Coffee Sonata, page 27
“Faith!” Manon gasped and then had to laugh. “You’re just as impossible as you were twenty years ago!”
“I know,” Faith replied, sounding pleased.
Manon sat in silence. Her thoughts whirled, and a strange sort of peace began to spread as part of her surrendered and her ever-analytical mind stirred into action.
“Tell me about her,” Faith said, and reached for her mug of steaming black coffee. “I want to know everything about the woman who’s managed to penetrate your defenses in a few short weeks.”
“Describe her?” Manon hid behind her own large mug. “I wish I could do her justice. Honest and up-front. Loyal, friendly, brave. She’s been an out lesbian for a long time.”
“Gutsy. Go on.”
“Red hair, green eyes, freckles. And she’s all about giving hugs. She seems to thrive on them. She’s good at comforting, and the way she looks at me when she listens, her head slightly tilted and her eyes narrowing…I could go on talking forever just to have her look at me that way…” Manon quieted and stared into her coffee mug.
After a while she slowly raised her head and peeked at Faith, who sipped her coffee and obviously waited for her to say something.
Manon nodded thoughtfully. “All right, Faith. All right. Now I know what to do.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
The doorbell rang and Eryn jumped up from her desk, hit her head on the desktop lamp, and cursed as she rushed to the door, rubbing her temple. Manon! She’s back. She flung the door open with a smile.
“Hello. I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by and pick up the toaster Sandy lent you. Now that she’s moving to Newport, she’s going to need it.”
“Hello, Mom.” Eryn sighed and let Harriet Goddard in. She hadn’t seen her mother in over three months, which was pretty remarkable since they lived in the same town. “Sandy gave me the toaster as a housewarming present when I moved here.” Which is more than you did, Mother dear. “I haven’t changed the place much since Aunt Amanda lived here, but you’re welcome to look around. I think I’ll repaint the bathroom soon and install a shower.”
“Sounds good,” Harriet said, and hung up her coat. She fiddled with the hem of her blouse for a second. “I really didn’t come about the toaster.”
“I didn’t think so. Want some coffee?” Eryn motioned toward the kitchen and refused to let the image of Manon sitting on her floor bother her.
“No, thank you, sweetheart. My doctor says I should stick to tea.”
Sweetheart? Doctor? Eryn stopped and pivoted so quickly she almost knocked her mother over. “What? Are you sick?”
“Just a small ulcer, actually. Nothing to worry about. If you don’t have tea, I’ll just have a glass of water.”
“No, no. I have tea. Several kinds. Take your pick.” Eryn guided Harriet over to one of the cabinets where her mother examined the five boxes. “They’re from Sea Stone Café, all of them,” she remarked. “Isn’t that run by a friend of yours? That tall, dark girl?”
“Yes, Mike Stone.”
“That’s right.” Harriet pointed at the box in the middle. “Chai tea. That’s what everybody raves about at the church meetings.”
Eryn had to laugh. “They rave at the church meetings. Sounds like you have a lot of fun.”
To her surprise, Harriet returned the laugh with a smile. “We have more fun there than you could imagine. Don’t sell us short, Eryn.”
“Okay, if you’ll return the favor.”
“I heard you quit your job at the paper. After having a steady job there for so many years…what possessed you?”
“A chance of a lifetime to do what I’ve dreamed of.”
“Doing what?”
“You really have no idea what my dreams are, do you, Mom?” Eryn sighed unhappily. “You know that Sandy wanted to travel all over Asia and Kelly wanted to be a professional dancer.”
“Neither of them has done any of that.”
“That’s not the point. You knew them so well but never took the time to ask me what I wanted.”
“I knew you wanted to play that guitar of yours.”
“You knew that only because I made so much noise rehearsing in the garage with my friends. But that wasn’t my dream, not all of it, anyway.”
Harriet took a deep breath and appeared to brace herself. “Then tell me now.”
A childish part of her, immature and vengeful, wanted to refuse and say, “You snooze, you lose,” but Eryn told herself to grow up. “I want to be a serious writer, a biographer, a novelist. I love words as much as I love music. I want to reach people with what I write, to touch their hearts. Same goes for my music.”
“Oh, my.” Harriet sighed and sank down on a kitchen chair.
Eryn made tea for both of them, and neither spoke until she sat down at the kitchen table, facing her mother. On opposite sides as always. Yet she’s different. She’s here alone. When did that happen last? If ever?
“It used to upset me that Sandy and Kelly got away with so many things when we were teenagers. I was the perfect child in every aspect but one, and I was always in the doghouse, no matter what.” It was time for the truth, Eryn could feel it.
“You’re right. You were.”
Eryn’s breath caught in her throat and she coughed before she drank her tea. “I’m glad you’re not denying it,” she managed. “We can’t change the past.”
“I thought it was a phase, something you’d grow out of. You were so young and easily the brightest of you girls. And when you told your father and me, I…I couldn’t accept it.” Sorrowfully Harriet shook her head. “You’ll never give me grandchildren, a little girl or boy with your good looks and your sharp mind.” Tears clung to Harriet’s eyelashes.
“Is that it? Is that why you’ve never accepted that I’m gay? That can’t possibly be it! What if I married a guy and was unable to have children because of a physical defect? That wouldn’t have made you turn your back on me, would it?” Eryn tried to force herself to calm down.
“No, it wasn’t just that. People at church were asking how and when your father and I were going to reel that wild girl of ours in. What you are goes against my faith, and my upbringing…and it’s taken me until now to even be able to talk about it.”
Honesty had replaced the cold shoulders and dismissal. Eryn reached out across the table, realizing maybe she had pushed her mother too fast. “I can understand where you’re coming from, and I don’t want you to go against your faith.”
Harriet covered the hand with hers and squeezed it gently. “You don’t?”
“No. I do want you to love me like a mother loves her child, no matter what. That way, I can learn to trust in your love, and perhaps Dad’s, since he always follows in your steps. And maybe then I can live with the fact that you still have issues with homosexuality, but not with me. And as for grandchildren…with today’s technology, it isn’t out of the question. So perhaps. One day.” Would Manon want to have children? Eryn closed her eyes. Will Manon want to take a chance on me?
“So you’re telling me that you respect my faith?” Harriet now reached out and held onto Eryn as if she couldn’t make herself let go.
She loves me. Mom loves me, and she’s hurt over her torn feelings all these years. She must’ve struggled with outrage and frustration, and I suffered because of it. “You know, Mom, maybe the church will eventually be more lenient about gay people. We’re all God’s creatures, and he made a certain number of us gay. Doesn’t that tell you something? I’m your daughter, Mom, not a product of the devil.”
Harriet broke into tears again and Eryn silently cursed herself for coming on too strong, as usual. She rose and quickly rounded the table. “Mom, I’m sorry.” Leaning down she hugged her mother for the first time in years.
“No, I’m sorry.” Her mother turned her face into Eryn’s sweatshirt. “I haven’t been a good mother. I’ve committed more sins than you ever will.”
“What are you talking about?” Eryn sank to her knees next to Harriet’s chair, her arms still loosely around her.
“Pride. It’s a powerful sin. And I’ve lied. I haven’t fully loved my neighbor, which entails you, Eryn. But mostly, my pride has been speaking.”
“And now?” Eryn hardly dared to ask; she felt as if she was walking on night-old ice.
“I don’t want us to go on the way we have. Sandy and Kelly have tried to talk to me about you so many times, and I’ve refused. But when I read the Chronicle this morning and—”
“And saw what? I’m in the paper?”
“Yes. Your old photographer wrote some very nice things about you to thank you for all your years at the paper. There was also an article about the Dodd celebration and a eulogy about Ms. Dodd. The article about the party had pictures and you were there, sitting at the head table.”
“Really? Wow.” Eryn didn’t know what else to say. “I had no idea anyone took pictures.”
“And when I saw that…I wanted to take the clippings to our women’s group at church and, well, brag about my daughter. And it hit me that I’ve had reason to brag about you many, many times, and I never have, because I resented…who…what you are.” Harriet hiccupped and wiped her tears with a tissue.
“Mom.” Eryn hugged Harriet again. “Maybe there’s hope for us. Do you think so?”
“I do. I do, Eryn. I’ve found the daughter I was so proud of so many years ago, and I want to get to know her all over again.”
Eryn returned to her chair. “This is really…something.” As much as she loved words, they failed her now.
“Do you have a…girlfriend?” Harriet asked, and Eryn had to smile at her mother’s attempt to sound casual.
“I’m not sure, Mom, but I’ve got my hopes up. I’ll know when she gets back from Boston.” Eryn’s heart ached. “It’s really scary, you know. If she decides to reject me…” She shrugged but knew her voice wavered and revealed her pain.
“If she does, whoever she is, then she’s a fool.” Harriet drank more tea.
Eryn laughed again, mostly to keep from crying. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“Who is she? Anybody I’ve heard of? Someone from your old school?”
“No, not at all.” It’s time for a leap of faith, but not quite yet. “If she dares to take a chance on me, I’ll be happy to introduce her, but I can’t break her trust. She isn’t out, you see.”
“Out? Oh, you mean she’s, how do you say, in the closet?”
“Very.” Eryn felt drained, but some of the fatigue felt good.
“Well, since you’re working from home now, I won’t keep you any longer, this time. I’ll come by later, perhaps next week?”
“Sure. And I can drop by the house too, you know. And…oh! Wait!” Eryn hurried into her study and rummaged around her desk. Finding what she was looking for, she returned to her mother, who now stood in the hallway, putting on her coat.
“Here, Mom. Two tickets to the Belmont Foundation Charity Concert on Saturday. You could never afford them, and neither could I, normally. I got them free. I thought I’d send one to Sandy and her boyfriend, and Kelly and Bob too. And Don and his wife, of course. That leaves one for me and one extra.”
“But won’t the charity lose out?” Harriet fingered the tickets. “That doesn’t seem right.”
“Oh, they’re bought and paid for with honest money that’s going directly to the hospital wing. And if it makes you feel better, you can donate what you can spare to the foundation. That’s what I’ll do.”
“Ah, that will mean extra money for them. Good idea.” Her mother nodded. “Your father will be pleased. He loves music.”
“I know he does. Does he know you’re here?”
“Yes.”
“Bring him next time.”
“Okay,” Harriet said, almost shyly. “See you Saturday, maybe. And next week.”
“Yes. We’ll be sitting together. Very good seats, actually.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Harriet hastily kissed Eryn’s cheeks. “Bye-bye.”
“Bye.”
Eryn listened until the sound of her mother’s steps quieted. Is this a sign that my life will change in more ways? I’m not sure I can handle any more surprises. Except one. Manon. Come back. This wait is killing me.
*
“He killed someone?” Vivian gasped and pulled Mike into a fierce embrace. “Oh, cara, my darling. How awful. For the person’s family. For you.”
“I didn’t know about it for a long time. Father died in prison when I was fourteen, and that’s when I learned the truth.” Mike buried her face against Vivian’s chest.
Mike’s hair smelled clean and of her sandalwood perfume. Familiar by now. “Tell me about it.”
Mike sobbed, a deep, painful sound. “According to the court papers, my father had left me home alone to go to the pub soon after I was released back into his care, to ‘celebrate’ with his friends. He drank quite a bit and then decided to drive home. It wasn’t very late, and he took a shortcut from the pub, and…and hit a boy on the bicycle path.”
“Oh, my God. And the boy was killed.”
“Yes, on impact, apparently. My father, drunk and out of it, left the scene and drove home. So not only did he kill the poor boy, but he left him there, didn’t even try to help. When the police came to arrest him, he insisted he didn’t even know he’d hit someone. He was that far gone. ”
Something in Vivian’s memory stirred, but she couldn’t place her finger on it. “So he was sentenced to prison.”
“Yes, since it was his third DUI, he got fifteen years. He died after six years in that place, from a heart attack.”
Vivian tried to warm Mike through her denim shirt as she stroked her in long, languid movements. She’d stopped shivering and felt delightfully heavy against Vivian’s breasts.
“And Brenda was trying to make you believe that you’ve inherited your father’s genes,” Vivian stated with a huff. “Granted, you can inherit the risk for alcoholism, but as for the rest of your father’s actions? No. You have nothing of that.”
Mike held on to Vivian. “Sometimes my past drives me nuts. I have the urge to hit something, sometimes,” Mike whispered. “I beat the drums. I mean, really hard.”
“That’s my point.” Vivian tipped Mike’s head back. “You beat the drums. Not a living being of any kind. Lifeless things.” She leaned down and kissed Mike. “There’s nothing wrong with you, cara. You’re amazing and have overcome hardships that most of us never even hear about. And you mean so much to me.”
She kissed Mike again. This time she parted her lips and entered Mike’s mouth with insistent softness. Mike answered the kiss, and Vivian hoped it washed away some of her fear, if not all.
Mike unbuttoned Vivian’s shirt and snuck a hand inside, cupped one of her abundant breasts and caressed it.
Vivian moaned aloud. “Oh, cara, you do the strangest, most wonderful things to me.” Then she kissed the top of Mike’s head. “You make me feel things…things I never thought I’d ever experience. Especially not now…” Now when everything else has fallen apart around me. You show me a new way. A new dream. Mike.
“You’re so beautiful. I want you, Vivian. I want to feel you against me.”
“Then undress me, my darling.” How easy it was to say. Remarkable. The affectionate word obviously wasn’t lost on Mike. The pulse at her temples pounded so hard Vivian could see it.
“I want to watch you.” Their closeness now obviously made Mike more daring too. “Every part of you, Vivi. You have such a sexy, wonderful body. I can’t get enough of it.”
Vivian jerked at Mike’s unexpected and arousing words, feeling the warmth of a deep blush on her cheeks. “Mike, darling, do whatever you want,” Vivian said breathlessly. “Let me just get undressed—”
“No, let me.” Mike moved back to reach the buttons farther down. She opened Vivian’s shirt completely, tugged it off her arms, and made it disappear. Vivian wore a lace bra that covered very little, which stole what little breath Mike still had. “I want to see everything,” she insisted and removed the bra with unsteady fingers.
“God, Mike.” Vivian arched into her touch when Mike took the nipples between her fingers and rolled them into firm peaks. “I want you so much it hurts. Don’t stop.” Desire, affection, nervousness, and an overshadowing tenderness toward Mike surged through her, leaving her shaking and determined to give Mike all the pleasure she deserved.
The thought of Brenda came uninvited, but Vivian immediately dismissed the comparison. She guessed that Brenda had wanted Mike to pleasure her in ways Mike wasn’t comfortable with, and Vivian vowed to never demand Mike make such choices.
As Mike leaned in and took one of Vivian’s nipples into her mouth, Vivian pressed against it. “Yes, just like that,” she groaned. “You make me feel so good.” Mike latched onto the nipple, tugging gently on it with her teeth, and Vivian gave a sharp cry before she sank deeper into the couch, pulling Mike with her. “Mike…cara…don’t stop. I want out of these clothes, though. Hurry.”
“No problem,” Mike said. She unbuttoned and unzipped Vivian’s slacks before pushing them off her raised hips, then tugged the panties and the nylon stockings down together at the same time.
“You too?” Vivian whispered, staring up at the outline of Mike’s face.
“Yes.”
Vivian felt Mike slowly undress, slowing their pace, and she touched her wherever she felt bare skin. Finally Mike sat naked in front of her. Vivian lost her breath and bit into her lower lip. “You feel wonderful.” Vivian let her palms “see” Mike. “I’m so glad I was able to see you before my eyes blurred completely,” she said. “I know you’re satin smooth, with perfect olive skin.” Her voice broke. “You know how I feel about you, don’t you, cara?”
“I think you have to tell me. I am beyond guessing. I’m bound to get it wrong.”
Vivian chuckled, nervous and exhilarated, as she drew Mike on top of her. “I know. It’s not fair of me to ask.” She quieted for a moment. No matter how she put this, it was going to sound either too formal or too mushy. “Sweetest Michaela, you’ve taken me by storm in every way possible. No matter what the future brings, I hope you’ll be there with me…because I love you.” Merde, it sounds like I’m proposing or something…and perhaps I am, in a way.
