The Dover Cafe On the Front Line, page 25
‘Oh, he’s done more than just be here,’ Marge said, coming up behind them. ‘He’s been out there giving everyone what for. And very impressive it was too.’
Nellie went to give her son a hug. ‘And I bet they felt about an inch tall. You have a way of putting people in their place that even I’ve never mastered.’
Rodney sighed. ‘It was no trouble, really, Mum,’ he said sarcastically. ‘All in a day’s work for a pompous know-all like me.’
‘God, Mum, why are you such a cow to him? You should have seen him out in the square, sticking up for you and Lily. He was a hero. And here you go, moaning about him again,’ Edie snarled through the hatch.
Jasper put his hand on Nellie’s arm as he saw her open her mouth to snap back, and gave her a warning look. She hesitated for a moment. ‘I’m sorry, Rod,’ she said. ‘You know I love you. You’ve always been the very best person to have around in a crisis,’ Nellie said.
‘It’s all right, Mum. I know you can’t help yourself,’ Rodney replied with a slight smile.
Nellie nodded and walked through to the café, where she slumped into a seat, her shoulders sagging. ‘So, Lily, why don’t you fill them in on everything,’ she said, as Gladys patted her shoulder comfortingly and Marianne placed a cup of tea in front of her.
‘Nellie, Lily needs to lie down,’ Jasper said.
Lily smiled gratefully at him. She really did feel as though she was about to collapse; her head was spinning and the room was coming in and out of focus; she was certain that she had a concussion.
Nellie jumped up. ‘What was I thinking? Come on, I’ll help you up the stairs. And I bet there’s a bit of hot water if you want a bath.’
The thought of a bath was heavenly, but right now all she wanted was her bed. ‘Just sleep, Mum. That’s all I need.’
‘I’ll bring you some tea and aspirin up.’ Nellie followed her through to the kitchen.
The back door opened just as Lily was staring at the flight of stairs, wondering how she’d manage to drag herself up them, and Bert ran in. Seeing her slumped against the door frame, he scooped her up, holding her securely against his chest. ‘Jesus Christ, Lily. What mischief have you got into this time?’
She shook her head against his shoulder, relieved to no longer have to stay upright. ‘Can you carry me up, Bert? I don’t think I can walk that far,’ she murmured, closing her eyes.
‘Course I will.’ He dropped a kiss on her head, and settled her weight more securely in his arms before starting to climb the stairs.
As they made their way up, Lily opened her eyes and whispered, ‘Do Jim and Alfie know?’
‘Not yet. They were out on duty when Don arrived. I left a note for them.’
‘And Charlie? Does he know?’
Bert hesitated for just a moment, before nodding reluctantly. ‘I paid a visit to the hospital before I left.’
‘What did he say? Will he be coming to see me?’
Bert avoided her eyes. ‘I don’t know, Lil. It’s hard for him. He was in the middle of something, and . . . Well, you’re not his family so he couldn’t just leave.’
Lily’s heart sank. For once in his life, Bert was trying to be diplomatic, but she could read between the lines. She closed her eyes again and sighed. What did it matter, anyway? She’d always known there was no real future for them. A man like Charlie and a girl like her didn’t belong together.
Bert said no more until he opened the door to the bedroom, where he stopped, sniffing the air suspiciously. ‘Bloody hell, it smells like the Oak at closing time on a Friday night!’ His eyes drifted to Pauline, who was sprawled on the bed fully clothed, her hip flask lying open on the bed beside her, the eiderdown soaked with liquid. He shook his head. ‘I know it’s been a tough night and she’s had a shock, but Pauline’s got a problem with the booze. It’s a shame cos she’s a great girl, but she’s going to get herself into real trouble if she don’t get that under control.’
Lily yawned against his chest. She didn’t care about Pauline’s problems any more. She could drink herself to death for all she cared right now. But later, when she felt stronger, she was going to ask her what Dick Brown had said to her outside the hospital. Because she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was at the bottom of everything that was going wrong in their lives at the moment. As for Charlie, well, at least she knew where she stood.
Chapter 32
‘So, are you going to tell us what happened?’ Rodney asked his mother after Lily and Bert had disappeared up the stairs.
Nellie sighed deeply. ‘Mr Wainwright got her released. Said they have no evidence, and when he left he muttered something about putting this right.’
‘What right?’
‘If you ask me, he’s got suspicions as to who is really responsible. It’s shameful; arresting a girl who’s been punched in the face, tied up and left unconscious. She was just doing her job! But apparently one of the soldiers and that weird bloke who came round that lunchtime told the police she was on friendly terms with the German.’
Jasper slammed his fist on the table, making everyone jump. ‘It’s a bloody pack of lies! Our Lily would NEVER—’
‘Jasper!’ Nellie said sharply.
Jasper flicked a glance at her, and sat back down, head on his chest and arms folded. ‘Well, it’s a scandal, that’s what it is. Blaming an innocent young girl for something she had no part in.’
Nellie stared at him stonily. ‘I appreciate the help you’ve given me today, Jasper, but like I said earlier, this is family business. Castle family business, so maybe you should go.’
Jasper went still, his face paling, then he got up and left without another word.
There was stunned silence for a moment, broken by Donny, who had been so quiet everyone had almost forgotten he was there.
‘Gran,’ he whispered, tears in his eyes, ‘that wasn’t very nice.’
‘How could you, Mum? Jasper’s stuck by you through thick and thin. Whatever you do or say, he’s always ready to back you up.’ Marianne put her arm around her son. ‘And you’ve upset your grandson. I don’t know which is worse.’
‘Marianne’s right.’ Edie got up. ‘Every time I think you’re not so bad, you go and show me that you’re actually worse. I don’t care what you say, Mum, but Jasper is family. And if it came down to a choice between the two of you, then I know who I’d go for. I don’t know why he sticks around. I’m going to check he’s all right. You coming Marianne? Donny?’
Without looking at her mother, Marianne stood up, and with her arm still round her son, they followed Edie out through the kitchen.
Marge and Reenie stared at each other uncomfortably for a moment, then Marge got to her feet. ‘We’ll be off and all, Mrs C,’ she said with false cheeriness. ‘You know where we are if you need us.’
After they’d left, Rodney sighed. ‘Well done, Mum. We can always rely on you to make a bad situation worse. Anyway, now Lily’s back safe and sound, I’ve got to get back to work before I get court martialled for going AWOL. Send Donny if you need me.’
Nellie didn’t move or show any emotion until the door had shut behind Rodney, then she put her head in her hands.
Gladys, who had remained silent throughout, put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. ‘I don’t know why I stick with you sometimes. All the good you do, all the help you give, and then things like this . . . I’d give my eye teeth for everything you have – a family, a man that loves you . . . Honestly, Nell, how could you treat Jasper like that?’
Nellie raised her head and wiped her eyes. ‘I never mean it, Glad. Sometimes it’s like a red mist descends and I can’t seem to stop meself.’
Gladys rolled her eyes. ‘You’re forty-nine years old! Don’t you think you should have learnt to by now? Even your Don’s better at controlling himself than you. Look what happened here the other day, with the police getting tipped off. Seems someone’s got it in for you and if you ask me, you probably deserve it.’
Nellie’s shoulders sagged. ‘I don’t care about that. I know I rub people up the wrong way sometimes. But it’s not that . . .’ She looked up at her friend, tears pooling again in her hazel eyes.
‘What? What is it, Nell? Short of one of them being killed what could be worse than what happened today?’
Nellie swallowed and shook her head. ‘I . . .’ She twisted her fingers together on the table, as though trying to decide what to say. ‘You remember my Donald, don’t you, Glad?’
Gladys’s brow wrinkled. ‘Of course I remember him. I’m not likely to forget, am I?’
‘I mean, how he was?’
Gladys nodded. ‘You both suffered, Nellie. God forgive me, but after my Godfrey got killed in the war and you took me in . . .’ She paused and swallowed. ‘All those years I lived here, there was envy in my heart and sometimes I hated you. You had a husband, kids, the business. And I had nothing. But then when Donald came back . . . As handsome as ever on the outside, but destroyed and ugly on the inside, I thought—’ she crossed herself, but her expression was hard ‘—I thought, I was glad Godfrey was dead rather than having to see him turn into a . . . a monster like your Donald.’
Nellie’s head came up at her vehemence, and Gladys took a deep breath, before continuing in a softer tone. ‘It’s far worse to feel your love die, to watch your husband become a broken, twisted man.’ She put her hand on Nellie’s. ‘And yet, despite that, you kept going. You’re stronger than me, love. Stronger than most women. But your temper’ll be your undoing if you’re not careful.’ She paused for a moment. ‘But how has he got anything to do with what happened just now?’
Nellie shook her head. ‘Donald . . . Do you remember when he nearly strangled me? Thought I was the enemy coming to kill him?’
Gladys nodded. ‘I remember. The doctor drugged him and I sat with him and the kids while Jasper took you to the hospital. Then when you came back, Donald moved in with Jasper for a bit to give you a break. God knows where you’d be without that man. Edie was right, your behaviour were shocking just now.’
Nellie stared at Gladys, desperate to unburden herself, but aware that her friend’s strong faith might mean she’d hate her. Finally, she licked her lips. ‘I’ll tell you where I’d be. I’d be a mother of five. That’s where I’d be.’
Gladys looked confused. ‘Eh?’
‘I’d have three boys and two girls. That’s where I’d be without Jasper. Cos that night . . .’ Nellie swallowed then continued in a whisper, ‘That night, I didn’t go to the hospital. I stayed at Jasper’s.’
Gladys’s mind went back to that time. Edie had been just one, little more than a baby. She used to sit and rock her, pretending that she was her own sweet girl. And some months after the incident, there’d been another baby for her to love . . . She sat back in shock as the realisation hit. ‘Are you telling me that . . . Lily . . . ?’
At Nellie’s nod, Gladys stood up and began to pace in agitation. ‘Then what you said to him just now was even worse than I thought. And how come you never married him?’
‘How could I? How could I when I’d betrayed my own husband when he needed me the most? How could I then leap into the next available bed, as if he’d never existed?’
‘But that’s not—’
‘It is! And now Pauline knows that Lily’s his daughter. She heard me and Jasper talking.’
Gladys shook her head. ‘I know he were ill and it weren’t his fault, but what he did . . . Donald didn’t deserve your loyalty,’ she said harshly. ‘And what do you expect me to say to you? You’ve not just been lying to the kids, but you’ve been lying to everyone else as well. And what of Jasper? He loves you. He loves your children. He could have shown them what it was like to have a father, a decent man to learn from, but you refused to let him be a proper part of the family because of your stubborn pride?’ She stopped as a thought came to her. ‘Did Donald know?’
Nellie nodded miserably. ‘He never forgave us. Either of us. And he never spoke a word to Lily. Not one word. Thank God she never noticed he treated her differently. Thought it was just the way he was.’
Gladys gathered up her bag and went to get her jacket and helmet. ‘You are a stupid, stubborn old fool. You’ve had a good man pining for you, and you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. And what of Lily? How’s she going to feel when the truth comes out? Which it will now that drunken madam knows. Pauline’s resented you since your stupid games when she was nothing but a girl and she’ll use this against you. Like I said, it’s time you grew up and realised that your actions have consequences. And right now, the consequences are that you just might lose your daughter. I’m off before I say something I might regret. But you find a way to clean up this mess, or you’ll not only be looking for a new assistant. You’ll be looking for a new friend.’ With that, she stalked through to the kitchen. ‘And don’t expect me back until you’ve sorted all this out,’ she called through the hatch. Then she left, slamming the back door behind her.
Nellie sat staring straight ahead, afraid to move an inch in case it made her break down completely. Behind her, the parrot stirred in her cage. She’d sat in silence through most of the drama, as though sensing the tension in the air. But now she squawked gently, almost sympathetically. Finally, the dam broke and Nellie dropped her head onto the table and wept. For her children, who might never forgive her; for the love she’d been taking for granted that might now be lost; and for the girl she used to be: so full of joy and hope, never guessing that she would have to live through two world wars and watch her husband destroyed by his own mind.
Soon, though, the tears stopped and she sat up and took a deep breath. Gladys was right. She needed to sort this out, and she was going to start with Jasper.
‘Finished feeling sorry for yourself, have you, Mum?’
She stood up and whirled round. Bert was standing in the doorway, arms folded, his expression inscrutable.
‘How long have you been there?’ she asked, her voice quivering with nerves.
‘Long enough,’ he said tonelessly.
‘You heard me talking to Glad?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Every word. But don’t worry, I won’t be telling Lily; poor love’s got enough to deal with right now. But, Jesus, Mum . . . You have your faults, but one thing I’ve always thought I could rely on is your honesty. No matter whether I wanted the truth or not, I knew you’d give it to me. But now . . .’ He shrugged. ‘I finally realise that you’re nothing but a grubby little liar. And worst of all, you’ve forced one of the best men I know to live a lie right along with you.’ He shook his head. ‘You should be ashamed of yourself.’
Nellie stood stock-still and watched through the window as her youngest son walked across the square. For a moment, her tears blurred her vision and she could have sworn it was Donald, restored to his youthful glory, walking away from her, his back rigid with fury at her betrayal.
Chapter 33
Before she left to find Jasper, Nellie went upstairs to check on her daughter. Opening the bedroom door, she wrinkled her nose at the smell, casting a brief glance at Pauline, who was lying on her back, limbs spread out like a starfish, snoring. Maybe she should speak to the girl, try to find out what she intended to do with the information. She knew, though, that any promise of silence she managed to extract from her would be worthless; it’d only take a few drinks and she’d be spouting her mouth off. But then, maybe it was time for the truth to come out. She’d hoped it would stay buried forever, but maybe that was wrong. And Lily didn’t deserve to hear the truth from a girl in her cups.
She sat down gingerly on Lily’s bed, careful not to wake her. She was lying curled in the foetal position, her glorious blonde hair covering the bruise on her face. Gently, Nellie stroked it away. She was so beautiful, her little girl. So clever and spirited; she couldn’t be prouder of her. Her eyes filled with tears. Lily was the best of her and Jasper; her own fiery nature tempered with Jasper’s kindness. But the brains . . . well, she wasn’t sure where she’d got her brains from. The girl could be anything she wanted. She should have found a way, she thought, to let Lily study to be a doctor. Why hadn’t she? They’d have managed it somehow and Jasper would have helped; he’d offered enough times. But she’d refused because she was worried that Lily would ask questions. She sighed. Everything led back to her stupid pride and the secret that had sat like a stone in her stomach since that terrible night. She shook her head. No, she needed to be honest; Donald’s actions had been terrifying, but over the years, the memory that remained was of Jasper. His gentleness, how he had restored her faith, made her feel cherished and worthy. And given her this most precious gift. Why had she rejected him for all these years?
Carefully, she ran her fingers over the bruise on Lily’s jaw. Her poor baby. What she had suffered today. She would fight tooth and nail to make sure no further harm came to her. The question was, which side of Lily’s nature would win out when she finally told her the truth? Her mother’s impulsive temper or Jasper’s warm understanding? Only time would tell.
Quietly, she got up and tiptoed out of the room. It was time to speak to Jasper. She’d hurt him deeply; she only hoped he could forgive her.
*
Marianne and Edie were in the kitchen with Donny, clearing away the remains of the breakfast service, when Nellie came downstairs. She couldn’t even contemplate opening the café today; especially not after what she’d learnt about her neighbours’ reactions to Lily’s arrest. She felt deeply betrayed by their willingness to believe that her daughter could have been involved in helping a prisoner to escape.
‘I’m going to talk to Jasper,’ she said. ‘How is he?’
‘How do you think?’ Edie replied, clattering a pan on to the range.
‘He’s very sad, Gran. And you need to apologise,’ Donny said from his chair at the small kitchen table where he was eating a sandwich.
Nellie stroked his hair. ‘That’s exactly what I intend to do, love. And while I’m gone and the café is closed, I want you to mop the floor and wash the dishes in the pantry.’
Nellie went to give her son a hug. ‘And I bet they felt about an inch tall. You have a way of putting people in their place that even I’ve never mastered.’
Rodney sighed. ‘It was no trouble, really, Mum,’ he said sarcastically. ‘All in a day’s work for a pompous know-all like me.’
‘God, Mum, why are you such a cow to him? You should have seen him out in the square, sticking up for you and Lily. He was a hero. And here you go, moaning about him again,’ Edie snarled through the hatch.
Jasper put his hand on Nellie’s arm as he saw her open her mouth to snap back, and gave her a warning look. She hesitated for a moment. ‘I’m sorry, Rod,’ she said. ‘You know I love you. You’ve always been the very best person to have around in a crisis,’ Nellie said.
‘It’s all right, Mum. I know you can’t help yourself,’ Rodney replied with a slight smile.
Nellie nodded and walked through to the café, where she slumped into a seat, her shoulders sagging. ‘So, Lily, why don’t you fill them in on everything,’ she said, as Gladys patted her shoulder comfortingly and Marianne placed a cup of tea in front of her.
‘Nellie, Lily needs to lie down,’ Jasper said.
Lily smiled gratefully at him. She really did feel as though she was about to collapse; her head was spinning and the room was coming in and out of focus; she was certain that she had a concussion.
Nellie jumped up. ‘What was I thinking? Come on, I’ll help you up the stairs. And I bet there’s a bit of hot water if you want a bath.’
The thought of a bath was heavenly, but right now all she wanted was her bed. ‘Just sleep, Mum. That’s all I need.’
‘I’ll bring you some tea and aspirin up.’ Nellie followed her through to the kitchen.
The back door opened just as Lily was staring at the flight of stairs, wondering how she’d manage to drag herself up them, and Bert ran in. Seeing her slumped against the door frame, he scooped her up, holding her securely against his chest. ‘Jesus Christ, Lily. What mischief have you got into this time?’
She shook her head against his shoulder, relieved to no longer have to stay upright. ‘Can you carry me up, Bert? I don’t think I can walk that far,’ she murmured, closing her eyes.
‘Course I will.’ He dropped a kiss on her head, and settled her weight more securely in his arms before starting to climb the stairs.
As they made their way up, Lily opened her eyes and whispered, ‘Do Jim and Alfie know?’
‘Not yet. They were out on duty when Don arrived. I left a note for them.’
‘And Charlie? Does he know?’
Bert hesitated for just a moment, before nodding reluctantly. ‘I paid a visit to the hospital before I left.’
‘What did he say? Will he be coming to see me?’
Bert avoided her eyes. ‘I don’t know, Lil. It’s hard for him. He was in the middle of something, and . . . Well, you’re not his family so he couldn’t just leave.’
Lily’s heart sank. For once in his life, Bert was trying to be diplomatic, but she could read between the lines. She closed her eyes again and sighed. What did it matter, anyway? She’d always known there was no real future for them. A man like Charlie and a girl like her didn’t belong together.
Bert said no more until he opened the door to the bedroom, where he stopped, sniffing the air suspiciously. ‘Bloody hell, it smells like the Oak at closing time on a Friday night!’ His eyes drifted to Pauline, who was sprawled on the bed fully clothed, her hip flask lying open on the bed beside her, the eiderdown soaked with liquid. He shook his head. ‘I know it’s been a tough night and she’s had a shock, but Pauline’s got a problem with the booze. It’s a shame cos she’s a great girl, but she’s going to get herself into real trouble if she don’t get that under control.’
Lily yawned against his chest. She didn’t care about Pauline’s problems any more. She could drink herself to death for all she cared right now. But later, when she felt stronger, she was going to ask her what Dick Brown had said to her outside the hospital. Because she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was at the bottom of everything that was going wrong in their lives at the moment. As for Charlie, well, at least she knew where she stood.
Chapter 32
‘So, are you going to tell us what happened?’ Rodney asked his mother after Lily and Bert had disappeared up the stairs.
Nellie sighed deeply. ‘Mr Wainwright got her released. Said they have no evidence, and when he left he muttered something about putting this right.’
‘What right?’
‘If you ask me, he’s got suspicions as to who is really responsible. It’s shameful; arresting a girl who’s been punched in the face, tied up and left unconscious. She was just doing her job! But apparently one of the soldiers and that weird bloke who came round that lunchtime told the police she was on friendly terms with the German.’
Jasper slammed his fist on the table, making everyone jump. ‘It’s a bloody pack of lies! Our Lily would NEVER—’
‘Jasper!’ Nellie said sharply.
Jasper flicked a glance at her, and sat back down, head on his chest and arms folded. ‘Well, it’s a scandal, that’s what it is. Blaming an innocent young girl for something she had no part in.’
Nellie stared at him stonily. ‘I appreciate the help you’ve given me today, Jasper, but like I said earlier, this is family business. Castle family business, so maybe you should go.’
Jasper went still, his face paling, then he got up and left without another word.
There was stunned silence for a moment, broken by Donny, who had been so quiet everyone had almost forgotten he was there.
‘Gran,’ he whispered, tears in his eyes, ‘that wasn’t very nice.’
‘How could you, Mum? Jasper’s stuck by you through thick and thin. Whatever you do or say, he’s always ready to back you up.’ Marianne put her arm around her son. ‘And you’ve upset your grandson. I don’t know which is worse.’
‘Marianne’s right.’ Edie got up. ‘Every time I think you’re not so bad, you go and show me that you’re actually worse. I don’t care what you say, Mum, but Jasper is family. And if it came down to a choice between the two of you, then I know who I’d go for. I don’t know why he sticks around. I’m going to check he’s all right. You coming Marianne? Donny?’
Without looking at her mother, Marianne stood up, and with her arm still round her son, they followed Edie out through the kitchen.
Marge and Reenie stared at each other uncomfortably for a moment, then Marge got to her feet. ‘We’ll be off and all, Mrs C,’ she said with false cheeriness. ‘You know where we are if you need us.’
After they’d left, Rodney sighed. ‘Well done, Mum. We can always rely on you to make a bad situation worse. Anyway, now Lily’s back safe and sound, I’ve got to get back to work before I get court martialled for going AWOL. Send Donny if you need me.’
Nellie didn’t move or show any emotion until the door had shut behind Rodney, then she put her head in her hands.
Gladys, who had remained silent throughout, put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. ‘I don’t know why I stick with you sometimes. All the good you do, all the help you give, and then things like this . . . I’d give my eye teeth for everything you have – a family, a man that loves you . . . Honestly, Nell, how could you treat Jasper like that?’
Nellie raised her head and wiped her eyes. ‘I never mean it, Glad. Sometimes it’s like a red mist descends and I can’t seem to stop meself.’
Gladys rolled her eyes. ‘You’re forty-nine years old! Don’t you think you should have learnt to by now? Even your Don’s better at controlling himself than you. Look what happened here the other day, with the police getting tipped off. Seems someone’s got it in for you and if you ask me, you probably deserve it.’
Nellie’s shoulders sagged. ‘I don’t care about that. I know I rub people up the wrong way sometimes. But it’s not that . . .’ She looked up at her friend, tears pooling again in her hazel eyes.
‘What? What is it, Nell? Short of one of them being killed what could be worse than what happened today?’
Nellie swallowed and shook her head. ‘I . . .’ She twisted her fingers together on the table, as though trying to decide what to say. ‘You remember my Donald, don’t you, Glad?’
Gladys’s brow wrinkled. ‘Of course I remember him. I’m not likely to forget, am I?’
‘I mean, how he was?’
Gladys nodded. ‘You both suffered, Nellie. God forgive me, but after my Godfrey got killed in the war and you took me in . . .’ She paused and swallowed. ‘All those years I lived here, there was envy in my heart and sometimes I hated you. You had a husband, kids, the business. And I had nothing. But then when Donald came back . . . As handsome as ever on the outside, but destroyed and ugly on the inside, I thought—’ she crossed herself, but her expression was hard ‘—I thought, I was glad Godfrey was dead rather than having to see him turn into a . . . a monster like your Donald.’
Nellie’s head came up at her vehemence, and Gladys took a deep breath, before continuing in a softer tone. ‘It’s far worse to feel your love die, to watch your husband become a broken, twisted man.’ She put her hand on Nellie’s. ‘And yet, despite that, you kept going. You’re stronger than me, love. Stronger than most women. But your temper’ll be your undoing if you’re not careful.’ She paused for a moment. ‘But how has he got anything to do with what happened just now?’
Nellie shook her head. ‘Donald . . . Do you remember when he nearly strangled me? Thought I was the enemy coming to kill him?’
Gladys nodded. ‘I remember. The doctor drugged him and I sat with him and the kids while Jasper took you to the hospital. Then when you came back, Donald moved in with Jasper for a bit to give you a break. God knows where you’d be without that man. Edie was right, your behaviour were shocking just now.’
Nellie stared at Gladys, desperate to unburden herself, but aware that her friend’s strong faith might mean she’d hate her. Finally, she licked her lips. ‘I’ll tell you where I’d be. I’d be a mother of five. That’s where I’d be.’
Gladys looked confused. ‘Eh?’
‘I’d have three boys and two girls. That’s where I’d be without Jasper. Cos that night . . .’ Nellie swallowed then continued in a whisper, ‘That night, I didn’t go to the hospital. I stayed at Jasper’s.’
Gladys’s mind went back to that time. Edie had been just one, little more than a baby. She used to sit and rock her, pretending that she was her own sweet girl. And some months after the incident, there’d been another baby for her to love . . . She sat back in shock as the realisation hit. ‘Are you telling me that . . . Lily . . . ?’
At Nellie’s nod, Gladys stood up and began to pace in agitation. ‘Then what you said to him just now was even worse than I thought. And how come you never married him?’
‘How could I? How could I when I’d betrayed my own husband when he needed me the most? How could I then leap into the next available bed, as if he’d never existed?’
‘But that’s not—’
‘It is! And now Pauline knows that Lily’s his daughter. She heard me and Jasper talking.’
Gladys shook her head. ‘I know he were ill and it weren’t his fault, but what he did . . . Donald didn’t deserve your loyalty,’ she said harshly. ‘And what do you expect me to say to you? You’ve not just been lying to the kids, but you’ve been lying to everyone else as well. And what of Jasper? He loves you. He loves your children. He could have shown them what it was like to have a father, a decent man to learn from, but you refused to let him be a proper part of the family because of your stubborn pride?’ She stopped as a thought came to her. ‘Did Donald know?’
Nellie nodded miserably. ‘He never forgave us. Either of us. And he never spoke a word to Lily. Not one word. Thank God she never noticed he treated her differently. Thought it was just the way he was.’
Gladys gathered up her bag and went to get her jacket and helmet. ‘You are a stupid, stubborn old fool. You’ve had a good man pining for you, and you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. And what of Lily? How’s she going to feel when the truth comes out? Which it will now that drunken madam knows. Pauline’s resented you since your stupid games when she was nothing but a girl and she’ll use this against you. Like I said, it’s time you grew up and realised that your actions have consequences. And right now, the consequences are that you just might lose your daughter. I’m off before I say something I might regret. But you find a way to clean up this mess, or you’ll not only be looking for a new assistant. You’ll be looking for a new friend.’ With that, she stalked through to the kitchen. ‘And don’t expect me back until you’ve sorted all this out,’ she called through the hatch. Then she left, slamming the back door behind her.
Nellie sat staring straight ahead, afraid to move an inch in case it made her break down completely. Behind her, the parrot stirred in her cage. She’d sat in silence through most of the drama, as though sensing the tension in the air. But now she squawked gently, almost sympathetically. Finally, the dam broke and Nellie dropped her head onto the table and wept. For her children, who might never forgive her; for the love she’d been taking for granted that might now be lost; and for the girl she used to be: so full of joy and hope, never guessing that she would have to live through two world wars and watch her husband destroyed by his own mind.
Soon, though, the tears stopped and she sat up and took a deep breath. Gladys was right. She needed to sort this out, and she was going to start with Jasper.
‘Finished feeling sorry for yourself, have you, Mum?’
She stood up and whirled round. Bert was standing in the doorway, arms folded, his expression inscrutable.
‘How long have you been there?’ she asked, her voice quivering with nerves.
‘Long enough,’ he said tonelessly.
‘You heard me talking to Glad?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Every word. But don’t worry, I won’t be telling Lily; poor love’s got enough to deal with right now. But, Jesus, Mum . . . You have your faults, but one thing I’ve always thought I could rely on is your honesty. No matter whether I wanted the truth or not, I knew you’d give it to me. But now . . .’ He shrugged. ‘I finally realise that you’re nothing but a grubby little liar. And worst of all, you’ve forced one of the best men I know to live a lie right along with you.’ He shook his head. ‘You should be ashamed of yourself.’
Nellie stood stock-still and watched through the window as her youngest son walked across the square. For a moment, her tears blurred her vision and she could have sworn it was Donald, restored to his youthful glory, walking away from her, his back rigid with fury at her betrayal.
Chapter 33
Before she left to find Jasper, Nellie went upstairs to check on her daughter. Opening the bedroom door, she wrinkled her nose at the smell, casting a brief glance at Pauline, who was lying on her back, limbs spread out like a starfish, snoring. Maybe she should speak to the girl, try to find out what she intended to do with the information. She knew, though, that any promise of silence she managed to extract from her would be worthless; it’d only take a few drinks and she’d be spouting her mouth off. But then, maybe it was time for the truth to come out. She’d hoped it would stay buried forever, but maybe that was wrong. And Lily didn’t deserve to hear the truth from a girl in her cups.
She sat down gingerly on Lily’s bed, careful not to wake her. She was lying curled in the foetal position, her glorious blonde hair covering the bruise on her face. Gently, Nellie stroked it away. She was so beautiful, her little girl. So clever and spirited; she couldn’t be prouder of her. Her eyes filled with tears. Lily was the best of her and Jasper; her own fiery nature tempered with Jasper’s kindness. But the brains . . . well, she wasn’t sure where she’d got her brains from. The girl could be anything she wanted. She should have found a way, she thought, to let Lily study to be a doctor. Why hadn’t she? They’d have managed it somehow and Jasper would have helped; he’d offered enough times. But she’d refused because she was worried that Lily would ask questions. She sighed. Everything led back to her stupid pride and the secret that had sat like a stone in her stomach since that terrible night. She shook her head. No, she needed to be honest; Donald’s actions had been terrifying, but over the years, the memory that remained was of Jasper. His gentleness, how he had restored her faith, made her feel cherished and worthy. And given her this most precious gift. Why had she rejected him for all these years?
Carefully, she ran her fingers over the bruise on Lily’s jaw. Her poor baby. What she had suffered today. She would fight tooth and nail to make sure no further harm came to her. The question was, which side of Lily’s nature would win out when she finally told her the truth? Her mother’s impulsive temper or Jasper’s warm understanding? Only time would tell.
Quietly, she got up and tiptoed out of the room. It was time to speak to Jasper. She’d hurt him deeply; she only hoped he could forgive her.
*
Marianne and Edie were in the kitchen with Donny, clearing away the remains of the breakfast service, when Nellie came downstairs. She couldn’t even contemplate opening the café today; especially not after what she’d learnt about her neighbours’ reactions to Lily’s arrest. She felt deeply betrayed by their willingness to believe that her daughter could have been involved in helping a prisoner to escape.
‘I’m going to talk to Jasper,’ she said. ‘How is he?’
‘How do you think?’ Edie replied, clattering a pan on to the range.
‘He’s very sad, Gran. And you need to apologise,’ Donny said from his chair at the small kitchen table where he was eating a sandwich.
Nellie stroked his hair. ‘That’s exactly what I intend to do, love. And while I’m gone and the café is closed, I want you to mop the floor and wash the dishes in the pantry.’
