Unbound, page 29
“Thank you,” he said formally. With the detachment of a shock victim, he placed a firm hand on my upper arm and helped me to my feet. Guiding me back through the reception area, his stride was so long I felt half-dragged rather than escorted.
“Eaden, please look at me,” I implored, stopping just before we re-entered the Council chambers.
He seemed unaware that I had spoken. Eaden led me wordlessly towards the men who would change my world forever.
* * * * *
Gabriel did not smile or welcome us back. Instead he folded his hands in front of him and regarded me with those strange, empty eyes. “Amun has withdrawn his proposal. He has conceded that this decision is too complicated to address at the current time. He has agreed to let the issue rest until such time as more information is available.”
I glanced quickly at Eaden, not sure whether or not this meant we were free.
His expression like stone, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at Amun. He was unconvinced.
Gabriel continued. “However, Amun has highlighted the inherent danger in having a Mafte’ach with unknown and untested powers living unprotected in the mortal world. It might be very unwise to let others have unrestricted access to you, child. We could not guarantee your condition would not be investigated by those whose aims are not consistent with the Council.”
Puzzled, I looked at Gabriel. Who else was there? I had thought all the players were here.
He looked steadily back at me, providing no answers. “Consequently, we have decided that you shall remain here with us, with all of the comforts you could ask for, but safely protected.”
Gabriel’s voice sounded distant, and my head swam alarmingly. My initial cautious optimism when he had begun was replaced by hopelessness as I began to understand all too clearly the message I had been given. I could stay here, in London, with Eaden, as a prisoner in a velvet cell. It would never really be over. I understood that implicitly. What I was being offered was a stay of execution until Amun had engineered some other disaster or event that would provide him with the evidence that he needed to prove that the mortal race had to be controlled. He was biding time. And clearly, time was on his side. This was simply an attempt to regroup. The next time, he would be surer of the outcome.
“Or?”
A slight twitch in Gabriel’s eyebrow was the only hint that he was surprised by my question, but he did not dissemble.
“Or, if you choose, you may complete your duties as a Mafte’ach, and you will have our word that your remains will be destroyed. You may end it all here today, if that is what you wish, young one.” The quick glance he shot at Amerlyn led me to understand that this had been a condition he’d insisted on.
For the first time, a note of compassion crept into Gabriel’s tone. He was aware that he had offered me no real choice. That Amun had bet on my inclination for self-preservation and Eaden’s clear need to protect me at all costs.
He had bet that Eaden would not let me die.
Eaden was living up to that bet. His eyes were as fierce as I had seen them and although his face was rigid, anger and pain emanated from him in waves that were palpable. He grabbed my arm and thrust me behind him.
My heart sank then, in earnest. Knowing what Eaden had already figured out.
We were trapped.
There would be no escape if I stayed. I would have Eaden, but no guarantee that eventually, I wouldn’t become a guinea pig for whatever research project they chose. And what would that do to Eaden? How much longer could he bear the strain of trying to protect me from those he had sworn to obey? From those he was born to obey. He knew what had to be done and at the same time, knew there was no way he could allow it.
I looked away from Gabriel’s calm gaze, away from Amun’s victorious smirk, and most desperately away from the emotional chaos that wound itself around Eaden like a cloak. When Amerlyn’s eyes met mine, they were infinitely sad. He knew before I did what the conditions and consequences of my release were. Silently I asked the question he knew was coming, wanting confirmation that he would hold true to his promise. He nodded slightly and resigned, stood slowly to regard us. He raised his right hand towards Eaden, fist closed, knuckles white.
“Tibi impero.”
Instantly the men above us began to murmur and whisper again.
Composure abandoned, Eaden looked panicked, terrified even. “Amerlyn, no!”
Sita began to cry.
Amerlyn raised his voice. “Tibi impero.”
The hall fell silent as Eaden let go of me and stumbled to his knees, his head bowed.
Amerlyn shook his head. “I’m so sorry, mo bráthair, it’s what she wants.”
Eaden turned his head slightly and looked at me. The grief and pain in his eyes burned like ice and fire. Death could be no colder than his eyes.
A sob caught in my throat and I tore my gaze away. He would survive. I would not drag this on one day longer. This would kill him or send him closer to the edge of madness.
“I am Mafte’ach.” I felt a small stirring of pride with this claim. If I could fulfill Jacob’s legacy and still protect Eaden, not to mention ensure the free will of the mortal race, perhaps my life would not be considered a complete disappointment. “This is what I choose.”
Gabriel’s eyes did not leave mine, but he addressed Eaden. “Do you choose to exit now, brother?”
Silence.
Eaden’s eyes remained fasted on the floor in front of him.
I understood. Having made the choice to renounce his claim on me, there was no way he would go back on his word. He would not kill me, not when he had promised with all of the honour that defined him to protect me. As I had both hoped and feared, Eaden would not allow himself his exit now. Not if my death were the means to that end. He would survive me as punishment.
The silence dragged on. Unable to bear it a second longer, I spoke for him. “Eaden has already declined.” I heard a sharp intake of breath and looked to see Mara, her hands clasped tightly between Elora’s, tears streaming down her face. She looked relieved and grateful and desperately sad. Mara’s tears buoyed me; they reminded me that Eaden was important to others besides me.
Gabriel’s gaze shifted to the upper balcony. “Then we find ourselves in the very unusual position of selecting an immortal from those who have been waiting for a match.”
I’d known this would happen. I had seen in my head the way it might end. The way it had already almost ended. I was prepared, I was almost grateful.
But I didn’t want to die.
Sabas’s velvet voice floated down to the dais.
“It would be my pleasure to carry out Eaden’s much-neglected duties.” The derision in his voice was unmistakeable. “Perhaps it will be the child’s pleasure as well.”
I gritted my teeth, determined not to let him see my fear and disgust. Determined not to let Eaden see it either, but for different reasons entirely.
Gabriel gestured to the balcony dismissively. “Come down then, brother, and spare us the commentary.” Gabriel shook his head slightly as he looked at me. “You are resolved, young one?”
I didn’t let myself think. “Yes.”
My chest felt so tight I could barely breathe. I didn’t know where to look. I couldn’t bear to look at Eaden, couldn’t look up to meet Stuart’s troubled expression, and was sure that looking at Amerlyn or the three Sisters would only send me into hysterics.
Closing my eyes tightly again, I was desperate to find a piece of my reality to focus on. My hands were sweaty and trembling terribly and as I shoved them into my pockets to hide them, my fingers touched on something cold and hard. Wrapping them around the old brass key from Tír na nÓg, I almost laughed. The key. My key. Jacob’s sweet sunny face filled my mind and his chubby hand stroked my hair.
Protect him, Rachel. It’s not what you think.
The band in my chest loosened so that I could breathe again. This was what I needed. I could do this. Knowing what survived me, knowing that my small narrow existence had a purpose beyond me was enough. I would rise to this occasion. It would be a relief, actually. To know what was next.
Sabas was behind me now. Waves of numbness began to wash over me, the tranquility of apathy that signalled the end of everything I cared about.
Fighting against it, I turned to face Sabas. “No.”
His countenance changed, if only slightly. Doubt crept across his arrogant features.
“Have you changed your mind, child?” Gabriel asked from the dais.
“No. But I don’t want to be tranquilized. This is my choice; I don’t need to be lulled.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Eaden lift his head to stare blankly in our direction.
Don’t look, Eaden. It will be easier if you don’t look.
I tried not to look at him directly, knowing it would take more courage than I had to do this. Knowing If I saw the anguish in those steel grey eyes, I would never be able to finish this.
“As you wish.” Sabas shrugged carelessly. His expression plainly stating his lack of concern for the way I chose to die.
I glanced briefly towards the faces of my new friends. Amerlyn still stood looking forlorn and apologetic. I shifted my gaze to the three women.
“Thank you,” I whispered softly. Very softly. “Take care of him.”
Mara nodded and the three Sisters moved forward to stand next to Eaden, where he still knelt in front of the dais.
I imagined throwing my arms around him one last time, having him kiss my tears away, having the safety of his love as the home I would live in forever.
And then I let him go.
Sabas was waiting. He was eager, but more subdued with the eyes of his peers upon us than he had been the last time.
Gabriel’s voice echoed throughout the now silent chamber. “Witness, brothers and remember.”
Sabas smiled and pulled his shirt over his head with one hand, revealing the well muscled torso I had seen before. With remarkable steady hands, I pulled my sweater off and let it fall to the floor. My thin tank seemed inconsequential in the large hall, but I wasn’t cold.
I felt every single pair of eyes upon us in that instant. The weight of their attention and their curiosity. But there was only one person’s eyes I was thinking of.
Not yet.
Sabas placed a cold hand on my neck and then slid it down to cover my heart. With a deep breath I reached my hand out to touch his chest. My fingers trembling, but purposeful.
It was different this time, without being calmed. His touch was not ice, but fire, not numbness, but a fever that swirled and leapt, like flames on dry kindling. First my chest blazed, and then I felt it spread throughout my legs and arms. It was not painful yet, not quite, but it was electrifying and all consuming.
Sabas’s grin was first wild and wicked. And then it was not. Around the madness in his eyes, I saw relief and fear. And then I wasn’t thinking about Sabas any longer.
Only Eaden.
I felt the edges of my awareness dissolving into grey mist, knew that whatever process had been started, could not be stopped.
Now.
I turned my head slightly towards him and saw him riveted there. The intensity of his gaze pierced me. It was enough, I tried to say with my eyes. If this was my legacy, than it was enough to know that you would have sacrificed everything. That I was that important to you.
It was enough.
My heart felt like it was about to leap from my chest, it thudded painfully against my ribcage in a wild, staccato pattern. My vision narrowed until Eaden was the only thing I could see, his eyes the last thing I looked upon.
He was the safest thing I knew.
And then there was nothing, but the drumbeats of my heart and blackness.
The sound of Jacob’s laughter floated along the breeze as I watched him across the meadow. Gazing up happily at the cloudless blue sky, I skipped after him.
Chapter Twenty-Two: One Step Beyond
I took a deep breath, pulling in as much as my lungs could handle and relishing how warm and earthy the air smelled. The last traces of snow had disappeared weeks ago and the world seemed poised on the brink of spring. I watched the rain trickle down the window that was propped slightly open, one stream of water finding the other in a vertical imitation of spring runoff on the land.
“What’s going on for you right now?”
I pulled my attention away from the window and smiled wryly at Alex. “It’s spring.”
She nodded. “A time for beginnings.”
“I’m ready to begin again, I think.”
She leaned forward in her chair. “I wonder how you know.”
Taking another deep breath, I met her gaze directly. “He’s back.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m not really. I guess I always knew he would be. I just wasn’t sure how I would feel about it.”
“And?” The word floated between us patiently, without demand.
I looked back out the window. “I’m ready.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you are, too,” she said quietly. “How does it work? Do you know what happens next?”
“No idea.” I shrugged. “I guess I’ll find out though, won’t I?”
“Be well, Rachel,” she said standing. “I’ll see you next week.”
“Next week,” I agreed.
I walked down the steep steps of the brownstone and onto the wet sidewalk, not at all minding the drizzle that landed on my face. Breathing deeply again, I detected notes of decay and blossoms all in one giant gulp. Life and death. Death and life. Not mutually exclusive after all.
The still-bare branches of the maple tree on my left shook and shivered as two squirrels raced along its limbs, engaged in the animal version of tag. Whenever one seemed to be in the lead, they switched positions and ran the route in reverse, tearing up and down without seeming to pay attention to the laws of gravity.
I glanced at my watch and quickened my pace, not wanting to be late.
The old-fashioned brass bell above the door clanged loudly as I entered, startling me so much that I flinched. The server cleaning the table in the small cafe smiled sympathetically. “Happens to me all the time.”
Choosing a table near the window, I plunked myself down on the rickety wooden chair to people watch while I waited. The streets were busier than usual, the sunshine beckoning people out of doors after the cold, hard winter we’d endured. Staring listlessly for a few moments, I gave it up for a lost cause and stopped fighting the urge I knew would be impossible to resist. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out the thick cream envelope on which my name and address had been written in impossibly well-formed calligraphy. I took the letter out and reread the words that were becoming so familiar, although it had only been delivered on Monday.
Dearest Rachel,
What an absolute delight to hear that you’ve been accepted at the University of Toronto to study history. Mara and Elora have both demanded that I pass along their congratulations at once and say they hope to visit you once the weather turns a bit milder and all that nasty cold weather in Canada has passed you by. Your letter arrived too late to tell Sita and Stuart of your good news directly. They left last month on a visit to India – Sannah has sensed a young child in need of recruitment and Stuart has offered to stand in temporarily for Eaden in that capacity. I sent them word, however, and will be sure to pass along their congratulations once I hear back from them. The two of them are quite happy to be gallivanting across the globe together. It’s just as well they’ve left. Between Stuart and Sita and Mara and Elora I feel my state of bachelorhood more acutely than ever. I’m incessantly surrounded by young love and moony eyes. Makes me quite melancholy for my third wife. She was the best of the bunch.
It will come as no surprise to you that Mara plans to leave me in a few weeks. She and Elora are returning to Nanog briefly and then have plans to visit a coven in Spain for the summer months. I absolutely refuse to complain, however, or at least not too loudly, as Sannah has arranged for a lovely young lass to come stay with me. She’s a horse lover and so I’m quite sure we’ll make fine company for each other.
Now on to other matters. I’m afraid you know me too well, young one. When you accused me of avoiding the subject in my last letter, you were spot on. I am sorry to have put you off, but I was unsure how ready you were to hear news of Eaden and I had so little at the time to share.
Since that terrible day in London, I had feared we had lost him forever. That he had given himself over to the madness or else banished himself from humanity in its all it forms. But recently, my hope has been renewed. He simply appeared one day, in my study, about three weeks ago and we had a short but significant exchange. He said he understood why I had acted as I had that day in Council and that he forgave me, but not much more. Poor lad. He was in a sorry state. I can only imagine what torturous hell he had created for himself in the months he was away. I hope you won’t be angry with me, my dearest child, but I did manage to leave your letter lying open in the study and then excused myself for a short time. When I returned, the letter was gone. I’m not sure what it means, but my heart tells me that what has been broken can be healed. At any rate, I believe you’ll know quite soon, one way or another.
Which leads me to your last question. And I’m afraid my answer will be less than satisfactory. I don’t know. I don’t know why you survived, I don’t know why you can now sense immortals as they could at one time sense you, and I don’t know what it all means. I was as surprised as any other person in the room that day that you endured the match. Well, perhaps not as surprised as Eaden. I do believe he was more surprised than I. Don’t judge him too harshly for leaving so abruptly, Rachel. He had resigned himself to an eternity of misery for failing to protect you and instead was rewarded for his inability to keep you safe. You see, the paradox would have been more than he could handle. Eaden’s ideas about himself were forged in an age where men were either valiant or cowards. He was unable to reconcile that he might be both. Immortality does not grant insight, just long life. But I have hope.
