Bad Like Us, page 18
Everyone is pin-drop silent and staring at me.
“Miles?” Eva blinks like she can’t believe those words just came from me.
I clear my throat. “Because he said it, didn’t he? He thought Piper was the person who told the school about him selling test papers.”
Eva chokes out a sound, and my lungs tighten. Up until now, we’ve been on the same side, together. But now she’s looking at me like I’ve betrayed her, and it doesn’t feel good.
“He wasn’t selling papers,” she says firmly. “He was framed for it.”
“Do you really believe that?” Noah asks from across the table. His eyes are on Eva, and he’s waiting for a response. I figure he’s trying to back me up, but it isn’t helping. Her face falls, and he just keeps talking. “They tracked Miles through the computer system,” Noah says. “They had the footprint from when he logged on and when the tests were downloaded, that’s what I heard.”
“They could have gotten it wrong.” Danny’s voice is cold.
From across the table, Karly’s gaze lingers on him. “That would be unlikely, though, wouldn’t it?”
Danny falls silent, and my shoulders tighten. No good can come of this debate, especially with three of Miles’s closest friends in the room. None of them are going to want to hear this. “Look,” I jump in, “all I meant was, Miles had motive. Might have had motive.”
“You had motive, Colton,” Karly says, her eyes landing on me now. “Piper said you hated her, and we all saw it.” She pauses, glances at Danny, then adds, “Just saying.”
Danny sits taller. “Alright. If we’re going to do this, then let’s go.” He slaps his hands together. “We’ll go around the room and say who we each think did it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. Next to me, Eva sighs.
“Who is this helping?” she asks sharply.
“I want to know,” Danny says. “Don’t you? Don’t you want to know if any of your friends think you’re a murderer?”
“No.”
“I’ll go first,” Danny pushes on. There’s a bite to his voice, a venom that I don’t hear on him often. “I think it was Javier.” Just like that, no pause, no remorse for saying it. Just done.
He looks at Alice on the couch opposite. “Al,” he says, gesturing for her to speak. “Your turn.”
She hesitates, and for a second, I think she’s going to refuse to answer. And I realize I’m hoping she does refuse, because Eva’s right, who is this helping? But then Alice speaks, so softly I can barely hear her. “I don’t know.” Then after a pause, “But if it was Miles—”
Eva sucks in a breath. “Alice, how can you say that?”
She lowers her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she says. “But I don’t know. I just... Miles has been acting so strangely, Eva. I’ve been rooming with him, remember? I’ve seen him twitching, talking to himself, snapping over the smallest stuff. We got into an argument right before he had that panic attack.” Her gaze travels over us. “I told him I thought we should tell the police that...” She stops short.
“What?” Karly presses.
She takes a breath. “That we weren’t together the entire time last night,” she finishes quietly. “Miles didn’t want to change his statement. And now he’s gone.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Eva jumps in quickly. “He might have just needed some time to think, to clear his head.”
Alice’s gaze strays to the dark window. “I get that. But the police told us to stay here. This storm is no joke, and Miles just walked right out into it.”
“Because he’s scared,” Eva says, though her voice doesn’t carry as much conviction this time.
“I’m not saying that I think Miles...” Alice trails off and swallows. “Maybe it was an accident.”
“It wasn’t Miles,” Danny mutters.
Karly tilts her head. “Well, I actually don’t think it was Miles, either. I think it was Colton or Danny.” She doesn’t break eye contact when she says my name.
My heart starts hammering in my chest. I don’t move. No one does. We’re all frozen, like coiled springs.
“Wait.” Alice holds up her hands. “Is this about the note?” She looks at Karly in the seat beside her. “Please don’t be suspicious of Danny because of the note. He didn’t write it, I did.”
Now everyone’s attention is back on her, and my mind is racing.
“Just...” She lets out a fractured breath. “Don’t blame Danny, it was all me. If you’re going to doubt anyone over the note, then doubt me.”
Karly’s gaze drifts to the floor. “Okay. But that’s not why I said Danny’s name.”
“Okay. Well, good.” Alice raises her chin. I see her catch Danny’s eye, and she nods. He mirrors the gesture.
Noah clears his throat. “Alright, well, I’m saying Miles,” he mumbles, but I see his eyes go to Danny. I didn’t miss that inadvertent glance; I doubt anyone did. I’m just glad he didn’t speak his true feelings out loud.
And then it’s on me. They’re all looking at me, waiting.
“You all know what I think,” I say. “I don’t need to say it again.”
Eva folds her arms, her elbow bumping against mine. “And don’t include me in this witch hunt,” she snaps. “Frankly, I don’t think any of us are capable, otherwise I wouldn’t be on this trip. And while we’re in here speculating on Miles’s innocence, he could be in serious danger out there alone.” She gestures to the pitch-black night beyond the rained-streaked windowpanes.
“Yeah,” Danny says. “Maybe whoever killed Piper has gone after Miles, too. Because maybe Miles figured it out, and they wanted to keep him quiet.”
Karly sucks in a breath.
Next to me, Eva stands abruptly. “This is ridiculous,” she says. She sidles past me and starts toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I call.
“To look for Miles.” She swings the front door open, letting in a rush of cold air.
I’m on my feet now, too, and I follow, because I don’t know what else to do. The others are calling after us, but we’re not turning back. Suddenly, I’m outside in the darkness, shielding my eyes from the storm, stumbling down the wooden porch steps, and sinking into mud as I walk blindly into the night. I can’t see her. I can’t hear anything above the forest groaning in the gale.
“Eva!” I shout, but my voice is stolen by the wind.
Title: Audio File_Paul Lauder Interview
Recording commenced at approximately twelve p.m. on Saturday, April sixteenth. Good afternoon, my name is Detective Brennan. Can you confirm your full name, please?
Paul Lauder. I’m the owner of the property.
Mr. Lauder, thank you for arriving so quickly this morning. Could you give me some more information on the arrangement this group of minors has with you at the property?
They’re a good bunch of kids, trustworthy. My nephew Noah and his buddies. I let them use the place for a couple of days over their spring break. They’re good kids.
I assume you’re familiar with the group, your nephew’s friends?
Yes, I’ve met a couple of the boys before. The brothers, Colton and Danny, and Noah’s friend Javier, they all came to stay with me for a weekend last winter right after I first bought this place.
Had you previously met the victim, Piper Meyers?
No. I mean, I’d heard her name mentioned by the boys. They all thought very highly of her. Detective Brennan, I am beyond devastated that this has happened. I assume the family has been notified?
Yes, they have been informed and I can confirm that they are being supported through these difficult circumstances.
Right. Please, if there’s anything I can do, to reach out to them and express my sincere condolences.
I’ll be sure to let you know. Mr. Lauder, you said you’d heard the boys talking about Ms. Meyers. Can you elaborate on that at all?
(0:09 DELAY) Only that the boys mentioned her name. I remember they showed me a social media video on their phones, one of Piper’s. She seemed like such a bright and charismatic girl. It’s devastating. I keep thinking, maybe if I’d been here to supervise... But Noah’s eighteen years old. Most of them are. And I’ve been close by in the area in case they needed anything.
Mr. Lauder, are you aware of any reason why an altercation might have taken place here last night?
No. Absolutely not. The caves around here are extremely dangerous, Detective Brennan. Rest assured, I’ll be placing hazard signs at the rocks ahead of opening the grounds to the public. An accident like this will not happen again, I can assure you of that.
EVA
I feel Colton’s hand reach for mine in the darkness.
“What are you doing?” he half yells. The night is disorienting, muddling. I know the lodge is behind us; I can see the glow of the fire coming from inside the cabin, but everything ahead is lost in an abyss. I don’t know where the forest begins or what I’m even walking toward.
“I have to find Miles.” I sound breathless. Too loud, too frantic. “What if Danny’s right? What if whoever killed Piper has done something to Miles, too? Maybe whatever it was that Piper knew, Miles knew, too.” I slip my hand free from Colton’s. “We have to find him.”
“Eva, this is a bad idea,” he says in a ragged voice. “Please. Please don’t go out in this. You have no idea where Miles might have gone.” He reaches for my hand again, and I let his fingers fold around mine, a touch of warmth in the cold air. “We’ll call the police. We’ll get a search party out looking for him or something.”
I swallow down a painful lump in my throat. “But imagine how that’s going to look? If we tell the police Miles has left the lodge, then they’ll think he had something to do with what happened to Piper and he’s trying to run. Even Alice thinks that and she’s his friend.”
“Okay,” Colton says calmly, his hand still sealed around mine. “Then we’ll come up with a better idea. Just not this.”
“Piper’s phone is missing,” I blurt out. “I think someone’s taken it.”
There’s a beat of silence, and it feels like an eternity before Colton speaks again.
“Okay,” he says at last. “We’ll figure it out. Just don’t leave.”
I can’t answer. I can’t find the words. But I let him lead me through the darkness, back toward the blinking porch light. We feel our way up the steps and into the shelter of his room.
The bulb glows weakly, illuminating the pine walls and tired furniture. It highlights the shadows, too.
I take a seat on the bed as Colton crosses the room and crouches at his backpack. A moment later, he hands me a towel.
“Thanks,” I murmur, wrapping it around my shoulders and shivering as rainwater crawls down my face.
Colton sits beside me on the bed. “Miles will be okay,” he says. His gaze is fixed on the opposite wall, broad shoulders hunched forward. “Don’t listen to Danny. It’s just his paranoia. Don’t let it get to you.”
I study Colton’s profile—he’s calm, breathing steadily. He always gives off this air of someone so stable, so in control no matter how hard his life is thrown off-kilter. “How can you be so sure?” I whisper.
He turns to me and musters a smile, the faintest dimple appearing in his cheek. “Because someone has to be.”
I summon a smile back. “Yeah, I guess so.” In this quiet moment between us, I gaze into his eyes. “I don’t know how you always manage to keep it together. It’s quite the skill you have there.”
He grins and looks down at his hands. “Yeah, not really. It’s all an act. Trust me, inside, I’m losing it worse than anyone.”
I laugh quietly. “You cover it well.”
His eyes return to me. “Eva, I lied to you the other day.”
The words make me stop. For a second, I can’t find my voice. “About what?” I ask weakly.
He musses his hair. “I did want to go to college. I was going to go, that was the plan. Did Danny tell you?”
I shake my head, keeping my focus on him.
“We had the money and everything,” he says. “My grandparents’ savings. They were going to pay for us to go.”
“They changed their mind?” I venture.
“No.” He starts gnawing on his lower lip. “We were all set. They transferred the money into my mom’s account and all that. I knew where I was applying, we were good to go. But,” he draws out the word, “then my mom lost her job and she thought if she gambled the money on a sure thing, she’d make it back and then some.”
“It wasn’t a sure thing,” I murmur.
“Yeah.” He presses his lips together. “She lost. And we all lost.”
“Oh, no,” I breathe, touching my hand to my heart. “Colton, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He forces a smile. But I can tell from the stricken look on his face that this is anything but okay.
“Danny’s still going, though...”
“Yeah,” he says. “Danny’s been saving, we both have. He should be the one to go. He’s got more potential than I have.”
Those words make my heart ache for him, because I know he truly believes them. “That’s not true,” I say, touching his hand.
“Anyway,” he keeps going, staring distantly at the shadowed wall opposite us, “right before we left for the trip, my mom came home late. She’d been out with some friends, and we saw a receipt from the casino they’d been at. She’d dropped some serious cash that night. And Danny...” He pauses and shakes his head at the memory. “Danny lost it with her. He didn’t hold back. Then I got involved, too, and things got bad between the three of us. Things got said.”
“I can imagine.”
“But it didn’t feel good,” he mutters. “It’s not her fault, you know? She’s got a problem and she needs... She needs help. She needs us.”
I take a slow breath. “Do your grandparents know about what happened to the money?”
He locks his hands and bows his head. “No. We’re going to act like I’m still going.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You’re going to keep that up for four years?”
He shrugs helplessly.
“That’s a pretty big lie to keep up with.”
“I know,” he says. “I hate lying to them, but I don’t want to hurt them, either. This would crush them. I know it would.”
I gaze at his profile. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”
He turns to me in the low light and smiles in the most breathtaking way. “You’ve done more than you know.” When I frown, he adds, “I haven’t talked to anyone about this, outside of Danny and my mom. And then you... I know you won’t judge me, or us. You never have.”
We fall silent, and it feels peaceful. Safe.
“So that’s me,” he says. “I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. Because I don’t want to. And I don’t want you to, either.” His gaze drifts over my face. “I really care about you, Eva. I always have. Even when we didn’t see each other all that much, I thought about you, and I never stopped caring.”
“I care about you, too,” I whisper.
“I know this trip has been the worst kind of bad. But we’ve got each other, right?”
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“So, yeah. We’ll get through this.”
I lean closer to him, taking comfort from his constancy. In the chaos of everything, the doubt and uncertainty, it’s Colton I am certain of. I’m safe with him, and he’s safe with me. And when it’s just us, here, alone, everything really does feel like it’s going to be okay. Some version of okay, at least.
Before I know it, I’m closer to him. My lips are on his. He falters, just for a moment, but then he kisses me back. His hand rests on the small of my back, and a shiver moves over me.
My head spins as the world dissolves around us. Here, together, this is the only thing I know I’m sure of.
Then the gale slams against the windowpane, making us stop. My eyes shoot to the window, and I see it, a silhouette in the glass. A shadow of a sneering face staring in from outside.
A breath catches in my throat just as the bulb cuts out.
COLTON
Eva takes a sharp breath as the bulb blows, plunging us into darkness.
“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “It’s just the power. The storm must have taken the power out.”
“No,” she chokes, grabbing my sleeve. “Someone’s out there!” Before I can untangle her words, she’s on her feet, scrambling across the room toward the back window.
“Who’s there?” she yells, flinging open the window to the wild night. The porch bulbs are out, too, and the bay has disappeared in the dark.
I stumble across the room and join her at the window, trying to see out, trying to see what she’s seen. But there’s nothing but endless black. Eva’s shaking, though, leaning against the ledge while she tries to search the night.
“What did you see?”
“There was someone out there watching us,” she says, breathing fast. “I’m sure there was.”
“What, someone looking in through the window?”
“Yes. I think so.” She hesitates and drags her hands through her hair. “I’m sure I saw someone. I thought I did. But...” she trails off and hugs her arms around herself.
I stare at the black pane and whatever lies beyond it.
A bone-cold feeling comes over me. It’s too dark to see out. Even if there is someone out there, there’s no way we’d be able to see them.
EVA
“I should probably go,” I murmur into the darkness. I’ve been lying on Colton’s bed for a while with my head rested against his shoulder and nothing but the touch of his hand around mine.
I can’t shake the harrowing memory of seeing a sneering face in the window, watching us, taunting us. But I know the night can play cruel tricks with its bending shadows and deceptive shapes. Whatever it was that I saw, or thought I saw, there’s nothing I can do about it now. The power is out, and there’s nothing to do but wait for the morning to come.
“Miles?” Eva blinks like she can’t believe those words just came from me.
I clear my throat. “Because he said it, didn’t he? He thought Piper was the person who told the school about him selling test papers.”
Eva chokes out a sound, and my lungs tighten. Up until now, we’ve been on the same side, together. But now she’s looking at me like I’ve betrayed her, and it doesn’t feel good.
“He wasn’t selling papers,” she says firmly. “He was framed for it.”
“Do you really believe that?” Noah asks from across the table. His eyes are on Eva, and he’s waiting for a response. I figure he’s trying to back me up, but it isn’t helping. Her face falls, and he just keeps talking. “They tracked Miles through the computer system,” Noah says. “They had the footprint from when he logged on and when the tests were downloaded, that’s what I heard.”
“They could have gotten it wrong.” Danny’s voice is cold.
From across the table, Karly’s gaze lingers on him. “That would be unlikely, though, wouldn’t it?”
Danny falls silent, and my shoulders tighten. No good can come of this debate, especially with three of Miles’s closest friends in the room. None of them are going to want to hear this. “Look,” I jump in, “all I meant was, Miles had motive. Might have had motive.”
“You had motive, Colton,” Karly says, her eyes landing on me now. “Piper said you hated her, and we all saw it.” She pauses, glances at Danny, then adds, “Just saying.”
Danny sits taller. “Alright. If we’re going to do this, then let’s go.” He slaps his hands together. “We’ll go around the room and say who we each think did it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. Next to me, Eva sighs.
“Who is this helping?” she asks sharply.
“I want to know,” Danny says. “Don’t you? Don’t you want to know if any of your friends think you’re a murderer?”
“No.”
“I’ll go first,” Danny pushes on. There’s a bite to his voice, a venom that I don’t hear on him often. “I think it was Javier.” Just like that, no pause, no remorse for saying it. Just done.
He looks at Alice on the couch opposite. “Al,” he says, gesturing for her to speak. “Your turn.”
She hesitates, and for a second, I think she’s going to refuse to answer. And I realize I’m hoping she does refuse, because Eva’s right, who is this helping? But then Alice speaks, so softly I can barely hear her. “I don’t know.” Then after a pause, “But if it was Miles—”
Eva sucks in a breath. “Alice, how can you say that?”
She lowers her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she says. “But I don’t know. I just... Miles has been acting so strangely, Eva. I’ve been rooming with him, remember? I’ve seen him twitching, talking to himself, snapping over the smallest stuff. We got into an argument right before he had that panic attack.” Her gaze travels over us. “I told him I thought we should tell the police that...” She stops short.
“What?” Karly presses.
She takes a breath. “That we weren’t together the entire time last night,” she finishes quietly. “Miles didn’t want to change his statement. And now he’s gone.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Eva jumps in quickly. “He might have just needed some time to think, to clear his head.”
Alice’s gaze strays to the dark window. “I get that. But the police told us to stay here. This storm is no joke, and Miles just walked right out into it.”
“Because he’s scared,” Eva says, though her voice doesn’t carry as much conviction this time.
“I’m not saying that I think Miles...” Alice trails off and swallows. “Maybe it was an accident.”
“It wasn’t Miles,” Danny mutters.
Karly tilts her head. “Well, I actually don’t think it was Miles, either. I think it was Colton or Danny.” She doesn’t break eye contact when she says my name.
My heart starts hammering in my chest. I don’t move. No one does. We’re all frozen, like coiled springs.
“Wait.” Alice holds up her hands. “Is this about the note?” She looks at Karly in the seat beside her. “Please don’t be suspicious of Danny because of the note. He didn’t write it, I did.”
Now everyone’s attention is back on her, and my mind is racing.
“Just...” She lets out a fractured breath. “Don’t blame Danny, it was all me. If you’re going to doubt anyone over the note, then doubt me.”
Karly’s gaze drifts to the floor. “Okay. But that’s not why I said Danny’s name.”
“Okay. Well, good.” Alice raises her chin. I see her catch Danny’s eye, and she nods. He mirrors the gesture.
Noah clears his throat. “Alright, well, I’m saying Miles,” he mumbles, but I see his eyes go to Danny. I didn’t miss that inadvertent glance; I doubt anyone did. I’m just glad he didn’t speak his true feelings out loud.
And then it’s on me. They’re all looking at me, waiting.
“You all know what I think,” I say. “I don’t need to say it again.”
Eva folds her arms, her elbow bumping against mine. “And don’t include me in this witch hunt,” she snaps. “Frankly, I don’t think any of us are capable, otherwise I wouldn’t be on this trip. And while we’re in here speculating on Miles’s innocence, he could be in serious danger out there alone.” She gestures to the pitch-black night beyond the rained-streaked windowpanes.
“Yeah,” Danny says. “Maybe whoever killed Piper has gone after Miles, too. Because maybe Miles figured it out, and they wanted to keep him quiet.”
Karly sucks in a breath.
Next to me, Eva stands abruptly. “This is ridiculous,” she says. She sidles past me and starts toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I call.
“To look for Miles.” She swings the front door open, letting in a rush of cold air.
I’m on my feet now, too, and I follow, because I don’t know what else to do. The others are calling after us, but we’re not turning back. Suddenly, I’m outside in the darkness, shielding my eyes from the storm, stumbling down the wooden porch steps, and sinking into mud as I walk blindly into the night. I can’t see her. I can’t hear anything above the forest groaning in the gale.
“Eva!” I shout, but my voice is stolen by the wind.
Title: Audio File_Paul Lauder Interview
Recording commenced at approximately twelve p.m. on Saturday, April sixteenth. Good afternoon, my name is Detective Brennan. Can you confirm your full name, please?
Paul Lauder. I’m the owner of the property.
Mr. Lauder, thank you for arriving so quickly this morning. Could you give me some more information on the arrangement this group of minors has with you at the property?
They’re a good bunch of kids, trustworthy. My nephew Noah and his buddies. I let them use the place for a couple of days over their spring break. They’re good kids.
I assume you’re familiar with the group, your nephew’s friends?
Yes, I’ve met a couple of the boys before. The brothers, Colton and Danny, and Noah’s friend Javier, they all came to stay with me for a weekend last winter right after I first bought this place.
Had you previously met the victim, Piper Meyers?
No. I mean, I’d heard her name mentioned by the boys. They all thought very highly of her. Detective Brennan, I am beyond devastated that this has happened. I assume the family has been notified?
Yes, they have been informed and I can confirm that they are being supported through these difficult circumstances.
Right. Please, if there’s anything I can do, to reach out to them and express my sincere condolences.
I’ll be sure to let you know. Mr. Lauder, you said you’d heard the boys talking about Ms. Meyers. Can you elaborate on that at all?
(0:09 DELAY) Only that the boys mentioned her name. I remember they showed me a social media video on their phones, one of Piper’s. She seemed like such a bright and charismatic girl. It’s devastating. I keep thinking, maybe if I’d been here to supervise... But Noah’s eighteen years old. Most of them are. And I’ve been close by in the area in case they needed anything.
Mr. Lauder, are you aware of any reason why an altercation might have taken place here last night?
No. Absolutely not. The caves around here are extremely dangerous, Detective Brennan. Rest assured, I’ll be placing hazard signs at the rocks ahead of opening the grounds to the public. An accident like this will not happen again, I can assure you of that.
EVA
I feel Colton’s hand reach for mine in the darkness.
“What are you doing?” he half yells. The night is disorienting, muddling. I know the lodge is behind us; I can see the glow of the fire coming from inside the cabin, but everything ahead is lost in an abyss. I don’t know where the forest begins or what I’m even walking toward.
“I have to find Miles.” I sound breathless. Too loud, too frantic. “What if Danny’s right? What if whoever killed Piper has done something to Miles, too? Maybe whatever it was that Piper knew, Miles knew, too.” I slip my hand free from Colton’s. “We have to find him.”
“Eva, this is a bad idea,” he says in a ragged voice. “Please. Please don’t go out in this. You have no idea where Miles might have gone.” He reaches for my hand again, and I let his fingers fold around mine, a touch of warmth in the cold air. “We’ll call the police. We’ll get a search party out looking for him or something.”
I swallow down a painful lump in my throat. “But imagine how that’s going to look? If we tell the police Miles has left the lodge, then they’ll think he had something to do with what happened to Piper and he’s trying to run. Even Alice thinks that and she’s his friend.”
“Okay,” Colton says calmly, his hand still sealed around mine. “Then we’ll come up with a better idea. Just not this.”
“Piper’s phone is missing,” I blurt out. “I think someone’s taken it.”
There’s a beat of silence, and it feels like an eternity before Colton speaks again.
“Okay,” he says at last. “We’ll figure it out. Just don’t leave.”
I can’t answer. I can’t find the words. But I let him lead me through the darkness, back toward the blinking porch light. We feel our way up the steps and into the shelter of his room.
The bulb glows weakly, illuminating the pine walls and tired furniture. It highlights the shadows, too.
I take a seat on the bed as Colton crosses the room and crouches at his backpack. A moment later, he hands me a towel.
“Thanks,” I murmur, wrapping it around my shoulders and shivering as rainwater crawls down my face.
Colton sits beside me on the bed. “Miles will be okay,” he says. His gaze is fixed on the opposite wall, broad shoulders hunched forward. “Don’t listen to Danny. It’s just his paranoia. Don’t let it get to you.”
I study Colton’s profile—he’s calm, breathing steadily. He always gives off this air of someone so stable, so in control no matter how hard his life is thrown off-kilter. “How can you be so sure?” I whisper.
He turns to me and musters a smile, the faintest dimple appearing in his cheek. “Because someone has to be.”
I summon a smile back. “Yeah, I guess so.” In this quiet moment between us, I gaze into his eyes. “I don’t know how you always manage to keep it together. It’s quite the skill you have there.”
He grins and looks down at his hands. “Yeah, not really. It’s all an act. Trust me, inside, I’m losing it worse than anyone.”
I laugh quietly. “You cover it well.”
His eyes return to me. “Eva, I lied to you the other day.”
The words make me stop. For a second, I can’t find my voice. “About what?” I ask weakly.
He musses his hair. “I did want to go to college. I was going to go, that was the plan. Did Danny tell you?”
I shake my head, keeping my focus on him.
“We had the money and everything,” he says. “My grandparents’ savings. They were going to pay for us to go.”
“They changed their mind?” I venture.
“No.” He starts gnawing on his lower lip. “We were all set. They transferred the money into my mom’s account and all that. I knew where I was applying, we were good to go. But,” he draws out the word, “then my mom lost her job and she thought if she gambled the money on a sure thing, she’d make it back and then some.”
“It wasn’t a sure thing,” I murmur.
“Yeah.” He presses his lips together. “She lost. And we all lost.”
“Oh, no,” I breathe, touching my hand to my heart. “Colton, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He forces a smile. But I can tell from the stricken look on his face that this is anything but okay.
“Danny’s still going, though...”
“Yeah,” he says. “Danny’s been saving, we both have. He should be the one to go. He’s got more potential than I have.”
Those words make my heart ache for him, because I know he truly believes them. “That’s not true,” I say, touching his hand.
“Anyway,” he keeps going, staring distantly at the shadowed wall opposite us, “right before we left for the trip, my mom came home late. She’d been out with some friends, and we saw a receipt from the casino they’d been at. She’d dropped some serious cash that night. And Danny...” He pauses and shakes his head at the memory. “Danny lost it with her. He didn’t hold back. Then I got involved, too, and things got bad between the three of us. Things got said.”
“I can imagine.”
“But it didn’t feel good,” he mutters. “It’s not her fault, you know? She’s got a problem and she needs... She needs help. She needs us.”
I take a slow breath. “Do your grandparents know about what happened to the money?”
He locks his hands and bows his head. “No. We’re going to act like I’m still going.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You’re going to keep that up for four years?”
He shrugs helplessly.
“That’s a pretty big lie to keep up with.”
“I know,” he says. “I hate lying to them, but I don’t want to hurt them, either. This would crush them. I know it would.”
I gaze at his profile. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”
He turns to me in the low light and smiles in the most breathtaking way. “You’ve done more than you know.” When I frown, he adds, “I haven’t talked to anyone about this, outside of Danny and my mom. And then you... I know you won’t judge me, or us. You never have.”
We fall silent, and it feels peaceful. Safe.
“So that’s me,” he says. “I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. Because I don’t want to. And I don’t want you to, either.” His gaze drifts over my face. “I really care about you, Eva. I always have. Even when we didn’t see each other all that much, I thought about you, and I never stopped caring.”
“I care about you, too,” I whisper.
“I know this trip has been the worst kind of bad. But we’ve got each other, right?”
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“So, yeah. We’ll get through this.”
I lean closer to him, taking comfort from his constancy. In the chaos of everything, the doubt and uncertainty, it’s Colton I am certain of. I’m safe with him, and he’s safe with me. And when it’s just us, here, alone, everything really does feel like it’s going to be okay. Some version of okay, at least.
Before I know it, I’m closer to him. My lips are on his. He falters, just for a moment, but then he kisses me back. His hand rests on the small of my back, and a shiver moves over me.
My head spins as the world dissolves around us. Here, together, this is the only thing I know I’m sure of.
Then the gale slams against the windowpane, making us stop. My eyes shoot to the window, and I see it, a silhouette in the glass. A shadow of a sneering face staring in from outside.
A breath catches in my throat just as the bulb cuts out.
COLTON
Eva takes a sharp breath as the bulb blows, plunging us into darkness.
“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “It’s just the power. The storm must have taken the power out.”
“No,” she chokes, grabbing my sleeve. “Someone’s out there!” Before I can untangle her words, she’s on her feet, scrambling across the room toward the back window.
“Who’s there?” she yells, flinging open the window to the wild night. The porch bulbs are out, too, and the bay has disappeared in the dark.
I stumble across the room and join her at the window, trying to see out, trying to see what she’s seen. But there’s nothing but endless black. Eva’s shaking, though, leaning against the ledge while she tries to search the night.
“What did you see?”
“There was someone out there watching us,” she says, breathing fast. “I’m sure there was.”
“What, someone looking in through the window?”
“Yes. I think so.” She hesitates and drags her hands through her hair. “I’m sure I saw someone. I thought I did. But...” she trails off and hugs her arms around herself.
I stare at the black pane and whatever lies beyond it.
A bone-cold feeling comes over me. It’s too dark to see out. Even if there is someone out there, there’s no way we’d be able to see them.
EVA
“I should probably go,” I murmur into the darkness. I’ve been lying on Colton’s bed for a while with my head rested against his shoulder and nothing but the touch of his hand around mine.
I can’t shake the harrowing memory of seeing a sneering face in the window, watching us, taunting us. But I know the night can play cruel tricks with its bending shadows and deceptive shapes. Whatever it was that I saw, or thought I saw, there’s nothing I can do about it now. The power is out, and there’s nothing to do but wait for the morning to come.
