Pillar of Ash, page 32
My overtaxed emotions barely stirred. I thought of the way Isik had reacted the first time he saw me bleed. I thought of the anger and dismay in his eyes, and realized that it hadn’t been directed toward me at all.
“Can you… take it away?” I asked. “My magic?”
“No.” Aita’s response was factual and calm. “It’s as much part of you now as your own blood.”
I drew a deep breath. “What price will I pay for healing the tree?”
The former goddess shook her head. “I cannot say. But I will be there, by your side.”
The promise made my throat thick. “Thank you.”
She nodded and the silence stretched. Wind whisked over the coals and I saw a foxfire rune outlined on a half-burned branch, its light extinguished but its form remaining.
“I should never use my magic again,” I murmured. “Now that this is over. But I know I will.”
Aita’s laugh was soft and she looked at me knowingly. “You have power you never should have gained, yes, but that does not erase the good that you can do with it. So do good with what you have. Heal and protect, with whatever tools you are given.”
She offered me her hand, smooth and pale. “Now, come. There are wounded to be healed, and I would like my apprentice at my side.”
I let her fold my hand in hers and she led me away from the pyres.
* * *
The next day, the sun rose in the east. The sky above the new-forged land of Imilidese was scarlet, the orb of the sun golden orange. In the twilight of the island, the door to the High Halls maintained a steady amber glow. Already, warriors were beginning to leave, traversing the High Halls under the vigilant escort of Isik and Esach, and Vynder and Duamel priests. In the face of the end of the world, concessions regarding travel through the High Halls had already been made. It seemed, perhaps, some would continue.
A large company remained behind, mostly Arpa, who, under Estavius’s direction and partnered with Arune and Thray, had already begun to help the Hask rebuild and ensure conflict with the Fith was at an end. In the coming years, trade would bloom between the Arpa, the peoples of the east and the west—but for now, homes needed to be rebuilt and bodies healed. The sounds of life soon filled the shores of the lake once more.
Berin and the remainder of our company departed before me, all save Nui—and, to my surprise, Seera. She stayed with me and her mother as I spent four days by Aita’s side healing, speaking with my parents and Thray over our campfire at night, and walking the edge of the new world.
I saw Isik little during those days—he gave himself wholly to his role of guarding human travelers through the Halls, and in the moments of quiet we stole together, his grief over his father’s death was all-encompassing. We did not speak of the stolen adris leaf. We did not speak of the future, not yet. But we took solace from one another’s presence and moved through one day after the next.
When I finally returned to Albor with my mother and the last of our people, our departure was quiet. I embraced Thray tightly and gave Arune a genuine smile, and bowed to Estavius. Nisien would remain here with him, for a time, and his embrace when I said goodbye was warm and tight and familiar.
“Will you come visit?” I asked Thray as I lingered beside the flickering rift.
“I’ve ten more years to my exile,” my cousin admitted, squeezing my hand and letting it fall. “I will finish it, as I swore I would. Though I will miss you, and I hope you will visit me?”
I nodded, smiling for her. I would likely return to see her soon, but for now I longed for home, so deeply and compulsively my bones ached.
Arune caught Thray’s eye and cocked his head toward the newly made east. “Oh come now, don’t look so grim. Ten more years with me, exploring that?”
“And guarding the Aruth,” Thray reminded him, but her tone was mild.
“And hunting down Logur,” Arune countered, pointing to the new east with a suggestive grin.
“Go on, Yske,” Nisien interrupted, pointing me toward the rift. I’d nearly been left behind, I realized, all my fellow travelers having passed through. “And give your brother my love. I’ll be home soon.”
The journey back to Albor was quiet. The endless reeds of the eastern High Halls had turned into a lush and fertile land of forest and meadows and plains, running right up to the former Unmade. There, the High Halls of the new east were as raw as their counterpart in the Waking World, rocky and barren and riddled with molten rock.
We passed back into the Eangen High Halls through a haze of runelight. I glimpsed the Hall of the Gods on the horizon, once, above the layered, mist-tangled pines. The air sat easy in my lungs, sweet and heady. From the fog, the dead watched us come and go, and I swore I saw Ovir among them, leading his second life in this gentler, stranger realm. My eyes burned at the thought of him and Bara and Sedi, and when I blinked my tears away, Ovir was gone.
* * *
Berin stood at the head of the Morning Hall with Isa at his side. The young woman had gained weight since we’d left, the thinness of her frame replaced with a plump, healthy glow. She had her arm around Berin’s back and her head on his shoulder while he held their son before the gathered assembly.
“Headwaters of Life, Weaver of the Stars. Pillar of the Four, Eternal, Unfaltering.” My mother’s voice carried throughout the hall. She stood next to Berin in a tunic of pale fireweed green, her gray-streaked hair braided over one shoulder and knotted with a beaded leather thong. Ursk stood beside her, Eirine’s new representation among the Eangen, and a temporary resident of the Morning Hall.
“We dedicate this child,” Hessa went on. “A son, born through pain and suffering, beloved and cherished.”
Isa began the dedication song, her voice high and sweet. Berin joined in a moment later than he should have, his deep voice thick with emotion. The rest of the hall picked up the words, carrying our hopes, our prayers and solidarity, up into the smoke-darkened rafters of the hall.
Berin’s eyes found mine through the crowd, heavy with gratitude. I smiled and, as distracted as I was with Berin and memories, I did not miss the way Ursk looked at the child—his eyes kind and knowing. Did he see little Ovir’s future, now? I willed that it be a kind one, though Fate had never been gentle to our bloodline.
I began to sing, too, as Berin looked down to his child. Isik stood nearby but the distance between us was marked, inches that felt like oceans, opened when I’d told him I knew the truth about Aita’s supposed gift on the shores of the island, the night before we left.
Isik’s lips were closed, the song unfamiliar to him, but the longing and regret I saw in his open, honest eyes made my heart ache.
Slipping my hand into his, I pulled him toward the back of the hall and out the door, into the cold hush of the winter night.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“Home,” I said, making for the gate and the trail up the mountain to where my little house slept, burdened with snow. “I’m taking you home.”
Epilogue
Warm light filtered through the trees as I shook dirt from my apron and picked up my basket. The earth was cool beneath my bare feet and the air gentle, not warm but not cold. The raining snow and ash, the bitter winds, and the welling fire of Imilidese’s new creation were distant memories, now.
The door of the house opened and Isik wandered out, pushing sleep-mussed hair back from his forehead. He smiled at the sight of me, softness touching each line of his face, and shifted the sleepy toddler on his hip. Eela’s mass of dark brown hair was as ruffled as his own and she leaned her forehead against his chest, looking at me through sleepy eyes, a half-smile on her lips.
“Walk me to the rift?” Isik asked.
I joined him as he passed through the garden, leaving my basket hooked over a fence post. I followed him barefoot down the familiar forest trail, doubly worn now that Isik spent most nights at my side.
Eela began to chatter, her arms around her father’s throat as she called over his shoulder, “Nui! Faster, Nui!”
The dog appeared from the trees, content to trail us with her tail absently waving. I tugged at Eela’s tunic as we walked, marking how small it had already become. I’d have to make new ones soon and tuck this one away for the next time my belly swelled.
The shrine sat pale in the sunlit meadow, all weather-worn beams and tiles and stark angles. Isik passed me the child and I trailed him through bowing poppies, black hearts shrouded in red petals.
At the rift between worlds, Isik stopped and looked down at us. He prodded Eela’s cheek until she looked up at him, and he bent his face down for a kiss, which she gave wholeheartedly.
Then Isik surveyed me, moving my braids back from one shoulder and trailing a thumb down my neck. We said our goodbyes, the rift flashed and he vanished.
Just as I turned away, the rift opened again. My mother appeared, her pack and shield at her back and one axe at her belt.
“Mama,” I greeted, surprised.
“Your father sends his love,” she said, leaning over to kiss my cheek, then ruffled Eela’s hair. She lowered her pack and glanced around the meadow, her eyes soft and touched with nostalgia. “It’s such a beautiful day, child. Sit with me for a time?”
I nodded. With Eela in my arms, we wandered past the shrine with its empty offering bowl. Windblown deadfall and leaves gathered inside but otherwise the bowl was clean, and there were no scuffs on the floor. No one had knelt here in decades.
“Down, down!” Eela protested, and I lowered her to her feet. She darted for Nui, who had lain down in the poppies nearby. In moments my daughter was on her knees beside the hound, tugging up grass and throwing it onto the dog’s back. Nui’s tail thumped. The girl shrilled in delight and my mother caught my eye, sharing a moment of amused affection.
I settled in, warm and content, and Hessa plucked a poppy. She twirled the stem between her callused, scarred fingers as we spoke of ordinary things, of family and home and summertime.
All the while the poppy spun, black-hearted and blood-red, beneath the sun.
GLOSSARY OF NAMES
A
Addack—A coastal tribe of the Eangen peoples and the name of their former Miri god.
Aegr (Ahy-ger)—An immortal bear demi-god, healed by the woodmaiden Liv, and thereafter protector of young women. Also called the Great Bear, or simply the Bear.
Aita (Ahy-tah)—A Miri, former goddess. The Great Healer who resides in the High Halls of the Dead.
Albor—The seat of the Eangen High Priesthood.
Algatt—The mountain peoples residing between Eangen and the Hinterlands.
Aliastros—The Miri who became the Ascended Emperor of the Arpa Empire and vessel of Eiohe. Also called Estavius.
Arpa—The empire to the south of Eangen.
Arune (Ah-rune)—A Windwalker, son of Ogam. Thray’s half-brother.
Aruth (Ah-rooth)—One of the three peoples of the east, those that split off from the Fith and are protected by a Winterborn.
Askir—One of Berin’s companions, a Vynder priest. Algatt.
B–D
Bara—One of Berin’s companions, husband of Sedi. Eangen.
Berin—Son of Hessa and Imnir, twin to Yske and named after Hessa’s late father.
Diviners, the—Adherents to the primary religion of the Duamel, which worships the sons and daughters of Ogam.
Duamel (Dh-wah-mel)—The people once called the Erene, dwellers of the far north and worshipers of Ogam.
E
Eangen (Een-gehn)—The peoples called after the fallen Miri Eang, who live between the Algatt Mountains and the Arpa Empire. Comprised of multiple smaller tribes, including the Addack, the Iskiri, the Meadan, and the Dur.
Eela (Ee-lah)—Yske’s daughter.
Effa (Ee-fah)—A Winterborn Icecarver and Windwalker, half-sister to Thray.
Eiohe—One of the Four Pillars, who interacts with the world through Estavius, the Ascended Emperor of the Arpa Empire.
Eirine (Eye-rin-ee)—A god of destiny and time, worshiped by the Duamel cult of the Sleepers.
Erene (Air-een)—An old Miri name for the people that became the Duamel.
Esach (Ee-sack)—A Miri, former Goddess of Storms and Harvest. Mother of Isik and numerous other children.
Esan—One of Berin’s companions. Eangen.
Estavius—The Ascended Emperor of the Arpa Empire. Also called Aliastros.
F–H
Fate—One of the Four Pillars, creator of the High Halls. Now bound within time itself, she governs and guides the destinies of all.
Feen—A woodmaiden.
Fith—One of the three peoples of the east, those that live in the forests and are enemies of the Hask.
Four Pillars, the—The four original deities of the Hall of Smoke world: Thvynder, Imilidese, Fate and Eiohe.
Frir (Fur-eer)—A Miri, former Goddess of the Dead, and patron goddess of Imnir, husband to Hessa and father of Yske and Berin.
Gadr (Gad, or Gad-er)—A Miri, former god who rules the Algatt as king.
Great Tree, the—The ash tree that stands at the eastern edge of the world, in the center of a lake.
Hask—One of the three peoples of the east, those that live on the shores of the Eastern Lake.
Hessa—Warrior and High Priestess of Thvynder among the Eangen, wife of Imnir, aunt to Thray, mother of Berin and Yske.
Hidden Hearth, the—The place within the High Halls where dead mortals are inexorably drawn to lie down for the Long Sleep, where they will rest until the end of the age. Formerly ruled by Frir.
High Halls, the (plural)—The Realm of the Dead.
High Hall, the (singular)—Eang’s former hall in the Realm of the Dead, the gathering place of the Miri and home of the Eangen Pantheon.
I–M
Icecarvers—Winterborn who can manipulate water and ice.
Imilidese—One of the Four Pillars.
Imnir (Ihm-neer)—High Priest of the Algatt and Shepherd of the Dead, husband to Hessa and father to Berin, Yske, and Uspa.
Inheritor, the—Chief ruler of the Duamel, a descendant of Ogam who inherits the right to rule, as ordained by Ogam himself.
Isa (Ee-sah)—Berin’s wife.
Isik (Iss-ick)—Son of Gadr and Esach. A Miri.
Iskiri—The northernmost Eangen tribe.
Iskiri Devoted—Members of the northern Eangen tribe who remain devoted to the Miri Eang. Enemies of the Vynder priesthood.
Ittrid—One of Berin’s companions. Soulderni.
Kygga (K-eye-geh)—A Windwalker, son of Ogam. Thray and Arune’s half-brother.
Logur (Low-gurr)—A riverman.
Miri (Meer-ee)—A powerful being possessed of semi-immortality, once worshiped as divinities. They reside, for the most part, in the High Halls.
N–R
Nisien—A horseman of the Soulderni plains, former Arpa legionary, protector of the north, and uncle to Thray.
Nui—Faithful hound and beloved god-dog, offspring of Ayo. Known for stealing hats. Mother of many pups.
Ogam (Oh-gam)—Son of the Miri Goddess of War Eang and her consort, the Elemental Winter. Killed by Eang during the Upheaval for his crime of releasing the Gods of the Old World from their tombs.
Omaskat (Om-ah-skat)—The Watchman of Thvynder.
Ovir—One of Berin’s companions. Eangen.
Revenants—Creatures made of moss and bone.
Rivermen—Male beings of reed and water, related to the Miri.
S–U
Savn—Monsters originating from the High Halls that merge wolves and bears.
Sedi—One of Berin’s companions, wife of Bara. Eangen.
Seera—One of Berin’s companions. Daughter of Uspa and Sillo, niece of Hessa, cousin to Yske and Berin. Eangen.
Sillo—Hessa’s cousin. Warchief of the Eangen, husband to Uspa, and father of Seera, Ulmen, and others.
Siru (See-rue)—Daughter of Ogam and a devotee of Aita. Thray’s half-sister.
Sixnit—Mother of Thray and Vistic, an Eangen woman of Albor. Died sixteen years after the Upheaval.
Sleepers, the—A cult of the Duamel that worships the goddess Eirine.
Souldern—Once the northernmost territory of the Arpa Empire, now free. Homeland of Nisien and Ittrid.
Stormbringers—Those among the Winterborn who can manipulate the weather.
Thray—Daughter of Sixnit and Ogam, niece to Hessa, Imnir, and Nisien. Cousin to Yske, Berin, and Uspa. Half-sister of Vistic on her mother’s side. Half-sister to the Winterborn on her father’s side.
Thvynder (Th-vin-der)—One of the Four Pillars of the World, an ancient and original deity of creation and order, represented to the Eangen, Algatt, and Arpa peoples by the Watchman Omaskat and the Vestige Vistic.
Upheaval, the—The series of events that brought about the end of Miri worship in Algatt, Eangen, and Arpa, and led to the reawakening of Thvynder.
Ulmen—Seera’s young brother, son of Uspa and Sillo. Cousin to Yske and Berin.
Ursk—A Duamel Priest of Fate, a Dreamer Priest.
Uspa (Oos-pah)—Heir to the High Priesthood of the Eangen, wife of Sillo, mother of Seera, Ulmen, and others. Adopted daughter of Imnir and Hessa.
V–Z
Vist—First husband of Sixnit, mother of Vistic. An Eangi in service to Eang prior to his death during the Upheaval.
Vistic—Son of Sixnit and her first husband, Vist. Vestige of Thvynder and bearer of a piece of the God’s immortal soul, though he himself is mortal.
Vynder (Vin-der)—Priests and priestesses of the god Thvynder.
Widow root—An ingredient in yifr.
Windwalkers—Those of Ogam’s children who possess his ability to move with and control the winter wind.
Winter (person)—An Elemental spirit, counterpart to Summer, capable of taking human form. Father to Ogam, lover of Eang, and grandfather to Thray and the Winterborn.
Winterborn, the—Ogam’s children.
Woodmaidens—Female beings of the forest and trees, related to Miri.
Yifr—A drink that the Eangen and Algatt High Priesthood use to travel spiritually to the High Halls of the Dead.
