ever once experienced it, which only adds to my confusion. Of course, I do not pretend to have the answer… though I live in hope that old dogs such as myself can still learn new tricks.”
“Maybe,” she said. Her pheromone output changed again, the scent telling me how much she hoped that such belated lessons would apply to her as well. This realization thrilled me to my core.
“And what about yourself?” I inquired. “Why am I on the witness stand when you are perhaps even less capable of feeling romantic love than I am?”
“You aren’t on any witness stand, Sinjin,” she corrected me as she then sighed. “And as for me, I don’t know…outside of fighting, I don’t know what I’m capable of anymore.”
That statement peaked my interest. “Explain.”
“When I came here, I was a very different person,” she stated and a wistful expression overcame her face. “I don’t think I even had any other emotions except for anger.”
“You have certainly come a long way, my little hellion.”
“Yes, I have. Now I feel lots of things for other people that I never imagined possible. I definitely learned what love is and I am grateful for that lesson every day I wake up. Jolie taught me so much about that.”
“But what of romantic love? We both know that there are various forms of love.”
She glanced down at her lap and nodded. “I don’t have an answer for you.” She was quiet for a few seconds before she looked up at me again and smiled sadly. “Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I would have been capable of love if the things that happened to me at Luce’s compound hadn’t occurred.”
I felt her mood and mine shift instantly at the mention of that sensitive topic. “I understand.”
“I’m not sure you do,” she said as she studied me. “I’m afraid that what happened to me there scarred me forever.”
“I believe you can move beyond it if you choose to.”
“I keep telling myself the same thing,” she answered. “And yet, when you get close to me or when…”
She stopped herself short but I understood her meaning all the same.
“Or when Chevalier gets close to you,” I finished for her with a quick nod. The words tasted acidic in my mouth but she needed me to be her friend, not her suitor, in this matter. Thus her friend I would be.
“If any man gets close to me,” she clarified. “I start clamming up and I’m riddled with fear even if it doesn’t make any sense to me. I mean, I know you and Dureau would never hurt me.” It was my turn to clam up at the mention of the frog but I said nothing as she continued. “The weird part is…I want to feel close. I want to feel what I see Jolie and Rand sharing. But the other me, the one that’s hurt, won’t allow it to happen. So I’m left at an impasse.”
“I believe that is a very normal reaction to the evil you endured, my pet,” I said as I smiled at her in a consoling manner. “You must be patient with yourself. As each day goes by, you heal a little more. One day, the pain will be lessened substantially and perhaps on that day, you can make an effort to lower the wall sufficiently to allow someone into your heart.”
“I hope you’re right, Sinjin.” I had never her voice sound so small and vulnerable.
I nodded sadly as I wondered if I would be the man to benefit by her heart’s walls coming down. “As do I, little tempest. But I believe you will eventually overcome any obstacle that lies in your path, however formidable it may be.”
I released her hand, and immediately noticed the look of disappointment that crossed her face. I placed my thumb and index finger underneath her chin and tilted it up until she had no choice but to look me in the eyes.
“What…what are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.
“I want you to look at me when I tell you that I am very proud of you. You are a strong fighter and the obstacles you see before you will not hold you for long.” I stared at her and she stared back at me, neither of us breaking eye contact. “And remember,” I added. “Whatever else I may be, I am always here for you as your friend. Should you need my assistance or counsel, you need only ask.”
“Thank you, Sinjin,” she whispered.
I was not certain if it were a trick of the moonlight, but it seemed as though her eyes became a bit glassier than they were mere moments ago.
