Fragments Of You, page 18
I now see her for what she is. Ivy is venom, and I was a fool to ever give my heart to her.
Lena was right.
There was never anything wrong with me.
“Fuck you, Bentley Harris!”
Stepping outside, I ignore her screams. The air feels different––the breeze hugging around me like the winds of change, and while I don’t have everything figured out, I know I have to go back, and soon.
I need to return to Colorado and forget the last several years even happened.
Actually....
I need to see Nora.
After two years of knowing her, I need to find that girl, sit her down, and have a long discussion—one I’ve been avoiding because it scares the shit out of me.
Do I mean anything to you?
Even now, it has me gulping past a lump in my throat as it loops through my head, but I’m not going to ignore it anymore. I’m going back to face the things that terrify me. I’m going to finally let myself bleed out to one person again and confess what I’m scared to even think.
It’s time. I’m going to do it.
I’m going to tell Nora I’m in love with her.
Chapter 23
Nora
“Man.” Rich pumps his fist in the air and smiles. “Look at that catch.” He stands up. A loud clap hits the air as he smacks his thighs while laughing. “That ain’t no hail Mary, but it’s damn close. And that’s the game right there.” Sinking back down to his couch, he grabs his notebook and starts writing.
Sitting on the opposite end, I tuck my knees tighter into my chest and grin. “I think you were made to be a sports analyst.”
“Oh God, yes.” He doesn’t even lift his head. There’s a boyish charm plastered all over his face thanks to his crooked smile, and his eyes are bright as his pen flies across the paper. “Sports is life, sweet thing. Without it, I’d probably die.”
Sweet thing. The way he says it makes my heart go warm and soft. My lips quirk up. Rich is nice, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed his company over the last week and a half.
We haven’t done a dang thing. No sex, kissing, hand holding, we haven’t really even flirted, but he’s been kind to me—and his company has bandaged over the hurt that continues to linger. Without him, I wouldn’t even be smiling on most days.
I was quick to accept when he texted me at work earlier, inviting me over for pizza, beer, and a college game.
He hollers when the final quarter ends and booms out a big ‘hell ya’ before returning to his notebook, jotting more stuff.
Watching him, there’s the biggest smile spanned across my mouth. I knew he reported on sports, but getting to know him better and seeing his passion is so enjoyable that I can’t help but be caught up in his enthusiasm.
The grin fades when my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s a text, and I already know it’s from Tessa since our time together has been nil.
I ended up getting a new job at a new pharmacy a few days ago, and between settling into my new position and Rich, I’ve been putting her off. Muffling a sigh, I pull out my phone and look at the screen. Sure enough.
If you don’t get your ass over here by tonight, I’m getting a new friend.
Threats of dissolving our friendship are only used as the ultimate way to get my attention. Guilt pricks at my insides. She has every reason to be upset since I’m failing in the friend department.
My night with Rich is going to be a short one. I quickly text Tessa back.
Get the hot tub ready. I’ll be there.
A smiling emoji is her immediate response––a good sign that I’ll be forgiven.
Rising to my feet, I collect my paper plate and glance at his. “Are you done with that?”
“Oh, yeah, but you don’t have to clean up.” He extends his hand, asking for my plate. “I don’t mind.”
“Neither do I, and I’m already on my feet.” Snagging the plate out of his hands, I stroll away and head for the kitchen.
Boards groan under his ample weight as he follows along. “Are… uhh… are you heading out?”
His distinct scent swirls from behind—chewing tobacco and cedar. At first, I wasn’t sure about the smell. It was so different, so not Bentley, but now I like it. Its warmth reminds me of a hug, and I find the ending notes comforting. My stomach flexes while placing the plates in the trash.
“Nora?”
It dawns on me I still haven’t answered his question. Spinning on my heel, a flush hits my cheeks when I meet his dark gaze. “I am. I promised my other friend I’d meet her tonight.”
“Oh.” He pockets his hands, and his mouth flexes down. “Tessa, right? I always see you two together.”
He’s noticed so much more about me than I thought. More than Bentley ever did. Warmth blankets over me, and if Tessa wasn’t so upset, I’d stay in a heartbeat. “I’m afraid I’ve been neglecting her.”
“Is that my fault?”
“Maaaaybe.” I purse my lips when he chuckles.
He shuffles a step closer, his heat entering into my bubble. “Should I apologize for monopolizing you?”
I shrug.
“Because I don’t want to.” The gentle tone lacing his words causes the room to swirl around me. Breathing is labored when he extends one hand out and rests his palm on the island, boxing me in on one side. His dark gaze sinks to my mouth. “I keep hoping you’ll change your mind, Nora. I might be holding out for longer than I should be. I’ve tried to not spend time with you, but I can’t help it.”
I manage a dry swallow as desire pools into the lowest part of my stomach. “Rich––”
He waves his free hand in the air, signaling for me to stop. “I’m not the most patience person, Nora.” His thick brows pinch together, eyes dropping to the floor. “But I’m pumping the brakes because I can tell you’ve been hurt.” What sounds like an embarrassed laugh softly slips out. “Funny, I’ve spent my whole life watching all the men in my life get run over by women. Never thought I’d see a bruised up girl, and that it would put my dick in a chain.” His throat bobs with a gulp, “Sorry if that’s rude.”
“It is and it’s not.” The urge to touch him coils down my arm and around my fingers. I reach my hand out, letting it float in the air, but stop. It seems so bold, but my heart isn’t that, at least not right now. “I appreciate your honesty. Just don’t forget that we all get hurt, Rich––women included.”
His head bounds up, the corners of his eyes pinching. “I see that now. I can see… Shit, this sounds awful, but now I see not all women are bitches.” He reaches his hand out and cups my face.
My pulse jumps like it’s jolting back from the dead, and I’m finally aware of my beating heart once more. A blush creeps up my cheeks as I get lost in dark mahogany eyes.
Calloused fingers soothe over my skin as he sighs. “I’ve only done casual flings, so don’t expect too much from me, but I’d like to think we could last more than a few weeks.” Uncertainty flickers in his tightening gaze. “And who knows. Maybe causal is what you need for a change.”
He’s not promising me anything. Rich is putting all his cards up front, and is showing sheer honesty, and that’s more than I got from Bentley. My hand that was floating wraps around his forearm, and the organ behind my ribs swells in my chest, telling me it’s still there. Still alive. “Maybe. Let’s see what happens first.”
“Sounds good.” After patting the side of my face gently, he drops his hand and takes a step back. “You better get to Tessa.”
“You’re right.” I lightly pat his stomach and slide past him.
I’ve crossed into the living and am collecting my purse when his voice catches my ear. “Oh, by the way. My birthday is next week.” He stops short of the living room and leans his tall body against the frame of the entrance. “I’ve rented out part of O'Malley's Rec and Pub here in town. We’ll have a pool table, a few bowling lanes, and a dance floor.”
“Wow.” My brows lift. “Going all out, I see.”
“Always do.” He grins. “Anyway, I’d like for you to come… As a matter of fact, I’d like for you to come as my date.” He halfway shrugs, and it looks so unsure.
I kind of like it. After watching Bentley parade around, this uncertainty is a welcomed sight. I hike my strap higher on my shoulder and nod once—euphoria filling the cavity in my chest. “I’d love that.”
“Awesome.” His face lights up. “Thanks, Nora.”
“My pleasure.” I give him a smile and move for the door. “See ya later.”
I step outside, and the door latches behind me. The air is crisp, working its way through the weaving of my sweater, bringing a delightful shiver to my skin. Touching my hand against my neck, my pulse zings through my skin, into my fingertips. I relish feeling it again. It seems like such a small thing, but it’s something. My mouth quirks upward. I like him.
Then my heart drops, straight into the ground.
Tessa won’t. She’s going to hate this, and because I’ve been avoiding her for so long, she’s going to demand answers. I stop a groan and head to my car. Might as well get it over with. The sooner, the better.
I hop into my car and head straight to Tessa’s, hoping she won’t wring my neck too hard, even though she probably will.
“So. Besides your new job, which has only been going on a few days…” Tessa’s voice already has that edge to it—the nosey pushy one, and I haven’t even been here for ten minutes. “You going to tell me where you’ve been for almost two weeks, or do I have to play twenty questions?”
I take a sip of wine, desperate to control my quickening heart, and slump deeper into the water. “You don’t want to know.”
“Oh, brother. That’s the worst possible answer you could give.” She exhales long and hard. “You know that means I have to find out now, right? ”
“Don’t. I’m telling you now not to prod.”
“Nora Rae Davis, you better tell me what you’re doing.”
She moves to stand up in the hot tub, and despite the steam circling in the air, my blood chills.
“Fine! Fine.” My back presses into the hard plastic of the hot tub walls. “I’ve been with Richard Prather.”
Her eyes widen, mouth hinging open. “Rich?” She drops her glass into the water. “Shit.” A scowl flashes across her face, and as she fishes out the glass, crimson red wine mingles in the hot tub and spreads out like ink. “You really think that’s wise, Nora? Fucking Bentley’s friend just for the hell of it?”
“We haven’t slept together.”
“Really, Nora?” One of Tessa’s brows arches high, disdain sharpening her features. “All that douche does is fuck around.” She grimaces and jerks her head off to the side. “Hell, I think he’s worse than Bentley.”
My shoulders deflate. “Well, he’s been nice to me.”
“Oh, I am sure he has.”
“I’m being serious, Tess.” Irritation rattles my gut. I sigh, swirling my index finger through a trail of red. “Besides, Bentley has nothing to do with it.”
“Uh-huh, she counters flat and cold. “Says the girl whose heart was shattered a few weeks ago.”
“Exactly.” I bite the inside of my lip. “So lay off and allow me some fun. I think I’ve earned that much. Besides, I really like his company.”
“If it wasn’t Rich, I’d say go for it. As it is—” She squints at me.
“What?” I toss back a quick sip of wine, intense heat boiling just beneath the surface of my skin. “You think this is a rebound or something?”
“Think, or know?” Her head tilts while her shoulders sink under the water. “Nor, this is a disastrous idea. When Bentley comes back he’ll be so pissed.”
“If he comes back.” I snort hard through my nose, directing my attention to the snow-crusted mountains. “Rich doesn’t know what happened between us, and he hasn’t mentioned him. I don’t think anyone knows if he’s coming back.”
“Unless his apartment is listed on the market and he’s quit his job, I’m sure he’ll be back.”
“Doubt it,” I mutter.
“Delusional much?” The water shifts around her, and even that motion simmers with her annoyance.
Glancing over, I scowl––the irritation grinding against my nerves makes the look deepen.
“Hey, it’s your life.” She puts two hands up in surrender. “But don’t be so naive to think Bentley won’t come back. Also, don’t think he won’t have something to say about you sleeping with his pal.”
“I’m not sleeping with him.” I ignore her eye roll. “Besides, this isn’t Bentley’s concern.” I drain my glass and set it aside. “Rich is a grown-ass man––I’m a grown-ass woman.” A chill hits my shoulders, and I tuck my arms tightly across my chest. “If I decide to have sex with Rich, then so be it. Bentley can shove it up his playboy ass for all I care.”
Tess tilts her head and scrunches one side of her slim nose. “Sounds like revenge to me.”
The accusation should make my heart bleed out with agony, but it doesn’t. Simply because Bentley already did that. He bled me out when he packed up and left me in his bedroom without even a goodbye.
Today was the first day I felt anything besides darkness, and that’s because of Rich. He doesn’t have my heart, but he does make me feel better, and at the moment, sleeping with him kind of sounds like fun, especially after how he made me feel this afternoon.
“Any other time, Tess, you’d be right, but as it is, you’re wrong. This isn’t revenge.” I pinch my lips tight, shaking my head. “This is me just moving on from something that was never meant to be.”
“Yeah, don’t be so sure about that.” Black hair tumbles everywhere after she releases it from the pony holder. “And I don’t care what bull crap you’re trying to spew my way. You being so defensive gives you away. You’re totally fucking Rich Prather which is gross because he’s gross.”
“Whatever, Tessa. Suit yourself.”
She grabs a towel, secures it around her body. “I’ll see you inside. I have chili going in the crockpot.” She escapes into the house.
Sitting alone, I let the red water slosh around my shoulders. It’s probably the wrong attitude, but Tessa’s words and accusations grate at the raw edges of my heart, making me aware of how desperately I want to forget Bentley. So far, Rich is proving to me that he might make me forget, even if it is just a fuck.
I let his words replay. I’ve only done casual flings, but maybe you and I can be a little bit more. I don’t know if we can but…
I’ve never done a casual anything, but maybe I should change that.
My fingers stroke up and down the stem of the wine glass, and I shrug. I shouldn’t even be contemplating this. However, I’m beyond caring. I look to the mountainous horizon from the balcony and smirk. I want to make Tessa’s accusations come true. So I’m going to do it. I’m going to sleep with Rich and see if I like him. I don’t care if he can’t commit.
Honestly, I don’t want him to. Commitment. The word alone slices through my stomach like a double-edged knife––forget actual monogamy. Stable is the last thing I need.
I nod and push out a breath, letting my air trail in the frosty night, my mindset like steel in concrete. For once, I’m going to let loose and have fun because I deserve it. Good-girl Nora be damned.
Chapter 24
Bentley
“Wait, what?” Lena’s voice blares in my ear while I undo the front lock
to my house. “You saw Ivy last week and didn’t tell me? Why the hell not?”
“Because I was scared you’d track her down and gouge out her eyes.”
“You’re damn right I would have.”
I chuckle, step into my house and flick on the light.
It’s been a month since I left, and there’s a blanket of dust covering my black coffee table. When I look over my shoulder, I frown. My curtain and the rod for the front window are on the floor. “What happened here?”
“What happened where?” Lena asks.
“Oh, nothing big. My curtain rod fell off.” I bend down and pick it up. Glancing at the brackets, I gather it’s an easy fix since they’re intact.
“Really? Weird. Anyway,” she huffs over the phone. “Shame on you for not telling me about Ivy.”
“I could say the same.” Tossing the curtain rod onto the couch, I throw my duffle bag next to it. “You failed to tell me that she’s pregnant.”
She coughs. “I didn't know you'd be coming home so soon. I thought she’d be gone wherever. Also, I wasn’t sure how you’d take the news of her being knocked up.”
“It didn’t bother me.” I untuck the mail shoved under my armpit from earlier and skim through it. All junk, not a surprise. “A little shocking, but honestly, she looked so bad that it didn’t hurt.”
She sucks in a breath. “How was she? A total bitch?”
“Not a first, but when she couldn’t bullshit me, yeah.” My eyes widen, and I shake my head. “And not an ounce of remorse either.”
“As expected.”
“Glad I finally wisened up and discovered it wasn’t me after all.”
A light chuckle rings through the earpiece. “Told you I was right.” Smugness lives in her tone.
I roll my eyes. “Shut up.”
Silence dangles in the air. She’s listening to me––for once.
My eyes close, and fatigue from the plane ride home finally catches up. I moan and rub one of my shoulders. Why can’t they make those seats a little wider?
“And what are you going to do about Nora?”
Lena’s voice makes my eyes fly open, and the question shoots anxiety straight to my gut. It grows when I look around the house. Everything is flooding back, and fast. Tension climbs in my neck.
It’s taken me a month to decide what to do with this girl, but I finally found my answer on the plane ride home. I’ve decided not to confess my feelings. At least not yet. I round my shoulders. “I’m going to offer her an apology and an olive branch.”
