Saved by the Pitcher, page 6
“Everything okay?” James ventured when they were only a couple of blocks from James’ apartment.
“Hmm? Oh, yes. Everything is fine. I do have some pressing business to address, though. Maybe a raincheck on dinner?”
James felt his heart thud. All day, he had been coaxing his brain and other parts of his body to behave, focusing on the ballgame instead of the tickle of Mike’s leg hairs against his, or the touch of Mike’s strong hand caressing his back. James had been too afraid to escalate anything for fear someone could communicate back to his father about what they’d seen. Now he could have been with Mike in the privacy of his apartment, and Mike was going to bail. He racked his brain to think of whether he had said something off-putting. He didn’t think it was Billy’s dick-pic threat because Mike had played along. James tried to reason with himself that maybe Mike was being honest that a business issue was pressing.
“Okay,” James replied, knowing his tone didn’t hide his disappointment.
“I’m sorry. We can get together again soon.”
James felt some relief, hoping that Mike’s words were genuine. “I understand.”
“Do you play golf?” Mike asked.
James was puzzled. “That’s kind of random, isn’t it?”
Mike shrugged. “I was going to say that maybe we could play a game of golf someday.”
James nodded. “I do play golf. I’m pretty good, I guess. I’m only free on Mondays, though. It’s the day of the week Broadway goes dark. Starting tomorrow, I’m back at work for six days.”
“Okay. We’ll try for a Monday, then.”
James realized the change in their dynamic wasn’t his imagination. While it had seemed earlier that Mike couldn’t wait to be alone with James, he was now suggesting an unspecific Monday to venture back to a public place.
The car arrived at James’ apartment, and James feared it could be the last time he’d see Mike. “Um, do you think you could come up for a cup of coffee before you head to work?”
Mike shook his head. “I’m sorry. Maybe I can call you later?”
James nodded his assent. When Mike didn’t lean in for a kiss goodbye, James felt foolish continuing to sit in the car. “Okay. Talk to you later, then.”
James tried to act unbothered as he exited the car, not looking back as it drove away from the curb. He figured if he received a call later, his worries might be over nothing. If he didn’t receive a call, then James had to face the fact that Mike was making excuses to hide that something had changed between them.
James figured he would have a long wait by the phone, wondering if he’d done or said something to end Mike’s interest.
* * * *
Mike felt bad about the way he had parted with James. Throughout the ballgame, he had been anticipating an evening of making out at the very least, and he still wasn’t sure listening to Billy had been the right thing to do. James had looked disappointed when Mike had told him he had to leave, and he worried that heeding Billy’s advice might have had the opposite effect of what his brother had intended. Perhaps James would refuse a second date, figuring if he wasn’t going to be a higher priority than work, then Mike wasn’t worth wasting time over.
Mike reread the text from Billy and continued to find it odd. Mike didn’t want to think there were underhanded reasons for the message, but James’ comment about Billy wanting to masturbate with him weighed on him. He wondered if Billy could have wanted James to lose interest in Mike with the hopes that Mike would consider Billy’s offer. He also found that hard to believe, remembering how Billy and Nadia seemed like a great match and that Billy and James had a close relationship. Mike hoped his suspicions were unfounded, not only because he liked James and wanted a shot at seeing where things went with him, but also because it would devastate James if his brother betrayed him.
If, on the other hand, Billy had been right that James would end things after a sexual encounter, Mike wondered what that would mean for him and James. Billy had said to try to build an emotional bond with James first. Mike found, though, there were moments when James had been guarded and wasn’t easy to read. Mike questioned whether James would even admit it if he started to develop feelings for him because it seemed that James had a wall around him.
Mike realized that one way to get clarity would be another communication with James. Mike had suggested he might call that evening, and enough time had passed since they parted that Mike’s excuse of having needed to tend to business would still seem plausible. He could pretend he had just wrapped up the last bit of work.
He was about to dial James when another call came in instead. It was from Jessica. Mike’s instinct was to ignore it, but he knew from their history that she would be relentless. It was better to be done with whatever she was calling about.
“Jessica?” Mike answered after clicking the accept icon on his phone.
“What the fuck, Mike? You’re into guys? Is that why you broke up with me?” Jessica yelled.
“No. Jessica, I told you why…”
“Were you screwing around with men while we were dating? Did you give me an STD?” Jessica demanded.
“Jesus. Of course not. That’s closed-minded, isn’t it?” Mike shot back.
“You’re going to lecture me? Were you picturing some dude while you were with me? It makes me sick!”
“Jessica, calm down,” Mike managed. “I didn’t cheat on you, and I never pictured other people when I was with you. I am attracted to women too, and I’m a monogamous guy.”
“Yeah, right. I’ll bet you were picturing some sick sex act with that actor from the musical the whole time we were sitting there watching him perform. You went backstage to meet him, hoping you could screw him, didn’t you?” Jessica accused.
Mike felt queasy. He wondered how she knew that. “What are you talking about?”
“And here I was, sick as a dog, and you were back there doing what? Lining up a time to get nasty with him?” Jessica continued.
“I don’t know why you’re saying that,” Mike replied, trying to stay calm.
“Because there’s a photo of you two online walking out of Yankee Stadium together. The caption under the photo reads something about him being the first guy you’ve been spotted with since announcing you’re a queer.”
“Shit,” Mike said, pulling up the screen on his iPad to search his and James’ names. As Jessica had stated, the photo had made it online, and the verbiage was as Jessica described, though the news wires were careful to note that Vicksburg was not known to be gay and there had been no public displays of affection—at least not caught on camera.
“He’s the reason you broke up with me, isn’t he?” Jessica continued.
Mike wiped a hand over his face, dropping himself on a nearby chair. “Jessica, he and I are friends.”
“Friends? How many times have you seen him since we went to that musical?”
“Today was the first time I saw him,” Mike explained.
“Then how are you friends already?” Jessica challenged. “No, I think you’re into this guy and that little date was the prelude to something sick. Question is, is he into you, too? Maybe I should talk to the press. It might be an interesting tidbit, don’t you think? Baseball star hooks up with conservative senator’s son.”
“Jessica, please don’t,” Mike implored. “Why would you do that to him? Nothing happened between us. I swear. He’s a Yankees fan. I had told him when I met him backstage that I could get him a seat in the box to watch a Yankees game,” Mike lied.
“Why? Why would you offer to do that, unless you’re attracted to him?”
“How about because I’m a nice guy? He seemed like a nice guy. Is it not okay to try to make friends with someone who seems cool?” Mike plowed on.
He could tell Jessica’s certainty about the situation was beginning to waver as she stayed silent for a moment. “Well, he must be an idiot if he went with you one-on-one the day after you announced you’re into cock. Didn’t he worry what people would think?”
“Did you call me to trash-talk me? Your choice of words is insulting and you’re sounding like a bigot right now,” Mike chastised.
“At least I’m not a liar!” Jessica shot back. “You made me the butt of jokes with my friends. One of them asked if I had to wear a strap-on when I had sex with you.”
Mike groaned. He knew some people would be unkind, but it didn’t make it easier to hear the ugliness being directed at him…and now toward Jessica. “I’m sorry they’re doing that. It seems to me they must not be very good friends to speak to you that way.”
“Don’t make this about them,” Jessica snarled. “You weren’t honest with me, and I don’t believe you weren’t screwing men while we were together.”
“I wasn’t,” Mike replied. “I’ve never been with a man like that.”
There was silence for a moment. Mike was surprised that Jessica’s tone then softened. “Well, how do you even know you like men? Maybe you’d hate sex with them. Why are you telling everyone this shit? It’s not too late. You can tell people it was a joke. We could get back together. We had something good, didn’t we?”
Mike leaned his head back against the seat cushion with frustration. “Jessica, stop. I don’t want to get back together with you. You and I are just too different.”
Her anger returned. “I don’t know about that. We both like men, except that’s natural for me and not you.”
Mike heard a disconnect. He thought he’d be ill from the way Jessica spoke to him. She had a right to be angry that he had deceived her, but he had treated her well while they were together and he had tried to be kind when ending the relationship. He was shocked to hear how hateful she was being to him now. It made him realize how many other LGBTQ individuals had suffered that and far worse.
He wasn’t in the frame of mind to call James. He didn’t want to speak with anyone. After a few hours of staring at the ceiling wondering if he had made a mistake in coming out—or in taking James to a public place—he fell into a restless sleep on the chair.
Chapter Seven
After the photo of James with Mike leaving Yankee Stadium hit the news wire, James’ father had phoned. And as James suspected, the call was about him being spotted with Mike. James was relieved that his explanation was an honest one—he had met Mike at his show and they decided to watch a ballgame together. Charles Vicksburg made an unkind suggestion that James should stay away from other men that shared his ‘frowned-upon preferences’ so as not to be tempted. His father not too subtly mentioned that Mike owned a restaurant in Manhattan—one which his father’s connections could make difficult to operate—if it even remained open.
James pushed through his stage performance, trying to overcome the sluggishness that came with general depression. When Mike hadn’t called him the night before as he had mentioned he might, James was convinced something had gone wrong. He wondered if one of his father’s thugs had already reached out to Mike and threatened him, scaring him off. Though it made James unhappy, he couldn’t blame Mike for backing off, and James thought it might be for the best in the long run.
Once James returned to his apartment from work, it was late, and he just wanted to go to bed to forget the sadness he felt from being trapped by his father and the impact it had on his life.
“Jesus!” James shouted when he flipped on the lights and saw Billy sleeping on his favorite chair.
Billy jolted awake, pulled his fists against his chest, and leaned into the side of the recliner. Once he realized it was James, his face was red from embarrassment and angry that he’d been startled. “Are you trying to scare me to death?”
“What are you doing here?” James demanded.
Billy looked hurt. “Why are you asking in that tone? You told me I’m always welcome here.”
James frowned before dropping his bag on the floor. He walked over to Billy to tousle his hair. “Of course, you are. But it’s eleven-thirty. Did you and Nadia fight?”
Billy appeared offended. “No. We never fight. I was worried about you. You went on your date yesterday and you never even called me. I sent you text messages and you didn’t respond.”
James sighed and sat on the couch. “Sorry. I just felt like it was too much to put in a text, and I was too depressed to talk.”
Billy went to sit next to him. He pulled James’ face toward his shoulder. Because of their height difference, James had to scooch down to rest his head.
“What happened? We were joking around on text while you were at the game. I thought things were going well,” Billy asked.
“They were,” James confirmed. “I don’t know. It was odd. We were heading back to my place, then he said he couldn’t come up because something happened at work and he had to tend to it.”
“Something happened at work? He’s retired.”
James nodded. “He owns a restaurant in addition to the ad work.”
“Oh. So, then what’s odd about what he said?”
James shrugged. “Maybe nothing. It’s just that the whole day he was acting like he wanted to—get together—if you know what I mean. He was finding ways to touch me and make suggestive comments. Then, for no reason, it seemed like he was hitting the brakes.”
James felt Billy flinch and assumed it was Billy’s reaction to the news, suggesting he thought it was a bad sign too. “Did he say anything that made you think he wasn’t interested in you anymore?”
James pondered. “No, but there was a mood change. He did suggest we play golf at some point, but he left it open-ended. It was the sort of thing you’d say to a casual friend when you’re parting. The thing that makes me think something is off is that he told me he’d try to call me last night, then he didn’t.”
“Well, maybe the work thing went late.”
“He hasn’t texted or called me today either,” James muttered. “I wonder if Father had something to do with it.”
“Father?”
James nodded, assuming Billy could sense the movement of James’ head against his shoulder. “He called me after the picture of me and Mike hit the wire.”
Billy groaned. “Let me guess. You got a lecture to stay away from the newly outed bisexual man.”
“Yup, along with a few thinly veiled threats against Mike’s business ventures,” James confirmed.
“What an asshole,” Billy snarled. “James, you can’t keep letting Father control you.”
James pulled his head away from Billy so he could look at him. “You don’t get it. Father doesn’t go after me anymore. He threatens my co-workers. He threatens the people I date. I think we both know he’s good for delivering on those threats. I don’t want to be the reason more people get hurt.”
Billy squeezed James’ shoulder. “You should tell Mike, and let him decide for himself if he’s willing to fight Father.”
James barked a sarcastic laugh. “You mean the guy who doesn’t even call me? If he was already threatened by Father in some way, I think I have the answer as to whether he’d go to battle. Anyway, I’m relieved because I wouldn’t want him hurt.”
Billy nodded. “Of course, but maybe he wasn’t threatened and he didn’t reach out to you for some other reason. You could call him, you know.”
James shook his head. “No. If he was threatened, it would put him on the spot, and it could make him feel guilty that he’s not willing to stand up to Father. And even if he wasn’t threatened, I don’t want to be that needy, starstruck loser who’s begging to be liked by a celebrity. Pathetic.”
Billy was silent for a couple of minutes, then he made an expression where he folded his upper and lower lips into each other. His eyes signaled he was nervous. James knew from experience the look preceded Billy saying something he knew would anger James. “Um, there may be a reason he cooled off with you at the end of your date, and it had nothing to do with Father.”
James was confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I texted him,” Billy blurted.
“You texted Mike?” James asked. He was shocked. “Why? Wait, you didn’t actually send him a dick pic, did you?”
Billy looked mortified. “Dude, no! I would never do that. I was joking with you. Christ, he didn’t think I was serious about hitting on him, did he?”
James shrugged. “I didn’t think so. So, what did you text him?”
Billy started fidgeting with a button on his shirt, as if it was a point of physical irritation. “I might have suggested he not sleep with you,” Billy muttered at his chest.
“You might have what?” James exploded. “Billy, what the fuck? Why do you keep putting your nose in my business? And why would you have said that?”
Billy crouched like he was afraid he’d be punched, even though he knew James would never hurt him. “I was trying to be helpful.”
James dragged a hand through his hair multiple times, then looked down at the space between his knees. He stayed silent for several moments before speaking. “Okay, Billy. I’ve taken a few deep breaths. Now, tell me how you thought that was helping me.”
Billy’s voice was small at his side. “I told him that you were afraid of relationships, and that if you two got together too fast, that might be the end of it. I told him the two of you should get to know each other better first.”
James continued looking down and away from Billy, not responding for a moment. “And you thought that was your place to say that to him?”
“I’m sorry, James. I just hate that you’re alone. He seems like a nice guy, and you mentioned you might like something more with him,” Billy explained, his voice cracking along the way.
James sighed. “Why do you keep meddling?”
Billy projected a bit louder now. “Because I care about you, dammit! You seem hell-bent on punishing yourself for what Father did to your boyfriend—what he did to Daniel wasn’t your fault!”
