Epiphany: Part 1, page 9
part #1 of Epiphany Series
I hated myself for giving him false hope, especially in the face of such unveiled desperation. It drove him, I realized. I feared what else drove him. Justice?
Or vengeance?
Unable to speak, I resorted to shaking my head.
“Mackenzie, I’m begging you. If you know something—” He broke off, screwing his eyes shut. “I found her a year ago…on my fucking birthday…just like we found Six tonight.”
I gaped at him, horrified. No wonder he’d gotten shit-faced on Halloween. Tears dampened my face by the time he opened his eyes. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t see anything in my dreams about your wife.”
He brought his hands up and cradled my cheeks, and his thumbs brushed away the sorrow bathing them. “But you saw me.” Not a question but rather a confirmation of what I already suspected. He knew.
“Yeah, I saw you.”
We stood inches from each other, lips parted and breaths growing shallow as the air shifted. My face veered up on its own, my body acting on pure instinct, and met him half way. His kiss was tentative at first, a soft tease that warmed my lips and made me ache, but then he groaned, and we fell into each other, mouths opening in greed. Sweeping his fingers into my hair, he plunged his tongue deep, and I’d never tasted such sweet whiskey.
“God, you taste good,” he mumbled against my lips, as if my thoughts had traveled from my head to his by the merge of our mouths.
He hoisted me onto the counter, settled between my tremblings legs, and the rigid length of his erection pressed against me just right. I whimpered, a moment away from either begging him to take me to bed, or pleading for him to let me go. The former won out, and I expressed the need in the battle of our tongues, in the low moan escaping my throat.
His touch, his kiss…every part of him spoke to me, unleashed something inside me that couldn’t be caged. His hands fell to my hips, pulling me closer as he rocked into me. I clutched his shirt to keep from melting in his embrace the way the gentle sway of his hips melted my panties.
Like a slingshot, he jerked back, long before my craving could be satisfied.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his face still hovering close to mine.
“Don’t be sorry.” I wanted to chase his mouth, addicted to the taste of him, but his hooded gaze pinned me, and the realization that I’d put the spark of desire in those gorgeous eyes sent thrilling zaps to every nerve in my body. As our breathing slowed, we pressed our foreheads together, and I closed my eyes, wishing the moment would never end.
“But I am sorry,” he said. “That was a dumb move.” He pulled away completely, and the moment fizzled and died. Though a mere couple of feet separated us, I felt as if he’d distanced himself by miles. “You’ve been drinking, and you sure as hell don’t need to be jerked around by a screw-up like me.”
I blinked. My legs were jelly and my insides alive with want and need, but he seemed to be in retreat-mode. “I wanted it as much as you did.”
“That’s what scares me.”
“Because you can’t move on?” I dreaded the answer but waited for it anyway.
One never came. He cordoned himself off, and the moat between us widened, drawbridge lying in tattered pieces in the trenches.
“Allowing you to get caught up in my life is unforgivable,” he said. “I only had one thing on my mind when I came here.”
“Justice.” The hard set of his jaw told me I’d used the wrong word.
“Finding him…it’s all I’ve thought about for the past year.” He drew in an uneven breath. “It’s late, Mackenzie.” He hesitated before entwining our fingers. Still unbearably hot between my thighs, I hopped down from the counter, and my pulse thundered in my ears. I wondered if he could feel it where our hands touched as he led me downstairs.
We passed his bedroom and stopped in front of another door. He pushed it open, revealing a second bedroom. “Stay tonight?”
I couldn’t have denied him if I’d wanted to.
I awoke the next morning to raised voices drifting down the staircase. Male voices. I dressed quickly and crept into the hall, pausing at the bottom of the stairs as their words grew louder.
“I already told you all I know. I thought we covered this last night,” I heard Aidan say, a hint of impatience in his tone.
“From where I’m standing, we didn’t cover much of anything.” That sounded like the sheriff. “I read the file on your wife’s murder. Did he send you another note? Is that how you found Ms. Hunsaker?”
“No, there wasn’t a note.”
“Aidan, if you’re withholding evidence—”
“I turned everything I had over to the police in Boise, didn’t I? And you were the first person I talked to when I arrived here in town. Do you really think I’d withhold evidence?”
“Yes, I think you would, if it suited your agenda.”
“My only agenda is to find the asshole that killed Deb, a job your department has failed to do.”
“So you’re a cop now? Last I checked journalism was your field.” Thick silence filled the air. After a moment I heard the sheriff add, “And according to your colleagues, you were a ticking time bomb after your wife’s murder. Lost all objectivity, they said. Caused an uproar that reached all levels of law enforcement and the media.”
“Get out.”
“Your refusal to cooperate has left me no choice. You’re coming in for questioning.”
“Like hell I am!” Aidan’s voice boomed down the stairwell, and I jumped when the front door banged against the wall. “Get out of my house!”
Without thinking, I rushed up the stairs and blurted, “Wait!” Both men stared—the sheriff with interest, and Aidan with surprise. I tore my eyes from his and gave McFayden my full attention. “I’m the one you should be interrogating. Aidan didn’t know where to find Six. I did.”
The sheriff tilted his head. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“You don’t have to tell him anything.” Aidan stepped forward, his shoulders rigid. “We already told him what we know. He was just leaving.”
I shook my head. “No, if it’ll help them find Six’s killer, then I need to do this.” I closed my eyes, and the image of her tortured body knifed my heart. I needed to come clean, not only for Six, but for Aidan. If he found the Hangman before the police did…I couldn’t bear to think of the outcome. “I saw it in a dream. That’s how I knew where to find Six.”
I expected the sheriff’s incredulous expression, and he didn’t disappoint. “I don’t have time for this Silvia Browne-type of psychic babble, Ms. Hill. Now, we’ll try this one more time before I drag both of you in.”
“I never said I was psychic, and you don’t have to drag me anywhere.” I paused, distracted by the twitch in Aidan’s jaw. “I’ll cooperate, but I’m telling you the truth. I dreamed of the rock shelter, and I saw him take Six up there.” I told McFayden all the gory details of the dream, and when I finished recounting how we’d found her hanging, I was on the verge of throwing up. I clutched my midsection, as if that could stop my belly from revolting.
“You can’t give me a description of the guy? Nothing on the vehicle?” he asked.
I was shocked he appeared to believe me or at least considered I was telling the truth. “No.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this last night?”
“Would you have believed me?”
“Point taken, but you shouldn’t have waited to tell me.” The sheriff sighed. “You have my card. If you think of anything else—”
“I’ll call you,” I said.
“Can’t say I buy in to this psychic stuff, but I’ll keep an open mind. I think we’ve established how much we all want this monster off the streets.” McFayden’s attention returned to Aidan. “You’ve got quite the reputation as a damn good investigative reporter. I don’t mind getting help from the public on cases, never have. What I do mind is personal investment.” He pointed a finger at Aidan. “Don’t do anything stupid, son. Last thing we need is for this guy to go free because of a technicality.”
Aidan remained silent. I didn’t think he had any intention of letting his wife’s killer get away. I feared he wouldn’t rest until the Hangman was bagged and tagged. The sheriff seemed to pick up on the same vibe.
“Keep your hands clean, Aidan.” McFayden left, leaving the door open.
A cool breeze drifted in, and the azure sky was a cloudless canvas. What a freaking disparity from last night. The glaring sunshine was a slap in the face. I shut the door, unable to confront the blue sky any longer, and glanced at Aidan. Neither of us seemed inclined to move.
He stood massaging the back of his neck, all the while staring at me as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “Sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you.” Was this what we’d been reduced to? Clipped, meaningless conversation to fill the silence? “And thanks for the T-shirt.” He’d loaned me one to sleep in, and the memory of how wonderful it smelled, soft against my skin, haunted me. Now, as the morning highlighted everything that had happened, our explosive kiss sat like the proverbial elephant in the room.
“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I was getting ready to fix something when McFayden showed up.” His hair was damp from showering, and several runaway strands had ideas of their own, despite his obvious effort to comb them in place.
“I should get home, but thanks for the offer.”
He sighed, and I figured he felt the awkwardness between us too. “Mackenzie, about last night—”
“If you’re going to apologize again, I’d rather you didn’t.” I grabbed my jacket. “I get it, I do. You don’t need complications.”
He pulled out my keys and stepped closer. “I don’t think you do get it. I might not want complications, but I can’t control what’s happened.” Worry etched across his face. “I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Or worse. He didn’t have to say the words. I heard the message loud and clear, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. “I’ll be careful.”
“What if careful isn’t enough?”
“It’ll have to be.”
“Are you refusing to leave town because of me?”
I avoided his keen stare. Walking away from him now would be as impossible as shutting off my dreams, though I wasn’t about to confess this to him. “I really should get going.”
“At least let me see you home.”
“How will you get back?” I halted. “Now that I think about it, how did you get to my apartment last night? Your car is sitting in the garage.”
“I walked.” He grabbed his jacket and ushered me through the door.
“Why?”
“Less questions that way. Idaho plates, remember?”
I did remember, and with startling clarity, I remembered something else. As we drove to my apartment, the sheriff’s words jabbed at me. He’d said Aidan was a damn good investigative reporter. A reporter…from Boise. Another puzzle piece shifted, and I wondered if Aidan and the reporter I’d read about—A.J. Payne—were one and the same.
I spent the next two days pretending the yellow tape next door didn’t exist. Six would come barreling into my apartment any minute now, flaunting some outrageous outfit she wanted me to wear. She’d talk me into going out again, give another push toward Brad, probably tell me to make a play for Aidan.
But Six wasn’t going to do any of those things. As each minute crept forward, she never appeared. Acceptance nagged me with relentless power. She was gone.
Dead.
Lying on a cold slab somewhere in the dark recesses of the morgue. The medical examiner had probably sliced her open for an autopsy already. I thought of all this with the same mechanical detachment I’d experienced a few weeks ago when I’d thrown my life down the garbage disposal.
I padded into the kitchen to make coffee. Her memorial service was a couple hours away, and I still had to find something suitably grievous to wear, as if wearing black could convey my grief.
As the coffee brewed, my drawings of Aidan called to me. To say he served as a distraction was an understatement. Once again my eyes lowered to the necklace he wore in the one sketch. What did the chain mean to him? He knew about my dreams now, but I wasn’t about to bring up these drawings.
Maybe I could find answers another way. I sat down with my laptop and typed in a name, the one I suspected he’d used as a byline for the Idaho Statesman. The first article Google brought up confirmed my suspicions. The piece reported on his wife’s murder and included a picture of them together. Unlike the other victims, she hadn’t worked in a bar. She’d been a teacher, and a pretty one at that. Beautiful really. Enviably elegant. Somehow, I’d expected his type to be of the tall and blond variety—a cliché, I know—but that’s what I thought of when I looked at him. His dark looks seemed to attract the type. I didn’t like to think about him with anyone, but the thought had been there nonetheless.
Deborah Payne hadn’t been blond. In fact, her hair hadn’t been much lighter than my own ebony locks. She’d had blue eyes, a shade so light they were almost gray. I scanned the article, growing more distressed the further I read. She’d been raped and tortured. Just like Six. Hanged. Just like Six.
And Aidan had found her like that. His own wife, the woman he’d obviously loved very much. Now he was out for blood, and I didn’t have to guess at or even dream of the vengeance he craved. The certainty of it sat in my gut.
A knock on the door startled me. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I closed my laptop in case it was Aidan. He’d called to check on me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up on my doorstep. Mom had also called, and unlike all the other times, I’d finally answered. I’d had a difficult time convincing her I was safe in Watcher’s Point. She’d seen the latest news reports. Thank God she had no idea how close Six and I had been…or that I’d been the one to find her. She’d no doubt send Marcus and Micah to drag me back home, by the hair if necessary.
Pulling the door open, I tensed at the sight of Judd McFayden. “What can I do for you, Deputy?” The question came out with an icy edge. I couldn’t get past his refusal to help me find Six.
“There’s no need to be so formal. I’m not on duty.” He gestured to the door I held in a death grip between us. “May I come in?”
Giving in to curiosity, I opened the door wide and allowed him to enter. His dark gaze roamed my tiny apartment, touching on the old couch, the small television, and the ancient coffee table that was beyond repair. The apartment had come with the sparse furnishings, and considering how desperate I’d been to find a place on such short notice, I didn’t mind the less than stellar décor or furniture. Sure beat sitting on the floor.
“Would you like some coffee?” The promise of caffeine wafted in from the kitchen. No way could I face Six’s memorial later without a large dose of my personal brand of lifeblood. Nightmares had ensured sleepless nights. No murders this time, just some creepy cabin I couldn’t erase from my mind. I’d sketched it yesterday, again and again, never satisfied with the outcome. Something was off. I hadn’t gotten the surrounding woods right, hadn’t drawn the windows correctly. There was water nearby, though I couldn’t see that clearly either.
“Coffee sounds good, thank you.” Judd followed me into the kitchen, and as I poured two cups, adding cream and sugar to his upon instruction, I wondered why he’d come by. My heart lurched in fear and in hope. What if they’d found a lead on the killer? I handed him a mug, and we each took a mismatched seat at my kitchen table. My sketches of Aidan covered the surface, his gorgeous eyes peering up from the paper.
“Sorry, let me get these out of your way.” Out of the way of your prying eyes.
“I heard you were an artist.”
I almost snorted. “I’m sure you’ve heard your fair share of gossip about me, Deputy. Christie has no doubt filled you in.”
“You can call me Judd.”
I raised my brows but refrained from saying anything.
“I came to apologize. I should have done more. I should have taken your report seriously.”
“You guys went to high school together, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yeah. I knew her back then, but we didn’t hang out with the same people.”
Uncomfortable silence settled over us. What did he want me to say? That it was okay? Six’s murder would never be okay. Neither would his refusal to file something as simple as a missing persons report.
“I need to get ready for her memorial service. I appreciate you stopping by,” I said, not entirely understanding my need to remain polite. He’d dropped the ball, and now my friend was dead. There was no sugarcoating that.
“Sure, no problem. Before I go though, I was wondering about what you told my dad. You dreamed of where to find her?”
“I’m sure you have access to the report.”
“Yes, I do.” His eyes strayed to the spot where my drawings had been. “I just wanted you to know that I believe you, and if you think of anything else that might help, don’t hesitate to call.” He handed me a card, and his fingers stalled on mine for several seconds. “I’ll listen next time. You can be sure of that.”
I stared at the spread of food on the table, and my stomach turned. Nothing looked appetizing.
“Kinda weird when you think about it,” Mike said.
“What is?” I tilted my head up and met his deep brown eyes.
“All of this,” he said, gesturing toward the smorgasbord. “Like anyone is up to eating after…” Mouth pressed into a hard line, he shook his head. Mike was as vain as he was buff. Six and I had often joked about how he used enough gel to supply a cheerleading squad for a year. His dirty-blond hair fell flat against his forehead now, unspoiled by the usual goo, and the pallor of his skin made him look older than his thirty-five years.
“I know what you mean. I don’t have much of an appetite.” I forked a piece of ham anyway and dropped it onto my plate. Maybe going through the motions would get me through the reception. I glimpsed Six’s mother across the room. Her sons—all five of them—surrounded her as she dabbed her red-rimmed eyes, and I remembered Six telling me how she’d gotten her name.











