Unchained Potential (The Whispering Crystals: A LitRPG Series Book 4), page 37
[In your batch? It was Zig, I believe—pretentious douche. Ah, you would only know his host, Calyx. Both the judges and the audience were very impressed with their green eye and gilded skin. I guess that sort of ‘exotic’ look is well-liked, for they received top marks in nearly all categories. I bet the organisation was quite unhappy they ended up making it to the tournament, and thus became ineligible for auction.]
I quietly pinch myself, on the off-chance I’m dreaming. It hurts. We’re screwed, aren’t we?
I close my eye and rub my forehead for a moment. “Suri... do hosts have any kind of legal status in Peilor society?”
[No... not really,] Suri chimes quietly.
We’re so screwed.
[If it’s any consolation, however,] Suri quickly chimes, [your name will certainly go down in history. After all, this will be the first time a Peilor was ever promoted from Solith to Lustrous in a single bound! The upper class will bristle at it, of course, and try to find some way to oust me from their ranks—they certainly tried hard enough to sabotage me along the way—but that’s all part of the game. What matters is that I’m a player now, someone who matters.]
I open my eye wide and look up at her. “So they were targeting me! That impact on Big Bortha—”
[Not an accident, no,] Suri chimes. [And that thing you dubbed ‘Spider-Troll’ certainly exceeded the conventional limitations set for that Trial. There’s always some of the higher society entering these competitions, you see. They often don’t even do it to climb, just to block others from rising. And of course, they get all kinds of preferential treatment, including the best hosts—brutes like Bruce and Steve, ruthless ones like Dominique and Avalan.]
“What, so I ranked as dirt?” I ask, annoyed despite myself.
[Well, you’ve certainly proven them wrong, haven’t you?] Suri chimes. [Oh, Lio—the Peilor who received Bruce—threw such a fit after Starmother’s decision! He’s on the Council of Stars, you see, and frankly, I suspect he’s the one after the attempts at sabotage during the Seventh and Eighth Trials, though I can’t prove it yet... Either way, there’s no need for you to worry about him; after the ceremony I’ll be of equal status to him, and more than capable of keeping you safe.]
That concern was honestly the furthest thing from my mind, but Suri doesn’t seem to realise it.
[Anyway, I know Lio manipulated things behind the scenes to help Bruce win the Hub Two lottery, that sort of thing is just par for the course with those snobs.]
I blink. “Didn’t Samuel... oh.”
[Suddenly decide to cheat, on his behalf?] Suri chimes dryly. [Exactly.]
My heart stutters. “Did you—did you manipulate me into feeling things for—”
[Oh, Starmother, no,] Suri chimes with a chuckle. [Samuel was probably picked because of his feelings. I was quite annoyed by your fascination with Kaitlynn. It led to some really hare-brained decisions on your part, too. Well, I suppose it all worked out in the end.]
I fall quiet for a moment, relieved at this revelation.
For a moment, I inanely wonder how much is left of my five minutes. I smile wanly. “Say Suri, be honest... that rule of allowing only five minutes of questions, was that—”
[Just so that you wouldn’t bore us to death with endless questions?] Suri finishes for me. [Of course it was, Emma. Of course it was. Is there anything else you’d like to know?]
Honestly, the only thing I want right now is to collapse into Kaitlynn’s arms and pretend this is all a bad dream. “Suri, where’s Kaitlynn? Can I please go see her? I need to process all of this.”
[Ah... Yes, well, I’m afraid that might prove a little difficult, Emma,] Suri chimes apologetically. [I mean, I’m not principally opposed to giving you that kind of free reign for a bit, but my schedule is going to be pretty full for the coming time, with the promotion and all that. Moreover, I’d have to schedule a moment with Kai in which he would also be willing to allow Kaitlynn to act on her own. Finally, it might actually be better if we held off on that sort of thing for some time. My sudden rise in Tier is bound to bring a lot of scrutiny after all, and any sign of a lack of control over my host would be considered a grievous faux pas that could result in my demotion.]
I don’t reply, staring at my reflection. At the socket that should contain an eye. At the purple tint of my skin. At the apparently pointless, completely decorative horns.
[You know, the more I think about it, the more I get the feeling that our society isn’t quite equipped to deal with hosts as intelligent as humans,] Suri chimes thoughtfully, like she’s revealing the result of some controversial epiphany. [Maybe that’s something I could try to start bringing about change in. Perhaps the Council could be persuaded to elect a committee on the issue, for example. I mean, the smartest host species we discovered before you humans were the Hoig, and they’re not exactly thrilling conversational partners.]
When even that doesn’t elicit a reaction from me, Suri sighs.
[Well, this conversation was about as horrible as I expected,] Suri chimes wistfully. [And to think I once started out thinking it might be fun to at last reveal everything. Well, don’t worry; you’ll feel much better once I’ve done some quick work on your mind.]
CHAPTER 49
Breaking the mould
“What?” I ask, stunned, her words finally snapping me out of my daze. “No! Stay out of my head, Suri!”
It’s not that I didn’t see this coming; it’s basically been my biggest fear for a while now and the reason I’ve been working on finding ways to resist mind control. But still, the casual way Suri announces her imminent, ultimate betrayal, is... it’s too much. Too much to comprehend, all at once.
[Calm down, Emma. It’s a simple procedure, and I’ve done this many times before,] Suri chimes in what I’m sure is meant to be a reassuring tone. [It’s just to make you feel more at ease, content to follow instructions, and make sure you never suffer from boredom.]
“No amount of sugar-coating is going to make a psychic lobotomy sound appetising to me, Suri!” I bite back through gritted teeth.
[You know, back in the day, Peilor would force obedience through pain and fear,] Suri chimes. [Would you rather I try that? Because I think you’ll find our current methods far more pleasing than those barbaric practices. Honestly, it won’t take but a minute, and you’ll feel much better once I’m done. Well, it’ll feel like a minute to you, anyway.]
“It’s not about how you try to control me, Suri, it’s that you try that’s the issue! What gives your people the right to enslave members of another sapient species?!”
[The right?] Suri repeats, sounding confused, like she’s never even considered such a question before. [It has nothing to do with rights; riding on hosts is simply what we do, it’s our way of life. I admit we’ve never had hosts quite as intelligent as humans before, but like I’ve said, you’ll be perfectly content, never suffering for a moment. Isn’t it, frankly, far better than your species’ habit of putting other species in tiny cages, only to later kill and eat them and their offspring?]
I sputter. “Just because there are worse crimes, that doesn’t make what you’re doing okay!”
[I can tell this discussion is going nowhere,] Suri chimes. [I’m sorry, Emma. I know you don’t see it right now, but this is for your own good. You’ll just have to trust me.]
“Like hell I have to!” I snarl at her in my reflection, my hands balling into fists, even as I frantically go over my options.
I could try to rip her out, but that didn’t go so hot last time... also, even if I somehow succeeded, she could probably just call for help, perhaps even Warp herself away—or back in!
A prickle erupts at the back of my eye socket, which I recognise as the sensation of Suri attempting to initiate a mind-meld.
I push back, but Suri is like a tide, rolling in inexorably.
I will my arm to rise and snatch her, but I’m paralysed, the signals travelling through my Lavi dissipating like waves on a beach.
With my panic rising, and my path to the Realm of Imagination still blocked, I react more or less instinctively and do something I’ve never done before.
I attempt to flee my own body.
I do so by conjuring an image of myself elsewhere in the room, and pushing all of my Espir into it at once.
For a moment, there’s a sense of resistance, then something clicks and it fades away, along with all of the sensations coming from my physical body, including the prickling at my optic nerve.
It is a most peculiar thing, to be looking at myself from behind.
It is stranger still when my physical body jerks, and turns around with stiff, robotic movements, my face a blank mask.
I can’t believe that worked!
Suri once warned me to never push more than half of my Espir Pool out at once, told me it was dangerous. I never forgot about that, of course, and while I couldn’t test it, I’d long theorised that doing so might allow my consciousness to leave my body, the way it does when I Visit the Realm of Imagination.
Basically, I kept it in the back of my head as a final Hail Mary against mind control, which I’d sincerely hoped to never have to try. And it actually worked!
[Emma, what are you doing?] Suri’s voice chimes in bafflement, the conjured sound almost visibly radiating off of Suri in waves of Espir. [I realise you’re upset, but do my warnings mean so little to you? If you leave your body like that and run out of Espir, you will cease to exist! Please, just do me a favour and come back!]
An angry retort dies on my Imaginary lips at her final words, and for a moment, I can feel myself considering her suggestion.
No! Hell no! What am I thinking, and why am I... wait, those waves of Espir just now...
‘You bitch,’ I grind out through Imaginary teeth. ‘That was a trigger sentence, wasn’t it? “Do me a favour.” Is that how you’ve been gently guiding me?!’
[We were afforded some subtle means; it was all well within the rules,] Suri chimes defensively. [I can see that you’re very distressed right now, Emma, but might I suggest it’s not worth risking your life over?]
‘What, the lovely life you’re offering me as a slave?’ I scoff, folding my Imaginary arms over my Imaginary chest. ‘A mindless friggin’ drone?!’
Even as I talk to her, I consider my options.
It seems that my conjecture about the mind-meld requiring physical contact to establish was correct. However, I know it can exist outside my body as well, as I noticed Suri using it to keep me from Fading during Skilldreams.
[You won’t be mindless, Emma,] Suri exclaims, sounding frustrated. [You’ll just be... content with your position! You’ll have a wonderful, happy life, I’ll make sure of that! I’ll—I’ll make sure you get to see Kaitlynn regularly!]
For the first time since Suri started about mind control, I waver, as the idea of never seeing Kaitlynn again crashes into me.
[Is it really so important to you to be in charge?] Suri continues, her chimes turning sweeter and gentler. [I mean, from what I’ve seen—and what you’ve told me about your past—you’re not exactly great at making decisions that lead to your personal happiness. Face it, you’re a great driver, but you really shouldn’t be planning the route. Especially when it comes to Kaitlynn.]
She’s... right. For a moment, I teeter on the edge, Imaginary tears forming in my Imaginary eyes. I’ve messed up so many times with Kaitlynn... is leaving her behind like this going to be my final one?
Suddenly, a strange sense of awareness comes over me, part of my mind screaming at me that I’m being manipulated.
I finally recognise the insidious waves of Espir pulsing through the Aether: Suri is using Charm.
As soon as I realise this, waves of renewed fear and fury wash through me and help me fight off her compulsion.
Time to get out of here, before she tries something else!
In the end, since I don’t know what’s behind the walls, floor, or ceiling, the choice of exit is obvious. I sweep my tail and fly straight for the window.
However, just before I can reach it, I feel a strange pain, as something yanks me back.
I turn to find my body somehow physically grabbing the chain that connects it to my spirit, and holding it taut.
Shit! If Suri’s aware of that thing, then even if I make it to the Realm of Imagination, she could just follow it and drag me back!
[I’m growing quite tired of your little rebellion, Emma,] Suri chimes. [Do you truly not realise it is as futile as it is dangerous? It’s honestly impressive that you’ve managed to raise your Mental Fortitude to 17—]
I knew it! I did gain another point!
[—but it still falls well short of my Willpower. So, will you be coming back willingly, or will I have to force you?]
Her... Willpower? What does that have to do with—
My eyes widen as it clicks, as the final piece of the puzzle slots into place.
That’s it! Charm and Radiance aren’t the only mental stats that can be used actively! If you apply Espir to Willpower, you can project it to try to control someone... and if you apply it to Mental Fortitude...
You can defend against Mind Control.
[Please don’t make me force you, Emma,] Suri chimes, more soothing waves of Charm coming off her. [It’s a distasteful thing, and I’m not sure your mind would be able to handle it in its current, fragile state. You won’t be much good to Kaitlynn as a vegetable, so believe me when I say it would be better for everyone if you just—]
It’s now or never. I draw myself up fully. ‘Your concern is very sweet, Suri, but I’d like to see you try.’
Suri shakes my head with jerky movements. [I suppose I should’ve seen that coming. Very well.]
Even as she speaks, I’m already turning part of my attention inwards. I’m very practised with activating my Charm, of course, but my Mental Fortitude is an entirely separate thing. However, I’ve had enough experience with feeling the stat go up by now to know in what corner of my mind to look for it.
And indeed, I find a well of strength inside of me that feels like mountains and deep-rooted, unbending trees. And as Suri lights up in front of me, I recklessly pour in Espir.
[YOU WISH TO RETURN TO YOUR BODY,] she chimes grandly.
The waves of controlling Espir wash over me. I grit my Imaginary teeth and focus on remaining unmoved, still in the face of her assault.
Part of me wants to return to the safety of my body. A larger part of me tells it to go to hell.
The waves pass. ‘No, I don’t,’ I tell Suri, triumphant.
My physical body freezes entirely. [You—when did you learn..? Emma, you can’t go on burning Espir like that, you’re really going to die!]
For the first time, a sense of panic enters Suri’s voice.
‘You really don’t get it, do you?’ I ask, shaking my head. ‘I’d much rather die than live the rest of my life as a zombie.’
And with those words, I conjure a knife.
Closing my eyes, I spare a thought for my blue angel. I’m sorry, Kaitlynn. I do love you, so so much, but that’s why right now... I’ve got to let you go.
My knife flashes through the Aether... and smashes into my chain.
Pain rockets through me at the contact, and the chain rattles as it’s pushed aside, but it doesn’t break.
[Emma, stop that!] Suri yells. [What you’re trying to do is not even possible!]
I frown at the chain, then look back up at her and shake my head. ‘You’re thinking according to the laws of the Yin-Yang Realm, Suri. Espir isn’t from here, it follows the rules of the Realm of Imagination. Anything is possible there. You just need to believe.’
Suri starts moving my physical body toward me in jerky steps, making very little progress.
I look back down at the chain that’s always accompanied me to the Realm of Imagination. Except it’s not really a chain at all, that’s just how I see it. It’s nothing but a connection, a tether. It might as well be a piece of string.
I raise my knife a second time, and this time I swing it at the thin piece of string connecting me to my body. At the same time, in a flash of inspiration, I dive into a different corner of my mind, where I find a section that’s like a roiling ball of molten steel that feels like crossing the finish line of a marathon by running through a brick wall.
My Willpower, obviously.
I immediately pour in some Espir, and the molten steel lights up. A burning, restless fore erupts from it, which I direct into my knife.
As the now-glowing implement hits the tether, blinding, white-hot pain racks my whole ethereal body—like the worst migraine I could imagine—but with the help of my Willpower, I push through.
In front of me, my physical body spasms, apparently feeling it too.
Then, with a feeling like the crack of a whip, the connection snaps.
I suddenly feel a lot lighter, like a balloon in the wind. A deflating balloon, as I’ve by now already expended half of my Espir.
It’s a dizzying, disorienting experience, but I have no time to linger on it.
I quickly seek out the connection to the toy ship I left in the Realm of Imagination more than two weeks ago.
It’s still there. Good.
[Emma, do you have any idea what you’ve done?!] Suri cries out in disbelief, as she regains control over my body somewhat.
‘Yeah,’ I reply. ‘I just severed my puppet strings.’
With that, I close my eyes, push some of my precious remaining Espir into my pool of Mental Fortitude, and pull on the connection.
As always, memories of a bird’s life erupt within me and attempt to drown me in sorrow. However, the barrage feels weaker than it used to, having been activated so many times.
Moreover, my Mental Fortitude is stronger than ever, and now that I’ve finally figured out how to use it to actively resist the sensations, I find I’m capable of letting them wash over me without being moved.
The memories are still sad, but I’ve lived this life over and over. It was a good life, and that’s more than many get.
