Dark Before Dawn (The Protector Guild Book 7), page 9
“I was asleep,” I said, clearing my throat as I studied the strange, motley crew assembled outside in the hall.
Declan was leaning against the far wall, her shoulders angled towards Darius like they’d been whispering something—judging by the slightly annoyed tilt of her lips and the mirth in his eyes, he’d been teasing her. It was probably his favorite pastime these days.
Eli was a few feet away, his cheeks splotching a bit as he avoided meeting my eyes.
My stomach clenched as the memory of our last encounter came flooding back to me. I tugged on the shirt I was wearing—Wade’s from the smell of it—though it covered almost down to my knees.
“And you’re speaking,” Declan said as she took a step towards me, her posture hesitant like she was approaching a scared animal. “How are you feeling?” She paused, shook her head, then started again. “Awful question, thoughtless. Would you like some more food? Something to drink?” Her soft Irish lilt was thicker than usual, as she stumbled through the words.
I stepped through the door frame and looked down both ends of the hall. I felt my brows pinch, and a fleeting bolt of unease charged through my chest as I turned back to her. “Where’s Atlas?”
The others all looked at each other, the tentatively hopeful aura of the decrepit hall suddenly drifting into something decidedly more severe.
Declan’s eyes dropped to her hands, where her fingers were a tangled ball.
Eli, if possible, looked even more lost, his gaze completely unreadable.
I turned to Darius, studying his mismatched eyes as I closed the distance between us. “What happened?”
He took a deep, slow breath, then brought his hand up to my cheek, his calloused thumb brushing the sensitive skin under my eye. But any hesitation melted into a dogged determination as he pulled me into a hug.
The air rushed out of me, thick and fast, but I melted into him, my skin buzzing as it came alive at his nearness.
“We’ll get him back, little protector,” he whispered into my hair, “you have my word.”
My heart stuttered briefly, before it ramped up pace. With an ounce of regret, I untangled myself from his arms and took a few steps back. “Back? Back from where? Where is he?”
Wade exhaled, cursing under his breath, his elbows balancing on his knees as he hid his face between his legs.
I bent down to him and pressed a hand to his shoulder. “What’s happened?”
He didn’t emerge from his self-imposed cocoon, but he didn’t shrug me off either.
“After you teleported,” Declan said, pulling my focus to her. Her expression was cool, collected—back to the protector mode she often donned whenever shit truly hit the fan. Like the only way to hold the team together was to smudge away her own anxiety—blotted and polished, but not truly invisible. Not to me, anyway. “Atlas stayed behind, to give us time to run. But—” she cleared her throat, struggling to maintain her composure as her eyes met mine, piercing and slowly glazing over with unshed tears.
“But they got him,” Eli finished for her, sheepishly meeting my eyes for the first time. I didn’t see regret or anger there. Only concern—shyness—and maybe a little bit of fear. “The Guild. He’s in the labs. We’re assuming anyway.”
Ice filled my veins as my fingers dug into Wade, using his solid form to keep myself from falling over. “He’s where?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have told her yet,” Eli whispered, turning to Declan. “She needs more rest. More time to,” he ran a hand over his face, through his tousled hair, “to process. We can’t just throw everything at her.”
I felt strong hands grip my shoulders and steady me.
“The one thing Max needs,” Ro said, hugging me to his side, “is the truth. Whenever we can give it to her.”
“You’re right,” Eli said, shoulders dipping as his dark gaze drifted and then settled on me. “From now on, only the truth. And the truth is, Atlas was definitely taken. We don’t know where, but we assume he’ll be down in the labs, unless he’s—” Declan cleared her throat, cutting him off, as Wade sucked in a deep breath. Eli squared his shoulders and took a step closer to me. “Unless he’s dead, but we don’t think that he is.”
Dead.
The word struck me, landing in my chest and ricocheting through my ribs. Could Atlas be dead?
The mere possibility filled my lungs with icy terror—a chill that seemed to permeate through the group around me.
“He’s alive,” I said, and though I had no reason to know for sure, I felt the rightness of that statement deep in my gut. “He’s definitely alive.”
Eli’s features softened, and I could almost feel the same shift in the others, though my eyes didn’t leave his.
“That’s one of many problems,” Darius said, one brow arched. There was a sort of distance about him, his focus split between our conversation and something else. It was the way he got sometimes when he sank into himself—when he went to that other place I was never able to access. “We’re still no closer to discovering the source of shadow magic that Lucifer sent you after, and now our ability to infiltrate The Guild and hunt it down has been severely compromised. Plus, in addition to an angry camp of protectors after us all, it appears that the breach between realms is far more complicated than we realized. I saw creatures that day that I’ve only heard lore of. I haven’t the slightest idea where they’ve come from or how they’ve found their way to this realm. And, more worrisome still, we have no idea of the extent of their powers or whether or not those powers will be fighting on Lucifer’s side—or another side altogether. If I had to guess, I’d say there’s another big baddy in the picture that hasn’t revealed themselves yet.”
“The shadow magic,” I said, my voice piercing the ominous, dark halls. The jolt of excitement shifted into a tangle of knots as the memory of it came flooding back. “That day—” I paused, shaking my head. The day Atlas bonded to someone else. The day Guild Headquarters were ambushed. The day we lost the only place we had to call home. The day Cyrus died. Clearing my throat, I shook my head and began to pace, the energy and emotions fighting for control, desperate for a way to dispel themselves. “That day, I accidentally shifted to the ceremony.”
“The ceremony?” Wade stood up, studying me with an intense focus as he leaned against the doorway. “What ceremony?”
“Atlas’s bonding ceremony.” It felt more dream than memory as I tried to conjure that room back into focus. The council member standing between them, Reza standing there shivering with covered eyes, the pool of shimmery liquid, the mysterious stone. And Atlas. Atlas choosing to forsake whatever connection he had to me and pledge it to another person instead. I swallowed, willing the bile rising through my body back down. “I was in a vent, watching while Atlas bonded to Reza.”
“Fuck,” Eli muttered, his hands closed into a fist that looked almost painful. “The fucker actually went through with it, didn’t he?” His eyes met mine and I saw the ghost of my own pain reflected there. He could see the cut Atlas had carved through my chest, as if it were made boldly and cleanly by a blade. “I’ll fucking kill him.”
“After we save him, you mean,” Darius offered, his tone almost feral with the promise of violence. “First, we do the good guy thing, then we take out the trash. The universe likes balance.”
I raised my palms to stop the riot before it began. “No, it—” I shook my head, trying to believe my words as I uttered them, “that doesn’t matter. I saw it. I saw the shadow magic. They used a pool of it—and this blade.” I could feel five pairs of eyes focused on me—the hall filled only with my voice, no one so much as breathing. “The blade they use to bond protectors—it’s made out of the same material as Lucifer’s dagger, I think. Something uncannily similar to it at least. And it’s surrounded by a pool of shimmery, liquid, shadow magic—like a moat.” I closed my eyes, trying to picture the iridescent liquid. It had called to me, willing me to reach out and touch it—something so familiar, so peaceful, like I’d seen it before.
“Shit,” Declan whispered, her back landing against the wall with a soft thud. “What the fuck is The Guild doing with shadow magic?”
“Stealing it,” Darius said, his tone clipped, “does that shock you, after everything?”
“But for forging mate bonds?” she continued, not responding to the antagonism in his question. “How? Why?”
“True mate bonds—actual life bonds—haven’t existed in years,” Wade said, pacing just as I had been a few moments ago, his gaze flitting to mine briefly before he continued. He touched his shoulder—naked now, but where the temporary runes carved by Serae had been. “In some cases, with users powerful enough to wield it, it can be shaped. What if using shadow magic is the only way that The Guild can create an echo of a true bond? We knew they forced them; we just never knew how—the ritual is so private. Even when you’re part of it. I remember with Sarah—I was sliced by a blade—” his eyes narrowed, like he was lost in thought, chasing a memory just out of reach, “and I did touch something—something smooth and cold, air-like almost. And it seemed to radiate power. But the specifics, my memory of it, it’s so disjointed. Hazy.”
“Hmm,” Darius tilted his head, his eyes following Wade’s every step, like they were the key to deciphering his words, “and I suppose it’s no coincidence that Max would be drawn to that.” His focus darted to me, “or that she’d be the first creature in perhaps centuries to forge not only a single, true mate bond, but five of them.”
My stomach dipped, his words ringing through my ears, hollow and loud.
True bonds. It was a reality I think I’d known for a while. But it had lingered unacknowledged among us for so long, alluded to only in whispered moments, it seemed startling to hear it on Darius’s lips now.
It made sense though. Why else would I be so drawn to Six? To a vampire I was supposed to despise? But I’d been so resistant to the idea. Partially because something about it seemed too inevitable—like we didn’t have a choice in the matter. And I didn’t want them forced into anything.
But now I understood: bonds might be initiated by fate—but they could be rejected if they weren’t wanted.
Atlas had done just that, hadn’t he? He’d chosen The Guild’s version of a bond to Reza over whatever strange magic had been twining us together.
Eli’s mom had broken a bond with Seamus—it was why he was so repulsed by the idea of being bonded himself.
And me—well, I wasn’t lying when I told Eli that the only thing I wanted right now was meaningless sex. I didn’t want to strengthen my ties to them. Didn’t want to open myself up to the vulnerability of loving them. To the raw torment I’d feel if I lost one of them. It was too much. The look in Eli’s eyes when we’d been together—the shadow of emotion I’d seen there, the utter rawness of it. It was too intense. It had cracked me in half. If I was going to get through what we needed to do, I couldn’t tie myself to them, not like that.
“Um,” Ro cleared his throat and I felt him take a step closer to me, “what?”
Darius rolled his eyes, a vicious smirk plastered on his face. “We’re not seriously going to keep pretending like that’s not what’s happening, are we? It’s been exhausting getting everyone on board. Protectors are all so… blocked up. And while you are all the most stubborn creatures I’ve ever encountered—which, by the way,” he waved his hand in front of his face, “is saying a lot because I grew up with Claude—I think we’re all a bit past that. So let’s just get on with it. Reject the bond, don’t, that’s all up to you and Max. But I know where I stand.”
My cheeks warmed as his eyes met mine, the challenge and declaration clear.
“I only raise this now because Rowan should know what he’s walking into here,” Darius continued, unblinking, “the connections you share with us all, little protector, can be as dangerous as they are powerful. And if anyone—even your brother—gets in the way of protecting you, I will end them. It’s as simple as that.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but Ro’s quiet laugh cut me off.
“I’m fine with that,” he said, his shoulder nudging mine as he came closer. When I turned to him to argue, he just shrugged. “What? You’re basically the chosen one now. Which is cool and all in the movies, but this is real life. And that means you’re in a world of danger. Knowing that a vampire and other supernaturals will do everything in their power to keep you safe? That’s only a win, as far as I’m concerned. Plus, if true mate bonds are anything like the bonds The Guild forges, strengthening them will only serve to strengthen you too. And you’re going to need all the strength you can get.” His gaze darkened as he lifted his focus to Darius. “Whether or not any of you actually deserve her—well, that remains to be decided.” He narrowed his eyes, fists clenching at his sides. “But you should know that it goes both ways. She’s my sister. And if any of you get in the way of her safety, bonded or not—I won’t hesitate to pierce my dagger through your heart either.”
Darius’s face split into a wide grin—one that read as both dangerous and impressed. “Deal.”
I cleared my throat, annoyed now. “No one is killing anyone on my account. Period.” The thought of losing anyone standing in this room made me feel like vomiting. And thinking about the warped, complex connection between me, Darius, and Six—it felt how I imagined Lucifer’s blade might feel if it were sinking into my chest. “We’re here and we’re going to work together to do—” I waved my arm around the dark hall aimlessly, “whatever it is we’re going to do after we get Atlas.”
“You have an idea—” Wade stood up, took a step towards me, his expression darkening at whatever he saw in my eyes. “What is it?”
“I can teleport.” I stood taller, took a deep breath. “And I can teleport with another person now,” I pushed away the memory of Cy’s body clutched in my arms, pulling through space. I didn’t have the luxury of working through the grief of losing him. Not now, anyway. Maybe one day I could. “Apparently. I can just pop in right now—pull him back to us.”
“No.” Eli’s jaw was clenched so tightly, the word barely made it past his lips.
“Absolutely not,” Declan echoed, shaking her head as if the word ‘no’ alone wasn’t enough.
“Fuck that.” Darius’s eyes narrowed.
I raised my hands, stopping Ro and Wade before they could add their thoughts on the matter. “I can do it. And we can’t leave him there. He’s already been there for—” I closed my eyes, trying to remember how long it had been while I wallowed in my own pain—completely neglecting everyone else. If something happened because of me—if Atlas was—I shook the thought away. “How long have I been—”
I didn’t know how to finish the question. How long had I been a blubbering mess? Shutting the world out? Selfishly sinking into grief?
“It’s been a couple days.” Ro’s fingers twined through mine. “And stop whatever twisted mental path you’re taking right now, Max. You’re allowed to process your trauma however you need to.”
He was right. And it was decided—for now, I was going to process that trauma by ignoring it. By shoving it into the ever-growing pile of clusterfuck-boxes in my head. I’d deal with it later.
When my friends weren’t in danger.
When the world wasn’t collapsing.
When it was convenient.
No more falling apart, until then.
I nodded, dropped Ro’s hand from mine, took a few steps back, and closed my eyes. I focused on Atlas. On the color of his eyes as they swirled from brown to yellow when the wolf was at the surface, on the rigid posture of his spine whenever he was stressed or tense—so, always—on the way a few strands of hair would occasionally fall into his eyes when he was too focused to notice, on the way his muscles rippled and moved during sparring sessions, on the deep, gravelly sound of his voice, the ferocity with which he’d kissed me when we finally gave in to the heat simmering between us—
But something was wrong. Vacant.
The quiet, invisible tether I often felt between us—the one I’d cling onto when healing—was gone.
Panic welled in my chest at the loss of it.
No—a wash of something soft flitted through me. Not gone. Not completely. It was fractured. Almost imperceptible. But I latched onto it, clung to him with every ounce of my focus.
I breathed in deep, felt my breath ripple through it. Focused on reaching him, on collapsing into millions of particles that reformed wherever he was.
When I opened my eyes, I didn’t see Atlas.
I saw the same five familiar faces huddled around the same abandoned hallway I’d been standing in a moment before.
“What happened?” Darius.
“What’s wrong?” Ro.
I shook my head as I felt hands land on my arms and took several steps back. They protested at first, but didn’t press.
Maybe teleporting was too much right now. I hadn’t eaten properly—maybe I needed more sleep.
Or maybe Atlas’s bonding with Reza had damaged my link to him, severed it.
I rolled my head from side to side, shook my hands. I just needed to warm up.
I’d start with the easier stuff first. Build up to it. Teleporting had always been the most difficult for me to master.
I thought of the flame, the way the warmth spread through my veins, the tingling sensation along my skin.
Then I looked at my hands, twisting my wrists in front of my eyes, searching. But there was nothing. Just the soft flesh of my palms, dented with half-moons from clenched fists.
“Max?” Declan’s oval face was above me, concern mapped clearly in the bend of her brow. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“My powers,” I whispered, feeling suddenly more vulnerable than I’d ever felt before. “They’re gone.”
7
DARIUS
Her arms fell limply to her side, and her dark eyes widened with fear as they met mine.
