Lydia's Penance, page 25
But if she gave her stepfather the information he wanted, she’d be betraying Isaac even more than she was by keeping secrets from him. She’d actively be stealing from him. But it sounded as if she did, her stepfather would allow Amy to marry Mr. Tilding.
Would Isaac be able to trust her again if she stole from him? Lydia shuddered to think of the punishment such an act would earn, although that didn’t frighten her nearly so badly as the idea that the trust and intimacy they’d been building together would suffer. Isaac had wanted to tell her about his business ventures, had appreciated her interest in them, and even her suggestions. He valued her intellect and blue-stocking ways. And he’d given her the tools to betray him.
She already knew she was going to.
Her own selfish act had been escaping her stepfather’s house, using Isaac’s honor to do so. That had been the catalyst of all of this, and whatever price she paid, it was hers to pay, not her sister’s. Amy deserved happiness. Lydia had sacrificed her own right to a happy life when she’d done the dishonorable deed. She’d hoped to find happiness anyway, but perhaps that had been a selfish thought as well.
“Fine, I’ll get you the information.”
“Tonight.”
“By tomorrow,” Lydia said coldly, feeling as though her entire body had frozen over. She glared at her stepfather, who just smiled sinisterly back at her. “I’ll need time to retrieve the information.”
“Tomorrow afternoon,” he acquiesced. “When the ladies go lie down for their naps.”
“Fine.” She bit off the word.
With a triumphant smirk, her stepfather turned and walked away, leaving Lydia with her legs and arms shaking as she leaned against the desk. She swallowed against the sick feeling in her stomach, her anxiety tripled now - and it had already been far too high to begin with.
Grabbing the first vase she saw, she took it downstairs to hand it off to Mrs. Huffington. If she was going to sneak in to Isaac’s study, it had to be done now. The ladies were napping, the gentlemen were in the billiards room or out riding, and Isaac was currently with the riding group. Once he returned, she may or may not be able to sneak away from him.
Besides, she wanted to get this over with immediately.
Although Isaac actually preferred riding in the morning over the afternoons, when Mr. Jonathan Tilding had chosen horses over the billiard room, Isaac had seized the opportunity to get to know the man who might be his future brother-in-law better. Lydia had expressed considerable excitement over Tilding’s interest in her sister, Amy, and had been watching them closely over the past few days. Although he’d met Tilding before, Isaac hadn’t really gotten to know him. He was closer in age to Benedict, who considered him a gentleman and a likable chap, but under the circumstances, Isaac wanted to make his own judgments.
And a man could tell quite a bit about another man from how he treated his horse.
Tilding had a good seat, a steady but gentle hand on the reins, and didn’t carry a quirt. The horse he rode, Socrates, one of Isaac’s thoroughbreds, was a fairly easy ride, although he could be occasionally temperamental as he had a somewhat sensitive mouth. From Socrates’ calm demeanor, it was obvious Tilding met with his approval. Isaac trusted Socrates’ opinion, even if he was a horse.
The gentlemen riding followed a track around the estate and through the woods. Several of them had questions about a formal hunt, the closest of which was held about ten miles away, although there were grouse and some other prey living in the woods to provide both sport and a meal. Conversations filtered through as some gentlemen held short races and then waited for the others to catch up or rode beside each other. About an hour into the ride, Isaac managed to maneuver himself next to Tilding.
After the requisite opening gambits inquiring after family, Tilding congratulated Isaac on his recent wedding, and he immediately took advantage of the opening.
“Thank you, I believe Lydia’s settling in quite well as my duchess,” he said, letting his very real fondness for his wife seep into his voice. “She’s thrilled to have her sister attending the house party, and delighted to have met one of Amy’s new neighbors.” He raised his eyebrows at Tilding, sure his direction would be understood.
Not at all intimidated, Tilding smiled. “I’ve been enjoying getting to know Miss Stafford. I must admit, I wasn’t looking for a wife when I took charge of the estate in Wymouth, but having met Miss Stafford...”
His voice trailed off slightly as his dark eyes seemed to glow from within. A look Isaac recognized all too well, having seen it in both his friends and in his mirror. Tilding was truly smitten with Amy. Realizing his preoccupation, Tilding coughed and refocused himself on the conversation.
“I plan to offer for her after we return to Wymouth,” he said, not quite in a tone of secrecy, but his voice was low enough to ensure Isaac realized his intentions weren’t common knowledge, at least to his point of view. Amused, Isaac wondered if Tilding realized everyone was betting on him offering for Miss Stafford within the month. “I’ve been taking this opportunity to know her better and to gain her father’s approval.” He made a face. “Admittedly, I’ve made a better hash of the former than the latter.”
“If I might make a suggestion...?” Isaac let his voice trail.
“Please do.”
“Talk up your connection with Kent. You’re close after all, and Grayford is rather more social conscious than anything else.” He leaned in slightly, as much as he could in the saddle. “I’ll give him to understand that I support your cause as well. He’s quite ingratiating to me.”
Tilding brightened. “Thank you, Your Grace!”
“Isaac, please, seeing as I’m quite sure we’re going to be related soon,” he said with a grin, feeling as though he’d done his good deed for the day. He was looking forward to telling Lydia and claiming a suitable reward for his efforts.
It also occurred to him that by the end of this house party, he would be on first name basis with a quite a few gentlemen. Although he doubted Jonathan, his soon to be brother-in-law, would be joining The Club (as Wesley had now started calling it). While Jonathan had a strong personality and high confidence, he didn’t have that indefinable air of authority which hovered around all the members of The Club. Not that Isaac took that as incontrovertible proof of such activities, but it did seem rather telling.
As he chatted amiably with Jonathan, discussing the various issues facing country estates (apparently Jonathan had been assigned to the House on the Hill in Wymouth with the challenge of making it more profitable, at which point it would be gifted to him by the Duke of Kent) and how to meet them, Isaac was more and more impressed with the young man. He had a firm grasp on what he faced, a few innovative ideas that Isaac quickly decided he would try out on his own lands, and some keen insights into investments and business. Very much of the younger generation, he’d quickly realized the future lay in industry and business, not necessarily the land.
Which gave them quite a bit to talk about, as Isaac was very much of the same mindset.
There was something wrong with his wife.
Isaac had noticed it as soon as he’d joined the other guests gathering in the parlor before dinner. While Lydia had been smiling, engaging the others with perfect politeness, there had been something indefinably wrong. She was too upright, too rigid, practically quivering with tension, and her smile was too tight.
Unfortunately, as the hosts, they’d been seated at opposite ends of the table. He found himself constantly glancing down the length of wood, covered with food and decorations, to observe his wife’s behavior. The act she was putting on was quite good, but he wasn’t the only one who had noticed. Both her sister and her stepfather were watching her closely, and Lady Dunbury was glancing at her with increasing concern. The others were all too focused on their own conversations, or perhaps just didn’t know her well enough, to pick up on her distraction.
Once dinner had been completed, Isaac led the gentlemen through their customary port and discussion as swiftly as he politely could, anxious to reach the drawing room and the end to the evening, when he would be able to spend time alone with his wife. After all, there was very little he could learn while they were being watched by their guests; he doubted Lydia would be willing to unburden herself while she was doing her duty as a hostess. If he’d learned anything about his wife, it was that she was very keen on duty, and especially on being an exemplary duchess. Although he’d had his doubts about her abilities when they’d first wed, he certainly didn’t doubt her abilities or her dedication now. She’d nearly made herself sick with stress before the wedding.
Isaac frowned as he led the other gentlemen down the hall to the drawing room, where the ladies would be waiting. The last “punishment” he’d given Lydia had been the day before the house party, and he’d had her on a bit of a schedule before that. Could the intervening days and the lack of a physical outlet for her stress be the cause? She’d been quite wound up before the party and he’d observed how the punishment had helped put her on a more even keel. During the party he’d not planned to punish her - with a house full of guests, he didn’t think either of them would want to risk such activities being overheard - but he might have to revisit that decision. After all, he didn’t want her to become overwhelmed when he had an easy solution.
At the very least, they could certainly engage in some play, if not punishment, which might help her take the edge off.
To Lydia’s consternation, after the gentleman joined the ladies in the drawing room, it cleared out rather quickly. Apparently, her husband had planted several seeds in the gentlemen’s heads about an early night tonight, to rest up for the ball tomorrow. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more anxious than she was already feeling.
On one hand, trying to behave as if nothing was wrong was quite exhausting... on the other, she truly did not want to face her husband. Not after what she’d done.
She’d easily gotten into his study and had even known where to look for the papers about the Northumberton Railway. They’d been right there, where he’d put them back after telling her about the deal, along with his other business correspondence. Lydia had ignored everything but the exact information her stepfather had requested - Isaac’s partners in the deal. Some of whom were high-sticklers in the ton and would be both horrified and furious to have their involvement become tawdry gossip. It wouldn’t just be damaging to their social standings, it would also damage their relationship with Isaac.
Having taken the information and turning it over to her stepfather would certainly damage her relationship with Isaac. She could only hope, once Amy was married and she confessed all to her husband, he would be able to find a way to mitigate the consequences with his partners. Lydia’s plan to tell Isaac as soon as Amy was safe hadn’t changed. She didn’t care what the consequences were to herself - or, rather, she did, but she’d rather bear the consequences on her own instead of inflicting them on others.
While her stepfather might think she would be willing to continue keeping secrets from Isaac in order to hide her own betrayal of him, he was wrong. Lydia would do whatever she needed to protect her husband from her own actions... once she had protected her sister. And she did have hopes her sister would marry soon. Mr. Tilding had been entirely devoted in his attentions - and Lydia had made sure to seat him beside Amy at every dinner.
Tomorrow, she would give her stepfather the list of Isaac’s partners in the Northumberton Railway, and then she’d hope and pray to receive Amy’s wedding invitation as soon as possible. The day Amy married, Lydia would come clean to Isaac. About everything. Perhaps he would understand, perhaps he wouldn’t, but all she could do was try.
“Is everything alright, my dear?” her too perceptive husband asked as he closed the door to her room. “You’ve been restless all evening.”
“I -“ Lydia started to say and then bit her lip, trying to settle on something believable. Isaac put his arms around her, his large frame enveloping hers, as his hands slid down her back and cupped her bottom. “Spank me please, Sir?”
One dark eyebrow rose. “You think we should continue your punishments during the house party?” His tone was not entirely surprised, and she thought she might even detect a note of pleasure.
“Yes... I think I need it,” she said, entirely truthfully. Of course, he wouldn’t realize she also felt the need to be punished over the list she’d made today.
“Do you remember what I said I would do to you the next time I punished you?” he asked, his voice a growling purr, as his hands slid further over her bottom, his fingers sliding into the crease between her cheeks. Lydia’s face flushed as she remembered, and her nipples puckered in response, rubbing against the front of her dress as her back arched and pushed her upper body against him.
“Yes,” she whispered, and shivered in reaction to the image which slid into her mind. Isaac, so much larger and stronger than she, pressing his thick cock into her most private hole, a rather terrifying perversion which sent her arousal soaring. It would hurt and it would not be comfortable, just like the dilators he’d used on her last time, but today, today she craved it. The degradation, the perversion, and even the pain. Her lips tipped up, without thinking, and her husband’s came down.
His kiss was raw, passionate, and his hands roughly kneaded her bottom through the flowing skirts of her dress. Lydia whimpered against him, clutching at his shoulders to hold herself upright as he bent her back, leaning over her to firmly grasp her buttocks in his hands. Even through her skirts, she could feel his fingers searching out her bottomhole, and she shuddered in response. He completely dominated her, from his kiss, to his hands, to the way she relied on him for support, and Lydia melted into his possession of her with relief.
There was no more thinking, no more anxiety, just the desire to please him, the knowledge he would show her how to do so, and the peace that being punished always brought her.
As he released her from his kiss, Lydia was surprised when his hands pushed her down to her knees. She looked up at him in confusion, her lips parted as if to ask a question. The almost cruel smile she saw on his face set her heart racing.
“I want you to suck me off first,” he said, answering her unasked question. His thumb traced her lower lip as he cupped her cheek with his fingers, before he popped the tip of his digit into her mouth. “That way, I won’t be feeling any rush to finish things.”
Heat and excited apprehension filled her. By now, she knew her husband was much less rushed and had far greater stamina the second time he mounted her than the first. Knowing he was already planning to spend a great deal of time punishing her bottom hole was both menacing and exhilarating.
She was fully clothed in her beautiful lavender evening gown with its puffed sleeves and silver trim, every inch a lady... except that she was on her knees taking her husband’s cock from his breeches. Isaac remained fully clothed as well, not even removing his constricting jacket as he loomed over her, watching with an avid expression on his face as she took his shaft in hand and pointed the tip of his cock towards her lips. The contrast between how they were clothed and the scandalous act she was about to perform only excited her further.
Flicking out her tongue, she took the pearly drop of liquid on the tip of his cock into her mouth. The slightly sweet, slightly bitter, salt taste was one she’d become very familiar with, and her body was practically conditioned to become aroused as soon as she tasted the flavor. Opening her lips, she batted her lashes as she looked up at her husband, slowly taking him into her mouth. Isaac’s dark eyes glittered in the candlelight as he watched his, his hands coming to rest gently on her elaborate coiffure, sinking in between the strands of her hair and sending pins scattering.
The only contact between them was her hand and mouth on his cock and his hands guiding her head. Lydia could feel the urgency in his thrusts as he almost immediately took control of her movements, something which he rarely did, preferring to enjoy her efforts to pleasure him on her own. Not tonight, however.
Removing her hand from his cock, Lydia rested both palms on his thighs, and let him do as he wished. She’d had plenty of practice during the past month, taking him in her mouth and down her throat without gagging. Although she still wasn’t completely perfect at doing so, when he took control she’d found it was somehow easier for her to. Possibly because she didn’t need to think about it, he just thrust down her throat and she reacted by swallowing him.
Isaac moaned as he pumped his hips, his full length sliding in and out of her mouth, his fingers pressing hard into her scalp, and Lydia felt her own body responding with increasing arousal as she sucked and swallowed his cock. The thick length pressed against her tongue and lips, making them feel swollen, and her throat sore as he battered it unmercifully. A strange calm always filled her during this act, as though it brought its own sense of peace with it... seeing to his pleasure did that for her, fulfilling her in a way that receiving pleasure without giving any in return didn’t.
Her thighs pressed together as his cock moved slickly, her own body aching for what she knew would come next. As his fingers dug into her head, his hips began to thrust faster, and Lydia suckled him harder, eager for the liquid offering she knew was imminent. When he finally pressed her fully against him, the whole of his length lodged down her throat, she could feel the pulsing of his cock against her tongue as his cum slid straight from his cock and down into her belly. She felt almost dizzy with the lack of air as her throat worked, and the whirling in her head made the need in her body feel even more urgent.
As much as she loved pleasuring her husband like this, Lydia was even more eager to receive her punishment and easement she knew it would bring her conscience.
