Sassing Saul, page 17
part #10 of Coletti Warlords Series
He tutted. “And ruin the surprise?”
“Give it up. He’s not going to tell you,” Saul murmured in my ear.
“Swell.” There was fleeting flash of blackness and we stood in front of a medieval fortress complete with moat and drawbridge.
“How romantic,” Casey quipped. “It’s like something out of the Dark Ages.”
“As we are still at battle status, it is a secure location,” Hothar pointed out.
I wanted to whack him with my flowers. “It’s not a church.”
Kaylee gave me a reassuring smile. “Talree said there’s a chapel inside.”
“Gee, I can’t wait to see it.” Bet it had the rack and other instruments of torture.
“Relax,” Detja said. “I arranged your honeymoon. You will be pleased with the location.”
“Yay, something to look forward to.” Prickles ran up my spine and a flash of orange caught my attention. I turned. A man who was a dead ringer for Hell stood at the end of the driveway. A shudder shook me. It wasn’t possible. He was dead and ghosts didn’t wear orange and white stripped uniforms.
Saul tilted my head up. “Are you okay? You’re as white as a sheet.”
“I thought I saw someone I knew.”
“Who?” Alarm filled his eyes. “One of our enemies?”
“Hell.” I glanced back at the driveway. He was gone.
“He’s dead.”
“I know.” I let out a shaky laugh. “Maybe I’m still hung over.”
I felt Saul scan the area psychically. “I’m not sensing any hostiles.”
“Anyone stupid enough to attack us today is going to be really sorry.”
“Very much so. Zarek’s looking for someone to kill,” Saul commented.
Zarek glanced at his bracelet. “The minister is waiting.” He teleported.
Poof! We appeared inside the chapel. Hand-painted frescos covered the walls. A vaulted ceiling soared above us and the stained-glass windows cast a colorful glow over the simple altar. An elderly man dressed in a black robe waited for us.
“Wow!” Kaylee gasped.
Casey ran a hand over the wooden benches. “It’s like we traveled back in time.”
The Tar flower slid down until it was perched over my right eye. I blew at it.
Saul tucked the flower behind my ear and led me up to the minister.
The minister inquired, “Do you have your marriage license?”
Oh shit! Before I could totally freak out, Zarek handed it to him.
The minister smiled, tucked it into his robe and picked up his bible. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.” He smiled at Saul. “Repeat after me. I, Saul Jones, take you, Annie Russell, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever.”
Saul recited it obediently.
The minister turned to me. “Repeat after me. I, Annie Russell, take you, Saul Jones, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever.”
My gaze never leaving Saul’s I said my vows.
“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot be lawfully jointed in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.” The minister glanced around the chapel.
“I can,” a harsh male voice shouted.
Everyone turned to look.
An older version of Hell wearing an orange hat with a yellow pig on the brim, an orange and white striped shirt and pants stood at the rear of the chapel. “That murdering bitch killed my son and stole all of his money.”
I eyed his outfit. “Seriously, what are you wearing?”
“He must work at that new fast food place called Cheap Bites,” Casey whispered.
The minister waved him forward. “Who are you and what proof do you have?”
“I’m Jesus Smith.”
“The son of God he ain’t,” Kaylee muttered.
Jesus stormed down the aisle. “I don’t need any fucking proof. My word is good enough.”
“No. It is not,” Zarek stated coldly and fingered his sword.
My temper flared to life. Enough already. I hit Jesus with a psychic stun grenade and smiled brightly as he crumpled to the floor. Problem solved.
“Dear Lord! He’s having a heart attack! Someone call 9-1-1.”
I blocked the minister from running to Jesus’s aid. “There’s no need to call 9-1-1. He’s fine. He’s simply taking a nap, please continue with the ceremony,” I growled.
The minister clutched the bible to his chest. “A nap?”
“You heard my lady, finish it,” Saul instructed.
He cleared his throat nervously. “Of course. Of course. Who has the rings?”
“I do.” Detja stepped forward with the rings on a gold tray.
“Excellent.” Opening his bible, the minister continued, “These wedding rings are an unbroken circle of love. It is the seal of the vows you have taken. Saul the ring you place on Annie’s finger is a symbol of your commitment to her.”
Saul picked up a simple copper band with an intricate design etched into it and slid it on my finger.
“Annie…”
“Yeah, yeah love eternal,” I interjected and dropped the flowers on the tray. I took the other copper band and placed it on Saul’s finger.
“These rings signify to all the union of this couple in marriage. By the powers vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You my kiss your bride.”
Saul gave me a long kiss that turned my bones to Jell-O.
Instead of cheers and well wishes, the warrior bellowed their battle cries.
The minister fled.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Detja arranged for us to honeymoon on a privately-owned Tahitian island. It was a tropical paradise complete with white sand beaches and a turquoise blue lagoon.
The glass-walled villa was furnished with colorful rattan furniture in an airy blend of outdoor and indoor living. Potted hibiscus in a variety of colors dotted the red tile patio. From the balcony you could admire the tranquil seas or a waterfall tumbling down a fern covered cliff.
“Woo hoo! I love it! And best of all no battle armor needed.” I tapped my controls. Snikt. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. My armor abruptly melted away until I was wearing nothing but a smile.
Saul grinned. Snikt. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. His armor shrank away, revealing his red plaid boxers and matching socks.
“Ah, sweetie, those socks gotta go.”
He pulled them off. “We can swim, sleep as long as we want and make love all night long.”
“We can, but why wait?” Saul’s luscious body was mine to explore. To taste. To lick.
Desire etched starkly on his face Saul pulled me closer. His hard, muscled frame felt like home. Our minds connected and the intensity of his hunger, his need to possess me, inflamed my senses. Our mouths met and his tongue slid in for a hot dance with mine.
Ghostly hands stroked my body and I almost died from a blast of pleasure that exploded in my hoo-ha. “Bed now!”
An instant later, we popped into a room with a rattan canopy bed. Saul tossed me on the silky red bedspread. “You want it hard and fast or slow and easy?”
“Hard and fast, but you need to lose the boxers, cowboy.”
In swift movement his boxers were gone. Saul climbed on the bed and prowled toward me. “Your pussy belongs to me.” He buried his head between my legs.
His magical tongue swirled around my sensitive clit. “Oh, God. That’s feels so good.”
“A warlord uses his mind and body to make love.” One thick finger speared inside me and at the same time sharp teeth bit down on my nubbin. Nip. Thrust. Nip. Thrust. My hips bucked wildly, and my eyes rolled back in my head at the exquisite torment.
His big, callused hands slid up my body and tweaked my nipples. “Can you tell what is real? What is only in your mind?”
“Nope. Don’t care. Need. You. Inside me.”
“As my lady commands.” Saul spread my knees. “I’m gonna slide my snake thingy deep inside you and fuck your brains out, again and again until the only touch you remember is mine.”
In my mind’s eye, I watched his penis slide into me. His vibrating joy toys pulsated up my channel. I gasped as I felt the little buggers slip deeper inside me, sending pleasure cascading through me. Digging my nails into his very fine ass, I ground against him and commanded. “More.”
Saul pumped his hips, harder, faster and his horny little dudes drove me over the edge, again and again and again. I screamed as the world exploded around me.
Throwing his head back, Saul roared his battle cry.
I patted his butt cheek. “Yippee-ki-yay, cowboy. You have mastered the art of psychic sex.”
“I am Coletti. We do everything better.”
“Right. You know what I think?”
Saul kissed my nose. “What?”
“Sometimes you have to go through Hell to find true love.”
“And happily ever after?” The love in Saul’s eyes made the luckiest woman in the world.
“Happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale. I have all I need or want.”
The end has come! But wait! The Trouble With Tigers is coming soon!
I hope you enjoyed this book.
A review is greatly appreciated.
For news on the Coletti Warlords and Shenanigans 2,
upcoming events and contests go to my Facebook page:
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Books in the Coletti Warlord series
Vexing Voss
Reality Bites
Just Desserts
Wulf and the Bounty Hunter
Game on Askole
Crossing Quinn
Hothar’s Folly
Sassing Saul
Paranormal Titles:
Shenanigans
Catching Dragos
Gail Koger links:
goodreads.com/author/show/1598719.Gail_Koger
Twitter: @Askole
facebook.com/Colettiwarlordbooks
Gail Koger, Sassing Saul
