Through Each Tomorrow, page 24
When we arrived at the Thames, the bridge was guarded since the queen was in residence at the castle. My heart beat wildly as we approached, but the guard on duty simply nodded once as we passed by and then turned to look in the opposite direction.
What was happening?
We walked down High Street, past homes and businesses, which were closed for the night. Neither of us spoke, but the longer we stayed silent, the more questions I had.
I was thankful I had chosen a simple dress, one that would not raise too much suspicion if we were seen. I wasn’t wearing my farthingale, which also helped, since commoners rarely wore wide skirts.
When we finally passed Eton College and were on the outskirts of Windsor Village, I turned to Andrew, perplexed and uncertain.
“Will you tell me now?” I whispered.
We continued to walk, though Andrew slowed the pace as he looked down at the sleeping babe in his arms.
“’Tis the queen’s.”
I stopped in my tracks. “The queen’s?”
He took my hand, tugging me to continue. “We cannot waste a moment, Cecily.”
I started to walk again and stared down at the baby. “The queen’s?” I asked again.
“Aye. He was born just a few hours ago, so we must hurry. He’ll be wanting his first meal before too long, and it will be hard to go unnoticed when he begins to cry.”
“How long can a baby wait to eat after he’s born?”
“They should eat as soon as possible, but he can wait for six hours or so. The family we are taking him to has an infant in the home, and the mother has agreed to take on another child.”
“As a wet nurse?”
“No.” Andrew’s voice was serious. “As the baby’s new mother.”
“Does the family know who the real mother is?”
“No. And they must never know. They are distantly related to Kat and think the baby was born to an unmarried servant in the castle.”
“Who else knows the queen had a baby?” I tried to keep up with him.
“Shh.” He put his finger to his lips. “You cannot say that again, Cecily. If anyone hears, there could be disastrous repercussions.”
“Who else knows?” I asked quieter.
“Just Kat, you, and me.”
My mouth parted as a new question formed. “Who is the father? Does he know about the child’s existence?”
Andrew was quiet for a moment and then shook his head. “He does not know a child exists.”
“But you know the father’s identity?”
“Aye. The queen told me, but it matters not.”
“Is it Lord Robert?”
Andrew didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. I saw the truth on his face.
The moon paved our path as we continued down the road and it turned into a country lane. Very little stirred this late at night, and even the crickets and frogs were silent. It was so hot, I longed for some wind or a breath of fresh air, but everything was still and quiet.
“Why was the queen so ill?” I asked.
“I believe she suffered from a sickness called toxemia. There is little known about it here, and not much more known about it in 1883, but it causes toxins to build up in the system during pregnancy. Sometimes, it can be deadly, and the baby is often born early and small.” He looked down at the child. “This one is no more than four and a half pounds. ’Tis a miracle he’s alive.”
My heart warmed at seeing Andrew with the baby in his arms, cradling him protectively, risking everything to get him to a safe home.
“Will the queen recover?”
“Aye.” He nodded. “She will soon return to normal, and if we are fortunate, no one will learn about the baby or the pregnancy. The scandal would give her enemies justification to hate her and overthrow her power. And if anyone knew the queen had an heir—even an illegitimate heir—the queen’s life would be in danger. A male on the throne is more desirable than a female, and one so young can be manipulated and used by people in authority. There are those who would kill the queen to see this boy become king.” He looked up at me. “You must never breathe a word to anyone, Cecily. The queen and Kat have worked hard to keep her pregnancy a secret.”
“I would never betray my queen.” I thought about all the times I’d seen the queen, noticing that she’d put on weight, but she’d always had a tray of sweets with her, and I’d just assumed that she had been eating too many. Even when I saw her in her bed the other day, there had been so many pillows and blankets around her, I hadn’t noticed an enlarged stomach.
“Thank you,” Andrew said. “I wish you weren’t put in this position, but I know we can trust you.”
I suddenly realized that if he and I were caught, and someone learned our real identities, my reputation would be ruined. My chances of marrying a Lord of the Realm would disappear, and then Charles would not be free to leave 1563.
We could not be caught.
It took over three hours to reach the outskirts of Hedgerly, north of Windsor Castle. We had passed no one on the road, for which I was thankful, and the sky was still dark, though daybreak was not far off.
Andrew and I had spent much of the walk in silence. We had not been together for this much time since the night we’d kissed, and I wasn’t sure what was left to say between us.
The baby started to fuss, and Andrew bounced him gently as he spoke soft words of comfort, but the baby didn’t settle.
“He’s getting hungry,” Andrew said.
“May I try? My sister had a baby in 1913, and I spent a lot of time with her before—” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t like to talk about my death.
Andrew slowly transferred the baby into my arms.
The little bundle was warm and lighter than I’d imagined. He wore a soft nightgown, and he smelled of fresh soap. My heart ached for the baby, knowing what he would face if anyone ever learned the truth about his identity—and mourning for both him and the queen. It must have been torture for her to give up her child. I prayed the family in Hedgerly was kind and good to him.
The baby continued to cry, so I gently placed my little finger on his bottom lip. He latched on without effort and began to suck, quieting his fussing for a little while, perhaps.
Andrew watched me, his face filled with tenderness. “You look natural with a baby.”
I couldn’t meet his gaze, my longing for him—for this—so fierce it took my breath away. “I miss my niece.” It was all I said, though I wanted to say so much more.
A candle came into sight as we walked over a little bridge.
“There,” Andrew said.
The baby started to lose interest in my finger and began to cry again as we hurried our footsteps to the cottage.
Neither of us spoke as we walked up the path to the front door, where a wreath hung.
I glanced around to see if anyone was awake in the village—but I saw no movement.
Andrew knocked on the door, and it sounded louder than normal as the rest of the village slept. He waited a moment and then knocked again.
Finally, there was a sound in the cottage, and the door slowly opened.
A bleary-eyed man appeared. He was clean-shaven and had a pleasant face.
“May I help you?” he asked—but as soon as he saw the baby in my arms, his eyes opened wide.
“We’ve come to bring the baby,” Andrew said.
“Aye.” The man didn’t hesitate, didn’t even blink as he reached for the bundle in my arms.
I was both relieved and sad to let the baby go, but I handed him over, thankful that he would get something to eat.
“Thank you,” Andrew said.
The man simply nodded and then closed the door without another word.
Andrew and I stared at the closed door for a second—and then the candle in the window was snuffed, and our job was done.
I felt Andrew’s hand on my elbow as he said, “We need to find an inn. We’ll wait until tomorrow night to make our way back.”
The weight of the coins in my pocket reminded me that our job wasn’t quite done, after all. We needed to get back without being detected.
How would Kat explain my absence from court? I had a feeling she would go to the chaperone in my dormitory and ask for her complete silence, and then they would fabricate a story for the other maids and ladies in waiting—perhaps that I was ill and sequestered in another part of the castle, or with Charles again. Whatever story they told, I would be apprised when I returned so I could play along with the ruse.
“Is there an inn in Hedgerly?” I asked Andrew.
“’Tis best we move on to a different village. This one is too small, and if anyone realizes the Southern family has a new baby and saw two strangers come through, they might start asking unwanted questions.”
“Where will we go?”
“Let’s return the way we’ve come. Farnham Heath is a larger village, and I saw an inn there.”
We turned and headed back. Farnham Heath was about thirty minutes behind us. My feet ached, and I was exhausted, but I wouldn’t complain.
The darkness started to soften as we came into the village. The path curved, and several buildings came within sight. There was one that looked like an inn or a pub, with candles in the windows, though there was no movement outside.
As we drew closer, I saw The Olde Bell Inn sign above the door.
Andrew paused before entering the building. “Mayhap we should say we’re married. It would raise fewer questions.”
I had not anticipated any of this, but I nodded, knowing we had little choice.
He opened the door, and we passed inside. The ceiling was low, and the room was dark. There were two men at a corner table, cups of ale in front of them. Both were clearly drunk, and one was in a stupor.
“Frank,” the other one called in a slurred voice, “you got some fancy customers.”
There was a shuffling noise, and an older man appeared through a short doorway next to the bar. He wore a dirty apron, and his face needed a shave. “What can I do for you?”
“My wife and I need a room,” Andrew said without hesitating or stumbling over his words.
I stepped closer to him as the men inspected me. My dress was simple, but it was still made of the finest material and craftsmanship. It would draw attention in a place like this.
“I have one room available,” the man said as he reached under the counter and pulled out a key. “Do you and the missus need something to eat?”
Andrew looked at me, and I shook my head.
The less I talked, the better. I didn’t want any more attention than we were already getting.
The innkeeper handed over the key and told us which room we could use on the second floor. Andrew paid for the room as the innkeeper brought us a candle.
When we were ready, Andrew led me toward our room.
“I’m sorry, Cecily,” he whispered as we climbed the narrow stairwell, concern in his voice. “’Tis not an ideal situation—none of it.”
“I will be fine.” I admired the way the candlelight flickered on his handsome features. “We are doing this for our qu—” I paused, not wanting to say more than I should, in case someone was listening.
Andrew unlocked the narrow door, and we passed inside.
The candle sent shadows to the corners of the small room, and what I saw caused me to shrink back, pressing into Andrew. It was dirty, run-down, and, if the disheveled, soiled bedding was any indication, probably infested with vermin.
Andrew’s free hand slipped around my waist. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know this isn’t what you’re used to.”
“I cannot sleep in that bed.” I didn’t want to sound like a spoiled or sniveling child, but I was certain I would regret laying my head on the pillow.
“Aye.” He slowly closed the door. “We’ll sit on the floor, against the wall. You can lean on me and try to get a bit of sleep. ’Tis not ideal, but we have little choice.”
He walked to the far wall, which was less than ten feet away, and set the candle on the floor. Then he slowly lowered to the ground and reached out his hand toward me.
His eyes were so calm, so reassuring, despite our circumstances. I couldn’t help but feel safe.
I joined him, sitting on the ground beside him.
Neither of us spoke for a moment as my shoulder pressed into his arm. I watched the candlelight, trying not to look at the room.
“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he finally said. “I know things have been a bit . . . awkward between us.”
A scampering noise in the opposite corner made me press closer to him, and he put his arm around me.
I wasn’t usually skittish, but I didn’t want to know what else was occupying this room.
“Charles has asked me—” He paused. “Now that the queen is on the mend.”
I looked up at him. “Charles has asked you what?”
He turned his face toward me, and we were so close, my heart began to beat a wild rhythm.
“He thinks ’tis best if I return to Arundel Castle,” Andrew said softly.
“Leave?”
“Aye.”
I didn’t respond. What could I say?
Instead, I laid my head against his shoulder, and his arm tightened around me.
“I will miss you, Andrew,” I whispered, tears gathering in my eyes.
“I want you to be happy.” He took my hand in his and ran his thumb over my fingers. “I wish I could be your knight in shining armor and rescue you from the choice you have to make, but I will trust and pray that whatever plans God has in store for you, you will find happiness.”
“I cannot imagine it to be possible.” I wiped my tears with the back of my free hand. “But I’m learning that I can survive hard things.”
He laced his fingers through mine and gave them a gentle squeeze. “He never leaves us, nor forsakes us, though sometimes, ’tis hard to understand His ways.”
God had been with me through each hardship and difficulty, and He would be my strength through this one.
We were quiet again as the sky lightened beyond the one, small window in the room. I was tired in body and soul, but I could not sleep.
“Thank you,” I finally whispered.
“For what?” he asked as he rubbed my hand again.
“For helping me find joy and purpose again.”
He slowly lifted my hand to his lips and placed a kiss there.
“I don’t know how I’m going to explain all of this to your stepbrother,” Andrew said with a sigh. “We have a busy day in Newport tomorrow. Evelyn and Charles have planned a fundraiser. He won’t know, yet, that we’ve spent the night at an inn together until he and I come back here. But it’s going to be hard not to say anything to him tomorrow in 1883.”
“Why would you need to explain? Surely Kat will make some excuse for us. And if the worst happens, you can just tell him the truth, that we came here to take care of the baby.”
“Charles can never know about the baby, Cecily.” He pulled away slightly, so I would look up at him. “You must never tell him or anyone else—no matter how inconsequential you think it might be.”
I nodded and quickly said, “I promise I won’t.”
He relaxed again, and I laid my head on his shoulder.
“It just feels dishonest not to tell him that we’re at this inn together,” Andrew said. “If anyone knew . . .” He didn’t finish the sentence, because I knew what would happen.
“No one will find out,” I assured him. “We’ll wait to return until night, and Kat will do everything to protect our reputations.”
His hand tightened around mine, but he didn’t speak.
Ever so slowly, I drifted off to sleep. And, despite the unpleasant room around us and the threat of being discovered, I’d never felt more comfortable or peaceful in my life.
Andrew had been a godsend. A gift amidst the heartache and loss.
20
CHARLES
AUGUST 3, 1883
NEWPORT, RHODE ISLAND
The day was overcast, but there was no rain as I stood on the tennis court, warming up for my match against the US Tennis Champion. Evelyn and I had come to the Newport Casino right after lunch to oversee the plans for the match, as well as the dinner and dance that would follow. Tickets were sold out, and the event had become the talk of the town. Even now, the galleries were full, and more people were coming onto the grassy lawn to watch the match.
I was happy for Evelyn and the Newport Home for Friendless Children. We’d exceeded our fundraising goals, and the orphanage would benefit beyond what Evelyn had hoped.
But, despite the success, there were so many things weighing on my mind, and my mood was as gray as the clouds.
Queen Elizabeth’s worsening condition had created near panic among the privy council. I had finally been well enough to join their meeting, but the division among the council had been exhausting. The letter that I’d sent to Mary, Queen of Scots, would not have arrived yet, and even if it had, the others believed it would encourage the Scottish queen to make haste to Windsor. I knew differently. There had been talk of sending a special messenger on horseback to get to Mary faster than the armed guards who carried the letter. But I worked hard to convince the council to wait another day, hoping Queen Elizabeth would recover. I’d spent much of my time trying to convince the council that Lady Katherine was a better choice to replace the queen, should it come to that. But several were hard to sway.
Drew had been with the queen all day and had shared no word about her status. When I had woken up in 1883, I wanted to talk to him to see if the queen had made any improvement the day before, but I could not find him. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was avoiding me. He hadn’t joined us for breakfast or lunch, and I hadn’t seen him since Evelyn and I had arrived at the casino.
A cheer arose from the crowd as Mr. Sears appeared, wearing a white shirt and a pair of white trousers. The third annual US Tennis Championship would begin tomorrow, and many people had come early to get one more opportunity to watch Mr. Sears play. I wasn’t under any delusion that I would beat him, but I would give it my best shot—especially because Evelyn had come out onto the lawn with her mother and a few other friends to watch.
