The Ash Queen, page 2
Dunstan shook his head. He could not ask her for anything, could not hope that she would want to be close to him. “She stayed with me when I was injured?” he asked, although he was sure she had. She had been there when the world appeared clearer, as though her being in it had made it so.
Frayne nodded. “Magic had nearly taken your life, and so we needed magic to ensure you didn’t die.”
“She sang,” Dunstan whispered, lost in the odd flashes of memory, trying to make sense of them.
“She doesn’t sing enough,” Frayne replied, the shawl still in his hands. “But that does not answer the question. You spent so long wanting her dead. Is that still the case?”
“No,” Dunstan replied, focusing on the sword rather than the hurt and worry he could see in his son’s face. “I’m not sure I ever wanted that.”
“If you had found her sooner after my death, would you have killed her?”
“I thought so,” Dunstan replied easily. “But if I had seen her face, those fiery eyes, I might have tried to save her.”
“Might have?” Frayne asked gently, and he looked up.
“It is hard when the woman you love is believed to have taken your son. I was confused as to what she might have been. I know now that I wasn’t, that she is as she has always been.”
“A servant to the royal family.” Frayne’s words sounded harsh.
“I did care for her, more than I should have,” Dunstan answered honestly.
Frayne studied him without comment.
“I still care for her, and not just because she is your mother.”
“You hoped I was her child,” Frayne said.
“You are, in a way. You feel that, you understand that, even though the rest of us do not.”
The young man nodded then, looking more at ease. “It scared me and yet gave me peace for the first time.”
“So how do we save her?” Dunstan asked, a little more desperately than he intended. Nelda was still a witch, and as far as the laws went, witches had to die.
“You are King—it should be easy.”
Dunstan gave a snort of a laugh. “Nothing is easy as King. You will learn that when you are King.”
“I’m not sure I want to be,” Frayne admitted. “And yet I know it is where I must be.”
Dunstan nodded agreement. He had not wanted to be there either.
“I don’t understand why your sword is in a box, or why you did not move into your father’s rooms.”
“The world was easier from a smaller space. I did not believe I deserved the comfort, and I was in the throne room. On the throne, a king should be seen by the people.”
“I understand the pull of the throne,” Frayne replied. “But you are King and a soldier of the people, and my papa told me a man should always carry his sword.”
“I didn’t want to use it,” he said, unsure why he was admitting such a thing. At what point had he feared using it? Had he really seen too much blood as King? Had he taken too much pleasure in the killing of women?
“Can I give this back to Mother?” Frayne asked, holding tight to the blue cloth in his hands. Dunstan wondered at how well it had lasted. The scent of the wood had likely seeped into it and stolen any scent of hers that might have lingered on the material.
“I’m not sure she would want the reminder,” he answered, knowing she would look just as spectacular wrapped in it as she had all those years ago. He blew out a soft breath. He was never going to be able to hold on to her. “Where is your brother?” he asked, moving the subject away from Nelda.
“He left with Uncle in search of the queen.”
The king walked away from the chest and looked around the room, wondering if any of this would ever make sense. “He accepts you as Nelda’s children,” he said softly.
“Father, what can you tell me?”
“Nothing,” Dunstan admitted, looking back at his son. “I have no idea what has happened, where all the magic has come from or who is responsible. The queen is not what I had thought she was, the cardinal has disappeared after possibly eating a girl, or biting her at least. Now the monks are gone, and the gods look down on empty halls of worship. I long to bring the sisters inside the walls of Sunsong to keep them safe, and yet I know they will not come. Sisters roamed the halls when we were children, singing praise to the Goddess, working with children. And yet now they are gone, and Sunsong feels emptier for it, and I do not know when it happened or why.”
“Do you think they all sing like Mother?”
Dunstan shook his head—there was nothing like the sound of her voice. “There is magic in it,” he said.
Frayne nodded and smiled as though it was obvious to all, but Dunstan was not sure that was the case. She had always sung, and in his darkest moments he had thought she had used it to enchant him, to lead him astray, to distract him so that she could harm his child. But she had sung when they were younger, when he saw her playing in the courtyard with her brother, and in the distance in a chapel with her mother.
“They were always connected to us,” he said, heading for the door.
“Who?” Frayne asked, catching him up and grabbing his arm before he reached it.
“The Graewyth family.”
“To serve,” Frayne said.
“No, I think it was more than that.”
“Where are you going?” Frayne asked.
“To find the truth.”
Chapter 3
Nelda breathed in the sweet scent of the garden, reminded again that she had visited it so rarely before. She had been thinking about Dunstan, which confused her. She had a story in her mind as to what they had been, how he considered her, and then not so long ago, he had held her hand and made her promise not to leave.
She looked out over the grass where Pip lay in the sun, moving her arms and legs back and forth, her eyes closed and a wide grin on her face. She was older than she appeared, yet Nelda often forgot how young a child she was. She had barely had the chance to be a child in the few years she had lived. Nelda wondered if there had been such an opportunity before she had arrived at the convent.
“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered, still smiling.
“It does,” Nelda replied as she stood up, feeling a little stiffer than expected. It had been a long number of days with little sleep and sitting on cold benches. She sat down awkwardly beside Pip and then lay down. The sun was glorious. She sat back up and slipped her shoes off.
As she lay back down and turned to look at Pip, the girl was smiling at her. Pip reached out and took her hand. “I am as I am, and for now we are safe.”
“How long might that last?” Nelda asked. She did not really want to know the answer. She had spent time trying to forget what the past held, and she understood she should already be dead. But she needed to be safe, needed to make sure she was here for those who needed her. For the moment, that was Pip, but Frayne and Heath were always forefront, and Dunstan was confusing her.
“He is clear in his heart,” the child whispered.
Nelda wanted to prevent Pip reading the thoughts swirling through her mind. And yet, Pip understood so much. She might be able to help untangle those thoughts. Nelda pulled out of her hold then, but the child turned, leaning up on an elbow to snuggle into her side.
“I love you too,” Nelda whispered. “I don’t want to use you.”
“We are as we are. I can answer your questions; you can keep me safe.”
“I hope so,” Nelda returned. “Only I’m not so sure we are safe.”
“One threat gone, another steps closer,” Pip replied quietly, sleepily, as though she was drifting in the sun. Nelda wondered what that threat might be or even which one was gone. The queen had disappeared.
The breeze swung the long, slender branches above them, the leaves rustled, and Grace came to mind. At the idea of her, the world stilled around Nelda.
Frozen in time, she looked about, wondering if Grace was nearby and not gone to the Goddess as she had thought. Or as she had hoped. It would be such a shame for the girl to be lost to the world yet trapped at the edge of it. A terrible life followed by a cruel death. She sighed, and the little one closed her arms tighter around her.
“Can we stay here?” Nelda asked. “Can we pretend the world doesn’t exist and live in the sunshine forever?”
“Frayne needs you,” Pip replied. “The crown needs us. That is what Grace told us we need to do. We can’t hide any longer, Nelda.”
“I know,” Nelda sighed, “but I don’t want to search it out.”
“It will find us soon enough.” As the words were spoken, the world shifted again. The sun ducked behind a cloud, the breeze cooled, and they sat up together, looking over the garden. Nelda focused on the shadows she had thought she’d seen in the grove with the graves that now appeared to be pushing into the space around them.
A fireball formed in her hand before she could think of whether it was a good idea or who else might see them. She wondered then at their separating so soon after the shadows had been defeated in the throne room. Nuris and Heath had headed out in search of the queen; West and Ymma had their own task, although she was not sure what that was.
“Magic,” Pip whispered. “Everything is magic.”
“Did he know what she was?” Nelda asked. The child looked out into the trees rather than answer, not even a hint of a nod to indicate what West did know of the girl he kept close. And since they had returned to the castle, he had kept her closer.
“Frayne and his father need to spend time together,” Pip said.
“I know that,” Nelda returned. She had encouraged it, although she missed not being with him. She stood slowly and allowed the flame to grow a little taller, then stretched out a hand and pulled Pip to her feet.
The shadows surrounding them were not right. The feeling that the world was closing around her again pushed in. Nelda struggled to breathe, and the child clung tighter to her hand.
“Is this what you thought might happen?” she asked quietly, unsure who was nearby, how close they were or who they might be. She had the odd feeling of other witches, but it was not quite the same. The shadows were not natural, but not as though there was someone in them. The feeling evaporated when the sun reappeared, although Pip remained close at her side and clinging to her arm.
“I don’t know what will happen,” Pip said. “I get a feeling, an understanding, but I don’t always know what that means. Sometimes I understand the meaning, but not how it will come about.” She sighed and looked at the ground, and Nelda could feel the disappointment and fear welling in the child.
“We shouldn’t be out here alone,” she said. “Soldiers should have followed us.”
“They did,” Pip replied, “but they keep their distance.”
“That won’t help us if the shadows attack.”
“We have something they do not, something that might work better than their swords.”
Nelda lacked any confidence in her power to prevent the shadows rising up again, or what they might do when they closed in around them. They had stopped the shadows before, or at least they had managed to survive. But the threat could return at any point.
A soldier appeared at the edge of the clearing, and Nelda wished Grace were here as another force, another ally. Despite all the work they had done with the king and some of the soldiers, they were still witches, they were still outsiders.
“Lady Graewyth?” the man asked nervously, and she looked down at the flame in her hand.
“Can you take us back to the king now?”
“He is...”
Nelda’s heart dropped, and she wondered what else might have happened to him. No matter where the queen might be or what she might be up to, Nuris should have remained at her side. Or she should have gone with him.
The man looked at them and then turned back.
“The king?” she demanded.
“I don’t know where he is,” the man stammered when she reached him at the edge of the garden. Another soldier waited, looking bored.
“Does someone not stay with him, watch over him?”
“He was with the prince,” the man said, still looking at the other soldier as though to confirm it.
“And?” she prompted.
“They were sparring, I think.”
“Alone?” Would Frayne really have put his father at such risk by not having others around them—or even Dunstan not consider what could happen to Frayne?
The man looked at her as though she wasn’t making any sense, as though it were a stupid idea that the king needed watching over. They had been there when he had been injured. Or at least she had thought so. There were so many soldiers, and perhaps not all of them could be trusted.
“Captain West,” she said. “Do you know his whereabouts?”
“My lady, I would suggest you return to your rooms.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I am sure the prince will return soon enough and can answer your questions. It is difficult to watch here.”
Nelda was reluctant to leave the sun, but Pip’s hand was in hers, leading her towards the entrance to the castle before she could ask if it was a good idea.
Nelda entered the empty rooms, feeling the lack of Frayne in them. Pip squeezed her hand tighter. “Do you think that Nuris will return quickly?” she asked the child.
“He has a task to do,” Pip replied.
“And if he cannot complete it?”
“You think the queen will not be easily found,” the child said.
Nelda released her hold and sat down on the settee, looking at the cold fireplace. How long since they had wandered into the garden? She waved her hand, and the remains of the fire leapt to life.
“She has hidden herself well enough for the last twenty years, and that was inside the castle and under the watch of the king.”
“I don’t think he was watching very closely,” Pip said, a cheeky grin lighting her features.
Nelda sighed. Hadn’t she just been wondering again at what they might have been, what they could be? She was a known witch now, worse than a maid in the eyes of the Circle of the Sun. Either way, the king was not here, and she was growing more nervous the longer they were separated. That was when they were at the greatest risk.
She stood again and headed for the door.
“Nelda?” Pip asked, her earlier playfulness gone.
“We are going to the cathedral of the God.”
“The monks are gone,” Pip whispered.
Nelda hoped she was right, but the disappearance of the men and the cardinal worried her more than she would like to admit. She was sure they were involved in this. Not just men in black, the men in the throne room who had tried to destroy them, again, were monks.
“My lady,” the guard at the door said warily as she stepped into the hallway.
“We are going to pray,” she said, walking away, unsure if the two men would be able to protect them if needed or even if they would try. If more shadows turned up, they were just as likely to run away. She would like to think that all the king’s soldiers were as dedicated as those who had protected him from the people when he was injured, but she knew they were not all equal. Too many had followed the cardinal as he burned his way across the kingdom.
Nelda stopped mid-step, wondering if the cardinal might be trying to do the same thing again. It appeared that they were not all working together, but she could not be sure. Nothing was as it appeared to be; nothing was as she had thought it was all those years ago, when she was just a girl and too confident in her understanding of the world.
“Have there been any reports?” she asked.
He stared at her as though confused by the question, and then they glanced at each other.
She waited, turning fully towards them.
“My lady,” one said, his tone a little condescending, “any report for the king would have been given directly to him.”
So, they would not tell her anything. Did they not trust her or were they following protocol? West would have openly discussed any issue with her, as would her brother or Frayne. She hoped Dunstan would share the truth of what was going on, but then she doubted he understood it either.
She turned and continued towards the cathedral. Back in the sunshine, she paused, taking in the warmth of it, and wondered how long it had been before today that she had fully allowed herself to relax and enjoy what the gods provided.
The cathedral loomed over the courtyard inside the gates of Sunsong. Nelda had never really taken in just how overwhelming it was. Almost as though the large stone façade was angry at having her stand at its door. Several people walked past the doorway, which was closed, and she wondered then if it was always so. Surely it would be a welcoming place, with the doors wide open for all to visit.
A couple of young women stopped and looked as she stepped up to the door. Pip pushed in between her and the door and held up a hand. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” But she was watching the young women rather than Nelda.
“And why is that?” she asked, focused on the child. People would stare. Nelda had no idea if they knew who she was or what her claim was, but there were two guards standing nearby.
Pip shook her head but did not answer. Nelda gave her a gentle nudge to the side and made her way inside. The stone was cool around her, and her footfalls echoed in the empty space. There were no seats available, which seemed odd. She had thought there would be some pews or the like for the elderly or injured rather than standing or sitting on the hard flagstone floor. It appeared smooth enough, as though many people had walked across it over the years, worn it down into a smooth surface.
The God dominated the space. He might have stood at the far end, over the large stone altar, but it was all she could focus on. She stopped to take him in.
Pip gave an odd little curtsy.
The God appeared to be watching Nelda, as though wondering why she was in this space and what she might do. But she wasn’t really certain herself as to why she was here. She just needed to see something of the cardinal, get an understanding of who the man might be and where he might have gone. He always seemed so self-assured. The last time she had seen him in the throne room, he had been that same confident man, appearing as though he deserved the throne more than the king, and then he had disappeared.
