Capricorn, page 1
Capricorn
Copyright © 2025 Gemma James
Cover design by Gemma James
All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
CONTENTS
Note To Readers
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Dear Reader
Newsletter
The Devil’s Kiss
Torrent
Trashy Foreplay
Swallow Me Whole
With Dreams of Payne
Playlist
About the Author
Note To Readers
This book is intended for readers 18+ who enjoy dark and explicit themes. Reader discretion is advised. For detailed content warning information, please click here.
For Gabriela Avecillas. Thank you for your help when I needed it.
1
December 17th
Winter air nips at my bare arms, sending a shiver racing down my limbs. In the distance, waves collide with jagged cliffs, and I focus on the rhythm until it storms through me. The darkness steals my vision of the sea, but that sound is a potent elixir, an inducer of the mental fog I crave.
God, it’s all I want right now.
Being near the ocean does that to me. Soothes the turmoil. Calms my breathing. Distorts all the things I can’t bring myself to face. It’s a small mercy, this gift of oblivion.
Beautiful oblivion.
Despite the frigid air, I’m content to stand on the edge of nothing, because I feel nothing here. It would be so easy to let go and fly, to claim the type of nothingness that’s permanent.
Eternal.
Does peace exist in such a place? I can’t help but think it does.
“Novalee!”
A sharp voice tears through my solitude, and I pivot to find Liam standing behind me on the balcony. In the moonless dark, his coppery hair masquerades as black—a striking contrast to the snowflakes drifting between us. One by one, they land in silent defeat on the floor.
I don’t remember how I got here, but I resent him for interrupting the only bit of peace I’ve had since…
My stomach revolts at where that thought tries to stray.
“How long have you been out here?” Liam’s gaze lifts over my shoulder, chasing a view the night won’t give him.
The sun must have set hours ago, though that doesn’t seem right. Wasn’t I just swirling a spoon through thick, tasteless oatmeal at the breakfast table? It should bother me that I can’t recall the time between then and now, but it doesn’t.
“Novalee.” His insistent tone is on the gruff side as he takes my hand. “Did you hear me?”
“What?” Blinking, I fixate on his thumb as it glides back and forth across the back of my hand. That gesture is hypnotic, trance-like…
Going back and forth and back and forth and back—
“Let’s get you inside.”
I jump at his voice, which only makes his forehead wrinkle in concern. Gently, he guides me through the door and into my private quarters in the House of Aries. The next thing I know, I’m settled in a chair, cocooned in a warm blanket, while Liam rubs life back into my arms through the soft material.
“How long were you out there?” His brows knit together. “You’re frozen to the bone.”
His jacket and tie are absent, and my gaze stalls on his collarbone. He’s dressed casually for the evening, with the top three buttons of his shirt undone. Something about his skin beckons. Without conscious thought, I work my arms out of the blanket and trail my fingers over his throat.
He’s smooth and warm and—
“Novalee.” His thick murmur halts my hand. “You’re worrying me.”
“Why?”
“Because I found you freezing in the snow,” he says, brows arching in disbelief, “without a jacket or a pair of shoes. What were you doing out there?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
I’m sure if I think long and hard, I can come up with an explanation, but I don’t have the energy. Besides, the sad truth is…
“I don’t remember.”
Liam’s mouth tightens into a thin line, yet his touch remains gentle as he cups my cheek. “Tell me what to do, please.”
“There’s nothing,” I whisper, the emptiness inside me growing deeper.
A soft knock interrupts the grave moment, and my bedroom door opens to reveal Vance. The sudden appearance of the doctor sends a jolt of adrenaline through me, and I sit up straight as hope crashes into my chest, tangling with a complex blend of anger and fear.
Because I don’t trust hope—not when it’s done nothing but yank me around in unabashed violence since the day I was born.
And yet…
I can’t help but ask the only question worth asking. “Did they find him?”
Vance gives his blond head a solemn shake. He normally wears his hair in a ponytail, but now it falls past his shoulders, wild and messy, like he’s been running his fingers through it all day.
“No sign of survivors,” he says quietly. “Axel’s body was recovered a few days ago, but…”
Dread bands around my chest. “But they’re still looking, right?”
Liam rises to join Vance, and my gaze darts between them, desperation cresting. No one speaks at first, and that’s when I ache for the numbness of winter air, the crash of waves, the endless dark.
The fog.
God, bring the fog back, because I can’t face the answer written in Vance’s expression—as if he’s trying to swallow the words so he won’t have to say them out loud.
“It’s been a week, Novalee.”
A week.
Seven days.
168 hours.
10,000 and some odd minutes since Sebastian’s plane went down, and my world imploded.
It feels longer.
It feels like it happened five minutes ago.
That day is a blur, just distorted images I don’t want to remember, and yet I still recall Liam and the Brotherhood ambushing me in my studio with the news. Can still smell Liam’s spicy cologne as he engulfed me in his arms. Still hear the wailing and screaming.
My screaming.
At some point, Vance sedated me, and that’s the last thing I remember about that day.
“So?” Hysteria holds my vocal cords hostage for a beat. “I don’t care if it’s been a month. He could have deployed a raft, made it to an island, or…something.”
Pity.
I despise that mask more than anything. Vance wears it now as he crouches in front of me. “They called off the search.”
A glacier fist squeezes my heart, and I want to scream against the agony. Pain floods my senses, burning my nose, pounding at my temples, coiling around my neck.
It’s too much.
I can’t do this.
The clock above the armoire counts the seconds in a stoic rhythm I can’t help but embrace.
Tick, tick, tick.
“Did you hear me?” Vance slides his hand into my hair, pulling my attention back to him.
“I heard you.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his tone a strangled apology.
“No.” I grind my molars, refusing to accept his words. “He’s coming home.”
“He’s gone.” Liam lets out an unsteady breath. “They both are.”
Clinging to denial, I glance at the bedroom door, convinced Sebastian will burst through it and tell me how this is all a huge mistake.
A terrible misunderstanding.
“He’s not coming back, love,” Vance says, reading my thoughts with unnerving accuracy.
The hands on the clock continue their relentless march, but time might as well grind to a halt. Blood rushes through my ears, muting the reality of this nightmare. I can’t accept what they’re telling me.
What if the rescue team didn’t search in the right spot?
What if the flight’s trajectory didn’t go as planned?
What if someone else rescued him, and he’s injured, or…or suffering from amnesia?
Tears prick at my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. If I break down again, Vance will only sedate me. I force myself to my feet and let the blanket fall to the floor. Grief boils inside me as I make my way to the windows where the vastness haunts me. Sebastian could be out there somewhere, a thousand miles away, washed up on some shore that’s hopefully not as cold as here.
He could be bleeding and broken, but alive.
He has to be alive.
The alternative isn’t an option. I have to believe he’s fighting to survive, counting on a heroic a
Except everyone is giving up.
Liam’s words filter through my head, a mournful chant of inescapable truth. No matter how much I want to, I can’t unhear what he said.
He’s gone.
A hiccuping sob builds, and I shake my head as the tears I’ve been holding back cling to my lashes. “I can’t accept this.”
Vance clears his throat. “You have to.”
A scorching tear streaks down my cheek, followed by a deluge. As my vision blurs, I sink to the floor in voiceless, gut-wrenching sobs. My chest heaves and burns, wracked with grief. God, the pain…
Unbearable.
Footsteps rush across the room, closing the distance to where I’m broken on the floor. Letting out a choked sound, Liam reaches me first and wraps me in his arms, squeezing the breath from me as if he can cast out my grief and take it on himself.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair, again and again, rocking me to the ticking of that clock. But time is sadistic, because the thought of enduring another second without Sebastian is more than I can bear.
2
The same tumultuous body of water that stole the man I love now mocks my pathetic existence beyond the windows. I’m hollowed out as I stare at the sea. Minutes bleed together, forcing me through the hours like a forgotten ghost haunting the penthouse floor. Maybe I am an apparition. Spirits don’t eat or sleep, and I haven’t done much of either since I found out Sebastian’s plane went down somewhere over the ocean.
Ghosts don’t breathe, either, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if this pain will vanish if I just…stop breathing.
The morbid notion makes me gasp, and I inhale two quick breaths before letting them out in a slow exhale.
There’s a Sebastian-sized hole in my chest, yet my stupid heart keeps beating for him. My mutinous brain won’t let go either, replaying our last phone call, tethering me to the phantom echo of his voice.
“Remember when you told me you’d never break, not for me or anyone?”
“I remember.”
“Promise you’ll stay strong, no matter what.”
“I’ll be strong when you get home.”
“Novalee,” he warns. “Promise me.”
“I’ll stay strong…as long as you promise to come back to me.”
“I promise, princess. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
I guess we both lied.
Because he’s not here.
And I’m not strong.
The door creaks open, shattering my destructive musings, and Selma steps inside with a tray.
“Good afternoon, my queen.” Liam’s housekeeper sets my lunch on the table in front of me, her smile exuding warmth. “I hope you have an appetite. The chancellor won’t be happy that you didn’t eat breakfast.”
“Where is he today?” I ask, increasingly aware of his dwindling patience for my despondency. Each time he brings me food or tries to coax me into some semblance of myself, the worry etched on his face chips away at my defenses. He hasn’t breached my walls yet, but knowing him, it’s only a matter of time before he busts through.
“The legacy members arrived this morning.” Selma lifts the lid off a silver platter of gourmet lunch offerings. “Chancellor Castle is in a meeting with them now.”
My back stiffens. “A meeting about what?”
A furrow tugs at her brows. “That’s a question for the chancellor when he returns.” She exits the room before I can press her further.
I glance at the artisan sandwich and salad I have no intention of eating. A hunger pang tears through my gut, but the idea of putting food into my mouth, let alone swallowing it, makes me nauseous.
Letting out a sigh, I pick up my fork, knowing Liam will be upset if I don’t at least make an effort. I take a nibble, my gaze drifting to the sea, soothed by the faint sound of waves breaking against the rocky cliffs.
At some point, he returns, and I realize the sky has deepened to a dull gray. Fresh snowfall blots out the late afternoon sun, casting my quarters in shadow. Disoriented and confused, I glance around the room, once again wondering how time passed by without me.
Liam settles into the chair on the other side of the table, where my lunch sits untouched between us. Wait…barely touched, since one corner of the sandwich has a bite missing. I don’t remember eating it, so it’s probably safe to assume I sampled the salad, too.
“You’re still not eating.” He crosses his muscular arms, a preamble to the battle he’s about to wage.
“I tried.” With a gesture at the evidence of the bite I’d taken, I add, “No one else has been here to touch it.”
At least…I don’t think anyone has. Did I nod off in my seat? It would be a miracle if I had, since every time I close my eyes, I see Sebastian the way I left him in Los Angeles over a week ago.
Two weeks ago?
However many the days, he was alive, and he was mine.
With a sigh, Liam runs a hand over the unkempt scruff shadowing his jaw. “You can’t go on like this.”
Shrugging a shoulder, I fiddle with the useless fork on my plate. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I want you to try.”
When I fail to respond, an uncomfortable stillness fills the air.
“The legacy members are here,” he says.
“Selma told me.” I give him a pointed look. “Though she wouldn’t tell me why.”
His fingers tap an irritating dance across the table. “You know why.”
Stubbornly, I shake my head. The why is unbearable.
“The auction must go on,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose as his eyes fall shut. “And with Tatum and Sebastian gone—”
“Stop.”
Please, I can’t do this.
His hooded gaze promises harsh truths, making me squirm in my seat.
“What will it take to get through to you? Because I’m at a loss.” Agitated, he runs his fingers through his hair, tousling the deep copper strands. “I’ve tried giving you space to grieve, stood as your rock when you needed it, but you’ve been impossible to reach. Everyone’s worried sick.”
“Who?” I ask, absently stabbing a piece of wilted lettuce with my fork.
“Landon and Elise, Vance, Ford, Faye…”
“She called?”
He raises a brow. “She spoke to you over the phone. Do you not remember?”
I shrug again, lacking the energy needed to explain how I sort of do, but I can’t recall a single detail of the conversation—just like I can’t remember what Landon and Elise said when they came to check on me.
“Novalee…” He trails off, releasing a heavy breath. “This isn’t healthy. I know you’re overwhelmed with grief, and rightfully so, but refusing to accept what happened will only make it harder for you to heal.” He pauses, his words hanging in the air between us. “He’s gone.”
“If he’s gone,” I spit out, emphasizing each word, “then so am I.”
His complexion drains of color. “What are you trying to say?”
“I-I don’t know,” I stammer, my words tinged with a blend of anger and sorrow. “I just…I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“But you are here, and pretending otherwise won’t change what’s coming, because we still have an auction to face.” Liam leans in, forehead creased as our eyes lock. “Everything has changed. I’m brainstorming another plan with Landon, but I need you to try. Your transition into the House of Capricorn is tomorrow.”
“I don’t care about tomorrow,” I say through gritted teeth.
Liam drags a hand down his face. “We’ll discuss this later. Right now, there’s something else we need to address.”
“Something else?” I scoff, my tone dripping with sarcasm. “Is the collapse of my world only a minor inconvenience to be dealt with later?”
He blinks, taken aback by my snark. “Of course not.”
