Heaven Sent Husband, page 15
“I’d like it a lot.”
They had reached the door, Ket opened it quietly. She saw Denny Ray propped up in bed. He was watching television. “Hi,” he said wanly as she stepped in.
“Hi, Denny Ray, I brought Dr. Pierce with me.”
“Hello, Denny Ray.” Jared went over and stood on one side of the boy’s bed while Ket stationed herself on the other.
“How are you feeling today?” Ket asked. She did not really need his answer, for she knew he was not feeling well. His eyes were dull, and there was a hollowness in his cheeks that she had not noticed before.
“Not too good,” Denny Ray murmured. He looked up at Jared and said, “Are you going to poke at me some more?”
“No, I’m not here for an exam, Denny Ray. I just came for a visit.”
Jared and Ket sat down and Denny Ray said, “I’ve been watching Super Sam. I’ve seen the videos so many times I know them by heart.”
“I’ve got something you might enjoy, Denny Ray,” Jared said quickly. “I love videos about animals, especially the National Geographic Society series. Would you like to see some of them?”
“Sure. I like to watch things about animals. Have you got the one where the cheetah runs down the deer?”
“I believe I have.” Jared smirked. “It’s a favorite of mine.”
“I can’t stand it!” Ket shuddered. “That poor deer!”
“You don’t say, ‘Oh, the poor little cow,’ when you eat a hamburger.” Jared grinned, then turned to Denny Ray. “I’ll bring you a whole boxful tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I’d like that.”
“Do you have a favorite sport, Denny Ray?”
“I used to play baseball before I got sick.”
“Is that right? What position?”
“First base.”
“I played ball myself when I was just a little older than you.”
“Did you play in the big leagues?”
“No.” Jared laughed. “I wasn’t that good. I got hurt and had to become a doctor instead.”
“That’s too bad,” Denny Ray said, studying the tall doctor with interest. “I bet you wish you could have gone on and played in the majors.”
“Well, not really. I enjoyed ball, but now I like to do other things. But when you get well, how about you and I take in a baseball game?”
A long silence came then and Denny Ray looked over toward Ket. “I don’t know,” he said slowly, “if I’m going to get well.”
“Denny Ray, don’t talk like that!” Ket said quickly. She leaned over the bed and put her arm around his thin shoulders.
“I feel so bad. I’m not getting any better at all.”
“You mustn’t give up, Denny Ray. You remember the sick people that Jesus found and healed? The blind, and the sick and the lame—and even the dead.”
“But that was a long time ago.”
“He’s still the same Jesus today. He’s just as alive as He was then.”
“Then why don’t He heal me now?”
It was an old question, and Ket’s eyes met those of Jared who was watching quietly. “We never know about things like that. Sometimes in our suffering God is doing something that He can’t do any other way. Look at Joseph, for example. You remember how we read about him last week? His own brothers threw him into a pit and were going to kill him, and he went to prison, and all kinds of terrible things happened.”
“I remember that. He sure had a hard time.”
“Yes, but at the end of the story you remember he became the highest-ranking official in the land except for the pharaoh, and he kept his people from starving to death and he saved his family.”
“That’s right, but I don’t see that God could do anything like that with me.”
Ket was at a loss to help Denny Ray. She had said everything she could and she empathized with his pain. As she stood there struggling, suddenly Jared began to speak. “I know it’s tough, Denny Ray,” he said. “You know when you’re in a dentist chair getting a tooth filled, you think it’ll never end. But it does. You’ve got a good gal out here. Nurse Ketura Lindsey is praying for you, she tells me. I don t know anybody I’d rather have praying for me than her.” He went on speaking softly in an encouraging manner, and Ket was pleased to see that it meant a lot to the sick boy.
“Will you pray for me, too, Dr. Pierce?”
“I do pray for you, Denny Ray. How about if we pray right now?”
“Okay.”
Ket took one of Denny Ray’s hands and Jared took the other. He began to pray in a soft voice, and Ket found her eyes growing moist for she could feel the compassion in him. It was a side of him she had only glimpsed once or twice, but now saw clearly. He’s one of those doctors who really loves people, she thought. Not all of them do.
Finally Jared ended his prayer then stood up and smiled. “I’ll bring the videos by for you tomorrow, Denny Ray.”
“Okay. That’ll be good.”
Jared was silent as they walked down the hall. “This sort of thing gives you a helpless feeling, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, but God’s able.”
“Yes, He is.” He hesitated, then said, “You’re off tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.” She wondered how he knew. He must have asked someone if she was scheduled to work on Saturday.
“Suppose we take a ride somewhere? Maybe to the zoo, or out to a lake. Someplace out of the city where we can just relax.”
“That sounds great, Jared. I’d love to, honestly. But I promised to chaperone one of the youth groups from church to Adventure Land. There’ll be about eight or nine of them. I’m dreading it. I love them, but they go wild as soon as they get inside.”
“Could you use some help?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t want to do that.”
“Sure I would. I’m just a kid at heart.”
Ket tried to dissuade him, but he was adamant. “I haven’t been to Adventure Land in years. It’ll be good for me. I love the rides, especially the scary ones. Will you go on some of them with me?”
“Yes. I love them, too.” As Ket studied Jared’s face she was aware that he had changed—and that made her very happy.
Chapter Thirteen
The late-night hours passed slowly. Jared’s day with Ketura and the church youth group at Adventure Land had been fun, but exhausting. Still, he couldn’t sleep. He’d finally given up, pulled on his bathrobe and tried to study some medical texts, a “never-fail” cure for insomnia. But even that remedy hadn’t helped. He was all stirred up—images and feelings from the day swirling around his tired brain.
He still considered himself quite young, but being with teenagers made him remember what real youthful energy was all about. The kids had all been fairly well behaved, but probably more than Ketura could have handled on her own. He was glad he’d offered to go along and help her. Ketura had certainly been grateful.
They’d had a great day and just as he’d promised, they rode the Dragon Coaster together. He’d loved sitting close to her in the car, watching her eyes grow wide and hearing her shriek with terrified delight. He’d loved the way she’d squeezed his hand as the car slowly climbed a steep hill, and then buried her head in his shoulder as they came flying down the other side. He’d never enjoyed an amusement park so much as he had today, with Ketura. When he stopped to think about it, everything seemed better by her side; even the simplest pleasures, like eating an ice-cream cone or driving down the highway into a rosy-hued sunset. Lately he wondered how he’d ever gotten along before he’d met her. He’d been stumbling along through life, with his eyes half-closed, like a sleepwalker. She made him feel so much more aware, more alive—more grateful.
They’d dropped off the kids at the church, where they were met by the teens’ parents. Then Jared took Ketura out for a quick bite, just a hamburger. They were both feeling logy from the amusement park and too tired to handle anything more. Though it was still early enough to catch a movie, Ketura had looked so beat that Jared drove her straight home. She fell asleep on the short ride from the restaurant, and she looked so lovely and peaceful, he hardly had the heart to wake her. Finally, he leaned over and gently touched her hair, then gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. Her eyes flew open with surprise, but she looked back at him with pleasure and a tender light in her eyes as she reached up and touched his face with her hand.
“Is this a dream?” she asked quietly.
“No…not at all.”
“Feels like one,” she answered.
He smiled down at her. “I know what you mean. But here…I’ll prove it to you.” Then he kissed her again, a slow, sweet, almost innocent kiss that somehow shook him to his core.
Ket finally pulled away, staring up at him. He could see she’d felt it, too.
How he longed to pull her back into his arms and savor her warmth and softness! Somehow he resisted. She was different from so many of the other women he’d dated. She was sweet and modest. Guileless, which made her all the more appealing to him. She was clearly less experienced with men, too, and he knew he had to be careful with her. Careful about her feelings. He didn’t want to ever disappoint her.
More than that, she was special. He’d never realized how special until just these past weeks. She was unique. A gem. And he was determined to treat her that way.
Finally, he’d walked her to the front door and chastely kissed her on the brow.
Getting her out of his mind tonight was not that easy, though. She was never far from his thoughts lately. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but he knew he’d never quite felt this way about a woman before. What to do about those feelings was another question all together.
Jared closed his textbook abruptly and got up from his desk. He poured some milk into a saucepan, heated it slowly, then poured it out into a mug. Standing at the window, he stared outside and was mesmerized by the array of stars that spangled the heavens. Stepping out, he leaned forward and picked out the familiar constellations—Orion, the Big Dipper, the Lion. It always made him feel somehow significant. Some had said the immensity of space frightened them and made them feel small, but Jared always answered, “If God made all of this, then He’s a mighty God. Space is simply proof of his immense, creative powers.”
He finally lay on the couch, which was far too short for him, but he did not want to go back to bed again. He turned on his side, bent his knees and put his arm under his head. He lay there uncomfortably for a time thinking of Ket. He knew that there was a love for her in him. It had been growing slowly and he thought back to when they were children. He had always teased her then, as boys will tease girls, but he had found her always to be honest. He thought back over the high school days and all the dating games he had played. Not once had he ever asked Ket out, but now he was filled with the strange wish that he had done so.
“All the girls I went with, and not one of them had her character,” he said aloud. He got up, rubbed his neck, which was stiff and painful, and stood in the middle of the room. “I wasn’t looking for character in those days. I was looking to date the best-looking girl or the most popular girl. Ket was never any of that except for valedictorian and I wasn’t around then.” Ruefully he admitted, “I wasn’t impressed by brains in those days, just by pretty faces, nice clothes and popularity.”
The night finally passed with Jared sleeping for perhaps two hours. He got up and staggered to the bathroom where he showered, shaved and dressed. Leaving his apartment, he went at once to church. He took a seat in the balcony and joined in the worship rather absentmindedly. From where he sat he could see Ket in her accustomed spot down close to the front. Her hair was shining and he fancied he could hear her clear, alto voice rising with the music to the balcony but he could not be sure.
Finally the service was over and Jared lurked outside. He saw Ket say goodbye to her parents then head for her own car. Wanting to have a word with her alone, he waited until she was inside and her parents were gone. Quickly he stepped in front of the car and came around to the window.
“I didn’t see you in church. Where were you, Jared?” Ket asked with surprise.
“I was up in the balcony.”
“What were you doing up there? Did you get here late?”
“I’ve got to talk to you, Ket.”
“Why—sure. Get in.”
Ket waited until Jared folded his long length into the car, and then said, “Why don’t we go to the park? It’s quiet enough there on a Sunday afternoon.”
“That’s fine.”
The park was almost empty, just a few strollers going by. Jared followed Ket to a bench beside a large pond inhabited by flamingos and ducks. She asked, “Do you want to sit down?”
“Sure.” Jared sat down beside Ket and draped his arm over the back of the bench. He stretched his legs out and was silent for so long that Ket said, “What’s wrong?”
Turning to Ket, Jared said, “You know, I didn’t sleep last night. I was thinking about—well, about you, Ket.”
“About me?”
“Yes. I’ve never felt toward any woman the way I do toward you.”
Despite the messages she’d been receiving from the Lord, Ket was stunned by this. “I don’t know…what to say.”
“I’m not surprised,” Jared said wryly. He let his hand drop on her shoulder and squeezed it. “I’ve been so mixed-up that it’s pitiful. A grown man not knowing his own mind!”
“About what?”
“Everything, pretty much.” Jared shrugged. Her shoulder was strong under his fingers and he turned his eyes on her, saying, “I’ve been thinking all night about how I set my sights on the wrong things.”
“What kind of wrong things?”
“Oh, nothing really bad. I’m not talking about becoming a doctor. I know God wants me to do that. I’ve always felt it, I think. I fooled around with the idea of earning my living playing baseball, but even if I hadn’t been injured, I don’t think I would have stuck with it. But I’m not talking about that now. I mean back in school. I got caught up in the dating game.”
“I remember that. I think you started out to date all the girls alphabetically. I guess Lindsey was too far down the line.”
“Oh, it wasn’t quite that bad!” Jared protested, then he suddenly removed his arm and locked his fingers together. “Yes, it was that bad, or worse. I wanted to date the most popular girls.”
Ket laughed. “That’s not unusual. That’s why they’re called ‘popular.’”
“I’m serious, Ket. I think all my life I’ve been mixed-up about success. That’s what was wrong between me and Lisa. We just saw things differently. She wants success in the worldly way and I’m convinced that’s worthless. I had just a taste of that and it doesn’t last.”
“No, it doesn’t. What do you want? Are you sure that you’re not still in love with Lisa?”
“I never was,” Jared said slowly. “Thought I was, but looking back on it now, it was just like trying to date the most popular girl in school. She was a beauty queen going to be a movie star, but that’s not enough.” He said in an understated tone, “She’s not for me, Ket.” He took a deep breath then reached out and took her hand and held it. “You’re for me,” he said.
Ket sat absolutely still. His hand was warm and strong on hers and there was something in his eyes that she had always longed to see in a man’s eyes. It was love and respect and faithfulness, and for one moment she was tempted to simply throw her arms around him.
The same feelings had been building slowly inside of her, day by day, as she’d gotten to know him. She admired and respected him. She saw his goodness and worth. She saw him struggling to do right, to be generous and kind. To be a good doctor, to contribute and make a difference in the world. On so many topics, they shared the same view, the same values. Not the least of it, they could talk for hours on end, about serious matters, but also make each other laugh. Ketura could admit it now, even if only to herself. She loved Jared and would be the happiest woman alive if she could make her life with him.
Still, something was holding her back. While she was thrilled to hear him say he cared for her, the moment scared her, too. She suddenly felt so confused, so unsure of herself. Perhaps she simply wanted this too much and had wanted it for such a long time. Now that it was coming to pass, she couldn’t believe it was real. The thought was so…overwhelming. She couldn’t trust it.
She looked up and saw Jared watching her, still waiting for her response. She reached out and took his hand. “It’s just that I feel…so confused.”
Surprise washed across his handsome face. “Why, Ketura, you’re the most levelheaded person I know. Don’t tell me you’re as mixed-up as I am.”
“I want to say what I feel for you…but I’m afraid to.”
Jared stared at her a moment, then looked away. She wondered if she’d hurt his feelings. It took courage to open your heart to another person, as he had just done. She could tell that she hadn’t given him the answer he’d wanted…or expected. He stared down at her hand, which looked small held in his.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I didn’t mean to shock you. Or rush you. I know that you haven’t dated much and this is all new to you. It’s new to me, too. Honestly. This has all happened so fast. Maybe I should’ve waited to tell you how I feel. But I just couldn’t somehow.” He shook his head, then looked up at her, meeting her gaze with a tender smile. “I think there’s something good between us, Ketura. Something…wonderful, really. I know how I feel, in my heart. That’s not going to change,” he promised. “But it looks like we’re both a little confused right now. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other better and get used to the idea.”
Ketura nodded. His words helped her feel more settled inside, more hopeful, too. Jared slipped his arm around her and pulled her close. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.
“There is something good between us. Something truly special,” she said quietly. “Let’s wait and see what God will do.”
