Lewd Dungeon, page 2
At that moment, the talismans, which had all been idle to that point, activated. No one attuned to mana would be able to miss the way that the flows were changing, focusing on this point. Quickly, Rie got off the headmistress, and let go of her. Even as Ietsuna pulled his pants back on, he saw Moriya begin to float up, screaming and thrashing as she was physically lifted into the air by the object in her womb, with no regards to the fact that the human form does not care for being lifted that way.
Ietsuna took Rie’s hand, and ran, pulling his slave along behind him. A locking spell was triggered, every door in the building save for the front door. It wouldn’t hold anyone long, but it would hold them long enough. Those trapped inside wouldn’t have time to interfere, or escape.
Outside, they saw the school gate open, with Eba sullenly standing there, waiting, just as he commanded her to. Together, they ran out of the gate, and shut it behind them. They didn’t stop running until they were two blocks away, even as they felt the mana behind them reach a critical mass, and the ritual was completed.
Ietsuna simply smiled, as he led his two slaves back to the house he lived in, with his harem. No one questioned him when they got home. After all, his mother and father had died in the first days of the Apocalypse, and his little sister was one of his slaves. Once more, he gave thanks to Lord Kuronoth for his great fortune.
Chapter 282 – In the Dungeon
“NO! Not like this!”
It was always amusing to see someone ‘enjoying’ their first time with Captain Hentai. Although the Slime Lord had long been established as part of the first floor, to the point where every guidebook available in Swamptown or online had detailed strategies for dealing with him, he still managed to get his prey, now and then. Sometimes even a team of veterans with many successful dives in my dungeon would slip up, thinking that they already had these fights down, so they didn’t need to worry. They soon realized the error of their ways, of course, and they typically were high level enough that they could purge the slimes before they birthed, so long as they had a healer in the party, so it merely served as an object lesson in maintaining a healthy level of paranoia and respect towards the dangers of the dungeon.
There were even some individuals who used Captain Hentai as a sort of initiation for new members. Well, the new female members, at least. The Seeder Bushes down on the second floor were what they used for the men. Either way, for some established parties, this was their way of bringing new members into the fold.
However, today it was neither of those situations. Today, there was a party of complete newbies to the dungeon. Oh, they weren’t actually new adventurers. Each of them was level 30 in Tier 1, which was respectable enough to get through the first few floors. They were experienced adventurers, but they weren’t experienced with MY dungeon.
They had, at least, paid attention to the warnings about traps, and had managed to disarm the traps that had any harmful effects. Like most groups, they simply let the ‘stripping field’ trap in the early part of the floor hit them. Once it was proven to be harmless, the adventurers just accepted a bit of embarrassment and having to go naked to the other end of the hall a better deal than wasting energy or resources on avoidance, especially if they’d managed to avoid getting dosed with Enflaming Gas so far.
Unfortunately for them, they had not been ready for a couple additions I’d made to the floor. The Breeding Halls and my other experiments had given me new results, and I felt compelled to share them, after all. Sure, these versions were still only as dangerous as what had been on the floor before, but variety was important.
The Lewd Assassin Vine was exactly like it sounded, a version of the simple Assassin Vine that sought out living creatures, and penetrated them as it tried to squeeze the life from them. The vine also leaked a mild paralytic, based off Captain Hentai’s slime, which made it hard for victims to free themselves. Some quirk of the vines made them always keyed to males, though. Hadn’t figured out what caused that, but I still put them out on the floor, since most of my monsters, at that point, only caused physical damage to men, not emotional damage. And you couldn’t break someone down in order to get them to make deals with you if their spirit was intact.
The second new addition was the Ghost Slime. These nasties were incorporeal, which meant that nonmagical weapons were useless against them (and even magical weapons missed half the time, unless they were specifically made to hit incorporeal foes), and they could hide inside physical objects. They attacked by literally passing through the target, dealing psychic damage to the creature they hit. The damage didn’t actually affect their HP, but it could decrease their WIS, making them more vulnerable to other effects, like charms and compulsions. Too much, and they descended into a nightmare-filled sleep that they couldn’t wake from until they recovered, either naturally or through magic. Fortunately, both for the adventurers and my goal of keeping the dungeon ‘fair’, the Ghost Slimes were very weak to magic, so a simple spell could end one easily enough, even at low levels.
Individually, those threats weren’t much. However, when the party of two men and three women met Captain Hentai, they were already in a rather difficult situation. Ghost Slimes had hit their Priest, hampering his ability to cast healing magic on himself. It was a quirk of the system that casting magic which restored your own attributes had minimum attribute requirements in order to cast them. The Ghost Slimes had just barely dropped the Priest below that threshold, so, despite the fact he could heal the rest of the party, he would have to rest a while to be able to heal himself.
This wouldn’t normally be that big a problem, but a Passionslime got him while he was distracted by Throsk, the Lewd Lizardman, grabbing the female Fighter for some playtime. Not thinking with anything but his dick, he grabbed the Wind Sorceress, so he could ‘relieve himself’. The others didn’t even notice, and kept chasing after Throsk and their friend.
The male Rogue also was too focused on the hunt for the lizardman that stole his wife to notice when One of Captain Hentai’s tentacles lashed out from the bushes behind him, and grabbed the female Monk by the ankle. Her resistance to toxins allowed her the time to say those few words before the paralysis set in, and Captain Hentai dragged her into the trees. Her face was frozen in a look of horror as the tentacles began pushing into her clothes, forcing their way inside of her. But there was nothing she could do.
In the end, the entire party had been abused and violated. The Fighter, Wind Sorceress, and Monk all needed purification potions. The Priest was going to need regeneration to regrow certain… bits that were removed by the Wind Blade spell of an angry sorceress. Even the Rogue did not escape unscathed, as he ventured too close to a Lewd Assassin Vine. He managed to kill it before it could choke the life out of him, but the gaping hole in the seat of his pants and the pained way he was walking said all that needed to be said about what else happened while the vine had him in its clutches.
The Monk, their leader, showed how experienced the team was by ordering a retreat. They were all tired, hurting, and in need of healing. Moreover, their team was barely more than a team in name only at the moment, so they needed to rest, regroup, and go over what happened, so that they didn’t make the same mistakes again. Pushing forward would only lead to their death, or worse, so they retreated, to fight another day.
All in all, it had been a rather abysmal showing for the new party. Entertaining for me, certainly, but abysmal for them. They were from Nebraska, not Florida, and it seemed that the dungeon nearest them took the form of a corn maze, with invisible barriers keeping people from walking through the walls of corn. The maze of maize changed every time, but it was not like a swamp, where trees and undergrowth meant that there was no one singular path. They clearly needed more exposure to different types of dungeons, but knowing when to back down meant they’d probably live to get it.
Turning my attention away from them, I focused on my own little shifting maze, the ever-changing labyrinth of Goblin Town. This was another level that, while not incredibly difficult for high-level adventurers, could still mess people up if they got careless, or started taking things easy. The reason for that was that the goblins were clever, and vicious little trap-makers.
My favorite little invention of theirs was the ‘The Lord’s Horny Spike Pit Trap’. The trap had several parts, all working together. First, you had a long hallway, where the floor tiles all had letters on them. To get across the hallway, you had to go, tile to tile, spelling out the phrase ‘OH LORD KURONOTH PENETRATE ME’. The phrase was written over the archway coming into the room, so that much was easy enough.
Of course, if you went too fast, the room teleported you back to the start, but changed your direction so that you were likely to go face-first into a wall. On the other hand, if you got one wrong, a panel opened in the side wall, allowing a Seeder Bush to try and grab them, and pull them inside, with every wrong step opening another panel, and allowing another Seeder Bush to try and get the prey. And yet, going too slowly wasn’t an option, either, as from the moment someone stepped on the first K, they had 120 seconds exactly to get to the other end, before a barrier blocked the end, and dropped the unfortunate adventurer into the spiked pit thirty feet below. All of that meant that you needed to concentrate and move fast, but not too fast, while ensuring you didn’t make any mistakes.
The third part of the trap was that goblins made liberal use of Enflaming Gas to make concentrating on footwork difficult. On Hardcore mode, the tiles were also slick with grease, making footwork absolutely essential, too. And all the while, on either mode, a goblin on a ledge above would hurl insults (and sometimes more than insults) at the person crossing, and enchantments of Magic Suppression made using any spells or magical abilities difficult, if not impossible, for anyone not part of the dungeon. Obviously, this cut down on the possibilities for cheating.
It was a devilish trap, but the reward for successfully completing it (aside from opening a teleport back to the start of the room) was always a token that would allow the party holding it to skip one floor boss fight in the dungeon. If a party of five all succeeded in the challenge, then that was five boss fights that they wouldn’t need to do! And I made sure that they would still get a chest with loot, even if they skipped the fight that way. After all, they’d have earned it.
Those who failed the challenge, and survived, found that the spikes, in addition to being rather painful, were also coated in Passionslime Jelly. By the time a survivor managed to get off the spikes, they’d be so horny they could barely see straight enough to find that the pit’s walls tilted inwards and were completely smooth, making climbing impossible without magic, which was still being suppressed. All of this made it all the more important for their friends to help them get out of there, as that was when the ‘cleaning crew’ of goblins would come in through a side door, and offer to ‘help’.
By this point, the victim would typically be willing to do anything for relief, and the goblins knew it. So, they would all have a turn with the victim, while they healed them of their wounds. Then, they’d be carted off to the Breeding Halls, and not released until they’d produced some creature for the dungeon. Anyone who survived the fall long enough to get captured survived, and was released when their time in the halls was done, with no physical signs of trauma. The mental trauma, though, was a whole different thing.
Currently, there had been 458 attempts, with 159 successes. Of the failures, there were only 37 deaths. 190 people managed to get pulled out by the rest of their party, while the remaining 72 spent time in the Breeding Halls anywhere from a day to months, depending on what they got paired up with.
I was watching a Monk attempting the challenge for the first time. He was good. He’d clearly practiced in the ‘simulator’ on the edge of Swamptown, where someone had set up a 1:1 replica of the challenge, with the only difference being that the pit was only 10 feet deep, and had no spikes. The guild had asked permission to build it, but, after attempts on the challenge room went up 25% in the first month the thing was made, I took the liberty of sending some of the goblins up to ensure that it was true to life, complete with goblin taunts.
The monk got ahead of himself, though, and went a little too fast. In a flash of light, he was back at the beginning. He could try and start again, of course, but would he be able to get the timing next time? Honestly, I never tired of watching my adventurers. They were—
I frowned as a flurry of alerts hit me. Silver Mercy was sending me a message through the DEN. Seidai Myōjin, the Shinto god of sports, was trying to get in touch through GodNet. And the Ambassador was sending me a message through more conventional means. Clearly, something had just happened, and I had a good idea as to what. Now, I just needed to come up with a nice way to explain things that wouldn’t make me the bad guy.
Chapter 283 – Preparations
Checking the messages, they were, as I suspected, all about the same thing. It was a little early, but I guessed that my young worshipper decided it was better to fulfill his contractual obligations earlier rather than waiting until the last moment. I could respect that. It was the kind of hustle I drilled into students back when I was a coach, before the System turned me into a Dungeon.
Since all three were about the same incident, it made sense to speak to all three groups at once. That way, I wouldn’t have to go over the same information more than once. Of course, bringing in multiple parties meant that there was more of a chance that they could team up against me. However, since I hadn’t done anything wrong, there was nothing they could actually do to me, even if all three joined forces. Not unless they wanted to incite a war, which I doubted they wanted.
Oh, sure, there were ways where I might look a bit at fault, if you looked at the situation, but there was a difference between my being the cause of something, and my doing anything wrong. Especially when you looked at the boundaries of what the System and different groups set up as being criminal acts. And, even then, I existed in a grey space, as I was both a dungeon and a god, which allowed me to do things that were normally impossible simply as a matter of course, all with the System’s help. I was a living loophole in so many rules that one had to either laugh, or cry.
So, holding a summit of some sort was the obvious solution. It would allow me to address concerns of anyone involved, and I could also get a read on different individuals who might be upset with me, some of whom I might not know were even involved until they made themselves known. For instance, I hadn’t even considered the existence of the Japanese God of Sports before this message came through. It was fine, in this case, where I could legitimately say I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but future events might be harder to spin my way, and having a solid grasp of the players beforehand may pose all the difference.
The problem with this obvious solution is that it involved bringing two groups that had very good reasons for remaining behind a veil of secrecy into direct contact with mortals. There was a limit to how active gods and dungeons could be, after all, without bringing problems down on everyone. Well, actually, the main problem would be dealing with dungeons. I didn’t want to do anything stupid, like Iahab did, and put myself on the wrong side of the rules I helped write, after all.
System contracts could be used to make a non-disclosure agreement that the System itself would enforce. That much was known. I was sure that I could get the Ambassador, and any other mortals who were brought into the meeting, to agree to that. Getting Silver Mercy to agree would take a little bit of talking, but I figured she would agree, especially if I agreed to hold the summit on her grounds, so she would have the home-field advantage. The problem was the god, and any others that sought to enter the summit. Getting them to agree to the contract would be problematic, at best. Gods did not enjoy being restricted or tied down. Well, some did, but only in the bedroom. I was the last one to kink shame others, after all.
At any rate, my first job was to reach out to the god, and convince him to sign the contract. Moreover, I needed to ensure that he didn’t do anything… untoward to anyone else at the meeting. One could never tell with gods, after all.
GodNet Private Messaging Service
SportGod
Newborn god from a distant land, this Seidai Myōjin of Japan sends welcome, though with a troubled heart. It is known to us that you, through Son Goku, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, were the one to connect all of the Gods of Earth to this System, and the GodNet which allows for communication with gods from across the galaxy. However, we worry that your exploits may have gotten you too in tune with the Monkey King’s ways, especially when one considers the recent events in the Niigata Prefecture of Japan. It is this one’s hope that this is merely a cultural misunderstanding, brought on by ancient ways mixing with the modern world. In light of that, this one respectfully invites you to speak of these events, kami to kami, so that the misunderstanding might be corrected before any other of the gods of Japan learn of these things.
Pleasurable Domination
Lord Seidai, it is with pleasure that I, Kuronoth, Demon God of Pleasure, Domination, and Dungeons, receive your message. I know of the events of which you speak, and would be glad to offer a full accounting of my actions, and the reasons for them. However, as you may know, time is a fleeting thing, even for gods, and so, if I were to speak on this subject, I would do so before all those interested parties at once, so as to not have to retread the same ground again and again. Therefore, I propose a meeting, where select parties may come together, and hear this all at once.
