Lady Elizabeth's Affectionate Heart, page 6
“Elizabeth, that was years ago. We are adults now and as such we must behave differently,” he replied. “There are things in life that require us to mature and grow up sooner than we planned to.”
“If that is how you view life, dear Cousin, then I will remember that the next time I see a social-climbing witch holding camp outside a room waiting to entrap you into a marriage,” Elizabeth said. “Excuse me, my gown is stained, and I am expected back for another set.”
“Elizabeth, wait…” Darcy begged, but she was already running away.
He could have followed her and told her the truth of his feelings, but it seemed every time he opened his mouth she had already decided to misunderstand him. He owed her so much for setting Caroline straight, but if he could not get her to speak to him, he would never be able to convey his gratitude. He had made their relationship worse, and it was eating him inside.
Because of what happened with Miss Bingley, Darcy found a pretext to return to London earlier. This was the only way he knew he would be able to work through the turmoil crowding both his head and his heart. He decided he had to stop loving Elizabeth, but even for someone as disciplined in harnessing his emotions as he was, that seemed impossible.
Chapter 8
Elizabeth ran up the stairs, her heart beating faster than she would ever felt before. Once in the safety of her room, she felt her legs gave in and she collapsed on the floor. Trying desperately to calm her breathing, she began exhaling dramatically to steady the blurriness of the place around her. After a few minutes stuck in this position, she gathered herself together and summoned Sarah.
Needing to sort through her thoughts, she walked to the middle of her bed and let the weight of her body pull her down. Upon replaying in her head the events that occurred Elizabeth was certain of three things: she had saved Fitzwilliam from the claws of Caroline Bingley, he grew up and accepted his fate, and the one that hurt the most was the realization that she had not. All this time she was treating his change in behaviour as a fault, chose not to acknowledge the fact that he was now the Master of Pemberley and a guardian of his little sister, being only one and twenty. He should enjoy his young life and not being responsibility for so many things.
Elizabeth closed her eyes and let the pain of humiliation sweep over. She could not believe how oblivious she had been to her cousin’s struggles. The losses of his mother and then father, becoming the Master of Pemberley and finally events with Georgiana at Ramsgate were struggles that could not have been overcome without great difficulty. Elizabeth felt the tears streaming down her cheeks as it dawned on her that she was the one mistreating Fitzwilliam by assuming the worst of him when really he was everything the man should be.
*****
Darcy refused to stand alone after Miss Bingley’s offensive display in the hall, thus he shadowed Bingley as his life depended on it. As another set ended, he joined his friend as he conversed with Miss Bennet and Miss Lucas. All was going well until an unknown man joined their group.
“Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure to finally meet the nephew of my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh,” the man said raising his chin and straightening his posture to stand with an air of an all-knowing arrogance, failing to acknowledge that he shouldn’t have talked to the gentleman without a proper introduction.
“And who are you?” Darcy responded.
“Mr. William Collins, Sir. I...”
Offended by little man’s rude behaviour, Darcy ignored his little talk immediately and turned his head not even hiding an annoyance with the person. He noticed Elizabeth descending the stairs wearing a different gown and forgetting all about the pompous ramblings of Collins, Darcy excused himself and walked towards the staircase. Just as Elizabeth took the last step, he was at her side.
“Elizabeth, may I?” Darcy asked a little uncertain of himself, holding his arm up and locking his eyes with the lady’s.
“Fitzwilliam, may I speak with you in private?” she responded placing her hand upon her cousin’s arm. “It seems I am late for this set but I hope Mr. Bingley isn’t going to be much offended. He is an excellent host.”
“Of course,” he said, leading her towards the balcony. “And don’t worry over Bingley. He probably already found another woman to dance with. He is excellent at this. I mean at finding ladies to dance,” Darcy mumbled as they reached the marble railings.
“Fitzwilliam, I owe you an apology,” Lizzy spoke turning to him and holding up her hand as he wanted to speak. “Before you say anything, please allow me to finish,” she said pressing her lips together trying to formulate the apology she knew her cousin deserved. “I have been a fool,” she admitted finally daring to meet Darcy’s eyes. “I accused you of changing and behaving arrogantly when in reality you have done nothing but become the man every parent hopes their own son will become.”
“Elizabeth, please you have nothing to apologize for.”
“But I do. You have overcome so much in so little time and I have let my selfish expectations of what was once our youth ruin the bond we shared. Will you forgive me?” Elizabeth asked looking hopefully at the gentleman.
“Elizabeth, there is nothing to forgive,” Darcy replied placing a hand over hers that was resting on the marble. “Let’s just forget about it and... will you dance the next set with me?”
She laughed and then sighed. “I have been expecting some serious talk. You are too good to me.”
“Nonsense,” he said and held his arm up. “Will you dance with me?” He repeated the request smiling.
“I will,” she answered slipping her hand underneath Darcy’s arm. “Do you know this will be the first time you and I dance since my mother have made you and Richard practice with me when I was ten?”
“In my defence, it is Aunt Catherine’s fault that I am not able to ask you during the balls. This woman is everywhere where I go.”
“Let me guess, she says: ‘Darcy, Anne need you, do not leave her side for one second as you know her health will not stand for it?’” Lizzy imitated Lady Catherine and could not hold her laughter any longer. It was amazing how easily their aunt could manipulate Fitzwilliam to do whatever she wanted.
Darcy accepted Elizabeth’s teasing with pleasure. Seeing and hearing her laugh was a sight that he was sure would melt anyone’s heart. He led her to the bench on the side of the doors leading back into the ballroom when she asked him to get her some punch.
As she waited for him to return, her thoughts settled on how much lighter the weight on her shoulders felt now that she and Darcy were on friendly terms once more. She really missed it.
Suddenly loud giggling pulled her attention. Looking towards the railing, Elizabeth noticed Jane’s younger sisters Lydia and Kitty speaking animatedly to a few officers. Knowing it was wrong to eavesdrop, Lizzy turned her head in a different direction but as much as she tried not to listen, the two Bennet sisters’ words have been reaching her ears.
“It was nice of Mr. Bingley to invite the militia,” one girl said giggling for no reason.
“What a shame Mr. Wickham could not come,” responded the second sister.
“He said he would not attend because of a certain gentleman who was also attending. Being the considerate man that he is, Wickham decided to avoid ruining the evening and stayed in town,” the man of militia replied.
When Elizabeth heard the name, she gasped silently to herself. She stood and very discreetly removed herself from the balcony in search of her cousin. She spotted him standing at the beverage table talking to some man and by the look on Fitzwilliam’s face, Elizabeth knew he was just about to lose his patience. Walking briskly towards the table, she placed her hand on his arm and tried to relieve the situation.
“There you are, Cousin. I’ve come in search for you as our set is nearly beginning,” she said smiling politely at the unknown man and trying to urge her cousin towards the dance floor.
“Mr. Darcy, you have yet to introduce me to…” Mr. Collins blurted before Elizabeth could pull Fitzwilliam away.
“This is Lady Elizabeth, a daughter of the Earl of Matlock,” Darcy said, his voice seething with irritation. All he wanted was to retrieve Lizzy a drink, but the annoying pastor found him and would not stop talking. “Cousin, this is Mr. Collins, a--“
“Lady Elizabeth, it is an honour to meet you. I am not aware if you know that Lady Catherine de Bourgh is my most gracious patroness,” Collins interrupted Darcy’s introduction and eagerly took her hand and bowed over it. Elizabeth gently but firmly removed it when she realized the man wanted to kiss it.
“Greetings, Mr. Collins, if you’ll excuse us,” she said gently, pulling Fitzwilliam towards the line of people assembled for the next set. “I wondered what took you so long. Who is that funny man and isn’t he mad? No one in their right mind would praise Aunt Catherine.”
“She is his patroness, and he is mad,” Darcy replied. “He is also, from what I have learned, the heir to the Bennet estate.”
“What?” Elizabeth whispered in shock as she nearly missed a step in the dance.
“Bingley says the fool is here to take a wife,” Darcy replied trying hard to enjoy his dance with Elizabeth, but with Collins stand near the dance floor, he could not help but glare.
“A wife? Oh, goodness, I hope it isn’t Jane! She is the eldest and if he is an heir...” Elizabeth searched the room for any sight of her friend and she saw her standing with Mr. Collins directly to her left and with Mrs. Bennet to her right. “Good heavens, does that woman have no tact? We must do something. Jane cannot be forced to attach herself to Mr. Collins. We both know her attentions lie elsewhere,” Elizabeth stated giving Darcy a serious plea for help.
“Elizabeth, it is none of our business. Now, focus, you are missing the proper steps.”
“I cannot focus when my good friend is on the brink of being forced into marriage with an imbecile like Mr. Collins. All because her vulgar mother cannot think of anything other than marrying her children off to the first man that comes knocking.”
“Drop it, Elizabeth. It is not our place. I will not discuss this further,” Darcy replied giving her a stern look signifying the end of that conversation.
Elizabeth hated that look and as much as she wanted to push further, she knew she would get nothing out of him. Taking a deep breath, she remembered the conversation she overheard on the balcony.
“If you do not want to speak about Jane, fine, but I must inform you of some alarming news I just discovered while waiting for your return to the balcony,” Elizabeth waited until the dance brought her cousin closer to proceed. “Mr. Wickham is in Meryton,” she whispered and the look she received from Darcy spoke louder than any words could express.
“Where did you hear this from?”
“Miss Bennet’s younger sisters were on the balcony with a member of the militia who said that Mr. Wickham did not attend the ball because of a certain gentleman,” Elizabeth answered keeping a watchful eye on how quickly Fitzwilliam’s facial expression went from irritation to absolute rage. “What are you going to do?”
“Nothing. You and I are leaving in the morning,” Darcy stated, avoiding eye contact with Elizabeth.
“Leaving? Fitzwilliam, you must inform Mr. Bennet or a local magistrate. You cannot leave these people unaware of the type of person Mr. Wickham is!” She protested. The dance had ended and Darcy was pulled her quickly to where Elizabeth assumed they would be able to have this conversation in private.
“Elizabeth, this is a sensitive matter that does not involve you. Neither you nor I will say anything. Does it occur to you the risk Georgiana is at if the information of our connection with Wickham gets out? She would be ruined. You and I are leaving in the morning and that is final,” Darcy ordered and without another word from Elizabeth, he walked her toward Mrs. Hurts and left her there.
For the second time that evening, Lizzy could feel her heart beat as if it were outside her chest. Before she knew it, her feet were moving in the direction of Jane and she knew what she must do to protect her friend from both Collins and Wickham. Taking her by the arm, Elizabeth pulled her towards her room. Once they reached it, she shut the door behind them.
“Lizzy, what is the matter?”
“Jane, there is something I need to inform you and I need you to trust me. Although I cannot give you particulars, I just need you to trust what I am about to reveal to you,” Elizabeth took Jane by the hand and led her to sit on the chairs in front of the fire.
“Of course, Lizzy. You are my closest friend and I trust you,” Jane replied giving Elizabeth’s hand a reassuring squeeze.
“There is no other way to say this but to be straight forward, you must keep your sisters away from Mr. Wickham,” Elizabeth said meeting Jane’s eyes to see if she understood her meaning.
“Lizzy, he seems kind, and you know my sisters are very fond of the militia.”
“Yes, but he is not the person you may believe him to be. I must ask you, Jane, do not let your guard down in front of him. He is a snake. And you must protect your sisters; you must keep them away from him.”
“You have my word, Lizzy. I will try to ensure they keep their distance from Mr. Wickham,” Jane promised.
“Also, you cannot let your mother force Mr. Collins upon you,” Elizabeth blurted out knowing she was sticking her nose where it did not belong.
“He is to inherit Longbourn after my father’s death, Lizzy. Mother says we must ensure that our family is taken care of...”
“But you love Mr. Bingley and there is no doubt in my mind that he loves you. Your mother wants only to see that your home is secure, but what about your happiness, Jane?”
“Lizzy, the heart cannot always have what it wants,” Jane said, her voice full of heartbreak.
“You will never be happy married to this fool! You must make your feelings known to Mr. Bingley. He loves you, Jane, and that look you are giving me tells me that he is the one you love as well.”
“Mr. Collins has already hinted to my mother of his intentions,” Jane replied staring at the fire as if it would change anything. “At first, she had directed him towards my sister Mary, but the man keeps following me everywhere.”
“Jane, I will distract Mr. Collins for the remainder of the night. Mr. Bingley is pinning for your attention, and he only needs a sign from you and I’m sure your happy ending will not be far behind,” Elizabeth proposed pulling Jane to her feet and hugging her in encouragement.
“Lizzy, I do not know if I can do that. I cannot me that bold as you are,” Jane admitted.
“Think of dancing with Mr. Collins. Think of being his wife. Think of bearing his children,” Elizabeth countered arching a challenging eyebrow at Jane. “And then think about all these things but replace the man with Mr. Bingley. Whom you prefer?”
As they made their way back to the ball, Lizzy went straight for the crowd where Charlotte was standing with Mr. Collins. She was determined to endure the ridiculous comments Mr. Collins was saying if it meant Jane would have time with Mr. Bingley. And whenever the man made a move closer towards Jane, Lizzy would gently smile at him and with a bit of force pull him towards another part of the room as if making him her personal escort for the evening. It pained her to listen to him babble about Rosings; he had spent most of the evening talking about the bricks that made the new fireplace in the main sitting room or about the new carpet in the parlour. But just when she thought she was about to lose her mind, her eyes wandered to the dance floor where the sight of Jane and Mr. Bingley enjoying themselves reminded her of why she was tolerating Collins’s stupidity. Luckily for her, Charlotte was not participating in every set and was able to distract the pastor with her company as well until the ball finally came to an end.
*****
Elizabeth wanted to stretch her legs before she would have to spend the day cramped inside the carriage with Darcy. Although she was quite furious with him for not talking with anyone about Wickham, she was at least grateful to have warned Jane.
Turning to walk towards the direction of Netherfield, she took her time to enjoy nature’s untouched beauty. Reaching the gardens, she made to enter through the second level using the stairs on the outside, but a harsh ordering tone made her detour towards the side to see what all the fussing was about. Coming to the front of the house, Elizabeth froze trying to make sense of what was before her.
She saw three carriages parking out in front to the servant’s entrance and the stuff exiting the house with trunks and personal items. Noticing her cousin standing near their carriage, she finally put her feet in motion.
“Fitzwilliam, what is the meaning of this?” She asked looking expectedly at him.
“Mr. Bingley has decided to return with us to London,” Darcy answered coldly.
“What?” Elizabeth shrieked, turning to scan the area for Mr. Bingley. She spotted him standing behind Caroline. “What about Jane?” She whispered to herself. “Fitzwilliam, why is he leaving and is he planning to return?”
“Elizabeth, you seem to be very interested with other’s affairs lately.”
“Lady Elizabeth, you’ve returned,” Miss Bingley greeted her with a snake smile plastered on her face. “Now we can be on our way.”
“Come, Elizabeth, it’s time for us to leave,” Darcy said, his voice firm.
Fitzwilliam assisted Elizabeth into the carriage, his heart heavy seeing her so distraught. He sat across from her wanting to comfort her, but he could not know what to say not starting another fight between them. Darcy admired her kind and generous heart, and her unselfishness towards people but her interest and attempts to interfere with Bingley’s plans was too much even for him.
“Was it Miss Bingley’s doing or yours”? She asked sternly after spending an hour in complete silence.
He groaned. "Of what are you accusing me now?"
"I am not accusing you of anything only asking..."
"You are asking about the things that are not your business, Elizabeth."
