Magpie, page 27
After leaving Nathan’s house so abruptly, Beth had walked home. The gathering gloom and cool of the summer evening did much to cleanse her brain and soothe her mind. She needed distance, craved space to sort everything out. She just hoped he’d still be around to talk when she was ready. She’d collapsed into a lonely bed, then slept like the dead.
And now it was nearly two weeks later. And so much had happened.
Her first instinct, the morning after leaving Nathan’s, was to delete her Facebook pages, wanting to rid her life of any social media completely. To make a fresh start. However, her mother was ignoring all calls and texts, so it was worth trying Messenger. For once, she didn’t blame Sarah for going off grid. After her own online abuse, she could see the appeal. Having asked Lorna if she had any information and drawn a blank, and knowing her grandparents knew nothing, her mother was her last and most obvious source.
Hey, Mum, she typed, before she had time to chicken out. Wanted to ask you something. Do you know the name of my dad?
Then all she’d had to do was wait. There was always the chance her mother wouldn’t know, of course. From what Beth had been told of Sarah’s early life, it had been a non-stop wild partying time. A smile curled at her lips. The same couldn’t be said of her daughters. Lorna had married her first boyfriend and concentrated on making a home; it didn’t take too much psychoanalysis to work out she was ferociously replicating what had been missing from her own childhood. As for herself, Beth had kept her distance from anyone too demanding on her emotions, unwilling to risk attaching herself to someone who, like her mother, might disappear. That was apart from Hugh. It was why the transference of his affections to Jade had hurt so much. They were among a group of only a few people Beth had allowed herself to get close to. That didn’t stand up to too much analysis either.
Nearly two weeks into her self-imposed retreat, she hauled herself out of bed, made tea and stared out of the sitting-room window at the sunshine and the sliver of sapphire sea in the distance. It had been a tumultuous time.
Sitting down on the sofa, she cuddled Frank, gaining comfort from sinking her fingers into his thick black fur. She tried hard not to keep checking her phone. Nothing. No message from her mother. No call from Nathan. Florence had been coming over later to see Frank but had cried off, so the day stretched ahead, empty. She’d become a good friend. Had recommended a Betonica medical herbalism course in Uffculme, not too far away, had encouraged her to talk. Had warned her not to remain so closed off from people, to accept help when it was offered. To open up her heart.
Beth’s phone vibrated and she jumped on it. She was disappointed to see it was only Bill from the museum.
‘Beth,’ she began without preamble. ‘I’ve been digging into the Lovedays.’
‘Hi, Bill. What have you found out?’ Beth had popped into the museum and updated her with the new information she and Nathan had found out. There had been something niggling. If Susanna had originally been a Loveday from Exeter, why was Flete associated with the surname?
‘Old Betty died childless,’ Bill continued.
‘Yes, I knew that.’
‘Hold your breath to cool your porridge, child. She came from a big family of Lovedays in Exeter. Turns out some of ’em came to Flete in the mid-nineteenth century to work in the cement factory.’
‘Cement factory?’ Beth said, startled. It wasn’t quite the romantic tale she’d envisioned.
Bill laughed. ‘Twas on the front, the cliff end. It’s the Masonic Hall now but least said of that lot the better,’ she huffed. ‘Do a bit of hunting around and you’ll find a few more Loveday folk round here. So, you can consider yourself descended from proper born and bred Devon Lovedays.’
‘Thank you, Bill.’
‘Told you, you young things should take more notice of your roots. The past makes sense of where we are now. Always has. Always will.’
Beth thought of Robert Lacey and Susanna Loveday. Of Prudie Tenpenny and Barnabas the smith. ‘You don’t know how true that is.’
Bill cackled. ‘Oh, don’t I? See that you and your doctor come by the museum and bring Susanna’s secret document. I’d like to give it the once over with my old eyes.’
‘Will do.’
Bill clicked off before Beth could say anything more. She stared at the phone in her hand. The gaping hole, now Susanna and Prudie’s story had been told, was making itself felt; she needed something to keep her busy. Her finger hovered over her contacts list. There was someone else she had to ring. The information that had come in from Steve and then the police had been conclusive; the person behind the trolling and online harassment had revealed themselves. Her stomach rolled as she hesitated over the ring button. This was someone she knew. Someone who had once been very dear to her. The police had made it clear she could take it further should she wish but Beth had asked them if she could think about it. More than revenge, or justice even, she wanted an explanation.
Her university friend, Clodagh, had been right after all. It took so much effort to allow people into her life, she hung on to them beyond the friendship’s lifespan and despite what they did to her. And now it was finally time to break the habit.
The previous week, having to grit her teeth and force herself back onto Facebook, she’d spent a tedious couple of hours scrolling through the photographs on her feed and those on her friends. One had jogged a memory. It was a snap of herself, Jade and Hugh standing in a pub beer garden taken the previous summer. The photo on her feed was a good one of them all, taken by Alec, another university friend, but it triggered a memory. When Hugh and Alec had gone to buy another round, Jade had taken a close-up selfie of just the two of them, joking that now she was an old married woman, there wouldn’t be many more evenings out like this. Beth had turned to her friend, thrown her head back and laughed just as Jade had taken it. Beth hadn’t liked the photo, her face was flushed by too much sun and wine and her hair had gone frizzy, so she’d deleted it soon after Jade had sent it. Jade said she’d deleted it too. Beth had checked and double checked, it was nowhere on her Facebook or Twitter accounts. Nor was it on Jade’s. But the angle of her arched throat and the low ray of sun glinting on her long silver earring was identical to the one used for the online porn.
After talking it through with a muzzy-headed, end-of-term exhausted but sympathetic Steve, and then the police, everyone had come to the same conclusion; it was circumstantial evidence that pointed to Jade being behind the online abuse campaign. Something deep inside Beth had known it all along. She’d denied it, refusing to believe her oldest friend, her best friend, could do something this vile. Comically misspelled fake reviews on her website were one thing but to deepfake hardcore porn was beyond despicable.
Beth had taken to her bed and had lain unsleeping and unblinking, holding Frank and remaining motionless for days. Eventually a rage of tears had her balled into the foetal position until Florence had rescued her, fed her chamomile tea and wholegrain toast and forced her into the shower.
Weirdly, Beth thought now as she stared at her phone, she could have coped better had it been Hugh. For a woman to do this to another woman was a particularly wicked kind of betrayal. Susanna had betrayed Prudie but Beth could see the reasoning behind it. It had been a life-or-death decision. And, according to Susanna, it had been with Prudie’s blessing. Why would Jade want to do something this utterly cruel?
Fury blazed through her, making her jab on Jade’s number. For once she didn’t check to see if it was a possible nap or feed time, she didn’t care if their routine was interrupted.
‘Hello, Beth.’
It was Hugh. For a second, Beth was so taken aback she didn’t know how to reply. Why was Hugh answering Jade’s phone? Glancing at the clock, she also wondered why he was at home at two o’clock in the afternoon on a work day. ‘Hugh. Hi. I wanted to speak to Jade.’
‘Oh, Beth,’ Hugh’s voice broke.
‘What’s happened?’ The anger drained away. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
‘It’s Jade. She’s–’ Hugh muffled a sob.
Beth waited impatiently for him to control himself. Apprehension made her stomach hollow. Whatever Jade had done, their history went back a long way. She thought back to how trapped Jade had looked briefly when they’d visited the shop that time and her suspicions had been raised about what kind of husband Hugh was. Surely he hadn’t–
‘She’s had some kind of–’ Another long stuttering pause.
Beth could hear him breathing hard. She forced herself to think rationally. Of course Hugh wouldn’t do any harm to his wife, not purposefully. He might buy into thinking he’d bagged a nineteen fifties housewife maybe. Beth remembered Jade saying he was often late home from work, expecting a meal on the table. A bit of pompous neglect possibly, but she must remember not every man was vile and perverted like those she’d come across in the seventeenth century–
‘Breakdown.’
Oh God. This was way out of his sphere of understanding. He came from the stiff upper lip, pull up your trousers and get on with it school. ‘A breakdown?’ A sharp pang of concern stabbed. Hugh wouldn’t cope well with this. ‘Have you got anyone with you?’
‘Yes. My parents flew down yesterday. Mum’s looking after me.’
The concern was swiftly replaced with irritation. ‘And who’s looking after Jade?’
‘She’s been admitted into a…’ Beth heard him drag in a painful breath, ‘…a unit over in Dorset. It was the closest bed they could find.’
‘Jeez. And what about the baby?’
‘Hamish is with her.’
‘That’s good. Isn’t it?’ Hugh wasn’t the only one floundering here. This was beyond Beth’s experience too.
‘I don’t know. I suppose. I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to look after him.’
The irritation returned with a vengeance. ‘He’s your son too, Hugh.’
‘I know, I know. It’s just Jade didn’t let me anywhere near him. Didn’t really let anyone near him. I thought she was doing so well, being such an excellent mother. Lame excuse. I didn’t see what was going on in front of my eyes.’
‘And what happens now?’
‘I’m not sure. They said it’s post-natal psychosis. Hormones messed up or something. Jade will be treated and come home at some point. I’m going over to see her tomorrow so I’ll know more then.’
Beth swallowed painfully. ‘Give her my…’ she trailed off. ‘I hope she’s better soon.’
‘That’s good of you, Beth, under the circumstances. I know what she did, you see.’
Beth couldn’t speak for a moment. ‘You know?’
‘The last few days, it’s been difficult. Jade was raving about something to do with photos and online porn and then she mentioned you. To be honest, by that point she was hallucinating too so I didn’t know what was real and what was, well, I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I’d never seen her like that.’
‘Oh God. It must have been horrible for you both.’
‘It’s been…’ his voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper. ‘After she was admitted I got into her phone and it was all there. Everything that she’s done.’ He began to sob and Beth heard his mother, in her delicate Edinburgh accent, consoling him in the background. ‘No, Mother, I have to say this. Beth, if you want to press charges I’d completely understand. The evidence trail is all here. Screenshots of the nasty comments on your shop’s website and,’ he gave a wailing cry, ‘the Photoshopped images.’
Beth stayed silent. At the other end of the line she could hear ice clinking into glasses and liquid being poured. The MacDonald clan were having a stiff drink; she could almost smell the single malt. She didn’t blame them. Justice was within her grasp. What Jade had done was contemptible, wicked even. But had it been the actions of a rational person? Nathan’s words that he’d met people who had done evil but had never met anyone actually evil came back to her. What good would it do Jade, or herself for that matter, to drag it through the legal system? How would little Hamish react if, when older, he found out? ‘I don’t know what to do, Hugh. That… stuff stays on the net no matter how hard you try to delete it all.’ She blew out a frustrated, angry breath. ‘But what would I achieve taking it to a prosecution? Oh God, Hugh, it’s all such a mess.’
‘I know, Bethie.’
She heard him gulp again. He must be tanking the whisky. ‘Why do you think she did it?’
‘I’ve no idea.’ He blew his nose and went quiet, then continued. ‘She often complained she felt she’d lost her sense of self, moaned how bored she was. Was definitely sleep deprived and they use sleep deprivation as a torture method, did you know?’
‘I did, as a matter of fact.’
‘And she was always saying how jealous she was of you.’
‘She was jealous of me?’ Beth gave a hard short laugh. ‘She was the one who ended up with you as a husband and father of her baby. What did I have for her to be jealous of?’
‘Your own business. Independence. She always admired how you didn’t seem to need anyone. That you forged your own path.’
‘I didn’t have much choice, did I?’ Beth answered with asperity.
‘No. No you didn’t. I’m sorry about all that, you know. I feel I messed you around. Jade, well, Jade just swooped me up and before I knew it, we were making wedding plans.’
‘You knew exactly what you were doing, Hugh, don’t kid yourself. Besides, I was never your idea of a perfect wife, was I?’
‘You’re the one who got away, Bethie,’ he whined. ‘I realise that now.’
Beth couldn’t believe she’d heard him correctly. Anger sparked again. ‘You made it perfectly clear you wanted nothing to do with me as a girlfriend!’
He didn’t answer.
‘Look, I hope Jade recovers, I genuinely do. I won’t press charges, I promise. But this is the end of our friendship.’
Hugh began to bluster. ‘Well, I can quite see you wouldn’t want to see Jade again.’
Revulsion bubbled up. ‘I mean the friendship between the three of us. I don’t want to see either of you. Ever again.’
‘Oh, Beth, you can’t mean that!’
‘What do you think, Hugh?’ Beth replied softly. ‘Send Jade my sincere wishes for a full recovery,’ she added and clicked the phone off.
She sat back, shoulders unknotting. Exhaling, she lifted her mug and drank cold tea wishing it was something stronger. She’d hung on to Jade and Hugh for too long. They were remnants of another life, university life, and it was all a long time ago now. Jade was wrong, she did need people but not people as toxic as that.
Glancing at her phone again, she saw a message had finally come through from her mother. The information, weirdly, came as no surprise. It was as if she had always known. It made many of the experiences she’d been having that summer make a sort of sense. It was the final, irrevocable link.
And there was only one person she wanted to share the news with.
CHAPTER 34
AUGUST 2018
Nathan opened his front door at her first knock. His face split into a warm and, she thought, relieved smile. ‘Beth, how wonderful to see you.’
She stepped into the hallway that was filled with scent of Geranium and Orange from the cloakroom and noted the line of battered running shoes. It all felt very familiar and yet strange.
Despite Nathan asking to work together through this weird thing that had happened to them, Beth hadn’t wanted to contact him. She’d needed to process Jade’s betrayal. Lick her wounds. Begin to rebuild her self-confidence. She planned to open the shop soon and it almost seemed like an act of defiance; she was desperate to get her business going again. Florence had been amazing, fussing over her, feeding her nourishing vegetarian casseroles and soups, and soothing tisanes while they’d researched the course on medical herbalism she yearned to do. Beth had been startled to discover how rigorous it was but she was still determined to train. Florence had even offered a treatment room in the Mindfulness Centre when she was qualified. Everything was coming together as if meant to be.
However, until today, she hadn’t been ready to see Nathan. He was an added complication she didn’t want to deal with. Another layer of tugging emotion on top of all that had happened. Maybe it had been the good food, Florence’s tender care or simply the sense that something had come to its conclusion, but Beth felt lighter and untroubled. Happier than she’d felt for years.
‘I’ve been meaning to come over.’
‘And I’m very glad you have. Luckily, you’ve caught me in.’
‘Saturday seemed a good day to catch you. Are you back at work now?’
Nathan nodded. ‘I was lucky to get as much leave in one go as it was. Back in the surgery now so my colleagues with children can take some leave in the school holidays.’
Of course. The season had shifted into full summer holiday mode. The town and beach were packed, cafés and pubs full of people bent on enjoyment, despite the worst the British weather threw at them.
‘Come on in. I’m supposed to be mowing the lawn, but I’ve given up and I’m having a beer.’
‘A beer would be great.’ She followed him through to the garden, thinking he looked tired. Worry lines creased at his eyes and he looked too lean.
Settled at the little white wrought-iron table she refused a glass and drank Peroni from the bottle. The garden was lapsing into a cool shade. A lawn mower sat abandoned, its tank of cuttings radiating the powerful scent of damp grass, which made her nostrils tickle. ‘You look exhausted.’
He nodded and rubbed a hand over his face. ‘Always a shock to be back at work after such a long break and it’s been manic. Lots of tourists in town so lots of cases of terminal sunburn and forgotten prescriptions. On top of everything else.’ He gazed at her penetratingly. ‘More importantly, how are you? Have to say you’re looking incredibly well. You’ve had me worried. Have you been for a check-up?’
‘No need. I feel better. Sleeping brilliantly, no more headaches or other weird symptoms. I feel lighter.’
