This Is the Way, page 2
The Spar I was thinking was a ten minute walk from the house. He was sitting at the window, one arm on a crutch the other on a bin. The head was over one side and his legs were spread out and he had the same brown face I remembered, the same thick hair, the same fat lips made you think he was whistling. He was holding a bottle of Club one hand and he been sick but not much. The sick was on his front and on the ground. He was moaning like the sun had got to him, he was moaning like he been boxed. The minute I seen him I says Arthur I says.
He says Christ Anthony.
I says Arthur Jaysus. It’s good to see you I says.
Anthony I thought the kids were going to have a go he says.
I says who touched you.
No one Anthony it’s me foot he says.
What’s wrong with it I says.
Me foot and me head he says.
There was another crutch on the ground. The side of his feet was a dirty white sack said Mater Misericordiae on it.
He says Anthony can we go to your place.
Sure we shouldn’t be getting you to the hospital I says.
No I just been at the hospital, they’re useless he says.
They not the best people for this thing I says.
Aaah he says. Aaah. Anthony no. To your place Anthony he says and he threw the bottle at me.
Easy easy I says.
He could not hold the crutch on his left because his hand that side was in a cloth. He could not put any weight on his foot that side so I had to carry his other crutch and his sack and hold him up as we moved. Took us twenty minutes or more. I had to look at the ground the whole distance. His arm was thick and tense, it was a pain to lift my head. His hand in the cloth was up my face and it smelt and in my right ear was the sound of his hissing. I do not know how we got back to the house and up the stair. Inch by inch was the way. Counting brown metal covers in the ground, getting smaller and smoother and cracked the nearer the house, this was the way.
I got him on my bed. He let his crutch clatter to the floor. I let him lie, I threw his other crutch down, I says fucking hoor.
Where’s me drink he says.
I put it in the bin after you threw it at me I says.
I got him water from the tap. Here sit up now I says. He was stroking his head like he was protecting his eyes. I put my coat under him.
Help me take me shoes off he says.
The left shoe was a struggle to get loose and I had to twist it. He pressed into his eyes the more I twisted it, I says you all right to him. Then it slipped off. The foot was bandaged thick except for the top where the toes were sticking out. Or they should have been sticking out anyhows only where you be looking for the big toe there was a mess. It was a state. There was no toe and there was blood, black hard scab and bright red blood. It was going bad I seen because there was green too.
What happened you I says.
I got in an accident he says.
You surely did I says. How long you been in the hospital I says but he didn’t answer. I says how long you been in the hospital.
Shut up he says.
Don’t be telling me shut up I says.
Shut up he says.
Don’t be telling me shut up I’m only asking questions trying to help I says.
Shut up let me rest he says.
Shut up yourself I says. I says why didn’t you ring me sooner I would have come. To visit you in the hospital I says.
Arthur I says.
Arthur I says and I smacked the bed.
Shut up he says.
I didn’t say nothing, then okay I says.
I stepped back, I left him to it, I lifted my hands I says okay. And he was gone, spent.
It was funny, to go that quick. The things he been through I didn’t even know. The hand stayed over the eyes but the elbow went slowly then the hand slid down and he was asleep his fingers spread over his face.
And there we were.
I tried to think of the last time I seen him and it was three year before, there about. It was in Melvin. Melvin, the Sonaghans, the Gillaroos, an old story. The colour to those days was black. That is what I was thinking. Everyone was depressed. And it was green and it was white because there were people after bringing flowers. Bright yellow too with the bibs on the guards.
And in came Arthur. He appeared, came out of nowhere. We all thought he was gone for good to France and England. But he came back these few days, his nephew being buried, my brother Aaron, why wouldn’t he. The evening of the funeral mass we walked the fields around Melvin. I didn’t think anything about them, they didn’t mean nothing to me. These were the fields the Sonaghans and Gillaroos came from said Arthur, they didn’t mean nothing to him neither. There wasn’t too much praying done that night, only cursing. We cursed the Gillaroo boys that sent Aaron the threats on the DVDs. We cursed that Aaron had risen to it too. Arthur asked me where them DVDs were now, I said they were thrown in the attic. Arthur said they were evidence, I said they were not evidence sure hadn’t Aaron killed himself. Evidence for what I said. We knew that the next day would be difficult. It was difficult. A very reasonable man said we had to stay behind a half hour in the graveyard and that made it more difficult. Arthur said to me were my mother and father all right with one another these days. I said they were grand. He said he was only asking because he seen them separated by the graveside.
He says how many of those people with your mother do you know.
I don’t know too many of them I says.
He said to me he didn’t neither. He said you wouldn’t have known what was confiscated on the way in.
He tried to get talking to a guard but the guard would not say much. He asked the guard was everything okay and the guard said everything was good. The guard would not relax then because Arthur was looking about him. I was not sure if Arthur was messing or if he was agitated. He said the Gillaroos were fuckers and he kept saying it. He was jittering about, he was stupid, first time in my life I thought that. I thought Arthur you look stupid you are stupid. He was wearing a hat. I could not say if I liked it. He said it was made of felt and he got it in France. There used to be a feather in it he said. He took it down off his head and he showed me the inside.
What does that writing say he says.
He showed me his watch. There was mercury in it he said. He got it in Holyhead. He got his coat in England, his shirt in England, his shoes in England.
Where did you get your trousers I says.
England he says.
The priest said he wanted to speak again while we were waiting. He had trouble being heard over the helicopter but he got it out anyhows.
He says remember that Jesus was known as many things but one of the names he went by was the Prince of Peace. In the New Testament you will find a number of examples of Jesus greeting his disciples with peace be with you. Jesus’s life was an example to us all to live our lives in peace and harmony with each other. We would do well to remember at this time the life that our Saviour led and the message of peace that he brought to us.
I seen my father make a great show of blessing himself. Then a guard came over whispered in the priest’s ear. The priest said we would all have to wait behind longer. Ten minutes went and Arthur said he was going to throw a stone at the helicopter.
I’m going to try hit that thing and either I hit that thing or the stone drops and I hit a Gillaroo he says.
He tore a lump of tarmac the size of his fist from the edge of the path and he threw it in the air straight up. A guard stepped in and so did my sister Margarita.
Have you no respect for our brother she says to me.
I don’t even know if that was the question. I don’t even know if that is a question.
That was the last time, three year ago in Melvin, the time of my brother Aaron’s burial. There was this time now he was after turning up in the city of Dublin he was agitated and there was the last time in Melvin and he was agitated then too. It was not good in the world when Arthur was agitated.
3
The next morning he took a turn for the worse. First thing I woke up he was groaning. He was not asleep but not awake. He was trying to keep himself through a severe pain if that’s the way. His face had a clouded look and he was sweating. I says to him Arthur will I make you tea but he was inside himself be the best way to put it.
I went to Mr L the chemist. He had the cure when I was sick in June and he was good. I says I have this uncle and it’s like he’s in the grip of something terrible. I says he been sick and now I think he’s burning up.
Is he delirious the word Mr L used.
Yes I says.
He could have an infection he says.
I said to him yes that that’s what I thought it was. I told him his foot had gone bad. Mr L said it sounded like it was the antibiotics he needed but that I had to get him to a doctor to get those. I said to myself that that was expensive and then I remembered I had antibiotics from when I got sick in June. I took one and I couldn’t take the rest because the taste came off in my mouth. But I had them, I hadn’t got rid of them.
I found them and it said on the tube take three a day. I knew there was no way Arthur was going to take them the taste of them the way they were, I would have to sneak them into him. I said to him did he want anything to eat. He said nothing only a groan. I had ham and I made a sandwich. I ate it beside him but he didn’t react like he wanted food.
I left it a day. He hadn’t eaten all that time, that day and the day before. I knew he was pushing himself to the limits. He would have to eat something and his body would make himself eat something. Sure enough when I bought chips and I put some on a plate beside him he took them. I pushed an antibiotic in one of them. He ate them down in ten seconds.
Have you anything else he says.
I got him an orange. I peeled it for him my back turned and I pushed an antibiotic in that too. He bit into it but his tooth hit the antibiotic and he spat the antibiotic on the sheet.
What’s this he says.
I says it’s a tablet it’s good for you I says and I picked it up.
Give it here he says. Will you fill up me glass he says. How many of these a day do I have to take.
The rest of that evening he slept and most the next day he slept and the day after he was awake but quiet but together. The day after that then he was even better again, he was improved.
I was up that morning with the television on. I thought he was asleep and then I heard it.
Good to be home he says.
I turned to him. He was lying on his side, his head resting in his hand. He was looking toward the window.
I says you’re not home. You’re in my house here and it’s my rules you’re under.
And you’re back now and you got sick and you’re stranded in the city of Dublin and who am I to turn you away, one of my own, my uncle and the brother of my father I thinks to myself.
Home I says.
I says to him so what brought you back after your years of wandering.
He didn’t say nothing, he let out wind.
Did you miss the country I says.
He moved himself up on the pillow.
Come here I want to show you something he says.
I’d left the sack he had at the Spar by the head of the bed and now he had it up with him.
Have a look here he says. There’s some old pages they gave me in the hospital. Your father was telling me you’re good with the reading he says.
When were you last talking to me father I says to him.
He came in the hospital visit me Arthur says.
Was me father where you got me number I says.
Yes he says.
Now he says.
Have a look at those pages he says.
Yes I says.
He showed me a group of papers, they were held together at the corner. The first page said in writing Recovery Guide for Patients Who Have Undergone Digit Replantation Surgery. The second page and the third page there were pictures. One of them was a man caught in a fence.
I turned the page and Arthur said the doctor got it for him off the computer.
Look he says, look, look, but I was reading down the sheet.
Look he says again.
I looked up and I got a fright. He’d took his left hand out the cloth been covering it and he was holding it in front of him. It was crooked and mashed, it was boiled. Took me a few seconds to see what was wrong. It was the thumb, only it wasn’t a thumb. It was twisted on the hand, a different look to the rest, like someone had got it, broke it off, then they changed it, shrunk it, put it back on. His hand looked like a monkey’s hand what it looked, like a chimp’s. I thought of his foot and then I thought that that’s what this was. That they took his toe off and they put it on his hand because his thumb went missing.
What’s wrong with you he says.
I don’t know I says.
Your face he says.
Your face I says.
There’s nothing wrong with me face he says.
You look shocked I says.
It’s not me face it’s me hand is the problem, look he says.
He reached over for the glass and the hand stopped before it. It was natural a person would open the hand without thinking but Arthur was thinking. He was looking at the hand like he had to concentrate to open it. I watched him, his tongue tapping his front teeth. In a minute his thumb that was his toe moved back and he moved his hand around the glass.
I can do that but I can’t hold on to anything yet he says. One step at a time isn’t that what they say. I could try and pick it up but there’s no power in the hand, the glass would drop. It’ll take time. They had me doing exercises, opening and closing opening and closing. They told me I had to think through the movement and if I thought of it I would make it happen. They gave me fish they said the fish is good for the brain. They said if I.
The hospital, the doctor, the after what happened was all he was saying, I was not listening.
I says to him tell me something Arthur and tell me straight.
He looked at me strange, angry.
I says was it the Gillaroos done this to you.
He took two seconds.
No he says, and he kept his eyes looking in mine like a challenge what it was.
I turned mine away from his and I smiled, I smiled so he could see me smile, it was with no joy.
I says to him they must have thought you were good enough to let you go from the hospital before the skin is even healed.
He muttered something, I says to him what speak up.
He says I knew meself I was good enough.
You let yourself out I says.
There was nothing I couldn’t have been doing on me own he says.
Can you do that I says.
What he says.
Let yourself out I says.
Course he says. They can’t hold you against your will. And I don’t like the fish he says.
Tell me this I says to him. Have you still got that watch the mercury in it.
No he says. That broke and it made me sick for a week. I got this new one with a wire coiled in it you could pull out and strangle a man.
Would you use it for that I says.
If I had to he says.
He looked around the room. I followed his eyes looking the way he was looking, this room he been recovering, this place he was hiding.
What you been doing with yourself these few days he says to me.
Looking after you I says.
What was that about he says.
Seeing that you weren’t dying I says. Looking at you more than looking after you I says.
How do I look he says.
Bad I says. You stink. You’re still wearing the clothes you came in I says.
Have you a shower here he says.
There’s one down on the landing I says.
Will there be a queue for it he says.
All my time here I never seen anyone using it I says. I don’t think they shower I says.
He leaned back crossway on the bed then rolled on his right and pushed himself up. It was an effort for him, I seen it.
Ah sweet fuck he says.
Relax there now I says don’t be taking things too quick.
Ah that’s good, that’s good he says sitting up. Aaah he says.
Relax I says.
He sat there the edge the bed a minute his face settling into a more easy look.
Well he says.
Just sit there steady a minute don’t be trying too much I says and he rolling his head round his shoulders. Don’t need to be rushing to have a shower you’re not that bad I says.
No he says. Then he says to me this, he says do you know where Grafton Street is.
Yes I do I says.
Good he says. He reached in his pocket his good hand and he had a bundle of money, must have been two three hundred euros.
Do you know where the Tommy Hilfiger store on Grafton Street is he says.
The what I says.
I heard there’s a Tommy Hilfiger store on Grafton Street he says.
Where did you hear that I says.
I asked someone he says.
Who I says.
Someone on the street before meeting you he says.
You were fucking dying taking a turn I says and you ask someone where the fucking, I couldn’t remember the name of the place.
Tommy Hilfiger store he says. It’s a clothes shop. A big operation he says.
I says the only fucking operation you should have been worried about is the one they done on your hand.
Here he says giving me the money. Get me a long sleeve polo shirt large size. Blue or white or black or brown but don’t get pink. And get me a pair of jeans not too loose at the ankles make sure. They do smart ones Tommy Hilfiger he says. I’m a thirty six waist thirty four in the leg.
